My boss says I have poor social skills at work

[1rockinmamato2]

The best thing my boss does for me everyday is come around each morning to ask me how the weekend went/how the kids are/what's going on in my life. It makes me feel appreciated, not only as an employee, but as a person which makes me better at my job.

The same goes with my co-workers. We have formed a bond over the years. We have all laughed together and cried together. I like knowing about my co-workers and their lives outside of work because I consider them all to be my friends. We may not always socialize outside of work, but while we're there, we get along and have fun together.

 

[Missy1961]

The best thing my boss does for me everyday is come around each morning to ask me how the weekend went/how the kids are/what's going on in my life. It makes me feel appreciated, not only as an employee, but as a person which makes me better at my job.

The same goes with my co-workers. We have formed a bond over the years. We have all laughed together and cried together. I like knowing about my co-workers and their lives outside of work because I consider them all to be my friends. We may not always socialize outside of work, but while we're there, we get along and have fun together.

I had a boss like that--you're right, it really was nice to have a non-business related discussion with a boss.

And I feel the same way about my co-workers. I have a candy bowl near my desk, people stop by to grab a piece or 2 & we'll have a conversation. Nice way to break up the day.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Are you sure they meant "bubbly"? and not ****ly?

I'm usually good at figuring out the filter stuff, but this must be an off day. That went WAY over my head.

 

[Octoberbride03]

That statement probably says it all.

And for the record, I do think that it's important to have a few minutes of social chit chat with co-workers each day, it's what helps to bolster teamwork and a sense of community at the workplace.

Anne

I agree. I don't see how you can be around other ppl at your job and not interact with them socially a bit. My job has me on solitary tasks quite a bit of the time, and I still do a fair bit of talking with my teammates, both job related and socially. It just makes the day go by a little more fun, and we still get our work done.

 

[poor-social-skills]

OK, I see where people are coming from and the advantages of being friendly at work. Everyone on this board seems to agree that some non work conversation with your fellow employees is an important part of being a professional.

My next question is why is there so little chit chat in most offices today? If everyone agreed that social talk was important, then that idea has not made it into the real world. Especially since the Internet, I see very little non work related visiting at most places I have been at int the last ten years.

 

[ducklite]

OK, I see where people are coming from and the advantages of being friendly at work. Everyone on this board seems to agree that some non work conversation with your fellow employees is an important part of being a professional.

My next question is why is there so little chit chat in most offices today? If everyone agreed that social talk was important, then that idea has not made it into the real world. Especially since the Internet, I see very little talking of a non work related basis at most places I have been at int the last ten years.

Instant messaging. Same thing, different delivery method.

Anne

 

[wvjules]

There's always chit-chat here.

 

[mickeyboat]

We also have some chit chat here, and up until about a month ago, I was the only woman working here. Talk about the weather, talk about what you did over the weekend. Most importantly, ask other people about their lives, plans, projects and families.

 

[Amapola]

My next question is why is there so little chit chat in most offices today? If everyone agreed that social talk was important, then that idea has not made it into the real world. Especially since the Internet, I see very little non work related visiting at most places I have been at int the last ten years.

This rang a bell with me... so off to Google I went

Do you chit chat with co workers, about non work related topics, at the office?
Where I work the amount of socializing is way down since the good old days in the 1980s and 1990s. Here is what I have noticed at the office today.

Company picnics and other activities are rarely successful anymore. Few people sign up.

More people have their lunch at their desk and take fewer breaks all due to shorter staffing, more pressure and following the lead of other employees.

Very little chit chat among coworkers anymore. When things do get quiet people are more likely to just go to a Internet message board, like I am doing now, and/or instant message their friends, instead of actually chatting face to face with coworkers.

More office politics and conflict in the office because people try to get their problems solved by email messages (memo wars) instead of sitting down with their coworkers and talking things through. Because people do not really talk much in offices anymore, they are more likely to not know each other and get in conflicts.

