Mother son trip or let Nana come?

[momma2ethan]

Back story. I surprised my son with a WDW trip in August 2015 for his 8th birthday. It took 16 months of saving and secret keeping to make it happen and during that time my mom asked if she could go. Having never been to WDW myself I said yes, figuring the extra set of hands and eyes would be helpful and that it would be a great opportunity for the three of us to create special memories together.

I did all the planning. ALL of it. With little to no input from Nana. It was MY trip and I was letting her tag along. I did keep her preferences in mind while making ADRs, FP+, etc but DS was my priority, not a grown 52yo woman.

Fast forward to the actual trip. It went OK. We had a lot of fun and made some great memories that will always be cherished but honestly, she slowed us down. We ended up changing most of our CS plans because she didn't want to eat here or there, she whined like a cranky toddler every evening about her feet hurting, we cut most, if not all, of our days short and missed seeing every fireworks show because she was tired. blah blah blah. It just wasn't how I expected her to act/react in the happiest place on earth.

We truly DID have a lot of fun having her with us and having a second adult lowered my overall costs because we shared a room.

DS and I took another trip in August 2016, just the 2 of us. BB w/free QSDP. It was amazing. We ate where we wanted, rode what we wanted (over and over and over again), went exploring deep into the WS, rope drop to park close multiple times, and even had an unplanned rest day just hanging out in our room when Hermine was blowing through. We didn't have anyone slowing us down when we felt like touring hardcore and a 5 minute rest here and there was perfect. I feel like we got to experience so much more when it was just the two of us.

This year we are booked again to go in August. Currently our reservation is just the 2 of us for 7 nights at Pop, 6 day park hoppers (I may end up adding a day to our ticket while we are down there) with free QSDP. DS wants to do all four parks in one day at least once. He actually wanted to attempt it every day and I had to back him away from that crazy ledge.

My mom wants to come with us again and I'm not sure how I feel about it. She liked DDP, DS and I prefer not taking up touring time with TS meals. If we just add her to our reservation as-is it would bring down the cost to $778 per person, saving me $325. If we add her and upgrade to the DDP we'd be looking at $925 per person, saving me $33 but would have the upgraded dining. The savings would in reality be zero and would actually end up costing me a little more because of TS tips.

I'm torn. The three of us did have fun together on our first trip and I'm sure we'd have fun together again but she just doesn't tour the way we prefer. I just don't know what to decide but I know I need to make a decision soon because our 180 days is only a month away and if we are going to upgrade to DDP I need to get my ADR game plan together. HELP!

 

[ErinsMommy]

she slowed us down. We ended up changing most of our CS plans because she didn't want to eat here or there, she whined like a cranky toddler every evening about her feet hurting, we cut most, if not all, of our days short and missed seeing every fireworks show because she was tired. blah blah blah. It just wasn't how I expected her to act/react in the happiest place on earth.

Based on this, I would say leave Nana home.

 

[MrsACT1]

Honestly, with how things went the first time.....I would probably say leave her home. With the money you spend, I would want do the vacation my way. She will probably not keep up and would end up either alone back at the room or ruining some of your plans.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

I would leave her home this time, but maybe plan a shorter trip with her in the future.

 

[momma2ethan]

I also want to add that originally she was going to tag along on my sister's July 2015 Disneyland trip to help out since they had a 5yo and 6 month old at the time, then she scrapped that and came with us instead.

We are in the baby planning stage of a big family trip for 2020. It will be Nana, me, 12/13yo DS, my sister, BIL, 9/10yo niece and 5yo nephew. To either Disneyland or WDW. Destination is not set yet as sis is leaning toward DL because it would be to celebrate her DS's 5th birthday and that's where they celebrated her DD's 5th but I'm pushing heavily for WDW because it's WDW. Either way, I foresee me ending up being the one to do most, if not all, of the planning for that trip. I don't think they quite realize just how much work trip planning can be, especially for a group of 7 people.

 

[cvjw]

Why can't Nana join you when she wants to and go back to the hotel when she doesn't? There is no reason you and your son can't stay out by yourselves to watch fireworks. I personally would want my son to have those memories with his Nana. I would also put forth the expectations upfront though. If she gets tired, she goes to the room to rest by herself.

 

[momma2ethan]

I would leave her home this time, but maybe plan a shorter trip with her in the future.

shorter trips are not really financially smart for us because we live in WA and flights are pricey to FL. Longer trips just make more sense especially with me being a single mom.

