My buddy doesn't ( didn't? ) understand why I won't let my kids have text messaging.

[VickiVM]

Plus "sexting"..... plus, I firmly belive it inhibits quality social growth... I don't expect everybody to agree with me, but since my wife and I are on the same page, I don't see us changing our minds.

I saw it first hand in Florida a few weeks back. I won't re-tell the whole story, but we brought our next door neighbor kids to WDW. Generally well behaved kids who always do what I ask them to do, and always respectful to my wife and I ( at home )... In FL, I actually had to take the one girl's phone away from her at night because she kept calling her BF at 2 AM, and then didn't want to get out of bed in the AM.

Plus, all day long she was texting... at WDW, at Universal.... I called her mother to ask if I could completely take her phone away because of this. Her mother said "Do whatever you need to".

So, I kept it in my pocket, and when she got calls I gave it to her. But then I took it back as soon as the call was over.

Fear of sexting crosses my mind too with my kids. But for now my kids are appropriately fearful enough to let me know when they get strange emails on the computer or 'chain mail' texts on their phone. Sounds like you took control of your neighbor's kids poor cell phone etiquette and handled just like a good parent would!

 

[MichelleVW]

Why could you not contact your child via the other parents land line? Isn't that what parents did before cell phones?

I hate talking on the phone and would rather send my kid a quick text than have to have a chit chat with the parents on the land line.

Why should I have to contact my child at someone else's house by using the family landline if it's more convenient for me to call her on her cell phone? What if I don't want to have a conversation with the parents? What if the phone is busy and I can't get in touch with my child? Why should my convenience have to be impacted at all?

THAT is why parents like their kids to have cell phones.

I can text my daughter and say, "What time should I pick you up?" in less than 5 seconds. That beats having to go find the phone book, look up her friend's parents phone number, call the house, have a brief chat with the mom (because it's not like a business call you can just ask for a certain party - you have to say hi, you have to thank the mom for having your daughter over, etc.

It's easier to just text...

oh yeah...

No it isn't. Your DAUGHTER can pick up a phone and call.

I really don't think a father an 8 year old is the authority on social suicide for a teenager...

I am all for the "you are the parent and you need to do what feels right/works for you" but your stubbornness seems a bit ridiculous to me. Your kids are eight. They do not have any need for texting now. They may never have a need for it but they may WANT it when they become teens. My kids want a lot of things and I deny them tons. Texting may end up being one of the things you deny your kids and that is certainly your right. But your attitude suggests that everyone that has texting uses inappropriate grammar and sends thousands of messages a month. That simply isn't true. To refuse teen girls texting just because you are stubborn when you could instead allow them to have it and set limits seems ridiculous. I hate it too but it certainly isn't the end of the world. Set some limits and I am sure they will still turn out to be productive members of society.

agreed...


I have no problem with texting. It's way easier and faster than talking on the phone which I freaking hate. My DD's theater teacher would even send out mass texts to the kids on what time rehearsals were. Can you imagine if he had to call each student? They could always have done a phone tree, but messages get jumbled that way. He could send one text and be done with it.

I think it's so funny when parents talk about things that they will NEVER let their children do....Never say never when it comes to kids...

 

[LisaR]

Plus "sexting"..... plus, I firmly belive it inhibits quality social growth... I don't expect everybody to agree with me, but since my wife and I are on the same page, I don't see us changing our minds.

I saw it first hand in Florida a few weeks back. I won't re-tell the whole story, but we brought our next door neighbor kids to WDW. Generally well behaved kids who always do what I ask them to do, and always respectful to my wife and I ( at home )... In FL, I actually had to take the one girl's phone away from her at night because she kept calling her BF at 2 AM, and then didn't want to get out of bed in the AM.

Plus, all day long she was texting... at WDW, at Universal.... I called her mother to ask if I could completely take her phone away because of this. Her mother said "Do whatever you need to".

So, I kept it in my pocket, and when she got calls I gave it to her. But then I took it back as soon as the call was over.