More turnover because people view their workplace differently with no real personal connections and they feel no personal/emotional link to the job, the people, or the company.

It is all pretty scary in the workplace today.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1191537&referrerid=93883

Welcome back, Goodtype, Conversationalist... I forget all your names.

 

[Chilehead Too]

I think it is very important to have social interaction with co workers. I certainly do not want to know the intimate details of all of their lives, nor do I burden them with mine. However, little surface pleasantries are fine.

 

[RitaZ.]

Welcome back, Goodtype, Conversationalist... I forget all your names.

 

[Tinkerbell_Girl]

This rang a bell with me... so off to Google I went


http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1191537&referrerid=93883

Welcome back, Goodtype, Conversationalist... I forget all your names.

That's exactly what I thought!

 

[Missy1961]

This rang a bell with me... so off to Google I went


http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1191537&referrerid=93883

Welcome back, Goodtype, Conversationalist... I forget all your names.

I wondered when someone would make the connection.

 

[Fitswimmer]

I'm not much of a socializer at work. I don't go to work to socialize. Sure, I'm pleasant enough when someone stops by, but I'd rather they kept their stories about their mother in law, their kids, their house or whatever to themselves. I'm just not that interested in the minute by minute details of everyone's life and I don't assume they would be that interested in mine.

As for social events with the group-fine, if it's during work hours. I work 2 jobs, take courses online and study piano, so I have a lot going outside of work. When I have any free time from all that, I want to spend it with family and friends-not the same people I spend 40 some hours a week with. It's not that I don't like them, it's just a matter of priorities.

 

[momof2inPA]

I'm not sure if "poor social skills" is a correctable problem. You either get along with people or you don't. What's the harm in throwing out a little, "How are the kids?" or "Wow, it's freezing today," while practicing some active listening, though? It should only take a few minutes.

 

[The GREEK!]

I understand you!Im really shy!

 

[DISUNC]

I am one who dont think "social skills" should be mentioned on a review! Unless that is a job requirement....and the better the skills the better the payola!

I am a very social person, and I had one boss tell me the same thing. My coworkers loved me, my customers adored me. My boss ...not so much. He was a snake in the grass, and was more jealous then anything else. His 'social skills' were sexually harrassing all the woman in the office.

Take it from where it comes!

 

[Glenn]

Did your boss give you examples why he thinks your not social enough? Maybe complaining all the time, not saying good morning & other small things. Or was he really vague about it. I have seen this complaint used as an excuse to lower reviews or even to get rid of people. Don't argue with your boss in a review, debate, counter the negatives, ask for examples of what he's talking about, argueing only gives him a reason to get rid of you or pay less and that might just be his goal.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I fought and fought with him about the issue

I'm always saying this - and always slapped down by the DIS - but if you want to get raises and not get fired and have a good work life, you probably shouldn't fight with your boss. It just isn't smart.

I don't know that social skills are essential to do your work, but they help in general. People who like you are much more willing to do something that they don't *have* to do to help you out. And it just makes everything more pleasant.

You don't go tattling on people or complaining about them to your boss, do you? Most bosses don't enjoy that. Shy and quiet is OK, most people have no problem with that. Persnickety is another thing. Not everyone is social and I don't think you should try to be something you aren't. So long are you are nice and smile and aren't rude or all nitpicky, I don't see the problem.

If I were you, I'd go to the boss and tell him that you've been mulling over what he said and that you think he might have a point. Apologize for fighting. Ask him if he has an example of something you could do to improve. Then work on it. If he sees you trying to improve, it'll go a long way.

 

[Pam]

This rang a bell with me... so off to Google I went


http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1191537&referrerid=93883

Welcome back, Goodtype, Conversationalist... I forget all your names.

That's exactly what I thought!

I wondered when someone would make the connection.

As soon as I saw the title of the thread the first thought that popped into my head was, "Sweet mother of pearl - "it's" back!