MOOvers on the MOOve Again

[babynurse1]

I think I'll "emulate" LilG today and post philosophically today.


Yesterday was an odd day for me. Things that I thought I would not be thinking about suddenly reared their ugly head. I was taken aback by the magnitude of what I was feeling. I'm not going to lie, it was a tearful and exhausting day.

Of course those are the days when other things in your life don't go as well either. Isn't that the way it always works? When it rains it pours. Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to cover it.

Then to top it all off I felt I had received a huge slap in the face by an attention seeking friend who with her ridiculous comments and behavior made a mockery of everything I was feeling.

Let's just say I've had better days.

So

Why did I share this with y'all?

Because I know some of you guys are going through tough times. I know that sometimes very bad things happen to very good people. There is no explanation. There is no rhyme nor reason. It is part of the human experience.

Yet somehow we persevere. We find the strength to keep fighting the good fight. We overcome and we become better. stronger. hopeful.

A sweet friend of mine told me yesterday (as I am sniffing and slobbering like a baby) that life's road is alot less bumpy with good friends at your side.

How true that is. I am so thankful for people who have supported me, encouraged me, held my hand (sometimes it was a cyber hand. lol) while I cried, stood up for me when I was wronged, laughed with (at?) me when I was happy, trusted me with their secrets, and loved me for the crazy, goofy bbn that I am.

My point is this:

1. Ty guys for your friendship. Sometimes a little word of encouragement, even from imaginary friends, is the tiny bit of strength you are looking for to keep going.

2. For anybody who is going through a hard time, I hope you can dig deep and forge ahead. Dont let anyone or anything rob you of your joy!

3. You can knock me down, but I WILL stand back up. (can I sing now? puuhhllllleeeeeezzzzzzzzzzeeeee!)

 

[Sandy321]

Thank you for sharing!

I know I've been in a "weird place" more or less an "in between" place... mostly a "I-dont-want-to-think-about-it" place... and I certainly do not ever want to inflict any negativity to the people I care about... so I try and sit back and get back to me!!

Lately I've been thinking about the poetry of Mattie Stepanek - remember him?

Heartsong

I have a song, deep in my heart,
And only I can hear it.
If I close my eyes and sit very still
It is so easy to listen to my song.
When my eyes are open and
I am so busy and moving and busy,
If I take time and listen very hard,
I can still hear my Heartsong.
It makes me feel happy.
Happier than ever.
Happier than everywhere
And everything and everyone
In the whole wide world
Happy like thinking about Going to Heaven when I die.
My Heartsong sounds like this:

I love you! I love you!
How happy you can be!
How happy you can make
The whole world be!

And sometimes it's other
Tunes and words, too,
But it always sings the
Same special feeling to me.
It makes me think of
Jamie, and Katie and Stevie,
And other wonderful things.
This is my special song.
But do you know what?
All people have a special song
Inside their hearts!
Everyone in the show wide world
Has a special Heartsong.
If you believe in magical, musical hearts,
And if you believe you can be happy,
Then you, too, will hear your song.

March 1996
© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek

 

[TwinkieMama]

You can knock me down, but I WILL stand back up. (can I sing now? puuhhllllleeeeeezzzzzzzzzzeeeee!)

All together now. And don't forget to clap on the back beat.

 

[celerystalker]

babycow I love you, man! Hang in there.

sandy - yes, I remember him! I think about him every time I see a patient named Mattie. I thought of him just yesterday!
I never saw him on tv - all I know of him is from Christiev (she's the one who married the cute guy from big and rich and who I never see anymore since she's a pseudo celeb). she worked with him on some project (celebritys confuse me. ) and was so touched by him.
everytime I see that name, I think of her getting all emotional telling me about him.

mommyp - salary is one of the reasons I left my other church. the pastor and her partner together were bringing in over $100,000. and wanted to hire more people. when we weren't making budget.
it's just hard for me to stomach.
I think pastors should be comfortable, but I don't think they need 5 bedroom fancy schmancy houses.
unless one of them works outside the church.

 

[celerystalker]

I forgot to lighten y'alls mood by sharing the antics of dumb dating amber.