But why do you assume your teen girls would behave that way? My teen has NEVER, EVER done any texting at dinner, on vacation or while sitting with friends or adults having a conversation. She uses it as a means of communicating with friends. It isn't a 24/7 thing. It gets turned off at 10pm every night. What you experienced on vacation was the fault of the parent letting the kid do that at home. I highly doubt these kids never abused texting at home and just suddenly started when they went away with you.

Again, your kids; your decision. I am simply stating that you seem to be basing bad behavior that some teens engage in as punishment for your future teens. Not every kid engages in sexting, 14,000 messages a month or texting at inappropriate times. Deciding when your kids are 8 that they will never have texting based on the behavior of some kids now seems odd.

 

[momx2]

Oh Papa, if I had a dollar for every time I said "my kids wil never...." Good luck with that!

 

[Papa Deuce]

Oh Papa, if I had a dollar for every time I said "my kids wil never...." Good luck with that!

Oh, I get that... But if you have followed my DIS "career", you would know that when it comes to raising my kids I almost always fall on the side of being hard nosed. And in life in general, I rarely change my mind on anything - for better or worse.

So far, so good!

 

[shortbun]

While I agree that your 8yo daughters do not need texting, let me say that most children do not text to excess. My son and his friends all have texting. I got unlimited for TTL$10 on all four of our phones, not bad. I told my son that I'd be keeping an eye on his texting-not threatening, just 'make sure you are not texting instead of having fun, doing homework....' My son has about 400 texts a month which represents maybe one texting conversation a day. He rarely uses his phone for vocal conversation and he rarely IMs or emails, not even daily for the other three. He's busy, active, healthy and happy. He pretty much follows the rules-14yo- and btw, he just got texting last summer when he became a teen. His one friend who texts a lot is left at home, alone, bored, sedintary, isolated. Keep your kids busy and let the texting craze pass them by before you get them texting-let their friends burn out on it-that's what I did.

eta: just read your post about being proud of being inflexible as a parent so I deleted this part. As another poster said, 'good luck with that.'

 

[Disneyadore]

We have a saying in my country.
Standing still is going back.

Translated: If you try to hold the past in your hands the future will escape.
Kids will have to live in this future. We cant hold them back from these things and neither can we stop the development of who knows what for great new inventions.

As for myself. I like Internet and if we all would hold on to the past we never would have this great opportunity to get the whole world at home in a little box called computer.

 

[mjkacmom]

point taken, but you don't know "me"..... If you did, you would know that I won't be caving in to pressure....

That's fine, but you won't be the one suffering the consequences - your dd's will. I can't tell you how much my opinions on subjects like this have changed after 5 children. Thank goodness! I remember thinking my children would never have email accounts! BTW, texting for teens is like email for adults. My DH is a soccer coach. All information regarding practices, games, tournaments, fundraisers, cancellations, etc., is done via email. He's not calling parents. If a parent doesn't have email, he/she doesn't get the information. Of course, he's never encountered a parent without email, in this day and age. Dd13 doesn't know anyone without texting, and in 5 years, I can't imagine your dds' wil know anyone without texting. Middle school is ROUGH, a rite of passage, to be navigaged very carefully. Please don't make it any harder on your children.

 

[golfgal]

That's fine, but you won't be the one suffering the consequences - your dd's will. I can't tell you how much my opinions on subjects like this have changed after 5 children. Thank goodness! I remember thinking my children would never have email accounts! BTW, texting for teens is like email for adults. My DH is a soccer coach. All information regarding practices, games, tournaments, fundraisers, cancellations, etc., is done via email. He's not calling parents. If a parent doesn't have email, he/she doesn't get the information. Of course, he's never encountered a parent without email, in this day and age. Dd13 doesn't know anyone without texting, and in 5 years, I can't imagine your dds' wil know anyone without texting. Middle school is ROUGH, a rite of passage, to be navigaged very carefully. Please don't make it any harder on your children.

