Moms to be Part 4

[WDWorBUST]

Do you ladies all have your childcare plans mapped out for the new baby? Here's my situation (I apologize...it's kind of long)

I have DD who will be 7 when the baby is born and in 1st grade. My mom has watched her since I first went back to work when she was 8 weeks old. She was in daycare for less than a week when my mom fell and broke her leg before we ended up having my aunt just come help my mom with her instead. (She had never been to daycare and was 2 1/2 ish and it was just a horrible experience - I don't think daycare is all bad by any means). So now DD is 6 and pretty self-sufficient. Of course she couldn't stay by herself....but at nanny and poppy's she can fix herself a drink, put a movie in, etc. etc. so really my mom doesn't have to do a whole lot for her. My dad has retired now so he actually walks her to school every day and picks her up. My mom's health has declined over the last 7 years....she has rheumatoid arthritis and her knees give her fits. They actually have told her she needs to have knee replacement surgery. My dad is home now but he will be 70 next year and although he is still very active and in good health he is almost 70 years old. So my plan was that I would put the baby in daycare and they would continue to keep DD. Well they weren't having that. They want to keep the baby too. Of course it will save me a boatload of money (I do pay my parents....but it's peanuts in comparison to daycare) and I would rather the baby be with them. Not to mention I also worry about how much longer my parents will be with us and want the baby to have as much time with them as possible and them to get all the enjoyment they can from the baby too. However, I really don't think my mom is any shape to have a baby full-time. And although my dad will be there to help - and will be happy to do that I don't feel like it's fair that he worked hard all his life to be stuck with a baby full-time in retirement. With DD she's at school at least 60% of the time giving him and mom both time to do the things they would like to....that won't be the case if they have a baby too. So what do I do? I have to admit that it makes me a little nervous too them getting older....and if it was just my mom at this point I don't think there would be any question I would find another option....but since it's both of them I don't feel like there is any danger (Of something happening healthwise and no one else being there - I know both of my parents will do everything in their power to make sure my babies are taken care of). I'm just so torn. I have worked for the company I currently work for over 10 years now and absolutely love it. Although they are very family oriented I don't think an alternate schedule would work...I'm considering approaching them about working part-time at the office and part-time from home because I think that would really be ideal. And it's feasible...I can remote connect to my computer from home and have a work issued blackberry for emails....it just has never been done before and I'm not sure they would go for it. I can't tell you why this has hit me today....I woke up at 4:15am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep thinking about it.

 

[Nette]

Do you ladies all have your childcare plans mapped out for the new baby? Here's my situation (I apologize...it's kind of long)

I have DD who will be 7 when the baby is born and in 1st grade. My mom has watched her since I first went back to work when she was 8 weeks old. She was in daycare for less than a week when my mom fell and broke her leg before we ended up having my aunt just come help my mom with her instead. (She had never been to daycare and was 2 1/2 ish and it was just a horrible experience - I don't think daycare is all bad by any means). So now DD is 6 and pretty self-sufficient. Of course she couldn't stay by herself....but at nanny and poppy's she can fix herself a drink, put a movie in, etc. etc. so really my mom doesn't have to do a whole lot for her. My dad has retired now so he actually walks her to school every day and picks her up. My mom's health has declined over the last 7 years....she has rheumatoid arthritis and her knees give her fits. They actually have told her she needs to have knee replacement surgery. My dad is home now but he will be 70 next year and although he is still very active and in good health he is almost 70 years old. So my plan was that I would put the baby in daycare and they would continue to keep DD. Well they weren't having that. They want to keep the baby too. Of course it will save me a boatload of money (I do pay my parents....but it's peanuts in comparison to daycare) and I would rather the baby be with them. Not to mention I also worry about how much longer my parents will be with us and want the baby to have as much time with them as possible and them to get all the enjoyment they can from the baby too. However, I really don't think my mom is any shape to have a baby full-time. And although my dad will be there to help - and will be happy to do that I don't feel like it's fair that he worked hard all his life to be stuck with a baby full-time in retirement. With DD she's at school at least 60% of the time giving him and mom both time to do the things they would like to....that won't be the case if they have a baby too. So what do I do? I have to admit that it makes me a little nervous too them getting older....and if it was just my mom at this point I don't think there would be any question I would find another option....but since it's both of them I don't feel like there is any danger (Of something happening healthwise and no one else being there - I know both of my parents will do everything in their power to make sure my babies are taken care of). I'm just so torn. I have worked for the company I currently work for over 10 years now and absolutely love it. Although they are very family oriented I don't think an alternate schedule would work...I'm considering approaching them about working part-time at the office and part-time from home because I think that would really be ideal. And it's feasible...I can remote connect to my computer from home and have a work issued blackberry for emails....it just has never been done before and I'm not sure they would go for it. I can't tell you why this has hit me today....I woke up at 4:15am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep thinking about it.