I gave in yesterday and sent him a text.

(I listened to you guys for a whole 24 hours! I get some credit, right?)

I sent:
How's your week going?

no reply.
so 30 minutes later I sent:
Just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else because I'm REALLY interested in you. If you don't feel the same, please let me know so I'm not wasting my time.

no reply.
so then I call him.
no answer.
so then I get mad and start texting other boys.
and get back on match.com and start winking at random guys.
and then I call breadman (no answer - he was asleep, I'm sure)
I might have called Jason No Nickname two more times.
no answer.

this morning, I get a text from him:
I'm sorry, Amber. I'll call you tonight.



Argh! So now I have to think about it all day.

 

[babynurse1]

sandy: thats a nice poem.

cel: good luck with your conversation tonight.

twink: ty for the location change. i think i need one too. something about trying to feel hopeful when things look impossible.

 

[celerystalker]

I go from funny story to sob story.

My company has a camp every summer for kids with ESRD (end stage renal disease)
These kids are either on dialysis or have had a transplant.
They spend a week in the HOT TN summer and there are nurses and doctors there to take care of them - we even have a little cabin with 12 dialysis machines in the middle of the woods.
most of us from corporate look forward to camp every year.
Ben volunteered last year and was so touched that he wrote a song.
Here are the lyrics.

Everything Left
B. Glidewell


Verse 1
About a hundred kids from five to fifteen with smiles as big as I’d ever seen
Came pouring in to a campsite somewhere south of Dickson
And you’d never know, just looking in, that there was anything different about them
That there were so many people worrying
And they laughed and they sang
As we led them through some silly games
And they act just like little boys and little girls

Chorus
They were living like that had everything left
We were hoping to give them more
The funny thing I realize is how often times us healthy folk forget
That we have everything left

Verse 2
Its five full days that they can run and play
And the nurses wipe the sweat and dirt away
They take up the fight for these children’s lives
They’ve faced more fears than any young kid should
They barely flinch when you and I both would
And when the treatment’s done they’re back out having fun
Well they laugh and they sing

‘Cause they get to do ordinary things
And they act just like little boys and little girls

 

[lexmelinda]

Hello!

Home for lunch. I just read back a little.

BNCG.... I DO have those days too. It helps to cry it out. We're always here for ya.

Cel....Don't be such an eager beaver. (That expression makes me chuckle.) No man on earth wants what's readily available. Play hard to get. They fall for it every time. Good luck tonight.

Monica.... I never *caught* any of my kids eating bugs or sticking stuff up their noses. (thank goodness)

MP....I'm trying to picture a kid with half a caterpillar. And it makes me a little nauseous. I'm with you on the preacher salary. No church planting preacher needs $62K/yr. Can't you get the SBC to send you a missionary or sumpm to get the new church started? If the guy can't take less than $62K then he's not your guy. I'm worried he might be doing it for the money, not for the Lord. I support our little family (and nicely if I do say so) on WAY (way) less than that.

Moo....Congrats on the 40 lbs. I'm so proud of you.

Marita....You're moving offices? Losing assistants? Taking a pay cut?

Ever-buddy............

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

 

[NAB]

I posted this morning were did it go....

Babynurse-- go have your bath and listen to the music you like. I was going say that Buble ...bubble guy you say in concert. Can tell I know how to spell.

Sandy-- beautiful poem. I used to collect poems out of the paper when I was a teenager. They had one in everyday that ordinary people send in. Some can say so much.

Celery-- Ben wrote that? He is very talented. Hope the new guy tonight has a good reason for not calling and texting.


because everyone can always use a hug!!!

 

[celerystalker]

Nab - yeah, he's beyond talented! It's like the president of our company said "I keep wondering why he's in dialysis."

Y'all should check out his myspace music page sometime. search for benjamin glidewell
although he does do a lot of slightly risque R and B.
he writes a little of everything though. and he sings great.
and looks good too.

you can find him on facebook too through me, but I don't know if he puts his music on there.

Melinda - can't do it! I'm too impatient!

Ben said I shouldn't "DTR" so soon (define the relationship).
I don't care!
If he's not right for me, he's not. I need to know so I can get on with it!