I agree. When I was coaching DS's basketball team I told the parents that any changes to the schedule, etc. would be conveyed through e-mail. I didn't have TIME to call everyone. Of course there are a couple parents that never get the message because they don't check their e-mail. Too bad I guess. Same with DD's golf team. The girls would go to the indoor driving range all winter to practice. It was all arranged through text messages. One girl never gave anyone her phone number and never got the information. Papa, do YOU have time to make 25 phone calls to get all the information out?

 

[shortbun]

That's fine, but you won't be the one suffering the consequences - your dd's will. I can't tell you how much my opinions on subjects like this have changed after 5 children. Thank goodness! I remember thinking my children would never have email accounts! BTW, texting for teens is like email for adults. My DH is a soccer coach. All information regarding practices, games, tournaments, fundraisers, cancellations, etc., is done via email. He's not calling parents. If a parent doesn't have email, he/she doesn't get the information. Of course, he's never encountered a parent without email, in this day and age. Dd13 doesn't know anyone without texting, and in 5 years, I can't imagine your dds' wil know anyone without texting. Middle school is ROUGH, a rite of passage, to be navigaged very carefully. Please don't make it any harder on your children.

How loud am I allowed to say "AMEN" around here? lol!
The other thing parents with rigid rules need to know is this: your children become the sneaky ones, the ones who are forced to lie to save face or be creative to fit in and not in a good way. My son already has one friend who's parents have backed him into a corner so he lies about where he's going and why routinely so his mother allows him to go. It's not even moral or dangerous stuff she's forcing him to lie about. I've told him not to involve me in his lies because I don't condone it but I also understand it....kwim?

 

[MichelleVW]

That's fine, but you won't be the one suffering the consequences - your dd's will. I can't tell you how much my opinions on subjects like this have changed after 5 children. Thank goodness! I remember thinking my children would never have email accounts! BTW, texting for teens is like email for adults. My DH is a soccer coach. All information regarding practices, games, tournaments, fundraisers, cancellations, etc., is done via email. He's not calling parents. If a parent doesn't have email, he/she doesn't get the information. Of course, he's never encountered a parent without email, in this day and age. Dd13 doesn't know anyone without texting, and in 5 years, I can't imagine your dds' wil know anyone without texting. Middle school is ROUGH, a rite of passage, to be navigaged very carefully. Please don't make it any harder on your children.

When I was in school we passed notes in class and talked on the phone all the time at home about absolutely nothing. Kids these days text...it's no different and can be a very valuable tool for parents getting in touch with their kids.

When my girls are out I can just send them a simple "ETA" text and within minutes I know when they will be home. If they are at school and I need to tell them something, I just send them a text and they will check it at lunch or after school. Way easier than calling the office and hoping they get the message.

Yes, we used to manage without cell phones and texting, but we also did without cars and indoor plumbing and I don't want to go back to those days either.

 

[BelleWDW]

I'll make another prediction. By the time your twins are teenagers-5 years, the technology will advance so far that Texting is passe and some other thing will the "in Thing"

Back 8-9 years ago-My kids went from wanting a BEEPER- to occasionally borrowing our ONE family cell phone.

Cell phones taking pics and texting wasnt invented yet

 

[monkey68]

I'll make another prediction. By the time your twins are teenagers-5 years, the technology will advance so far that Texting is passe and some other thing will the "in Thing"

Back 8-9 years ago-My kids went from wanting a BEEPER- to occasionally borrowing our ONE family cell phone.

Cell phones taking pics and texting wasnt invented yet

the beeper!! How could I forget the beeper! I wanted one so badly when I was in middle school! Finally my parents caved and got my sister and I beepers. I remember mine was neon green, all flourescent, I thought it was the coolest thing on earth. Then it turned out nobody was paging me, so I just wore it as more of a fashion accessory

And I still remember my first cell phone. It had no color, only made phone calls, no camera on it. It worked fine for me. I got it before I started college. Then, when the color phones came out, I thought it was the most amazing thing. Recently, I had to get a new phone, and the guy was asking me what I want my phone to do. Apparently, just wanting it to make phone calls and the occasional text is not enough.

