My co-worker is a fountain of misinformation!! 5/14 the day has come page 130

[DISUNC]

I sit next to a lady who is in her 60's she knows everything about everything, some of the things she tells people would curl your hair.

Today's gems included...

If you have Lasik eye surgery, you will have to put special, expensive drops in your eyes for the rest of your life. (I had Lasik 3 years ago, use drops maybe once a week, OTC kind)

There is nothing to see or do in San Antonio TX. It is all Mexicans. (My apologies to all Texans)

There aren't any emergency rooms in Canada, because of their health care system. If something goes wrong, you have to wait weeks to see a doctor no matter how sick you are. Her friends husband had a heart attack and she put him in the car and drove him across the border.

And don't you DARE tell her that she's incorrect. That could lead to WW III. I sit in my cubicle and shake my head

Whats her DIS name? I am sure she has been on these boards

 

[Alyssa88]

When DH was about 16 he worked at a local Rite Aid stocking shelves. One day this lady came in and asked him where the KY Jelly was. His response? "Um, I don't know about KY, but we DO have grape and strawberry.".....the lady went to go find another associate....To this day, I won't let him live it down .

My best friend worked at one of the millions of Rite Aids in Philly. There seems to be one on every other block, lol.

 

[DISUNC]

at my job....we have 'Perryisms'....

HOLY CRAP!!! I had a boss who was just like that...and his last name was perry...and WE called them "Perryims" too!

 

[puggymom]

I used to work with a guy that loved to expose the stupidty of our co-workers(his words). He decided to go around and ask who everyone's favorite president was. One woman went on and on about how good things were when Ross Perot was in charge

 

[NewJersey]

OMG this thread is hysterical.

 

[MyGoofy26]

Another South African story.

I had two men working for me when I lived in Dallas. One was originally from England and one was originally from South Africa. Their accents were totally different, but were obviously not American accents. They just sounded British to the average Texan.

I overheard another worker (who knew where they were from) ask if they had know each other growing up as they sounded alike. Yeah like everybody in the British Isles knows everyother slightly British English (or at least non-American) speaking person around the world.

My old roommate on the college program was from VA and me from WV. When people would ask where we were from, the next question was almost always, "OH! Are you sisters?!"

 

[jmskinner]

This thread is great.

One story comes to mind. A co-worker was talking about her daughter went to Mardi Gras and came back with all of these beads. She thought it was so great. I just wondered if she knew how women acquired beads during Mardi Gras.

 

[arminnie]

A co-worker was talking about her daughter went to Mardi Gras and came back with all of these beads. She thought it was so great. I just wondered if she knew how women acquired beads during Mardi Gras.

Hate to pop your bubble, but for most of the parade route there is NO flashing for beads. I got sacks full of beads, cups, stuffed animals, etc. last year, and I wasn't even trying to reach up (much less flash). Besides I am a 60 year old woman. I don't think flashing would get me any beads - maybe beer bottles.

During one big parade I was at a friend's house (with small children) sitting on the porch. The guys on the floats thought it was great to see if they could toss something all the way up to the porch.

Mardi Gras along Napoleon and St. Charles is very family oriented. It's down on Canal where all the drunk tourist are that the flashing goes on. Of course that may well be where your co-worker's daughter was.

 

[rie'smom]

Hate to pop your bubble, but for most of the parade route there is NO flashing for beads. I got sacks full of beads, cups, stuffed animals, etc. last year, and I wasn't even trying to reach up (much less flash). Besides I am a 60 year old woman. I don't think flashing would get me any beads - maybe beer bottles.

During one big parade I was at a friend's house (with small children) sitting on the porch. The guys on the floats thought it was great to see if they could toss something all the way up to the porch.

Mardi Gras along Napoleon and St. Charles is very family oriented. It's down on Canal where all the drunk tourist are that the flashing goes on. Of course that may well be where your co-worker's daughter was.

We don't get beads by flashing either. However for those who do,you forgot to add the people walking down Bourbon St. who beg for beads Bourbon St. by flashing the idiots on the balconies.

