More backyard drama...

[SundaeAfternoon]

I would guess this breakdown has a lot to do with the age of the posters and the way in which they grew up. I am older. I grew up in a small town in Iowa. No one thought anything about kids playing in each other's yards. It was such a small town. We roamed the town and played where ever we found a bunch of kids and had sufficient room for our games. One of our favorite games was to throw a ball over the roof of a house and then the person who caught it would attempt to tag the kids on the other side. If you were in the house, it was incredibly loud. None of the parents seemed to mind. We'd move from house to a different house each time we played so we wouldn't bother one set of parents over and over. Today, people would say that we were rude and disrespectful. That was not the case at all. The parents knew us and had no problem with how we played. If they did, we have a problem, we'd stop. We were actually very respectful of others.

I wanted to respond to the bolded parts of your post. I grew up in California, and our neighborhood was very similar to what you've described. There were a lot of kids in the neighborhood, and all of the families knew each other. In fact, we'd go on yearly neighborhood camping trips. I miss those days. With that being said, we were always in the yards of someone's kid in the group. That's very different from going into a complete stranger's yard who doesn't have any kids for you to play with. If we had done that our parents would have been furious with us! Plus, there were high fences, so you couldn't even get into a backyard without permission.

I agree that it's sad that people don't know their neighbors anymore. Not the way it should be.

I'm sort of surprised that so many posters are acting like this is some sort of new, unheard of attitiude. I grew up in the 70s and my friends and I all knew not to go into someone else's yard unless we were invited to be there. I am teaching my child the same thing. It surprises me that so many people apparently don't do that.

OP, I don't think you are being unreasonable. It's your property and you should be able to decide who is welcome on it. If some people want to have the fun yard in the neighborhood and let all the kids play there, that's great for them. If you prefer to limit who has access to your yard you have every right to do that. It shouldn't matter why you don't want them there - maybe it's a liability issue, maybe you don't want your flowerbeds trampled, maybe you don't want random kids peering in your windows - all that matters is that you don't want them there. You don't have to justify that to anyone. I agree with others that you should talk to the kids first, then the parents. Realistically, the only real solution might be for you to get a fence at some point if it's important enough to you.

Thanks!

 

[amez]

I grew up in a small town as well and we didn't go into anyones yard without permission.

I wonder -for those people who think that it's okay for the girls to be running around the yard- at what age is it not okay? Would it be okay for an adult to be wandering around the yard? And if its okay for the girls to be in someone elses yard without permission then is it okay for them to walk into the house, or an open garage, play in the car or play with toys outside? At what point is a person's personal property personal?

Amy

 

[krcit]

I don't see any posts where parents are saying it's ok to run willy nilly in other people's yards and we're teaching our kids not to respect property. I am going by the original post that stated that one time 2 teens ran through her yard as well as other yards as they were playing. To me, that is not a matter for the police or to get all that worked up over. If it happens again, then I would calmly tell the kids to please stay out of my yard. OP has since stated that she thinks the girl may be the girl that was already told to stay out of her yard. If that is the case then I would go and calmly speak to her parents. I am very respectful of people's property and have taught my children to be the same way however I'm not going to say I never ran through someone's yard while playing a game(esp if there was a cute boy involved) Now, would I like to have strange kids running through my yard on a daily basis? Of course not, but I'm not going to stress over a couple of teens playing a game one time.

 

[hsmamato2]

ITA! It's about respecting someone else's property, and they aren't.

I have to agree- I have kids, we have a neighborhood with kids running all over the yards- but if someone specifically mentions NOT to do so,then going back there is DISRESPECTFUL. period. It's not 'kids will be kids'- kids know where they should and shouldn't be,once they're made aware.
OP, I understand,but also, a great way to make friends with people is accepting an open neighborhood type atmosphere sometimes too- You will be viewed as antisocial by your neighbors,but if you don't care,then that's fine!
If I asked some stinkin' teens to leave my driveway,and they got foul on me,I wouldn't be amused. That's wrong,and there's no excuse.
Why is everyone jumping on OP in both threads for caring about this? I don't get it......

 

[mickeyboat]

If I saw my child in someone's yard without permission, I would surely tell her to get out of there because she is trespassing and being incredibly impolite. I teach my kids to respect others' personal property.

But I would certainly not make a big fuss over some kids being in my yard, especially if the kids were not hurting anything were not causing any kind of disturbance, and were not being too loud. I don't think I would call their parents. I would definitely not call the police. That is an extreme overreaction.

What I might do is take a minute to get to know them a little better, though.

 

[hsmamato2]

One of our favorite games was to throw a ball over the roof of a house and then the person who caught it would attempt to tag the kids on the other side. If you were in the house, it was incredibly loud. None of the parents seemed to mind. We'd move from house to a different house each time we played so we wouldn't bother one set of parents over and over. Today, people would say that we were rude and disrespectful. That was not the case at all. The parents knew us and had no problem with how we played. If they did, we have a problem, we'd stop. We were actually very respectful of others.

Nope, the diff. here is that the parents knew you-and like myself,I don't mind hearing my own kids and their friends play around my house. But yo all played that game in a strangers yard,and they asked you to go elsewhere,and you decided to ignore that request,then this is more like what OP is saying

 

[freckles and boo]

The problem isn't really that the OP wants to kids to stay out of her yard. For me it just isn't that big of a deal. Tell them to scram, end of story. When you act like a jerk you run the risk of turning into THAT neighbor - the one who is always screaming "YOU DARN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!", which in turn makes you the one neighbor they will be inclined to antagonize. We have very polite kids here who sometimes do stupid crap. If I came here and posted that the neighbor kids were shrieking with silliness at 10:30 at night I imagine the replies would be "call the police! Tell their parents!" I just asked them to knock it off because the little kids were sleeping. They said "Sorry, Mrs. M" and moved off to play somewhere else. The problem is usually solved very simply.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I grew up in a small town. There were only 94 houses. It wasn't even big enough to be called a town, we were a "village." Everyone knew everyone...even if you didn't want to.