 

[tobikaye]

I would suggest that if your mom goes with you, then maybe plan time where you split up. She could meet you at the park later in the morning or take a midday break or even head back to the resort early. Even if she does not want to go back to the resort, she could find relaxing things to do at the parks. As for the hurt feet, reminder of that and suggest she start walking and getting ready for the trip.


As for the meals, I have yet to purchase a dining plan as I do not eat the way it is set up so I would probably not go with the dining plan. You could compromise a bit and do a few TS meals that might fit into your schedule. Maybe a TS meal the day you arrive. Then maybe a pre-opening breakfast, such as Garden Grill or Akershus, where you could then get a jump on an attraction you might not FP. That way on longer days, you could do 3 QS instead of 2 if you wanted.

 

[iivye]

Bring Nana. Even though you had some irritations the first time I think you will remember the time you three spend together fondly when Nana is no longer around. I imagine she really wants to go and I would not hurt my parent's feelings by telling them no even if they slowed me down.

 

[Lynzer4]

So here is my thought...

Nana won't be around forever and those are memories you both will have with her forever. It seems that you have now been a few times and plan to go back so you could combine your touring style with hers and have a fun trip. I would tell her what and how you like to tour the parks and let her know that you plan to see the fireworks and stay out later at night. Tell her that she is always welcome to come but you know from previous trips that she prefers to go back to the hotel and you are okay with that. As it is August maybe plan to hit the hotel mid afternoon a few times so everyone can rest and then go to dinner and hit a park as the sun goes down (which makes it much nicer to be in the park).

If you have a good plan you can hit everything you want to ride, do a TS and tour at a pace that allows you to enjoy Disney.

So I will say that by the time the kids I took were 11 a few days of sleeping in was a WIN! So those days she might be able to stay out later if she has a later start.

For a trip 5+ days eating at a few TS gives you options and time to take a break and enjoy what happened that day. We almost always have a TS meal each night of our trips and every evening we talk about our favorite things that day. Plan a few nights were you have a TS meal. I won't do the dinning plan thought. I would just pick 3 TS places that you all would enjoy and pay out of pocket.

I would figure the cost of what and where you want to eat and see if having the meal plan is the best discount. My family doesn't eat like the DDP and after we did it everyone agreed that it was nice to not have to worry about paying per say but often time didn't eat dessert and came home with snacks because we did use those credits. The better deal for us might of been the room discount.

 

[brockash]

Back story. I surprised my son with a WDW trip in August 2015 for his 8th birthday. It took 16 months of saving and secret keeping to make it happen and during that time my mom asked if she could go. Having never been to WDW myself I said yes, figuring the extra set of hands and eyes would be helpful and that it would be a great opportunity for the three of us to create special memories together.

I did all the planning. ALL of it. With little to no input from Nana. It was MY trip and I was letting her tag along. I did keep her preferences in mind while making ADRs, FP+, etc but DS was my priority, not a grown 52yo woman.

Fast forward to the actual trip. It went OK. We had a lot of fun and made some great memories that will always be cherished but honestly, she slowed us down. We ended up changing most of our CS plans because she didn't want to eat here or there, she whined like a cranky toddler every evening about her feet hurting, we cut most, if not all, of our days short and missed seeing every fireworks show because she was tired. blah blah blah. It just wasn't how I expected her to act/react in the happiest place on earth.

We truly DID have a lot of fun having her with us and having a second adult lowered my overall costs because we shared a room.

DS and I took another trip in August 2016, just the 2 of us. BB w/free QSDP. It was amazing. We ate where we wanted, rode what we wanted (over and over and over again), went exploring deep into the WS, rope drop to park close multiple times, and even had an unplanned rest day just hanging out in our room when Hermine was blowing through. We didn't have anyone slowing us down when we felt like touring hardcore and a 5 minute rest here and there was perfect. I feel like we got to experience so much more when it was just the two of us.

This year we are booked again to go in August. Currently our reservation is just the 2 of us for 7 nights at Pop, 6 day park hoppers (I may end up adding a day to our ticket while we are down there) with free QSDP. DS wants to do all four parks in one day at least once. He actually wanted to attempt it every day and I had to back him away from that crazy ledge.

My mom wants to come with us again and I'm not sure how I feel about it. She liked DDP, DS and I prefer not taking up touring time with TS meals. If we just add her to our reservation as-is it would bring down the cost to $778 per person, saving me $325. If we add her and upgrade to the DDP we'd be looking at $925 per person, saving me $33 but would have the upgraded dining. The savings would in reality be zero and would actually end up costing me a little more because of TS tips.