 

[monymony3471]

It's soooooooo beautiful today!

Breath in BBN, can you smell that fresh warm air? Hopefully it can help lift you up! (((HUGS)))

Cel: That stuff made me crazy too. I was just like you. I am totally getting you, but sometimes, you just have to wait and see. How did I do it without, pages, cell phones, email? Not a clue. I hope you have a good talk later.


I survived a bunch of 4 year olds bowling. It took an hour and a half for them to finish a single game.

Got to watch a mom run after her 5 kids. 3 of which were under the age of 3. One totally attached at the hip and had a piercing scream each and every time he was put down. OY!

Taking all these rugrats back outside! The sun feels soooooo good. I missed it sooo much!

 

[celerystalker]

Saying a quick prayer for babycow cuz I was thinking about you.


mony - back in the days before technology, you could just stare at the phone.
or if you DID call, there was no caller ID, so they either answered or they didn't - it wasn't a personal attack! and they would NEVER KNOW you called them a billion times if they just weren't home.

and if they did answer, you could hang up and they'd never know it was you!

ahhh, the good ole days.

 

[PrincessJasmine08]

Bbn...you get a major AMEN from me. It's funny how things will sneak up on you when you least expect them. And you know what I mean. You think you've put it all away and there it is. For that to have happened because of the careless, selfish actions of another person is entirely horrific. You are an amazing and strong person!!!

Lylat.

I'd like to post a song. I'm not going to get into details of how this same event impacted me because it's really not my place to confront people or make people make better choices. I would just hope that people would think about how many others they may hurt before making selfish choices. It's a shame really.
Last night I sat on my bathroom floor and cried my eyes out for a good part of the evening. Today at school wasn't much better. The carelessness that has been displayed is appalling.

But this is not how we roll. THIS is how we roll. Taylor Swift always says it best.

State the obvious,
I didn’t get my perfect fantasy
I realized you love yourself
More that you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends
That I’m obsessive and crazy,
That’s fine
I’ll tell mine
You’re gay,
And by the way,

I hate that stupid old pickup truck,
You never let me drive
You’re a redneck heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I’m concerned,
You’re just another picture to burn.

There’s no time for tears
I’m just sitting here planning my revenge
There’s nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends
And if you come around saying’ sorry to me
My daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be

‘Cause I hate that stupid old pickup truck,
You never let me drive
You’re a redneck, heartbreak
Who’s really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I’m concerned,
You’re just another picture to burn.

And if you’re missing me
You better keep it to yourself
‘Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health

‘Cause I hate that stupid old pickup truck,
You never let me drive
You’re a redneck, heartbreak
Who’s really been a lie, yeah
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned,
You're just another picture to burn

Now everybody look out because the trollops are back!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Backstage_Gal]

{{{{{HUG}}}}}} to BBN, Cel and PJ and anyone else who needs it

Your imaginary friends are here for you!

Marita....You're moving offices? Losing assistants? Taking a pay cut?

Lexi, I am moving to a new job in Global Resorts Consolidation and Planning.
My old position is losing an assitant (Asst #2), she is transferring, but will not be backfilled. My position will be backfilled.
No paycut!

 

[Sandy321]

Hip Hip HOORAY
the sun came out today!

and promise of sun tomorrow!!

Its been too long! It may get up to 70 degrees F - and no humidity!


BBN- I too have been thinking about you - and hoping that the eternal sunshine finds you, and you know they way to go! You are all that is good - nursing is beyond me, I appreciate you!!

Lexi glad you found a computer!! Thinking 'bout you too -

Mony what happened to the periogis? Glad you got to go outside!! Bowling? inside? so glad my.... not going to say it!!

PJ so did you get back to work? How many more days? I hear we have 37 more wake ups till summer vacation! Is it ok to be a Redneck woman? Not some high class broad?

Cel I have little experience - I married my high school sweetheart! I certainly think you have a kind warmheart and you should stand up for yourself! Hey, that reminds me have you read that book by that guy - he was on Oprah and everything? Found it~ Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey!! http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090227_tows_steve-harvey-excerpt

 

[aldisneygrl]

Ok, haven't had time to read back....busy with end of the year crafts! I promise to do so later.


