My buddy doesn't ( didn't? ) understand why I won't let my kids have text messaging.

[Papa Deuce]

Here is a prime example. ( BTW, my kids share one phone that is only allowed to be used in an emergency so far - they are only 8. And there are only about 5 - 7 numbers programmed in, and they can only call those numbers ).....

OK, so my buddy and I go round and round about texting. He thinks I will cave in when my kids are old enough to text. I will not, and, as of today, maybe he will understand why:

His kids were away at camp the last month. They had their phones with them.

Child #1 --- 14,800 texts in that month ( age 13 ) almost 530 tests a day!!!!

Child #2 --- 9,650 texts in that month ( age 10 ) 344 texts a day , based on 28 days of camp.

I called his house today and his wife told me about this. She never wanted her kids to text either. She was, and is, concerned about "sexting" more than anything else, though. No worries about cost as they have unlimited texting.... Seems to me like the kids were trying to see if that was indeed true!

I'll see him on Sunday. I wonder if he will have changed his mind.

 

[Jsme]

A child of the age 8 does not need to have text messaging.

 

[penguin087]

14,800!?!?! They must have been doing nothing but texting all day everyday. Doubt they got much out of camp. That was a waste of money.
My DS (15) has texting and uses it. Not anywhere near 14000 a month but he does use it. I use it too. I was one of the last parents to cave in and get the texting unblocked for his phone. He hasn't given me a reason to regret it yet.

 

[Belle Ella]

WOW. I am a person who cannot stand texting at all - no matter what age. It drives me crazy, absolutely up the wall. But really, what does a kid need to be sending that many texts for anyways?! It's gotten way past ridiculous if you ask me.

 

[Papa Deuce]

A child of the age 8 does not need to have text messaging.

Huh? Nobody said they did.... and my buddy meant when my kids get to be to be 10, like his younger one.

 

[kidzmom3]

that is excessive texting. the camp or parents should have put a stop to it a lot sooner. All 3 of my kids have texting, They love it. I keep in touch with them even more than if they were to call. they can leave me a text when i am at work, I take a quick peek during my break and its all good. that said my two girls were away at overnight camp and they didn't even take their phones. The camp doesn't allow electronics.

Every parent needs to decide for themselves. Also, a text is sometimes one work. I can't tell you how many times my kids have texted me the words :

OK
Love you
see you later
sounds good

 

[suejai]

I held out until DSS was 15 and DS was 12. DSS is a texting fiend and runs into the thousands in a month. I'm always shocked at how many texts I send and receive in a month as well. One thing I have noticed is that a great many of the texts sent are just reponses like "K" and "yup", so it is quite easy to run up several hundred texts a day.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It is handy for the teens. I can just text my 18yodd and know that I am going to get a response.

And heck forget about "sexting". My dd's new computer for college has Skype.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I held out until DSS was 15 and DS was 12. DSS is a texting fiend and runs into the thousands in a month. I'm always shocked at how many texts I send and receive in a month as well. One thing I have noticed is that a great many of the texts sent are just reponses like "K" and "yup", so it is quite easy to run up several hundred texts a day.

That means your life is being interrupted an awful lot.

 

[debster812]

I think, like with most other parenting decisions, it's rarely a good thing to say "never". Your kids, your choices, of course, but I absolutely love the fact that DS has texting available on his phone.

He got his 1st cellphone when he turned 12 (not as young as 8) in June, and we got him a 200 texts a month plan. This is a little low, as he uses it for friends, and with me. We don't hold him responsible for the texts that he and I send back and forth, and so far, he has not gone over his limit while texting his friends. If he sticks to that for 6 months, we'll bump him up to 500, if he sticks to that for an additional 6 months, when he turns 13, he'll get unlimited.

It's all about setting limits, letting your kids know what the expectations are, and holding them responsible, and having consequences when they don't follow the limits, rather than out and out forbidding.

But like I said, your kids, your rules, your choices. We all need to raise our kids the best we see fit.

 

[Papa Deuce]

It is handy for the teens. I can just text my 18yodd and know that I am going to get a response.

And heck forget about "sexting". My dd's new computer for college has Skype.

Well, if she is in college, that would make her an adult... so not as much you can do about it.

 

[kidzmom3]

That means your life is being interrupted an awful lot.

