My biggest parenting meltdown.

[JerseyJanice]

You know, I don't think this is the first thread I've seen by the OP where he asks people to share their worst parenting moments.

Makes me wonder if he's trying to get someone here to admit to doing something. Who or what I don't know, but I am curious.

 

[Wall-E1]

Most here seem to think this situation is funny. I see it as the teen having very little respect for his dad. Wonder why that is? Could it be the 'parenting style' is IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE until you snap?

When the snowball situation happened, I was beyond angry, but even I can see the humor in that incident. I wish I hadn't been on the receiving end and he was a butt for doing what he did, but it was funny - not that I would let him know that.

I also wonder why all of a sudden he seems to have no respect for me. It's like something clicked in his head when he entered high school. I attribute it to the fact that he is a teenager and "knows everything". I remember when I was his age and felt the same way about my parents. I don't think it's especially unusual to have a disrespectful teen. Maybe my circle of friends is unusual, but they are all going through similar issues with their teenage snowflakes.

Right now my parenting style is very hands on, although from time to time I have considered the "IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE" method that you have suggested. I don't think that would be an effective way to raise him. It's just not my style. I'm sure that even with all my parenting mistakes, one day we'll look back at this time and laugh about it together - if I let him live past his teenage years.

 

[PoppyGirl]

I'm not interested in judgments. I know I am neither a good parent or good person. I am just curious if anyone else would like to share their parenting meltdowns. If so, this is the place.

No judgement here, just an observation. You have some really terrible kids. At the age they are, it is probably to late to correct them. Just some more problems for the rest of us to deal with. Thanks.[/QUOTE]

Ouch! Hasn't every kid (or every person for that matter) at some point acted in a way that did not display their best character? I know I have. My kids have at times, but they are overall great kids. Occasionally every kid has a bad moment. That doesn't make them terrible kids. Good grief. Even the worst kids have redeeming qualities--sometimes it just takes longer to find them.

I have two stepsons who are 26 and 22. There were times when they were teens that I wondered if we had a couple of sociopaths....but they have turned out to be pretty cool young men and now we have a great relationship with both of them. I'm glad I didn't give in to believing that it was "probably too late to correct them." We just continued loving them and doing our best.

 

[iwrbnd]

When the snowball situation happened, I was beyond angry, but even I can see the humor in that incident. I wish I hadn't been on the receiving end and he was a butt for doing what he did, but it was funny - not that I would let him know that.

I also wonder why all of a sudden he seems to have no respect for me. It's like something clicked in his head when he entered high school. I attribute it to the fact that he is a teenager and "knows everything". I remember when I was his age and felt the same way about my parents. I don't think it's especially unusual to have a disrespectful teen. Maybe my circle of friends is unusual, but they are all going through similar issues with their teenage snowflakes.

Right now my parenting style is very hands on, although from time to time I have considered the "IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE" method that you have suggested. I don't think that would be an effective way to raise him. It's just not my style. I'm sure that even with all my parenting mistakes, one day we'll look back at this time and laugh about it together - if I let him live past his teenage years.

I swear my son woke up on his 14th birthday a different kid! He was always so sweet and respectful and then!!! I just kept reminding myself that the frontal lobe of his brain wasn't done developing yet! And I would remind him of it, too!

We just kept loving him with cosistant discipline and he finally came around! It took 2 long years, though!

 

[Aisling]

I'm not interested in judgments. I know I am neither a good parent or good person. I am just curious if anyone else would like to share their parenting meltdowns. If so, this is the place.

No judgement here, just an observation. You have some really terrible kids. At the age they are, it is probably to late to correct them. Just some more problems for the rest of us to deal with. Thanks.[/QUOTE]


I'm sorry, this really made me laugh. I'm getting a mental image of Miss Gulch!

 

[iwrbnd]

I know when I'm having trouble with my teen I feel better when I talk to my friends and they tell me their teen troubles! Does misery like company? Maybe but I think we just need to know we're not alone and other teens do the same things. I think it's therapeutic for parents to talk and support each other without judgement.

 

[Aisling]

"That dog's a menace to the community. I'm taking him to the Sheriff and make sure he's destroyed"

 

[Wall-E1]

No judgement here, just an observation. You have some really terrible kids. At the age they are, it is probably to late to correct them. Just some more problems for the rest of us to deal with. Thanks.

I don't think any of the people on this thread that have shared their stories have terrible kids. That's a very strange statement to make about people that you have never met.

More than that, your assumption that these kids will be "just some more problems for the rest of us to deal with" is especially ignorant. You don't know any of our children, or their histories. Take for example my child. I adopted him out of foster care when he was eight. He was physically abused before entering foster care, and then mistreated while in foster care. Not withstanding his current defiant and disrespectful behavior, he is currently flourishing under my care. He earned his way into a highly competitive magnet high school. He is a kind and compassionate person, and amazingly enough, is able to form friendships and bonds with other people, even after his terrible past. I guess one could say that I have taken on this "terrible kid" so that he doesn't become "problems for the rest of us to deal with".

