moochie neighbor

[lakelandgal70]

I would never go to my neighbors and borrow anything. I just find it rude to do so. If I am out of anything I would go to the store or have hubby pick it up. In the 15yrs we have lived here no one has knocked on our door to borrow anything. I don't even answer the door anyway since I am home all day by myself. I just find the op's neighbor extremely rude. And the fact she thinks you can afford to do this just because you don't have kids, wow. That is plain crazy. We don't have kids and a lot of people have assumed we have all the free time in the world and major cash flow. ha! OP glad you put a stop to the free train!

 

[kelleigh1]

The nerve of people.

I didn't read all the responses, but I have to say that this is ridiculous. These people like take advantage. They are lazy and want everyone else to pay for them. They figure people won't say no, so they can just take advantage and get away with this.

Good for you for going off. The free handouts need to end. It is not your responsibility, or any of the other neighbors', to see that these people have what they need.

People like this like to "push the envelope". They just figure they'll see how much they can get away with.

 

[Styx Fan]

Some people just have no boundaries and should be stopped. For sure the OP's neighbor is one of them.

But I find it kind of sad also when people say they have lived somewhere for a long time and no one ever borrows or lends in their neighborhood. It is admirable to not take advantage of the neighbors or let yourself be taken advantage of.....but I think people should work together and support each other to make life easier. Wish I was perfect, but sometimes I am in the middle of cooking something and realize we are out of an ingredient. Why in the world should I have to stop and run to the store for an egg? That takes time and gas. I would hope that my neighbors would come to me in that case and I would be happy to help out. And I hope they would be happy to help me, too. But after reading this thread, I am afraid to go to my neighbors for a quick assist....afraid they will be put out by my humble request and think poorly of me.

For the last 12 years we lived next door to a family with 4 kids. We have 2. The kids played together and the adults became good friends. As the years passed we borrowed back and forth just about anything you could imagine. Their grill broke, came over to our deck to use ours. Since our kids swam in their pool, our hose helped fill it. Big party? Our deck furniture went over the fence. Their kids need a ride? Come ask Miss Lisa. i need a ride to pick up my car from the repair shop? Yup, neighbor to the rescue. Now, there were times I started to feel taken advantage of as I am a stock-up shopped and neighbor was always out of things, hence I usually couldn't get what I needed. And when the kids started to come on their own to borrow things like sugar because they wanted Kool-aid too often, I did learn to be "out". But I loved the security of having an extended household next door....and I loved the closeness. They just moved a couple of months ago and I miss them tons. Well, all except the dogs going in my yard

 

[sdmom]

Once .... many moons ago a 13 year old neighbor girl ~ 5 or 6 houses down~ rang the doorbell 10 minutes after the school bus (my dd's were on) went by. She was trying not to cry & asked politely if I could drive her to school. ( +2 miles) I threw on a bathrobe and off we went. She thanked me profusely and told me she overslept all the while wiping away tears. Never happened again, but for the next couple of years every time I drove by that house and the kids were out.. I'd get BIG smiles and waves.

That was so nice of you.

Sorry OP, you got a real treat of a neighbor there.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Years ago, when I lived in Texas, I had a moochie neighbor. She would wait until the day she saw me come in with groceries to start asking to borrow stuff KNOWING I was not out of Eggs or Sugar. I just went to the store. But mainly she always asked to use my phone. I couldn't tell her we were out of that. She would borrow it and I would hand her my cordless handset and she would walk with it over to her porch and makes calls and sit out there on her porch with my phone for 20 or 30 minutes!! I can understand if you don't have a phone and you need to make a quick call to ask someone for a ride or something you might NEED to tell someone, but to borrow my phone so you can get caught up socially with all your friends, I don't think so.

After awhile I started leaving my front blinds closed and just didn't answer the door and she would catch me on my way out of the house but I would always make sure if I went outside I was actually leaving. She finally backed off a little but they were nasty moochie ppl with dirty bratty kids. They really couldn't afford to live in our neighborhood. I don't know how they ever qualified to get into the house but it didn't take long before they weren't able to keep up the payments and they moved away. I was so relieved when they moved. She tried to keep in touch with me after she moved and even called me once to tell me she didn't have anything to feed her kids, could I buy her some groceries and drive them out to her an hour away in her new place. I didn't do it of course. I never answered her calls again after that. (Caller ID)

OH, and I almost forgot, when she was using my phone she would give out my phone number and I would get odd random phone calls asking for her by name. I told them I am sorry she doesn't live here she is just my neighbor and this is not her phone you are calling. I never took her the phone. This went on for about 3 months but she would ask to use the phone at least twice a day. It was a miserable time.

 

[christie_megansmom]

huh. I've been reading this entire post with my jaw hanging open. I just can't believe the nerve of some people!

