1. Why is the fact that they are male going to calm my mind?

Male teachers should be just as well versed in children's lit as female teachers.
2. For once, I agree with you. it doesn't make a lot of sense - but I bet Google queen (moo), google princess (lex) or nancy drew will know the answer.
ok.
given that both a pot and a kettle are black, if one of them was like "You are SO black!" it would be kinda silly - cuz they're both black.
So you saying someone is a loser for not getting a cultural reference is silly - cuz you don't get a lot of cultural references.
Now here's my problem with this.
Cast iron turns black with lots of use, which I'm assuming was the pot material of choice back when that phrase was made up -
but I know in my family we've had various older pieces of things like kettles - and they had to be of lighter material - and in my experience, they don't typically turn black.
Maybe kettles back then were made of a thinner iron and thus turned black.
WAIT!
I just had an epiphany!
they cook "kettle corn" in a HUGE cast iron pot.
Maybe THAT's the kettle they are referring to instead of a smaller one used to boil water.
Hmmm.
Ok smart ladies - what's the rest of the story?
(I bet Ms. Pot has NO IDEA who always says that. What a loser. hehehhe.)