Well I'm in a very similar boat. My DD (who will turn 8 3 weeks after baby is born) did go to daycare for her entire pre-school years. She has also gone to after-care at school since she started 3 years ago. My mother is retiring at the end of August, and my maternity leave is up end of sept. Mom *insists* that she wants to keep baby. I worry that he will be too much for her. I know they aren't too bad the first few months, but once he's mobile, I really worry about mom chasing him around. She's not that old... only going to be 60 next year, but this is the same woman who broke her femur doing YOGA.

I agreed to let mom watch him, and if she wants to she can pick DD up from school each day, but only on the condition that she wouldn't hesitate to tell me if it got to be too much. I still feel like I'm taking advantage of her... even though I know she loves having DD and will love having DS, but they also give us a good portion of DD's private school tuition (we don't need it and they know that but want to contribute).

Isn't it weird when you start watching out for your parents AND your kids?

 

[sunlover13]

Do you ladies all have your childcare plans mapped out for the new baby?

I feel your pain. I have no idea what we are going to do. Here's my story:

SIL watched my 7 yr old from 3 months old thru Kindergarten, Mon thru Thurs. I worked from home on Fridays. DD went to a classmates house before & after school this past year 1st grade. DD is going to SIL's for the summer. SIL does not want to watch the baby. She is going to sub in hopes of getting a full time teaching job now that her kids are older.

So, we have no daycare for the baby at all. DD will be 8 and is covered by a classmate's Mom who doesn't want to watch an infant. She has 3 kids, 1 of which is 17 months old.

My work said no more working from home starting next month, no exceptions.

I get 12 weeks total of leave, max.

My plan is to try to find someone in the neighborhood willing to watch an infant. I'm going to apply to go back to work as a flex employee, 3 days a week, off 2 days. Obviously, less pay, but I think that it is the best option to find daycare and not work as much. I do not want to put the baby in daycare. I've visited the Kindercare's in my neighborhood for DD in the past and walked out. I didn't like them.

If we can't find anybody, I will probably stay home and we will have to change our lifestyle quite a bit.

Good luck! I know it is not easy and very stressful.

Oh, and to top it all off, my company is in the process of being sold so I have no idea if my flex is going to be approved or not or what the new company's policy will be........

 

[TarzansKat]

Hello all!
We welcomed a beautiful, healthy, baby girl into the world on Tuesday, June 8 at 5:25 am weighing 6 lbs. 3 oz and measuring 18 inches! She is a little peanut, but with the exception of being a little jaundice she is just perfect!
I went into the hospital Sunday afternoon at 5:30 to begin the induction process, but after 33 hours of 'labor' I never progressed past 3 and ended up with a c-section. We came home from the hospital late Friday afternoon and have been sooooo happy at home!
I hope that everyone is doing well.... I will attempt to post a few pictures later!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I hope someone answers this question... I keep reading and the L&D nurse told me that if they hurt I should go back in. But they hurt more times than not. Is it unbearable? No. Hurt is such a relative term... I have a fairly high tolerance for pain I've found out... They also say if the contractions are regular you need to go in... but my mom swears that none of her contractions were EVER regular. I'm so confused it's not funny. I'm waiting for a real sign like my water breaking.

I had Braxton Hicks earlier on that were so uncomfortable, I was holding the bottom of my stomach and couldn't bear to walk around at work. I ended up going in, not thinking I was in labor, but wanting to make sure baby was okay.

They checked me out and everything was fine, and most likely, I was dehydrated. Pushing fluids really helped.

I guess that's my long answer. The BH are uncomfortable to me but rarely like the pain of real labor.

Do you ladies all have your childcare plans mapped out for the new baby? Here's my situation (I apologize...it's kind of long)

I'm sort of responding to everyone by responding to you, so I just want you all to know, I understand how you feel.

My mom was 55 years old when she passed. I'd gone back and forth on whether or not to have her watch the baby when he's born, and the Saturday before she went into the hospital (she had a cardiac arrest and never woke up), we had lunch, and I'd made my decision.

I wanted her to watch my son, and I'm really glad I told her that before she died. I wasn't comfortable with leaving him with anyone else, and even though my mom and I had our issues, I felt she was the best person to have my child and knew how much she would love to have him and take care of him.

I work part time, and went back to work when my first son was about 15 months old. My mom took care of him three days a week until this past school year, when he started going to preschool two full days a week, and staying with her one day a week (covering my during the week work days).

Fast forward to now.

My mom is gone. I've lost my best friend, my mother, and what I felt was my best child care option. Life is different, and we have to make choices. Because I carry our health insurance, the least expensive option is actually for me to continue working, and run about a $6000 defecit each year paying for child care. That figure comes from taking the cost of child care and subtracting my salary from it, since I don't make enough to cover it completely.