In my neighborhood, borrowing is rare but does happen once a year or so. If I give a neighbor a cup of sugar or an egg or two .. the next day a paper plate with a dozen cookies magically appears. That's just how it works on our street.

Once .... many moons ago a 13 year old neighbor girl ~ 5 or 6 houses down~ rang the doorbell 10 minutes after the school bus (my dd's were on) went by. She was trying not to cry & asked politely if I could drive her to school. ( +2 miles) I threw on a bathrobe and off we went. She thanked me profusely and told me she overslept all the while wiping away tears. Never happened again, but for the next couple of years every time I drove by that house and the kids were out.. I'd get BIG smiles and waves.

I

I had to do this once. My mom was an alcoholic and my dad was out of town on a business trip. I had a field trip and couldn't wake my mom up, plus I knew she'd still be drunk. I felt awful, but I had to ask a neighbor at 5:00 to take me to school. (I knew she'd be up, but still, that's really early.) I was crying and totally humiliated.

 

[dakcp2001]

I feel the need to update. One of the kids came by and knocked tonight near dinner time, we just sat there ignoring the knocking and bell ringing that went on for about 15 minutes. Then the kid left. Came back about half hour later, same thing we ignored the door.

I feel bad being mean to the kids, but obviously these people are not getting it. I need a sprinkler system I think.

 

[hereyago]

I feel the need to update. One of the kids came by and knocked tonight near dinner time, we just sat there ignoring the knocking and bell ringing that went on for about 15 minutes. Then the kid left. Came back about half hour later, same thing we ignored the door.

I feel bad being mean to the kids, but obviously these people are not getting it. I need a sprinkler system I think.

wowsers. The parents are the ones actually being mean to the kids and setting them up to the their little go phers to get stuff and teaching them that.

I do love the sprinkler system idea. I am in a giggly mood this weekend, and I was thinking how hard it would be if she were my name not to wave at her next time and say Hi Mooch instead of by her real name.

Ok, still in a silly mood, too bad your doorbell doens't have some sort of scary voice that says GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pigletto]

I had to do this once. My mom was an alcoholic and my dad was out of town on a business trip. I had a field trip and couldn't wake my mom up, plus I knew she'd still be drunk. I felt awful, but I had to ask a neighbor at 5:00 to take me to school. (I knew she'd be up, but still, that's really early.) I was crying and totally humiliated.

Just a giant hug for you. I am sorry you had to go through that. And for what it's worth, I would never in a million years turn away or begrudge a child in need of a ride

 

[krcit]

Some people just have no boundaries and should be stopped. For sure the OP's neighbor is one of them.

But I find it kind of sad also when people say they have lived somewhere for a long time and no one ever borrows or lends in their neighborhood. It is admirable to not take advantage of the neighbors or let yourself be taken advantage of.....but I think people should work together and support each other to make life easier. Wish I was perfect, but sometimes I am in the middle of cooking something and realize we are out of an ingredient. Why in the world should I have to stop and run to the store for an egg? That takes time and gas. I would hope that my neighbors would come to me in that case and I would be happy to help out. And I hope they would be happy to help me, too. But after reading this thread, I am afraid to go to my neighbors for a quick assist....afraid they will be put out by my humble request and think poorly of me.

For the last 12 years we lived next door to a family with 4 kids. We have 2. The kids played together and the adults became good friends. As the years passed we borrowed back and forth just about anything you could imagine. Their grill broke, came over to our deck to use ours. Since our kids swam in their pool, our hose helped fill it. Big party? Our deck furniture went over the fence. Their kids need a ride? Come ask Miss Lisa. i need a ride to pick up my car from the repair shop? Yup, neighbor to the rescue. Now, there were times I started to feel taken advantage of as I am a stock-up shopped and neighbor was always out of things, hence I usually couldn't get what I needed. And when the kids started to come on their own to borrow things like sugar because they wanted Kool-aid too often, I did learn to be "out". But I loved the security of having an extended household next door....and I loved the closeness. They just moved a couple of months ago and I miss them tons. Well, all except the dogs going in my yard

I agree. I would hate if my neighbors were afraid to ask to borrow an egg or some milk. I have been in the middle of making dinner and realized I was out of a key ingredient and called my next door neighbor and vice versa. It's part of living in a neighborhood to me and I love it. Now, the op's neighbor is a first class mooch, but I'm talking about the occasional can of chicken broth or sugar.

 

[Swimalie]

But I find it kind of sad also when people say they have lived somewhere for a long time and no one ever borrows or lends in their neighborhood. It is admirable to not take advantage of the neighbors or let yourself be taken advantage of.....but I think people should work together and support each other to make life easier. Wish I was perfect, but sometimes I am in the middle of cooking something and realize we are out of an ingredient. Why in the world should I have to stop and run to the store for an egg? That takes time and gas. I would hope that my neighbors would come to me in that case and I would be happy to help out. And I hope they would be happy to help me, too. But after reading this thread, I am afraid to go to my neighbors for a quick assist....afraid they will be put out by my humble request and think poorly of me.
:

I agree. I'm glad I live in a neighborhood where we help each other when needed. Of course, none of my neighbors are true moochers, either. But we do borrow and/or lend out items when needed.

