Moms with boys..a moment of your time please

[TheOtherVillainess]

I know it's a little early..ok way too early...but I've been thinking ahead about how I can keep DS motivated to stay active once he starts school. I know..I know..he's only 4 mos old but I always try to plan ahead. Sometimes way, way WAY ahead.

I know there are various sports out there he could be involved in..soccer,football, t-ball,swimming. But..and this is my big question..would he be considered girly or a wimp or something else equally negative if I put him in dance classes? I love ballet and I'd love to see him doing ballet or tap/jazz. Would he be made fun of by his male peers if he was in a tap/ballet/jazz class? I don't want him to be made fun of, but I also want him to experience (even if he ends up dropping out) the fun that comes from dancing and perhaps even grow to love it the way I do.

God..if only I'd known being a parent would cause me to get wrinkles and gray hair before my time worrying about things like this, sometimes I think I wouldn't have signed up at all.

TOV

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Some of the boys might give him a hard time, but he'd be very popular with the girls.

 

[tassie42]

there is a boys hip hop class that is very popular where my daughter takes ballet. I would wait and see what he's interested in.

enjoy your little boy! it seems like yesterday mine was 4 months old now hes 11!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Cool. Even at this tender age, I try to expose him to as much dancing as I can. The other day we watched my CATS video and we've watched Lord of the Dance and Riverdance several times.He really seems to be interested in them, although at this point I can't tell if he likes the dancing or if he's just interested in the movement and bright colors.

TOV

 

[Toby'sFriend]

you could start taking him to some of the Gymboree movement classes now to stimulate his interest in music.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Actually, because we're going to have to enroll him in daycare this fall, we're saving all our money to put him in a Primrose school near our home which I know from talking to a neighbor has a heavy focus on the arts, including dance and music. I put on music and dance around with him all the time, sing everything from nursery rhymes to Nickleback with him and try to expose him to as much as I can at this crucial age.

Even now,while he's napping, I have classical music playing in his nursery.

TOV

 

[missypie]

DS 12 has been taking ballet, tap and jazz for 5+ years. Our kids take dance at a huge studio and there are a total of 3 boys...one tiny tot, my son and a HS junior in Company who is AWESOME. However, when we were at Regionals there was a school that had lots of boys...their Elite Company had 5 or 6 and their dances were very masculine.

DS was considering dropping (he's not the most coordinated child), but he is into choir at school and he found out that there is a show choir at high schol that does a lot of dancing, so he wants to stay in.

Several men I know were jocks at school but their dads made them take dance for coordination. (If you watch that movie they show on the Disney Channel about the blind wrestler, he finally gets good once he learns dance.)

 

[eeyore45]

THis reminds me of a discussion dh and I had while I was pg with ds #1 - dh was adament that his son would NOT play Little League baseball, he sited many horror stories from kids being cruel to parents being rediculous.

My comment... why dont we wait and see what ds wants to do. I should add DH was more of a "geek" (nerd - smart guy in school, I was accused of being a "red necked" not exactly popular!)

We kept up with the local park district and put ds in day camps that had sports as well as gymnastics and dance. DS at 3 loved gymnastics and soccer, he often combined the 2 - it was so cute, so sweet... Then at 31/2 ds was diagnosed as hard of hearing, thru the school we found out Stan Mikita has a hockey school (camp) for hard of hearing/deaf kids... my comment what mother would want their kid to play hockey!!

Well to make a long story short, it was the best investment we ever made. His first time out on the ice a high school boy was practicing on one end of the ice while 2 high school boys were teaching him how to skate and work the puck, and bam ds was knocked out by a puck, the 2 high school boys carried my ds limp body off the ice, ds had tears rolling down his eyes, he looks up at the 2 high school boys and grins at me and says "MOM, I think I made new friends"

Needless to say he was hooked for life - he found HIS nitch, he was born to be a jock (much to dh's chagrin!!) It was one place where my ds was able to succeed, regardless of all the teasing, bullying etc that took place, on the ice, or on the lacrosse fields, he found he could succeed, period.

My other ds is more of a "geek" he loves life, he loves theatre, he loves band, he loves being on the swim team (and succeeding, its amazing!)

Both boys are "different" and it was a challenge making sure I could find something to keep them interested and engaged. I was lucky that they found Boy Scouts, and they love the outdoors, camping, shooting guns, building fires, but more importantly as they grew older, teaching other scouts younger than them.

It is such a priveldge to be able to watch them grow. Just 2 weeks ago I was sitting watching them in a Native American Ceremony. I have to add that thier costumes include wearing loin cloths - now imagine a 6 foot muscular jock in a loin cloth, there is no way I would've predicted THAT!! And they were taught by a local Indian Nation the correct dance steps, again, what an honor!!

Good luck, and enjoy every moment!!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

In all seriousness, my brother (now 22 and married) took jazz, tap and several other forms of dance all through junior high and high school. He also was very involved in drama and sports and scouting.

He never had any problems and was quite popular with both male and female classmates.

 

[tkyes]

I would love to see what Dads thought about this, I know you asked Moms to chime in.

If my son showed a genuine interest in it, I wouldn't discourage him, but it's not something we would sign our son (when we have one) up for.

I do think that boys in dance or theater get picked on. Is it right? Of course not, but I think it happens.

DH is not a pig but I know he wouldn't be all that thrilled if we had a son that wanted to do dance.