My DS is 5 and will be going to afternoon kindergarten. Fortunately for me, our local Y runs an after school program, and I signed him up for that. It's extremely affordable, and for that I was soooo grateful.

Making a decision for the baby was harder. My dad works, so he's not an option. My nana is in her early 80s, and I didn't feel comfortable with that either because of some health concerns she has.

Last week, I bit the bullet and put down a deposit on the most well-reputed day care center in our town. It was hard. I went home and felt awful, but good, because I knew it was the best place for him. The hard financial part for us is because I need three days a week, that's considered full time, so I'm paying full time rates to put my baby in day care when I work part time.

I've come at this from every angle, I've analyzed all the finances, and we know what our best option is at this point.

Will my opinion change after he gets here? It's sure possible, but this is what we've chosen for now, and this is what works.

I guess my question is, does it have to be all or nothing? Would any of you consider letting your parents have your child one or two days a week, like I did with my Mom and my older son this year?

I guess my point is, yes, we worry about our parents / grandparents and their health and their abilities. But my mother had a bond with my son that no one can take away from them, and I know he'll always remember (and he still talks about) the things that she did with him.

You've all got to make the decision that's right for you, but I guess I'm sort of swayed towards family (always have been, but even more so) because of my recent experience.

to you all, because it's a very difficult decision.

 

[Temair]

This is what I'm thinking of painting on my nursery wall for a mural. What do you guys think?

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/photo.php?pid=4847160&id=649551496

 

[sunlover13]

I guess my question is, does it have to be all or nothing? Would any of you consider letting your parents have your child one or two days a week, like I did with my Mom and my older son this year?

Sorry about your Mom, that had to be very tough.

I wish my Mom could watch the baby. She works full time. I would love to have anyone in my family watch the baby, but everyone works. My FIL is not an option as he has a 24 hour caretaker himself.

I didn't realize how good we had it when my SIL watched my DD.

This is what I'm thinking of painting on my nursery wall for a mural. What do you guys think?

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/photo.php?pid=4847160&id=649551496

This link doesn't work. Can you post again?

 

[TarzansKat]

Sorry about your Mom, that had to be very tough.

Thank you.

I wish my Mom could watch the baby. She works full time. I would love to have anyone in my family watch the baby, but everyone works. My FIL is not an option as he has a 24 hour caretaker himself.

I didn't realize how good we had it when my SIL watched my DD.

I'm the same way. I really appreciated everything my mom did when she did it, but now that it's not an option anymore, I think, did I appreciate how good I had it? I was very blessed for many years.

This link doesn't work. Can you post again?

I had trouble with it as well, but I'd love to see!

 

[TSRE]

I had a few thoughts about the childcare:

I think it's worth asking about the flex schedule. My sister worked at a large (huge) insurance company when her first was born, and no one there had worked from home before, but she asked and was allowed to. It's worth a try!

You mentioned not wanting to eat up your dad's retirement - is it possible that your dad wants to watch the baby because it will give him something to focus on in retirement? I say that bc I was just talking the other day with a retirement age friend who said that his friends that retire end up going back to work somewhere because they feel useless if they have no job/thing to go to every day. Maybe the kids provide purpose for your dad?

If my mom had any interest at all in watching my children, I think I would try to take her up on it, doing something like Nette - making her promise to let me know if it was too much. I just wish I could convince my mom to see my kids more often than once a year on their birthdays!

Hope everyone is able to work out a good childcare situation - it is so hard sometimes.

 

[Temair]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

I am so sorry.....prayers are being sent up right now.

 

[kpm76]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for the unspeakable loss Lots of prayers for baby #2.....

 

[TSRE]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

So sorry - how difficult that must be. I am praying for them.

 

[leith78]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

So, so sorry to hear this. Prayers for everyone, especially baby #2.

 

[cmskok]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

God Bless your brother, his wife and their children...so sorry for your loss...

 

[TarzansKat]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

I am so sorry. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[sunlover13]

Please pray for my brother Andrew and his wife Claire. Claire is 22 weeks pregnant with twins and has been on hospital bedrest for 2 weeks. Last night her water broke and she delivered a little baby boy who went to heaven. The Dr's are trying to stop labor from continuing and giving baby #2 a chance to grow stronger. Please pray that the Dr's can save baby #2, and for comfort in this time of grief.

I'm so sorry. Prayers being said.........

 

[irisbud]

Temair: I am so sorry to hear that. Prayers being said.