Its no more interrupting your life than when your child calls you to talk about plans etc... especially if you are having a texting conversation.

keeping in touch with your kids, knowing the plans, keeping up to date. These are not interruptions and this is my life because they are my life.

 

[suejai]

That means your life is being interrupted an awful lot.

Oh sorry I think I was a little unclear there. It is my DSS that sends hundreds of texts in a day, not me. Actually it isn't that bad, it just takes a second to flip open the phone and read those short texts. But, yes sometimes it can get annoying, especially since I find it hard to not answer when it rings. Overall though, I find it a useful method of communication.

But I do agree with you not allowing your 8 year olds to use it.

 

[Camicar]

Not all kids have no self control.

Some kids are absolutely out of control. My dd has seen kids sit at a lunch room table and no one is talking to each other because... they are texting each other. She thinks it's hysterically stupid.

My dd gets 90 texts per day and sends maybe 30 texts per day, depending upon how busy she is. I would say most of her friends are similar. They have also created a 'group rule' that there is no texting in front of others -- that if you are with a person, you pay attentoin to that person, not your phone. (How many adults manage to show that much civility these days?)

We have found texting to be very helpul. In one case, she was at a birthday party that went bad (parents were there but totally oblivious to the nightmare unfolding around them) and dd was easily able to text me to come and get her whereas there was no way for her to make that call verbally. Thanks to texting, I was able to extricate her from a scary situation. So I'm glad she had the texting.

I think the rules should be based upon your actual kid's actual behavior, rather than on assumptions about behavior that may not be true.

 

[racetrack18kb]

DD didn't get her first cell phone until she enter middle school/6th grade. It was only a very basic plan at the time but we added unlimited texting after the first marking period in 7th grade. She loved it...maybe a little too much. Her grades suffered somewhat so we put a limit on the texting. Weekends only until grades came up. They did and she has been much better about the amount of texting she does now.

Besides, I just look at texting as the same as when I was a teen and on the phone forever. Our conversations were really never more than "really?!" "no way!" "are you sure?" Nothing spectacular but we just had to talk. Only now, kids are doing it in a different way.

 

[Papa Deuce]

DD didn't get her first cell phone until she enter middle school/6th grade. It was only a very basic plan at the time but we added unlimited texting after the first marking period in 7th grade. She loved it...maybe a little too much. Her grades suffered somewhat so we put a limit on the texting. Weekends only until grades came up. They did and she has been much better about the amount of texting she does now.

Besides, I just look at texting as the same as when I was a teen and on the phone forever. Our conversations were really never more than "really?!" "no way!" "are you sure?" Nothing spectacular but we just had to talk. Only now, kids are doing it in a different way.

OK, ready to get slammed here, but maybe it is a girl thing. I don't know many guys who truly enjoy talking on the phone - if any. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. I hate instant messaging ( don't even have it ).....

But I don't see ANY REASON by anybody for 14,800 texts in a month... 528 a day to be exact. And my buddy, I am sure, never would have thought that his daughters would have done this.

 

[racetrack18kb]

Not going to slam you for that. In most cases, I'm sure it was a girl thing. I had a few good girlfriends that I could talk to for hours on the phone without really saying anything at all. Talking on the phone now, well, I'll skip it.

I do agree that those amounts of texts are outrageous. But I also suspect that once the novelty (unlimited texting plan) wears off, those numbers will drop.

 

[ameraumi]

If they are looking at the bill online then the total number will show incoming and outgoing. I about had a fit when I thought DS was texting that much until I really looked at the breakdown. Yeah, 8000 a month outgoing is still a lot but better than the 14,000 I thought he was doing! And most of them are not wordy texts, maybe one or two words.

 

[princess momma]

My 7 1/2 year old doesn't even know what texting is. I don't see that changing anytime soon.

I don't really think 8 year olds need phones either, but that's just me.

 

[Momvic5]

My oldest is 13yrs old, and he doesn't text. He doesn't even have his own phone yet. He uses my cell phone if he is going to be in a situation where he may need one, but texting is not part of our phone plan. There was a point when he wanted one so on his 13th b-day, we did consider getting him a phone with texting, but after careful thought, he decided on something else. Both my Dh and I were quietly relieved. Our plans are to avoid texting as long as we can, but ..... our DD10 and DS8 may have other ideas....