So, take pride in that wonderful post that you made. You should feel very big attacking other people's kids.

 

[IDoDis]

OP, sounds like you have your hands full. I believe you posted a different story a few months ago about your DS, as well. He definitely knows how to push your buttons. When you get upset like that, its teen = 1, dad = 0.

Now having said that I would probably have done the same thing, although I may not have stopped to pick him up when he started chasing after the car.

Vacations are expensive. If my kids weren't appreciating their vacations, I wouldn't take them on one for a long time. They come to expect things handed to them on a silver platter and take things for granted. After 20 or times visiting WDW, plus other vacations, your DS obviously doesn't realize how hard you are working to give him a fun childhood. If he's going to be a brat, then no trips for a long time -- until he comes out of his cocoon. That's just me and what I'd do. Why waste the money if you are just going to be disrespected?

BTW, I have an almost 14 year old who is pushing the limits, so I am there with ya. I'm not judging. I may be in your shoes very soon.

 

[Pastamom]

I'm guessing that ALL parents have had moments that they couldn't believe was happening to them. I could list about a 100.

As DH says, before kids, I used to see a child screaming in a store and think "why can't they control their kid?" Now he thinks - been there done that.

Remember smart creative kids challenge authority - at least that's what I keep hearing...

 

[Wall-E1]

OP, sounds like you have your hands full. I believe you posted a different story a few months ago about your DS, as well. He definitely knows how to push your buttons. When you get upset like that, its teen = 1, dad = 0.

Now having said that I would probably have done the same thing, although I may not have stopped to pick him up when he started chasing after the car.

Vacations are expensive. If my kids weren't appreciating their vacations, I wouldn't take them on one for a long time. They come to expect things handed to them on a silver platter and take things for granted. After 20 or times visiting WDW, plus other vacations, your DS obviously doesn't realize how hard you are working to give him a fun childhood. If he's going to be a brat, then no trips for a long time -- until he comes out of his cocoon. That's just me and what I'd do. Why waste the money if you are just going to be disrespected?

BTW, I have an almost 14 year old who is pushing the limits, so I am there with ya. I'm not judging. I may be in your shoes very soon.

I agree with you. I actually left him back from our last Disney trip in January. I was so annoyed with his school performance that I left him down here with some friends to watch him and went up with another friend, instead of him. I do see your point. I think I may have given him too much, too fast when he first arrived here. I was a new parent and had just taken custody of a child who had an awful past. So, I made the mistake of sort of spoiling him too much early on. Now, it's coming back to bite me a little bit.

I will say that besides that one meltdown I had on our California trip, we did have a pretty good time on the rest of our vacation. Lately we have been going at it nonstop over school and rules. It was nice to get away and just bond with him without having all the other stuff to deal with.

 

[Wall-E1]

You know, I don't think this is the first thread I've seen by the OP where he asks people to share their worst parenting moments.

Makes me wonder if he's trying to get someone here to admit to doing something. Who or what I don't know, but I am curious.

Perhaps you should be contributing to either the conspiracy or paranoia threads that are currently on the community boards.

A few months ago, I had an "Epic Bad Parenting Thread" where I shared my parenting mistakes and other posters shared theirs. I started that thread because I was getting so tired of posters getting attacked by others when recounting parenting stories on these boards. So, that thread was started as a place where all of us bad parents could stand together and proudly show off our bad parenting skills without fear of attack by other judgmental posters.

So no, I'm not trying to get anyone to "admit to doing something". And I started this thread when I realized the humor in the recent incident that occurred. I found it amusing and chose to share it with others. I don't think it's so unusual for parents to share amusing stories about their "terrible" teens.

I think you are reading a little too much into what was intended to be a light hearted thread. Hope that satisfies your curiosity.

 

[cheermom1]

Nice to see you WALLE, Sorry you are have so much trouble with your teen. I totally understand as I have a 17 and 16 yr. old myself. just hang in there

 

[cheermom1]

Perhaps you should be contributing to either the conspiracy or paranoia threads that are currently on the community boards.

A few months ago, I had an "Epic Bad Parenting Thread" where I shared my parenting mistakes and other posters shared theirs. I started that thread because I was getting so tired of posters getting attacked by others when recounting parenting stories on these boards. So, that thread was started as a place where all of us bad parents could stand together and proudly show off our bad parenting skills without fear of attack by other judgmental posters.