 

[xyzabc33]

x

 

[Evil Genius]

No Miss Informations today, she was pretty quiet. BUT!!! She did get a beautiful floral piece today. I asked if it was her birthday, anniversary or??? Once again I get the I must have 2 heads look. They're for St Patrick's day, her sister sent them. "Are you Irish?" "No German" She also sent her sister flowers for St. Patty's day. Why not just buy yourself flowers and call it a day.

 

[marybet]

Our DIL is a Miss Know It All, and our grandson is following in her footsteps. DH says she says things with such authority, when she just doesn't have a clue.

We were on a cruise and we were in Jamaica on an island tour. We had been driving for awhile, passing all these small concrete block homes. She tells us they don't have enough trees in Jamaica so they have to use bricks. DH, who is in the building business says I think it is because of the hurricanes. And when we get back to the harbor she sees the ship and says "look, they've already turned the ship around." I pointed out that they would not pull up the gangways while people were getting on and off all day.

We do get a lot of laughs from her. At least there is one thing she is good at.

I just remembered one of my favorites. We were at their mobile home for Xmas one year, and she was fixing us an "amazing" lunch of crackers and those gift pack sausages. She was serving wine, because she is a "wine connoisseur". I really wanted to tell her that because she had more than one bottle at a time, that did not make her a connoisseur. On our last vacation to WDW she bought some wine at Wal Mart that was about $5 a bottle, and said that it was her favorite.

 

[jmskinner]

arminnie

You didn't burst my bubble. This girl did look like a wild child though. You know, a group of 21, 22 year olds going to Mardi Gras.

Thank you for the info though. My mother has always wanted to go during Mardri Gras, and I thought she was nuts. When I think Mardi Gras, I picture what you see on episodes of "Cops". So you made me remember there is more to it. Thank you.

Still enjoying this thread. I think everyone has someone in their lives like this "Misinformation".

 

[CookieGVB]

When DH was about 16 he worked at a local Rite Aid stocking shelves. One day this lady came in and asked him where the KY Jelly was. His response? "Um, I don't know about KY, but we DO have grape and strawberry.".....the lady went to go find another associate....To this day, I won't let him live it down .

O...M...G....can't...breathe!!

 

[CookieGVB]

No Miss Informations today, she was pretty quiet. BUT!!! She did get a beautiful floral piece today. I asked if it was her birthday, anniversary or??? Once again I get the I must have 2 heads look. They're for St Patrick's day, her sister sent them. "Are you Irish?" "No German" She also sent her sister flowers for St. Patty's day. Why not just buy yourself flowers and call it a day.

OMG - maybe she's the sister of my co-worker. She had flowers on her desk from her sister because it's St. Patrick's Day, too. She's not married, and I believe her last name sounds German. She also wanted to know if our office was closing early (not because of the bad weather), because of St. Patrick's Day.

Not Miss Information - but certainly Miss Spoken - this woman has no "edit" button whatsoever...

This person actually came out of our supervisor's office and started conversation about her. "She's so thin and regal - she could've been a model." She then started making comparisons between my supervisor and my co-worker..."You're beautiful, too, but in a different way. You have different features." (I was sitting there, thinking "duh - they're not related in any way, of COURSE they would probably have different features!") Then she comes out with this classic, "You're beautiful and voluptuous - you could be a centerfold!"

I couldn't take it anymore, and I burst out laughing. We tried to tell her that she really should watch what she says - lots of people wouldn't understand that she meant it as a compliment. We couldn't convince her that people might actually be offended by this sort of comment.

 

[krissy2803]

There is nothing to see or do in San Antonio TX. It is all Mexicans. (My apologies to all Texans)

 

[Poohbear123]

Keep them coming!

 

[Disneyfan63]

These are hilerical!

Jim

 

[bettyann29]

Evil Genius.. This thread is hilarious.. I love reading about Miss Information! She could have her own little stint on Saturday Night Live.. kinda like Debbie Downer.. but it would be called Miss Information..

 

[HonestAbe]

Start rumors with her like the US government is considering rounding up everyone over 55 to work clerical work on the Iraqi war or some crap. Tell her you saw it on Good Morning America and you're really worried they may take your mom...

If she asks why they would do that tell her it's because the government feels they are close to retirement anyway and cant be contributing much to society at large and therefore might as well get a couple more good years out of em.