My 7 year old started a fire last night...

[Mermaid02]

...dh and I are at our wits end. He was on the deck with my dd (14) and 2 or her friends. I guess he decided he wanted to light our tiki torches, only he took them apart and laid the soaked wick on a coffee can and lit it.

Today there are no matches or lighters in this house. We just don't know what to do with him anymore. He has an anxiety disorder, adhd and I really think more problems.

I'm really scared for him.

 

[Keli]

You may already be doing this but my first thought was to try to get your son in counseling. Some children are just more difficult to raise than others and because your ds has some issues (I'm referring to his anxiety disorder and adhd) I'm sure he's one of the more difficult ones. Difficult children often turn into creative, talented adults if you can get their energy and focus going in the right direction.

 

[winniedapooh]

As someone else said therapy if he is not in already. There are also fire setters programs that some agenices have. Your therapist can help you with that as well.

 

[RitaZ.]

Olga, did your DS tell you why he did it? Contact your local fire department and ask them about fire prevention programs for children. He is young, so he may not really understand the danger of playing with matches and starting a fire.

Hang in there.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

Why did your 14 year old daughter let him?

 

[Mermaid02]

He has been in counseling, I think we need a new counselor though. The one he has seen is totally charmed by him.

My 14 year old didn't "let" him ..... obviously He is very quick- he had one of those long lighters like you start a gas grill with- so there was no struggling to get it lit.

Thanks for the thoughts everyone... if anyone thinks of any other suggestions, please post!

 

[Jeanny]

Originally posted by Mermaid02
: He is very quick- he had one of those long lighters like you start a gas grill with- so there was no struggling to get it lit.

could he show me how to work those darn things?? I have a hard time with mine.

 

[phillybeth]

Sometimes the old-time remedies work. I'll tell you what my aunt did to my cousin when he was about your son's age and had a fascination with matches, lighters, candles, etc.
She got two boxes of the old-fashioned kitchen matches, the strike-on-box kind. She then sat down with my cousin and said that she knew he liked matches and fire, so he could light ALL these matches- the only thing was he had to light all of them and with her sitting right there. Of course he was thrilled! Until about halfway through the first box when he got tired and it wasn't fun anymore. But my aunt made him continue until he had lit all the matches in both boxes, one at a time- let it burn down, then lit another one. After that lighting matches wan't fun anymore and he never lit another one. Didn't touch lighters or anything for YEARS afterwards.