A few weeks ago, during Christmas break, my next door neighbor came over just before 10am and asked for a ride to work. She and her husband only have 1 car and she said she couldn't get ahold of him. No problem. My son and I put on our shoes and drove her. It was nice to be in the position to help out and I could never imagine saying no to a neighbor in need. You never know if you will be that neighbor one day.

 

[Pooh2]

!

 

[Zim]

Maybe you should send her a letter telling her to knock it off. All the neighbors might benefit!

Speaking of the neighbors... what kind of neighborhood do you live in? If there is a homeowner's association, you might be able to make a formal complaint. In fact, I would go as far as to get a letter signed by other neighbors also fed up with the panhandling. Basically request the HOA to send a warning letter stating that it is inappropriate to subject the neighborhood to a regular solicitation of food and other household goods (there may even be something in the bylaws for that). I expect to find panhandlers in subways and busy city streets or highway intersections. I would be highly offended to find them knocking at my door nightly, however.

If that's not available, I think I'd send a sealed letter with the next under-age messenger for their mom stating that when their cars are older than yours, please feel free to come a knocking.

 

[angierae]

They are creepers!

My MIL has a neighbor who would wait until she opened her blinds and turned on her lights in the morning, and then call. "I see you're awake! How are you?"

CREEPY. She started keeping the blinds on that side of the house closed.

 

[valee]

I wouldn't mind loaning something to a neighbor, but I think we all tend to be pretty well stocked, so don't find ourselves running out. I'm always amazed at the run on the grocery stores when a snow store is predicted. We've all got milk and bread in our freezers so we won't have to make that mad dash. I don't have any children in my house, but keep some cartons of the shelf stable milk around in case someone needs it.

If I had a moocher neighbor who was a repeat offender, I'd just respond to the requests with: "Sure - You can just write me a check to cover the cost. If you'll be replacing the stuff, I can hold it until you have a chance to get to the store, but otherwise I'll just cash it next week."

 

[nsmith]

Once .... many moons ago a 13 year old neighbor girl ~ 5 or 6 houses down~ rang the doorbell 10 minutes after the school bus (my dd's were on) went by. She was trying not to cry & asked politely if I could drive her to school. ( +2 miles) I threw on a bathrobe and off we went. She thanked me profusely and told me she overslept all the while wiping away tears. Never happened again, but for the next couple of years every time I drove by that house and the kids were out.. I'd get BIG smiles and waves.

this happened once to me,drove the kid to school. Later that year it was bitter, bitter cold out, that kids mom had him in her car at the bus stop nice and warm, let my son stand on the bus stop and freeze. thought maybe she asked and my son was to shy to accept. NOPE, my son said "I kept looking at them wishing they would let me sit in the car till the bus came". GRRRRRRRRR

 

[cornflake]

I agree. I'm glad I live in a neighborhood where we help each other when needed. Of course, none of my neighbors are true moochers, either. But we do borrow and/or lend out items when needed.

A few weeks ago, during Christmas break, my next door neighbor came over just before 10am and asked for a ride to work. She and her husband only have 1 car and she said she couldn't get ahold of him. No problem. My son and I put on our shoes and drove her. It was nice to be in the position to help out and I could never imagine saying no to a neighbor in need. You never know if you will be that neighbor one day.

The key phrase there is 'in need' I don't think any of us would mind helping out someone actually in need like you did there, even if it's actually in need of an egg or bread or whatever, at the moment.

It's the clearly not in need 'go haul your own butt to the store to get ink so my kid can print something because... no reason besides I appear to be a hugely lazy cow' thing that people have no interest in.

 

[Swimalie]

The key phrase there is 'in need' I don't think any of us would mind helping out someone actually in need like you did there, even if it's actually in need of an egg or bread or whatever, at the moment.

It's the clearly not in need 'go haul your own butt to the store to get ink so my kid can print something because... no reason besides I appear to be a hugely lazy cow' thing that people have no interest in.

Very true. That's when they cross the line from borrowing and mooching.

 

[bpesch]

Maybe you should send her a letter telling her to knock it off. All the neighbors might benefit!

Doubt it would do any good. This is the type of person that never sees the problem as being them.

 

[DisneyEater]

If I were the OP I would have a talk with the mom and tell her not to have the kids come over anymore. If she needs to borrow something that bad she can come over herself (and the answer will still be "no").

I would tell her it is cruel to send her kids over for that kind of rejection, which is what they will get.