My co-worker is a fountain of misinformation!! 5/14 the day has come page 130

[RUDisney]

So, (slapping myself in the side of my head) THAT'S why the plane didn't take as long to get back to the US from Russia! If every couple on the plane had lost 30 pounds like DH and I did, it MUST be the reason that it didn't take as long! Hmm, and I thought it had something to do with the jet stream.

Gee, now I understand!

 

[nhrenee]

Thanks you for the laughs everyone!

I had a friend who was not dumb but she was very naive. She found an old picture her father had taken. It was blurry and she asked him why?

He told her it was because it was WINDY that day! (Yes, she believed him)

 

[Chicago526]

Oh oh oh! This made me remember!

I'm a travel agent, and a co-worker of mine had this conversation with a client's secretary a few years ago.

My co-worker had just booked an airline reservation for the secretary's boss from LA to New York.

Secretary: Why does the flight to New York take longer than the flight home to LA?

Co-worker: The flight going east isn't longer, it's just that you're changing time zones, and you gain time going east and lose time going west.

Secretary: I don't understand, the flying time should be the same since the distance is the same.

Co-worker: The actual flying time IS the same, it just the time zones. When it's 11 AM in New York, it's only 8 AM in LA, so when you travel between time zones, it appears that your lose or gain time.

They went back and forth for about 10 minutes, and the secretary just didn't understand no matter what my co-worker said. Eventually she just told her that the plane going east was just flying slower than the one going west, and that finally made the secretary happy!

 

[budbeerlady]

Any new news today?

 

[Evil Genius]

Quiet week. She must be tired.

 

[ElizaB39]

Quiet week. She must be tired.

Likely she is storing up her energy for her Vegas trip...

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My friend goes "Aw man, I've been spelling that one wrong, too!"

she told me that it was time I grew up and wore adult shoes!

Well, didn't you hear about the ship the Titanic? It just sunk of the coast of Florida!!!

No it's not it's all the fat American's traveling to Japan make the plane slower but coming back it's all the skinny Japanese that make the plane fly faster. There is no excessive weight lag coming home because they all eat rice and fish.

This is keeping me from getting my work done.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

Found out today that when in Vegas she is staying at TI (Treasure Island). No she doesn't go see the fountains at the Bellagio, because who can stand that music!! (They usually play classical/opera and time the fountains to it.) And she's not taking one of those stupid boats at the Venetian (gondolas) Not going to the Hoover Dam, because "It's just water" They've seen every Cirque de Soliel show there. Sounds like they go from TI to the Mirage and back and that is it.

Tell her not to order room service or she'll get locked out of her room .

 

[simba928]

These are too funny! I just thought of another one. A friend of mine (not the "What language do they speak" one, a different one, but equally as lacking in common sense) was talking to a teacher. The teacher wrote the word "Arkansas" on the board. My friend raised her hand and said "Mrs. X, you spelled that wrong. Its A-R-K-A-N-S-A-W." The teacher says "No, thats correct as it." My friend insisted that it wasn't pronounced Ar-Kan-sas, so it had to be spelled with a W. The teacher handed my friend an atlas and told her to look it up, so she did. When she finally finds it, she raised her hand and said "Mrs. X, its spelled wrong in here, too!"

 

[Evil Genius]

Tell her not to order room service or she'll get locked out of her room .

Now WHO would do something like that???

 

[DisFanKenz]

This reminds me of a conversation my friends and I had with our "major blonde friend" who was talking about her upcoming wedding.

Conversation goes something like this

US: So "A" you excited about getting married?

A: Yeah but I really need to lose some weight first

US: We hear ya. That was something we all wanted to do too when we got married.

A: Yeah because I figured out that since we are going to Japan for our honeymoon I needed to lose a LOT of weight.

US: Why because you are going to Tokyo?

A: Well because the flight from here to Tokyo 17 hours long and the flight home is 13 hours long.

US: Yeah that's the international time zone.

A: No it's not it's all the fat American's traveling to Japan make the plane slower but coming back it's all the skinny Japanese that make the plane fly faster. There is no excessive weight lag coming home because they all eat rice and fish.

I'm blonde and I'm smarter than that...and I'm 12! I think after reading that we all lost 10 IQ points!

 

[Imagine Ears]

Quiet week. She must be tired.

Heh! So sad for us. We look forward to these every day! Tell her that your friends over at the DISboards are wondering how in the world she know so much about everything! Don't know about you, but I'm planning *all* my trips around her advice.

 

[disneymom3]

Wait, they have icebergs off the coast of Florida? Talk about global warming!

Wow, now that I know many people drive to Hawaii, maybe I can get my DH to go there.

This was my thought, except that I think 24 hours min in that tunnel would do me in!!

 

[Evil Genius]

She's making up for lost time today.

She's talking to our supervisor who mentions that the Comptroller will not be in the office today.

MI "Again?!?!?"

Super "Yep"

MI "I'm going to start keeping track of his time, he's taking way too many days off. Who does he think he is?"


Ummm...he's the boss and no one said he's taking the day off, it was just said that he wouldn 't be in the office today.


More vacation news...She never ever sleeps on a plane, because she knows someone is going to go into the overhead and steal her stuff.

She had no clue who Anna Nicole Smith was until she died.

I'm expecting more, since it's not even 8:30am!!

 

[Jennifer48]

She had no clue who Anna Nicole Smith was until she died.

I'm expecting more, since it's not even 8:30am!!

Does she live under a rock? Or own a television? Or go to the grocery store where her face was always plastered on all the gossip magazines?!

I bet the boss is getting his moneys worth out of the company by using company time

 

[gradtchr]

I love it!

 

[KristiKelly]

Okay, Evil Genius, we on the DIS will give you a morning question and then an afternoon question for you to ask her daily so we can find her answer. This could be fun.

Hmm. 1st question - maybe something about global warming, I don't know, I've just gone blank. Anyone think of a fun topic for E.G. to ask?

 

[kaytieeldr]

"Did you know we could eliminate global warming if everyone with air conditioning would run it with the windows open?"
or
"Did you know that Al Gore invented global warming and the internet?"

 

[LSchrow]

a few years ago at a disney store:
woman calls, "someone bought a necklace in florida, for my daughter. can i return it there?"
me: "as long as you have the original Disney World receipt and it was within 60 days"
Woman: "good. the receipt says florida and it was just two weeks ago"
me: hmmmm......"ma'm, was it purchased in Disney World?"
Woman (obviously irritated): "i TOLD you, it was bought in florida!!"
me: "i'm sorry, but the receipt must be from Disney World"
Woman: "are you kidding me??!! it's the same thing!! IDIOT!!"
& she slams the phone down.....

i just don't know how the marathon runners do it....


great thread, btw!

 

[ElizaB39]

She's making up for lost time today.

She's talking to our supervisor who mentions that the Comptroller will not be in the office today.

MI "Again?!?!?"

Super "Yep"

MI "I'm going to start keeping track of his time, he's taking way too many days off. Who does he think he is?"


Ummm...he's the boss and no one said he's taking the day off, it was just said that he wouldn 't be in the office today.


More vacation news...She never ever sleeps on a plane, because she knows someone is going to go into the overhead and steal her stuff.

She had no clue who Anna Nicole Smith was until she died.

I'm expecting more, since it's not even 8:30am!!

She just wants to make sure that you have a good weekend, so she is saving it all up for today! What a great way to end the work wee...