It's just not something either one of us is passionate about so I doubt our child would have a lot of exposure to it.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I want our DS to try anything he's interested in. If that would happen to be dance, then we'll sign him up. Right now, he's playing soccer and will probably play t-ball when he's old enough -- those are the two things he's shown interest in so far.

 

[KimR]

My DD used to take dance and the owner of the dance school had a such hard time getting enough boys to enroll that she offered FREE classes to boys. Not just one free class, either...she didn't charge boys tuition at all! Even then, I think there were only a couple boys enrolled and they were the younger ones (around 3 or 4).

I agree with the poster who said to let your son decide what he's interested in. The best way to keep a child active is to get him/her involved in activity they are passionate about. I know what you mean, though. I LOVE dance so as soon as my DD turned 3 I enrolled her in a creative movement class. She then moved on to ballet and tap; however it wasn't really her thing. She liked it OK, but discovered her true 'passion' when she went to a birthday party at a gymnastics school. After that, she begged me to take gymnastics and eventually dropped out of dance. She now competes at level 5 and has been state champion for the past 2 years. My middle DD is following in her footsteps, but there's still hope for my youngest...she seems more of the dancer type and is showing a bit of an interest. We shall see.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

That's my feeling, Bob. When he's old enough, I'll sign him up for whatever he's interested in. Hopefully it will be dance, but if it's not, well..alright. I can't say I didn't try.

With my luck it will be football he'll want to play. After all, his daddy is a big Cowboys fan and this IS Texas after all. Football is almost like a religion down here.

TOV

 

[binny]

another in agreement with " let him try whats interested in"

and keep in mind...
"worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but gets you nowhere"

In other words let tomorrow worry about tomorrow.

 

[luvmydogs]

I don't see anything wrong with enrolling your son in dance classes. It's something you love and you want to share it with him! It'd be a different story if he would decide he wasn't interested and you FORCED him (as with any activity), but you sound like such a loving, concerned mom and I'm sure that wouldn't be the case. As another poster said, dance is wonderful for coordination--when I was younger I dated a boxer whose coach had him take ballet.

Will he be made fun of by other boys? Hmmmm, honestly and sadly that may be true once he gets older. It's like if you're not a "jock" you're less than masculine. Although I would like to see someone even try and call Barishnikov a sissy......

I think it's wonderful that you want to expose your son to the things you enjoy--and at a young age what's more fun than dancing around the house with your mom?! Just take your cue from him and let him explore--I'm sure you'll be supportive of him no matter what he decides to do!

 

[Jenn Lynn]

I don't have a son, but if I did I would sign him up for gymnastics. DD takes gymnastics at the YMCA and there are several boys in her class and in the older classes. They start at age 2 and they teach really basic gymnastic skills and work a lot on coordination.

I would not discourage my son if he wanted to take dance. In my HS there was a guy who took ballet. He got a little flack, but I think most people respected him. He had a twin brother who was "the jock".

 

[spagheddie]

As a father of a soon to be 2yo, if he came to me and said,
"I gotta dance", I'd help him start. That being said, I wouldn't push him in that direction. My interests are sports and music and he loves to play ball and make noises with my guitar.

I'll admit I'm probably hypocritical on this subject. We've given him a kitchen to play with and will be getting him a toy vacuum for his birthday, toys that are traditionally marketed to girls. At the same time I wouldn't be thrilled with him playing with Barbie.

Cultivate your son's interests. If it happens to be dance that's great. Will he be made fun of? Probably, but who here hasn't been made fun of at one time or another. As long as he has a great family and friends he'll overcome it and hopefully be very successful.

 

[jrydberg]

Go with what the kid wants to do, not what would make you happy. It's fine to expose kids to things and gauge interest, but my advice is don't push. That'll likely have exactly the opposite of the effect you desire

As a side note, yes, it likely would cause some teasing from other boys. Mind you, boys are going to tease other boys about something anyway, so I wouldn't get too worked up over that.

 

[Mad4Mickey]

My DS will be 16 next week , we have let him make his own choices about sports. He didnt play pee wee football ( his father played his whole life and played football in college) he played hockey and took karate instead.
In Junior High he played football for 2 years , High School he played 1 yr. He also Wrestled . I had never seen a wrestling match in my life ! he gave up football because he didnt want to get hurt ,he wouldnt be able to wrestle . My son is going into his Junior year in High School ranked 3rd in the state for his wieght class.
What did his Dad want him to do ? Play FOOTBALL !
What did his Mom want him to do ? Just to be happy !

He is

you will know what he wants to do sooner then later . Give him the chance to do everything then just tuh him loose .

BTW DS also raced dirt bikes, rode bulls, and roped and team penned with me. But he found his true love Wrestling

 

[Christine]

You know, I used to think about the same things when my son was a baby. How could I keep him active and involved with something. My cousin has always had her sone very involved in hockey and I always admired how much he loved to play.

When my son was about 5, we tried T-Ball. He was bored with it. Then a little later, we tried soccer. My son is coordinated enough but he absolutely HATED the "team sport" concept and the competitiveness and the coach pushing them along. He was in tears. And really, the coach wasn't bad at all. My son just hates feeling like he is responsible for missing a goal, etc. He just hated it.

He did pretty good in gymnastics and just last year, we enrolled him in drama (he is 9). Oh my god, he loves it. I'm sure he would love dance, but he is way to self-conscious about the "girly" thing, but if we had started him earlier, he might have really given it a try.