My 4 year old won't eat!!

[reelmom]

Both of my DS's are picky eaters. DS4 more than DS5(who now is starting to eat more foods and is finally gaining weight. 44 pounds at almost 6 years old.) DS4 weighs about 34 pounds. As per their pediatrician, they still drink whole chocolate milk and whole fat cheeses, etc. The doctor told me that they will eat when they are hungry. As long as they are active and pooping, they are getting enough for their bodies. However, no matter what any doctors or people tell you, when you are going through it, it is hard. Hope it gets better for you.

 

[Jordans_Mommie]

My DS5 will not eat either. I have tried everything and it is a HUGE source of stress for the whole family. The more people I talk to, the more I think alot of boys are this way. I have never talked to any mom's that have girls that act like this. I am just so jealous, that most of my friends kids actually eat what they make for dinner. I mean the whole family eats the same thing. Amazing concept! Our family doctor tells me not to worry..that he will eat when he is hungry. Although this rarely happens. My guy of course will eat treats of any kind but nothing much else. He is a vegetarian. Will not eat any meat. He does not like anything with a soft or slimy texture either. Wouldn't even eat baby food. And no veggies. Fruits I can get him to eat, if I work at it.

This is exactly my son and he is 3! He will not touch meat/chicken/fish of any kind. The only veggie he will eat is sweet potatoes, corn and sometimes he will eat mashed potatoes. His pediatrician says not to worry because he is good weight wise, but geez how much peanut butter and jelly and mac and cheese can one child eat?! I do give him a vitamin everyday and I give him the juices with the vegetables mixed in, but I still worry.

I am glad to see that I am not the only one with a "non-eater"

 

[JackJack08]

This is exactly my son and he is 3! He will not touch meat/chicken/fish of any kind. The only veggie he will eat is sweet potatoes, corn and sometimes he will eat mashed potatoes. His pediatrician says not to worry because he is good weight wise, but geez how much peanut butter and jelly and mac and cheese can one child eat?! I do give him a vitamin everyday and I give him the juices with the vegetables mixed in, but I still worry.

I am glad to see that I am not the only one with a "non-eater"

I guess we are not alone! But it is sooo frustrating. I hope that one day we will look back, when they are 6'2" and 200lbs and laugh, about the things we used to do, to get them to eat!

 

[alicenwonder99]

I haven't read the other replies yet.

My ds7 has had eating issues his whole life. I've mentioned it to his pediatrician since he was about 9 months old (and still not eating solids). Long story short, his ped just blew it off saying some kids take longer to eat. Well, fast forward to 2007 and with a new ped, my ds was diagnosed with a screwed up esophagus. Throughout 2007 and the beginning of 2008, he has had 7 surgeries, and had a feeding tube placed.

Good news, looks like his esophagus is fully repaired, and his feeding tube came out a few days ago!! YEAH!

Anyway, I'm sure your child doesn't have this extensive problem. But what caught my eye is you say your child "pouches" his food. That is DEFINITELY a sign that something isn't right. I'm not saying your child has a physical problem (like my ds), but he isn't chewing the proper way.

There are speech pathologists that specialize in chewing and swallowinig. They will do a swallow study on your child to make sure he is chewing and swallowing properly. They will come up with a plan for you to follow.

Your first stop should be the local school district. Call the school and ask to speak to the Speech Therapist. Tell the S.T. your concerns and ask if she/he can assist you, or if he/she can recommend a S.P. who specializes in chewing & swallowing.

If you have a local children's hospital, they should also have a feeding clinic there. You could call and ask there.

Or, you can call the Pediatric Gastroent. that you saw and ask them if they can recommend a Speech Team for you.

Good luck. I know how hard this can be. And if for any reason your child needs to get a feeding tube placed, please send me a PM. I can help you get adjusted to it.

Oh, and another thing. Right now you need to get WEIGHT on your child. Throw out all your ideas of healthy eating. I know this is hard to do, but you are to just worry about calories right now. I even had to stop giving my ds water and start giving him juice boxes and soda! I stopped giving him veggies because there just isn't enough calories in those. Every bite my ds takes it high in calories. I can easily get 2000 calories in my ds now with just a few bites here and there. PM if you need any high calorie ideas. There are also powders you can buy that add calories to food.