Anyway, I guess it depends on how you were raised moreso than anything else. We were raised not to play in anyone else's lawn without permission (or around their vehicles). I respected that and never (and I mean never) went onto someone's property to play without their approval. Even for trick-or-treat, we would be the only kids who would walk up the sidewalk or driveway instead of cutting across lawns. It was a matter of respect, and my father made it clear to us. I guess it's ingrained in my brain successfully because I have taught my kids the same way. They know it is not acceptable (to me).

Now having said that, I probably wouldn't be bothered by the OP's situation and likely wouldn't do anything about it. But if I did get annoyed and want it to stop, I would just tell the kids nicely myself.

 

[Had2stopLurking]

Call the cops on kids playing tag? REALLY? REALLY?

I can't even imagine anyone doing that. I would find that so beyond "out of control" that I would probably call to have a "well check" done on the person's sanity and insist that my neighbor was crazy and needed a 72 hour check.

Also, after reading this thread, I really think that some people should go back to school and learn the difference between "to, two, and too" and "they're, their and there" before resorting to calling the po-po on some kids for playing tag.

To the OP. This is the 2nd thread you've started about this in a couple of weeks. Build a fence or quit whining. It's not rocket science.

 

[kaytieeldr]

None of the parents seemed to mind. We'd move from house to a different house each time we played so we wouldn't bother one set of parents over and over. Today, people would say that we were rude and disrespectful.

Know what's funny? Those people who would say it's rude or disrespectful are our younger siblings, or even our kids!

 

[SundaeAfternoon]

To the OP. This is the 2nd thread you've started about this in a couple of weeks. Build a fence or quit whining. It's not rocket science.

Quit whining? You are very rude and your post has been reported.

If you have a problem with my threads, then don't click on them. It's not rocket science.

 

[luvsJack]

Nope, the diff. here is that the parents knew you-and like myself,I don't mind hearing my own kids and their friends play around my house. But yo all played that game in a strangers yard,and they asked you to go elsewhere,and you decided to ignore that request,then this is more like what OP is saying

There is also the difference of staying in the yard to play a game and running through the yard (the OP's case).

It's not like these kids were intentionally trying to cause a problem.

I agree with Freckles and Boo, just say "hey, ya'll watch it! You need to stay in your own yard" or something to that effect. No need to make such an issue out of it.

Personally, I would laugh and say "ya'll watch out, don't get hurt" and leave it at that. Just not something to get too worked up about.

 

[Feralpeg]

Know what's funny? Those people who would say it's rude or disrespectful are our younger siblings, or even our kids!

You got it!

 

[Disney Doll]

OP, I agree with you. I think it's incredibly rude for kids to think they should have the run of a nieghborhood and trample all over people's lawns, run around their vehicles etc. I didn't do it when I was a kid, and we lived in a nieghborhood. You went on the lawns of the people you knew didn't mind, which were the lawns of the houses your friends lived in. There were some childless folks on the street...we did not step foot in their yard unless invited. It's called respect for people's property.

In your situation, I'd probably try and talk to the kids next time they went flying through your yard and say "I don't love it when you run through the yard and I am worried that when you are playing around the motorcycles, that one of them will fall on you and you'll get hurt, so please don't play in the yard".

I feel your pain. I live in a house on a corner and we fenced in our back yard partly because we got a dog and partly because I got sick of looking out my back door and seeing people cutting across our yard. I was also of the mindset that if one of them fell, that "we're all neighbors and this is the kind of neighborhood where the kids play in all the yards" warm fuzzy feeling would go right out the window in the amount of time it would have taken them to dial their lawyer....

 

[surfergirl602]

sounds like they were playing tag?

 

[phorsenuf]

Am I the only one with this image in my mind?

 

[lillygator]

Quit whining? You are very rude and your post has been reported.

If you have a problem with my threads, then don't click on them. It's not rocket science.

I can see the issue now.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Quit whining? You are very rude and your post has been reported.

If you have a problem with my threads, then don't click on them. It's not rocket science.

I think people should be able to voice their opinions without being reported. I didn't think the post was that bad....certainly not "very rude" or reportable. But eh, I'm a libertarian, what can I say?

When you post a thread, you should expect those who agree with you and those who don't....and those who don't may not post with warm fuzzies.

 

[KAMLEM]

I'm going to guess this parents don't care. I would call the police

How in the world can you assume that? The OP has not even dared to speak to the kids, nevermind the parents. The parents probably have no idea that their children ran through someone's yard while playing.

Yes...what is going on in the world these days? Parents are teaching their kids to not respect other people and their property, and the rest of us are supposed to just "deal with it."

Why does everyone want to blame the parents? You haven't even spoken to the parents yet!!!! Jeepers.

Quit whining? You are very rude and your post has been reported.

Based on the original post as well as this one, I think you tend to over react about things. It's really not that big a deal.

 

[3jsmommy]

I'm in my 30's and I clearly remember "yard hopping" especially as a pre teen when walking with my friends. Ever hear of Huck Finn or the Little Rascals?
I don't think it's a sign of the times and spoiled kids it's just having fun and being a kid.
I'm so sick of all the "kids today" talk, especially about something like this. Kids used to walk everywhere, when I see kids walking or riding bikes,(and they always cut across our corner property) it makes me happy because I think in general kids don't play outside much anymore.
The people who say "call the police" are crankier than the old guy who used to tell us he was going to shoot us if we walked on his grass, at least he was cool!