I'm torn. The three of us did have fun together on our first trip and I'm sure we'd have fun together again but she just doesn't tour the way we prefer. I just don't know what to decide but I know I need to make a decision soon because our 180 days is only a month away and if we are going to upgrade to DDP I need to get my ADR game plan together. HELP!

I mean, it sounds like you don't want her to go, so I'd probably go with leaving her at home. Would it be possible for her to go, but kinda come/go as she pleased...so at night when she was tired could she go back to the resort by herself? If that's not a possibility, then it sounds like you'd be happier if she didn't go.

 

[Karin1984]

I would leave her home. You had a trip on which you made memories and a family trip coming up. Go for a mother-son trip. If she does come along, talk to her about her toddler-behaviour and suggest splitting up when she is tired and that when it comes to dinner, she can't always have her way.

Think more about what you want instead of pleasing other people. This is your vacation too.

 

[bumbershoot]

DS was my priority, not a grown 52yo woman.

She's in her young 50s? Why on earth didn't she just go back to the hotel when she was tired? Why didn't you let her or suggest it to her? It's not like she's 88.

At first I thought you were talking about your *grandmother* since you're calling her "Nana". I had to reread. She's your mom. She's your son's Nana.

If you can work it out ahead of time, let her come with the expectation that if she's tired, she goes back to the room. Seriously, she's not that much older than me, and I have a 12 year old. In 5 years I'm quite sure I'll be able to find my way back to a room if I get tired on a trip. If she were YOUR grandma my answer might be different. But she's a young person still to be a grandmother.

I can't say she'll be around forever; my mom died suddenly at 55, after all. But even with that experience I see no point in you inviting someone you can't be honest with ("if you're tired, go to the room") or don't even want on your trip.

 

[RachaelA]

I would leave her at home especially since you already went once and you are planning another family trip with her and others.

Kids grow up so fast so make the memories with him now while you can.

 

[Bomahog]

You live in such a beautiful part of the United States. When you are able, why not try to plan a trip to say the Oregon coast or Mt Hood with Nana and son. Together time, memory time and a whole lot less walking and expense. My secret hope is that your next Walt Disney World trip will be for just you and your boy.

 

[KittyKitty]

I would let her know your plans ahead of time, 4parks 1day, fireworks, CS's you want to go to. Also remind her about her feet hurting and is she ok going back to the resort on her own. Letting her know what your plans are may change her mind about going.

 

[David Brent]

she whined like a cranky toddler every evening about her feet hurting, we cut most, if not all, of our days short and missed seeing every fireworks show because she was tired. blah blah blah. It just wasn't how I expected her to act/react in the happiest place on earth.

Wow. Nana is so lucky to have such a great daughter.

 

[clutter]

Ok, for those of you saying that Nana's not going to be around forever, she's 52!! (Or 54 now.) Unless she's in terrible health, she should still be around to go with OP's grandkids.

OP, I'm a single mom myself. DD and I took many trips to Disney (APs and DVC) as it was a great place to vacation for just the two of us. It got us that needed break from getting through work, commute, school, bills. It gave us some wonderful play time together. We laughed, played shadowtag, had the kind of fun that it's tough to have at home. Given that you all are doing a big family trip in the future, I'd go with your son. Honestly, he needs the memories with you more than he needs them with Nana. And if she says something, just tell her that. That you need some play time with your son.

 

[jsbowl16]

For us, we will only go on a vacation with people who have a similar idea of what they want to do, what time they want to tour and in a similar financial situation. We have found that if our vacation styles are too different than no matter how open minded everyone is, someone gets mad because they missed something, dont want to pay for table service meals, dont want to get up early, etc. I dont invite myself on other peoples vacations so I dont appreciate other people inviting themselves on mine. I also dont want to miss out on things like dining experiences because someone in our party cant afford it. Maybe I am being a little insensitive but I would rather tell them these things upfront before our vacation gets ruined due to others outside my immediate family.

 

[familyfirsttimer]

As someone who would give anything to have one more day (or hour or minute) with my mom who passed suddenly in her 50's, I say you take her along!!!!!!!! Sounds like you have different styles so just have that open conversation and coming up with a list of what you both want to do(including your son's wishes) and what a good compromise would be. i.e. $parks in 1 day, maybe she goes to the first park and then bus to Disney Springs or back to hotel. I imagine she'd want some downtime too. Personally this sounds really cold to me, my girls never got to go to Disney with their Nana, I'd see 1 attraction a day and eat popcorn all day if I had the chance to take her along