 

[Leger13]

Well ladies after suffering through pain for a week I broke down and went to the ER tonight. Turns out my instincts were right and what I have is not hemorrhoids, but an abscess. So I'm now on antibiotics and hydrocodone for that pain. I also have a referral to a specialist to see if it will need to be drained. I'm praying and hoping I can get in asap for me and baby's sake. I did learn that if I think the Dr is wrong not to keep waiting as it can only get worse.

oh NOOOOOOO!!!!! Girl I FEEL your pain!!!!! In 2009 I had an abscess in the same area. It HURTS!!!!!! I hope you have had it taken care of by now and are on the road to recovery. I was out of work for a week with mine and my Dr didn't even drain it. It never healed properly so I still have issues with it here and there but nothing major. I know I should get it reassessed but I know the only way they can really fix it at this point is with surgery. I figure I'll handle that after I give birth at some point. Also, when I was about 7 weeks pregnant I had one pop up in my left arm pit that was oh so bad! I thought it was a blocked milk duct (or rather hoped it was) but it was a bad abscess. OMG that one was so bad too but I healed a lot faster with that one since they actually lanced that one. I've read that pregnancy can bring these things about that much more and it is SO the pits!!! I'm sending MAJOR hugs your way!

Ahhh here we go. I didn't want to make that post any longer than necessary. Anywho, I've been sick as a dog since last Thursday. I felt a little better Saturday, DH and I went to Target and out for a bite to eat, and Sunday I was a mess. Monday I had to call MIL to come over to bring me to the Dr. Turns out I have both a sinus and upper respiratory infection! Yikes. No wonder I've been feeling like smeared poo. I actually had my mom help me since Tuesday, she just left this afternoon. Ugh, I was a hot mess. a HOT HOT mess. Hotter mess than Lindsay Lohan, but with antibiotics instead of coke.

I'm finally returning to the living today, but now DD is getting sickies. I hope hers isn't an infection... just a cold. ::sigh::

Sorry you were so sick but glad you went to the dr and got some meds. Hope you are feeling better by now. I'm so bad at keeping up here!

 

[Leger13]

Hey ladies! My apologies for not keeping up with everyone better. We seem to have quite a few "sickies" here lately and I hope you are all feeling better, and if not yet that you will be soon.

We have nesting going on...I desperately need to start that one myself. Don't really know yet where we are going to put the baby, much less all the "gear" that goes with one. I'm trying to minimize how much stuff we end up with, but there are still those things that really do make life easier.

Well we should find out gender Thursday night so this weekend I can start going through all the baby stuff in the garage. I will either be selling it if we end up with a boy....or going through it and organizing it a bit better by size for this baby if it's a girl. But knowing which I'm doing will make it much easier. And I hope to find a few maternity things that I know I put up but are most likely mixed in with newborn stuff. I also need to figure out what model our crib is and see if it was recalled. I was in Babies R Us recently and I don't think I saw a single drop-side crib. I'll also be able to see how good of shape the stuff we had for DD is in and if there is anything that needs replacing.

And Friday night I noticed a rash on DD so I took her to Urgent Care (which was a waste of time and energy - they really need some pediatric people) and they just gave her a steroid thinking it was a contact type thing. Well it still wasn't gone today so I had my mom take her to her pediatrician and he thinks it's Fifths Disease....which from my research I totally think he is right. Thank goodness I'm as far along as I am so it isn't as big of a concern. I will still tell my OB about it on Thursday and probably ask that they run the test to see if I have immunity although the risk at this point is pretty low. My only concern is the incubation period can be pretty long so I'd rather know that everything is okay.

The next few days cannot pass quickly enough. I am so excited to find out if this is a boy or girl

I have got to get on my horse here at work too. I have been pretty worthless since my miscarriage last year between the grief that followed that and then TTC again. I have got to get ready for my leave of absence. My timing really stinks too because I do benefits and as hard as I'm going to try I don't think we will have our insurance renewals in time for me to get open enrollment done before I go out so I might be coming to work during my leave to do that. I can probably work something out with my boss though to work through my leave as necessary and just take longer and probably be able to bring baby with me some.

Sorry about the novel....just actually had a few minutes and thought I would try and get caught up.

Bummer on all the sickies still going around. I hope you didn't contract Fiths Disease. And yay on finding out the gender of the baby today!!! How exciting!

 

[Leger13]

Hello all!
We welcomed a beautiful, healthy, baby girl into the world on Tuesday, June 8 at 5:25 am weighing 6 lbs. 3 oz and measuring 18 inches! She is a little peanut, but with the exception of being a little jaundice she is just perfect!
I went into the hospital Sunday afternoon at 5:30 to begin the induction process, but after 33 hours of 'labor' I never progressed past 3 and ended up with a c-section. We came home from the hospital late Friday afternoon and have been sooooo happy at home!
I hope that everyone is doing well.... I will attempt to post a few pictures later!

Congratulations!!