So no, I'm not trying to get anyone to "admit to doing something". And I started this thread when I realized the humor in the recent incident that occurred. I found it amusing and chose to share it with others. I don't think it's so unusual for parents to share amusing stories about their "terrible" teens.

I think you are reading a little too much into what was intended to be a light hearted thread. Hope that satisfies your curiosity.

I agree, why do we have to take everything so seriously? Not everyone is perfect nor have the perfect kid or family or is it that they just say they are perfect or have the perfect kid or family. uummmm

 

[tinkerbell_xo]

No judgement here, just an observation. You have some really terrible kids. At the age they are, it is probably to late to correct them. Just some more problems for the rest of us to deal with. Thanks.

Sounds to me like this guy is a pretty good parent so I wouldn't worry too much about having to ever deal with his son.
The kid was just pushing his dad's buttons, as were all the other kids that were mentioned. They're teens, it's gonna happen, daily, for at least a couple years. No one involved is terrible. The teens will most likely grow up and mature and become respectable adults.
Don't you worry about a thing darlin'. C'est la vie.

Most here seem to think this situation is funny. I see it as the teen having very little respect for his dad. Wonder why that is? Could it be the 'parenting style' is IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE until you snap?

I don't think someone with the parenting style to "ignore, ignore, ignore" would go away for a super hands on, week long, one on one vacation with their teen.
And by rolling down the window numerous times asking him what was up proves he wasn't ignoring anyone. I personally would have sat there and continued talking on the phone or drove away, THAT'S how you ignore.

Just sayin'.

 

[iwrbnd]

I've had these same thoughts on the same day about my kids... "I have the best kids in the world" and "Every one of my kids are heading for prison!"

Parenting is full of ups and downs and we can't judge a parent or child on one snapshot of time!

 

[marcyinPA]

And my favorite line is,
Kid - "I hate you!"
me - "Good, then I'm doing my job!"



That's so funny, I tell my DD the same thing.

I also tell her my sole reason for being put on this earth is to make her life a living he!!

My DS14 told me I ruined his life yesterday. I responded "Well, at least I'm doing something right"....

You can read all about my issues in the "14 is the hardest age" thread...

 

[ksumn1]

I have to say that even the best behaved children can turn into an absolute alien in the teenage years. I was always a well behaved child, straight A's, polite, well mannered not interested in boys...and when I hit 15, I turned into a raging terror!

Nothing my parents did or didn't do influenced the change. One day I thought they were great, awesome parents and the next day they were the dumbest people on the planet, put there simply to ruin my fun and make my life HE**.

I yelled, screamed, argued, snuck out of the house, you name it...I DID it!! And one day, when I was 19, my fiancee had moved away and I moved back in with my parents, I began to realize that maybe, just maybe, they had been right and I had been wrong. Then, at 20, I had my 1st dd, it all made sense to me.

So to make snarky comments about people's horrible children, and how it's their parents fault make me say WTH?? and . you don't know, Wall E, or his child, nor me or my child, much less the other posters or their children. As a whole, we seem to be caring and responsible but you know, none of us are perfect. And sometimes you just get exasperated and fed up and lose it. THAT's what these stories are about. And if you don't want to commiserate with us, then why don't you just go find another thread where you can celebrate your perfect parenting skills, and leave us "horrible" parents alone?

 

[hookedondizney]

I was enjoying this thread reading all of the stories about kids/teenagers....I have tons of stories and my son is only 7yrs old! He has ADD and has been very challenging since day ONE!!!!! Not the hyperactive part though......just focusing and listening!

But, I knew.....some where along the way.....someone would wanna jump in and bash everyone for telling their stories.....WHY? Just read it and MOVE ON-yes I said MOVE ON.......

Did you always cry over the "Spilled Milk" or what?

 

[cheermom1]

WELL while we are all sharing my dd will be 17 this month and my son will be 16 in June. My dd told me last month I love ds more than her and stomped off to her room, WHY? b/c I was planning my ds 16th b-day party. Never mind that I went all out for her 16th or that I spend way more on hers than I am on his, never mind that he will have fewer guests and it will be at our home not some where that I have to pay for like hers.

She was mad b/c she wants a HUGE party for her 17th as well even though it has always been known that 16 bdays get more and that is the only one. I am planning her a bin fire and bbq per her request. But since I need more time to plan ds's b/c it is a little more involved she got mad.

Needless to say I am ruining her bday on purpose and I hate her and want her to have the crappiest bday ever.

Dear my precious dd,

Life does NOT revolve around just you! Just b/c you are having a smaller party then your brother (for once in his life) doesn't mean you are not loved. It just means it is HIS turn!!! And no I don't hate you when I choose to spend time with one of the other kids or plan something or buy something for the other kids, it just means you are not an only child. On top of that NO you may not move out and live my your uncle b/c you think I'm not being fair!