BUT........


Ok, I need you prayers, and positive thoughts, and a little pixie dust for good measure. I had a little boy, from my preschool and Sunday school class, sit in my lap last night at church. He said the Lord's Prayer for me, that's our memory work this quarter. Well, I gave him a kiss on the cheek for doing a good job, and thought, hmmmm he feels warm to me. Well, we continued to sit behind him during service, and I noticed that he was sniffing a lot, and wasn't acting like he felt too good. So much so that I grabbed my hand sanitizer and covered my hands with it. Well, he wasn't at school today because he was home with a 102 fever. His mom called her SIL, which is one of my coworkers, and told her that he had the FLU!!!! Ok, now I am freaked out that I am going to catch it. I have managed to stay healthy throughout all of my training, and I don't want to end up sick here at the end!! I run my half marathon NEXT SATURDAY!!! I will totally ticked off if I get sick and can't run!!

Sorry to be just a "pop in" poster, but I know you guys will pray for me to stay healthy. Why oh Why did I touch that boy last night!!

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Pixie Dust and best wishes for staying healthy, Aliie! You have got to have some immunity by now from being around kids all the time?

 

[javamom]

sadly, one of the nurses..i've worked with the past

25 years, suddenly passed away. we're all in shocked.

So sorry for your loss, Lil G

I talked today with my replacement (whose replacement I am). We are trading places. She said she was happy where she was, and not looking forward to moving back out to the field. It sounds like the hours won't be a bad as I feared. Then again, they are cutting the positions from two to one. Then again, they are adding a reporting team. Who knows?????

Hope it all works out for you Marita.

Thanks for the encouragement, all.
I put my phone in the trunk last night so I wouldn't be tempted to text.

This cracked me up!! I think I would be too paranoid to do that.

Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to cover it.

Then to top it all off I felt I had received a huge slap in the face by an attention seeking friend who with her ridiculous comments and behavior made a mockery of everything I was feeling.

Let's just say I've had better days.

BBN

 

[celerystalker]

java - trust me - I'm too paranoid right now to even step foot out of my hotel room!
I sure hope Riley can hold it the rest of the night.
some construction worker (there's a lot of migrant workers in this part of the world who live in hotels while they do construction) has been walking around outside on his cell phone for over an hour.
talking LOUDLY!
it's annoying.
he's very rednecky.
ha. that's a word.
I want to go peek out the curtains at him, but I'm scared he'll see me.
eek!
it doesn't help that my friend Sonia said that her husband has had issues in this town - he's one of those migrant construction workers and his friends have been held up coming out of their hotel rooms.
ack!

If only Clem was here to save me!

soooo. I had THE TALK with Jason.
he doesn't think I'm psycho.
he completely appreciates me calling him out.
he thought he was ready for a serious "talk on the phone" everyday type of relationship, but he's not.
he thinks I'm awesome.
he loves that I'm great with Addie.
so - I've got another breadman!
a really great friend who I can hang out with, but who isn't ready for the real thing.
he apologized several times.
I told him that's fine - I'm just glad it's out in the open.
I told him I'm fine with hanging out with him more - but I'm looking for a serious relationship, so if I find someone, we'll have to go back to just friends.
he was so cute - he started to say maybe he'd find he was ready at some point - but he couldn't even get it out.

so it's back to the drawing board.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Hope it all works out for you Marita.

Thanks, Steph!

I went to an overview meeting this aftenoon. I think it will be OK. Tons of files linked though, it will take some time to remember.
On the plus side, a 1000% improvement in cafeteria options. A small place downstairs with made to order Boarshead sandwiches (they even have tuna salad, I hope without onions) and a daily special, plus the BIG MGM cafeteria nearby with a subway inside.

Tomorrow is my final official day at the old job. Morning is some catching up on files, a short meeting, then finish packing. Then team lunch at Red Lobster, back to the office to load up boxes in a truck and drop them off at our respective new offices in the afternoon.

Monday morning, all report at new jobs.
I know there will be some back and forth for a while all around, but for all purposes, this is it!