 

[golfgal]

When I was in school we passed notes in class and talked on the phone all the time at home about absolutely nothing. Kids these days text...it's no different and can be a very valuable tool for parents getting in touch with their kids.

When my girls are out I can just send them a simple "ETA" text and within minutes I know when they will be home. If they are at school and I need to tell them something, I just send them a text and they will check it at lunch or after school. Way easier than calling the office and hoping they get the message.

Yes, we used to manage without cell phones and texting, but we also did without cars and indoor plumbing and I don't want to go back to those days either.

I asked DD14 if kids still passed notes in class, she looked at me like I had 2 heads. I had to explain what I meant and she said why would we do that??

 

[MichelleVW]

I asked DD14 if kids still passed notes in class, she looked at me like I had 2 heads. I had to explain what I meant and she said why would we do that??

omg...that's too funny!

 

[mhsjax]

Oh, I get that... But if you have followed my DIS "career", you would know that when it comes to raising my kids I almost always fall on the side of being hard nosed. And in life in general, I rarely change my mind on anything - for better or worse.

So far, so good!

so then why did you start this thread, just to act holier than thou?, I guess my kid is bad because he does text sometimes, never at dinner, never out with us, he doesn't even carry his phone to dinner with us, or have it with him at the table, his grammar is fine, but he cant' spell but neither can his genius IQ father, so I don't think texting caused that. If you don't want your kids to text fine, but don't come on here and act like you are better than everyone else because you won't allow your kids to, You are starting to sound like a little kid, like I won't change my mind just to prove a point, If you had no intention of letting your child text, then I think you came here just to start trouble.

 

[BelleWDW]

I asked DD14 if kids still passed notes in class, she looked at me like I had 2 heads. I had to explain what I meant and she said why would we do that??

See? THAT was the "Texting" of the older generation

 

[LisaR]

See? THAT was the "Texting" of the older generation

As much as I hate "text speak" I have to wonder why our generation wasn't smart enough to come up with all those abbreviations? I hated sitting in class writing out full notes to classmates. Talk about time consuming.

 

[Papa Deuce]

so then why did you start this thread, just to act holier than thou?, I guess my kid is bad because he does text sometimes, never at dinner, never out with us, he doesn't even carry his phone to dinner with us, or have it with him at the table, his grammar is fine, but he cant' spell but neither can his genius IQ father, so I don't think texting caused that. If you don't want your kids to text fine, but don't come on here and act like you are better than everyone else because you won't allow your kids to, You are starting to sound like a little kid, like I won't change my mind just to prove a point, If you had no intention of letting your child text, then I think you came here just to start trouble.

LOL.... I am not holier than thou. And I don't post to start trouble. CUL8R.

 

[onelilspark]

It amazes me to see how far things have come since I was in HS...SIX years ago! I got my first cell phone when I was 16, when I learned to drive. So that if my car were to break down, or I was in an accident, I could call home. I had so many friends who didn't have a cell phone at all. I didn't have texting. Hardly anyone did. I mean, I could text, but I maybe sent & received 10/month, so there was no need to get unlimited.

For the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone under legal driving age needs a cell phone. (Unless they're in after school activities and pay phones are now obsolete?!) I rarely used that cell phone when I was a teen.

To be honest, as far as texting goes...even today, it annoys me. How many times I would meet a guy, give him my number and he would text me?! Ugh. Be a man, give me a call. My boyfriend now is not a text-er. I love it. After our first date, he called me. IMO, that's how it should be.

Lord help my future children because if I can help it, they won't have a cell phone until they need one. And I don't care what Johnny or Susie down the street have. I didn't need one, they don't.


P.S. Sorry for my mini-rant. Apparently I have a problem with cell phones and texting Who knew?