HTH

 

[Matt'nMeg'sMom]

Our pedi said that per meal each child should have a bite for each year of age plus one to grow on. For our then 4yo that meant 5 bites.

We were told the same thing (Well, we were told 1 tablespoon per year of life... but that's about the same thing.)

My kids both went through a "hunger strike" phase around 3-4 yrs old. I ignored it. I provided one healthy meal for the whole family, and put an appropriate amount of food in front of the kids.

They could sit and stare at it for 8 hours if they liked. If they opted not to eat it, fine. I simply wouldn't make anything else. We never argued about it.

The pediatrician assured me they wouldn't die, and they didn't. They learned very quickly, so that phase was mercifully short-lived.

 

[katie111]

I just wanted to thank everyone so much for their replies. Although I wish no one else was in this same position, it helps to hear that I am not alone. Just to address a couple of questions/issues that people brought up.

My Dr has also suggested the high calorie diet. This doesn't mean a lot of junk, I just try to bulk up whatever he is eating to get more calories, i.e. more butter on his pasta. I also add Duocal, a calorie supplement, to his food & pediasure. He is also on periactin which is supposed to be an appetite stimulant. We've had mild success with it.

He doesn't eat a lot of junk, because he doesn't eat a lot, period. He doesn't really like most cookies, cakes, brownies, chips, or candy. He loves to help me bake & will have a couple of bites of batter but has no interest in the finished product. If we go to the grocery store & he can pick a treat, he usually picks either gum or sticky candy, like Starbursts. He likes chocolate but has no real desire for it. He just truly seems to have no appetite for anything.

He has had his glands checked and they were normal, but thanks for the suggestion. The esophagus thing is very interesting. I'm definitely going to call the school system for a reference, that is a great idea that I had never heard.

All of your suggestions about mealtimes were helpful. I feel like we've tried most of them over the past year & nothing has worked. I've tried feeding him on the go...I've tried having everyone sit down at the same time for a nice quiet meal...I've tried letting him watch TV during dinner...I've tried having him help me cook...everything seems to have the same outcome, very little food goes into him. Feeding him on he go as he runs around is sometimes just the least stressful as I feel like it takes away the control issues.

Someone asked if he eats better in certain situations. He does actually eat much better at restaurants. He eats a lot quicker and usually consumes more than at home. I don't know why this is but I do take him out to eat quite a bit just for that reason.

I know some people think its just a phase & hopefully it is but its hard to see him with his clothes off & he's looks like he's just skin & bones. I also feel like he has a tough time socially as other kids think he is a lot younger than he is. He often approaches kids at the playground & oftentimes they'll call him a baby...it's just heartbreaking. I purposely put him in a mixed age preschool this year just so he wouldn't be the smallest one in the class. He also doesn't seem to have a ton of energy which concerns me as well.

Over the past couple days, I've started to cut back on his Pediasure to try to see if that's filling him up. So far, it doesn't seem to be making a difference, he's still not eating much but I'm going to try it for at least a week to see if it makes a difference.

Again, thank you to everyone for your advice and support, I REALLY appreciate it. If anyone else has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

 

[bear_mom]

We were told the same thing (Well, we were told 1 tablespoon per year of life... but that's about the same thing.)

My kids both went through a "hunger strike" phase around 3-4 yrs old. I ignored it. I provided one healthy meal for the whole family, and put an appropriate amount of food in front of the kids.

They could sit and stare at it for 8 hours if they liked. If they opted not to eat it, fine. I simply wouldn't make anything else. We never argued about it.

The pediatrician assured me they wouldn't die, and they didn't. They learned very quickly, so that phase was mercifully short-lived.

This is us too, only it wasn't short lived - it lasted about 7 years, the first 7 years of dds life. SHe is now 8 1/2 and eats what I would consider to be a normal amount (she will now finish a happy meal). I never made a big deal about not eating. I made dinner and if she ate, she ate if she didn't, she didn't. I always made sure there was at least one thing on her plate that she would eat and that was the extent I went.

BTW, she is now 8 1/2 and still only weighs 44 pounds.

Emily