My brother may have HIV.

[Briar__Rose]

Mods, please feel free to move this thread if it is not in the right location. I wasn't quite sure where to place it.

These past few months, my brother has been complaining of ongoing skin rashes, sore throats, swollen glands, body aches, fever, and white spots forming on his tongue, among other things that cannot be said. He has been reluctant to see a doctor for quite some time in fear of what they could have revealed. Well, earlier this week, he finally gained the courage to do so, and his blood was drawn for testing. The results are not yet in, but I am terribly worried for him. What if he has HIV? Reports say HIV can go undetected for years due to its lack of visible symptoms, so could it be possible, if in fact he did have HIV, that the virus has progressed into a higher stage of the disease?

Now, normally, I wouldn't jump to conclusions or self-diagnose, but the fact that he has engaged in many unsafe, promiscuous acts in his past calls more attention to this matter. This isn't the first time he has expressed anxiety. It also concerns me that my brother is truly convinced he has HIV. He lives in California, whereas his family, including myself, lives on the eastern coast. He is a rather lonely, reserved person without any friends, and I feel horrible to see him going through this agonizing emotional and physical pain by himself. It's tearing my heart strings to hear him repeatedly say over the phone, "I don't want to die." I cannot stand the thought of losing him from this illness, which could very likely develop into AIDS. Despite that, I constantly worry what he may do without anyone there to stop him if the results come back positive.

Sorry for the long read, but I guess I am just needing some emotional support myself. I have been trying to do more research on this disease when I am not calming my brother, so any help is greatly and deeply appreciated. Thanks in advance!

 

[Rootskate]

I don't have any medical advice, just wanted to say that I am sorry you and your family are going through this. I know how awful it is to be consumed with worry over a family members health.

 

[Quinn222]

If he does have HIV it's not always a death sentence any more. It can be more like a life long chronic illness. The drugs that they have now can often keep the virus well in check. Sometimes at diagnosis a person is so devastated that they don't really hear the positive things that the Dr. may be conveying to them. If your brother does get a positive diagnosis encourage him to see a good specialist and perhaps a support group would help since he has a limited group of friends and family nearby.

Saying a prayer for him.

 

[Christine]

Well, hopefully this is something else but, even if it is HIV, chances are he is going to be okay. If he listens to his doctors, takes good care of himself, and keeps on top of the medications, he can have a long comfortable life. I know that the HIV diagnosis is as terrifying as getting the "cancer" diagnosis, but they are making great strides with HIV.

Please keep us posted.

 

[Pop Daddy]

dont get to worked up until you fet the resust, and praying for good ones

 

[SandraVB79]

First of all: you are not sure yet it is HIV. It can be something completely different!

In case it is HIV (which you don't know yet): today, they can keep it "under control". It's not automatically a death sentence anymore.

 

[Grumpy's Wife]

I hope everything works out for your brother.

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

ongoing skin rashes, sore throats, swollen glands, body aches, fever, and white spots forming on his tongue,

Please don't get too stressed out until you get a diagnosis. The symptoms you listed here could be any number of things including many autoimmune diseases. Heck, with the exception of the white spots, you have listed many of the symptom's of DW MeanLaureen's illness.

I do realize how hard the "what ifs" are though. I know we went through them with Lauri with doctors talking about anything from Leukemia to Rheumatic Heart and it was a scary time.

 

[CEDmom]

I hope it's not but if it is there are so many treatment options. I pray all works out for your family.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way because I'm sure you're upset about this as I'd be in your position. However, do you think it's a good idea to come on here and speculate about his condition? Especially given what it may be. Right or wrong there is still a lot of stigma attached to HIV.

 

[NewJersey]

I just said a prayer for your brother and your family. I hope everything turns out okay and it's not HIV. It must be so scary for you, your brother, and family. Like others have said, HIV is alot more "treatable" nowadays than prior years. Keep us posted and you're in my prayers.

 

[minkydog]

Hugs to you both. As Obi-Wan pointed out, your brother's symptoms may not be HIV at all, but some other illness. My DH had exactly the same symptoms,and his doctor thought he had HIV or lymphoma or TB or lung cancer Turned out to be an auto-immune disorder which has turned out to be chronic, rather than deadly.

Encourage your brother to carry through with testing. Even if it is HIV, it's treatable. There was a time when HIV truly was a death sentence, but not any more. Look at Magic Johnson--he's had AIDS for over 10 yrs and he still plays basketball! And if it's not HIV your brother certainly needs treatment of some sort.

Is there any way someone from the family can go out there to be with him for a week or so?

 

[ADisneygirl]

I hope your brother is ok.

 

[ohiominnie]

Prayers and good wishes for your brother.

Be thankful that he's sharing this all with you. He's calling with his concerns and talking about his feelings.

My brother is such a private person and he never wants to "bother" anyone that we never hear BOO about what's going on with him other than superficial crap that doesn't really matter. And if we ask too many questions then we are "prying."

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Hugs to you and your brother!

It is good that he has decided to be tested, and it is good that he is talking to you about it! IF the diagnosis is HIV/AIDS he can still do many, many things to make sure he has a shot at surviving long term. If he doesn't drink, smoke, or do drugs he will have an easier time staying healthy. If he eats well and exercises then he will be even better off. If he goes to the doctor regularly and adheres to his medication schedule he could live a pretty normal, healthy life for years to come. I am sure his doctor can refer him to a support group (or individual counselor if he prefers) to help him adjust to the diagnosis. He can look in the yellow pages under "social services" or even call the main number for the CDC and they can refer him to services in his area. If he does have HIV the sooner he can get started on managing his illness the better!

I have friends who have been HIV+ for nearly 15 years and they are very healthy. They adhere to an extremely strict dosing schedule for meds, but other than that they go about their lives like everybody else. I hope the best for your brother! Let us know what he finds out!

 

[Laurajean1014]

and to you and your brother. Let us know what the results are.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

Best wishes. Please keep us updated and let him know that there's a lot of peeople parying and thinking of him.

 

[LukenDC]

As others have said, HIV is not the death sentence that it once was. Getting tested is the first step, followed by closely adhering to a treatment regimen. If your brother is indeed HIV+ and does not have much of a support network, then he should look into support groups for HIV+ people.

If your brother does have HIV, then you should do some research to learn more about the disease and to allay some of your concerns.

I wish both of you the very best.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I hope your brother is OK..If he is HIVpositve it does not mean he can't ahev many many more healthy years of life..There are at least 3 long term survivors on this board, including me..I passed the 15 year mark this year and aside of a couple of bliips ,I have been very healthy..If he is postive,UI would encourage you and your brother to read my web-page and see that it is very possible to live with AIDS and have a very full life.

Here is my page
http://www.geocities.com/jennymominri/MyPage.html

 

[JennyMominRI]

I hope it's not but if it is there are so many treatment options. I pray all works out for your family.

I hope you don't take this the wrong way because I'm sure you're upset about this as I'd be in your position. However, do you think it's a good idea to come on here and speculate about his condition? Especially given what it may be. Right or wrong there is still a lot of stigma attached to HIV.

The thing is, That stigma will never go away unless people talk about it.Personally I refused to be made to feel ashamed to have it. To feel like a Victim or to be quiet...I do understand why some do,and have chosen to in cases where my kids may be involved

 

[JennyMominRI]

any more. Look at Magic Johnson--he's had AIDS for over 10 yrs and he still plays basketball! o?

It's closer to 15 years now