Mother-In-Laws(and future MIL's): What Do You Want To Be Called?

[Saphire]

My son has a lovely girlfriend and I don't know if I should tell her to call me by my first name or just be 'Mrs. __". What do you prefer to be called? And what about when you you become a mother-in-law, do you want to be called by your first name or Mrs.?

Although I call my MIL "Mom"(which is fine with me) I would never ask a future daughter-in-law to call me that, because I know too many women who are uncomfortable with it and end up not addressing their MIL by anything at all. I want to have a name, lol.

When kids are in their teens I prefer to be addressed as Mrs., but this young lady is 20 and I am just not sure what to tell her. What do you think?

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I would tell her to call me by my name. I think that would make it easier on the future DIL to know what I want to be called, and I don't want to be "Mrs." through our relationship. It would be more formal than I like.

 

[CraftyMouse]

I would probably tell her that I am perfectly comfortable with her calling me by my first name but that I would leave it up to her. Some younger people are not comfortable calling an older adult by their first name and others have no problem with it. Just let her know what you are comfortable with and let her take it from there.

 

[Andrea]

I have always called my mother in law by her first name. Now some of my sisters in law through marriage will call her mom, but i dont feel comfortable doing that doing. I have been married for almost 10 years now

 

[lowie]

i remember a girl i knew was dating a guy for years and it was clear that they would get married. the guy had a rediculously long name, and it didn't roll of the tongue, if you know what i mean. but the girl called her Mrs. so and so etc etc etc...

one day i asked her why she didn't call the lady by her first name, the lady wasn't prim and proper AT ALL and would actually want to be called by her first name. she didn't feel comfortable with it, so i asked her what she would call her if she married the guy. her exact response, "i'll call her mrs. soandso until i have a baby, then i'll call her grandma"

i call my MIL by her first name, except with the kids, then she is grandma.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I've been married 24 years and have never called my MIL or FIL anything to their faces for that very reason. Altho, DH and I finally decided that I'd call them by their first names. (We see them maybe twice a year.) I just couldn't bring myself to call them mom and dad. Before marriage, they were Mr and Mrs ______. It's hard to switch to anything! So, I'd just tell any future DIL or SILs to call me MaryAnn, but I wouldn't mind "mom" either if they decide to do so at some point.

My DH, strangely enough, calls my mom "Ma" and called my dad by his first name. That's what he felt comfortable with, and my parents were fine with that too. I think my mom does feel especially honored tho that he calls her "Ma". We joke that he's her favorite kid.

 

[J&J]

ask her what she would feel comftable with. my daughter in law calls me nothing o mean she never calls me by any name. rahter she would call me mom that I would love it.

 

[magicgirl]

My son-in-law calls my DH and I by our first names. We encouraged him to use our names when we first met him as a teenager.

 

[Lovin' Lorne]

If I have to call them anything to get their attention, I use their first names. Other than that, I just wait until they look in my direction to start talking.

Weird? You bet. But it's been almost 15 years since hubby and I got together, he's the same way with my parents, and I doubt it'll change anytime soon.

 

[Tuffcookie]

My DDIL calls me mom.

TC

 

[diznygirl]

I waited for my MIL to tell me what she wanted to be called - I'm old-fashioned that way. When she never brought anything up, I just talked to her without calling her anything. When I have to, I've decided to use her first name. She could have welcomed me to the family by requesting I call her "mom" but she didn't.

I expect my future DIL/SIL will call me by my first name, since that is what all my kids friends call me now.

 

[disykat]

First name. I can't even imagine continuing to call someone Mrs. when you are related to them! I don't remember my inlaws ever telling me what to call them, I just took it upon myself to call them what every other adult in the family who wasn't their child called them. Maybe it helped that I was older when I met them and they weren't any older than many of my coworkers and friends in the community.

I would never call my MIL "mom" and will not be inviting any future DIL to call me mom. It doesn't mean I won't be welcoming them into the family.

 

[Lovin' Lorne]

I would never call my MIL "mom".

Me either. I get along great with my MIL, but I have one Mom and it's not her. Personally, I am rubbed the wrong way when I hear in-laws using Mom and Dad.

 

[ilisao]

I prefer people to call me by my first name - both my children's friends and when I eventually become a MIL.

 

[powellrj]

My DDIL calls me by my first name. I have been married to my DH for 30 years and never called my in-laws anything. They have since died and I still refer to them as DHs DM and DF. I should add that they also never called me by my right name. They always called me by a nickname that I hated, so that kind of described our relationship.

 

[agentpleakley]

You know what -- DH and I have been married for over 13 years -- I've never heard him call my mom anything other than Memom (and that was only after our 1st born started calling her that)

 

[mickeyfan1]

If I have had a DIL, she can call me Your Majesty.

I don't call my MIL anything, DH calls my mother by her first name, which creeps me out. I don't know why, but it does.

 

[Abbie]

Wow, I had no idea I was in such a minority! I've called my MIL "Mom" since before we were married (more than 30 yrs. ago), and my husband has always called my mother "Mom". My 19 yr. old DD's boyfriend calls me "Mom" and they've only been dating a year! My 22 yr. old DD's boyfriend has always kind of hemmed and hawed over what to call us....he mostly settles on "Mr. and Mrs." but just last week he tentatively tried out "Mom".

I just can't imagine it being any different. Then again, I love my MIL to death!

 

[Barbossa]

DW and I call our in-laws "Mom" and "Dad". My BIL calls my Mom by her first name and it bugs her to no end. The bottom line, IMHO, is what the MIL herself wants to be called.

Of course, let's cut to the chase. All MIL's want to be addressed as "Your Highness".

 

[Nancyg56]

My DDIL calls me Nan. I'm fine with that and so is she. Everyone usually uses Nancy so I like it. When I married the first time my IL's wanted me to call them Mom and Dad but I could not, my parents were alive. They never let me know it was okay to use their names, just kept insisting that I call them Mom and Dad. so I did not call them anything until the kids were born and then I referred to them as Meme and Gramps. Now I call her by her name.