Moms.....I need suggestions and sensitivity traing.

[Jing]

Just going to toss out there that if you decide to go and the younger one does too, a daddy & me (us) pedicure at One of the spas would be a great way to appeal to her slower-paced style. Plus, there are DVC discounts

 

[jt'smom]

For those that are concerned....and some of you appear to be. This was originally brought up to the kids 4 days ago. I haven't heard a word from them about it since. All. Kids are different. Mine are very well adjusted and there will be no meltdowns or blame game if we decide not to go. Concerning whether or not you have to do everything for one that you do for the other....I completely disagree. One likes some things and one likes others. They get equal time and love.....but it doesnf always have to be together.

Oh....and I'll add uncool to the list. LOL!

I didn't read the whole thread, but I must be a great wife and suck as a mother, because I would give you and the oldest daughter a kiss and tell you to have a great time! It wouldn't be an issue with me at all if my youngest had no real interest and my older went on a special trip alone with my husband. I'd probably enjoy alone time with the youngest doing "our" type of things. I'm kind of surprised that a spouse would be jealous and resentful in this situation, but different strokes for different folks. OP, go and have a great time with your oldest daughter if your wife is cool with it.

 

[Mambo Junkie]

I didn't read the whole thread, but I must be a great wife and suck as a mother, because I would give you and the oldest daughter a kiss and tell you to have a great time! It wouldn't be an issue with me at all if my youngest had no real interest and my older went on a special trip alone with my husband. I'd probably enjoy alone time with the youngest doing "our" type of things. I'm kind of surprised that a spouse would be jealous and resentful in this situation, but different strokes for different folks. OP, go and have a great time with your oldest daughter if your wife is cool with it.

Totally agree!

 

[teller80]

LOL!!!Also for the record.....we've had a good laugh over this thread. Still not sure if I'm going or not or whether 1 or both kids will be going. We've got time. Thanks for the suggestions!!!

I'm confused. Who is the "we"? You and your wife? So you asked her what she thought? Did I miss the update?

 

[BuckeyeBama]

That was not how his initial post talking about that came across.

He has posted many times in the thread to clarify his thoughts and express new ones.

 

[Angel Ariel]

He has posted many times in the thread to clarify his thoughts and express new ones.

Yes, but what I was saying when you quoted me originally was an explanation for my initial response, not a reaction to posts the op has made since.

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

Sorry you feel that way. I would say I'm less likely to go now but if I do I am more likely to talk the youngest one into going as well. Thanks again for the feedback!!!

I'm confused. Who is the "we"? You and your wife? So you asked her what she thought? Did I miss the update?

I'm thinking the above is an update of sorts.

 

[teller80]

I'm thinking the above is an update of sorts.

I don't know, it was kinda vague to me. I was expecting something along the lines of, "my wife is fine with me going to Disney w/o her, and she said anytime I want to run things by the kids first that's fine too. I really don't mind being the last to know".

 

[RustManFan]

I believe every parent needs to arrange special one on one time with each child and where better than at WDW! A couple of course is not joined at the hip so a few days apart shouldn't strain any relationship. The other daughter and Mom will have their own special time just being alone together.

I say go for it!

 

[mom2AidanAndEli]

I don't know, it was kinda vague to me. I was expecting something along the lines of, "my wife is fine with me going to Disney w/o her, and she said anytime I want to run things by the kids first that's fine too. I really don't mind being the last to know".

Think you'll be waiting a long time for that one!!!

 

[hicksnichols]

Great opportunity to teach her a lesson. Father and Mother ask if she wants to go with Father. She says no. Later wishes she had made another choice. Instead of indulging her, teach her to more carefully consider things in the future.

Great point. But won't that be a tough lesson for Mom to teach while Dad and sis are out having a blast! lol.

 

[Tulles]

Funny timing that I just read this thread as I'm in the midst of planning a mother/son trip this September for my son's 10th birthday. I mentioned a few years ago (after the kids first trip) ro my husband that I'd love to take each kid individually right before they become a Disney adult. He's fine with the idea as he takes each of the kids on solo camping trips every summer.

Nothing wrong with one on one time with your kids while they still are willing to be seen in public with you is my motto!

 

[Maleficent Dragon]

I find it disheartening at the number of people who feel like they have to be joined at the hip with their spouse or they have to get the same things otherwise they will end up in divorce court.

OP, for the record, not everybody has a selfish spouse or one that is envious enough to put their foot down when something great happens for one and not the other. I hope you do not think that everybody sees marriage this way and everybody commenting here is against you and your idea. YouTube is full of videos where some go and some stay home. You know your wife best and you know what will hurt her and what won't. My daughter is 17 and we talk about things before I run it by my husband. He has never felt slighted or disrespected. He knows I love him more than anybody else and if thought for one moment I was doing something that would hurt him, I would not do it.

My husband and I have a beautiful marriage. We are almost always together and we have so much love and respect for one another. There is not anything I would not give my husband and he is the same when it comes to me. My husband has traveled without me to Florida to play in soccer tournaments, right there at WWOS. He also worked for a carrier that was installing equipment in the Tree of Life (when the limbs were removed) and I was unable to go. I am the Disney fanatic in the family. I visit Disney at least once a year without him and he never once throws a fit or acts like I am getting things he isn't. We purchased DVC, but it is really for me because it made more sense given that I am not a fan of values or even moderate resorts. He loves AKV-K, but is not a huge fan of the parks. He is a huge fan of me though. My husband knows I want to visit Israel more than any other nation on this globe, but if he had an oppty to go without me, I would be so happy for him to go. There is not any "justification" per se, but my husband and I believe in respect and submission and as a part of it, we would respectfully tell the other one why we can do it financially and how we feel it would not affect the rest of the family negatively. A good marriage doesn't require that old "one for me, one for you" mentality.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Not being ok with one spouse taking a child to wdw alone does not equal being joined at the hip. Neither dh nor I would want to miss out on Disney time with Dd. He has taken her plenty of other places without me, as I have also taken her many places without him. And we are fine with each other taking solo trips to Disney. It has nothing to do with one for me, one for you. It is just, for us, when Dd is at Disney, we both want to witness and experience her joy.

 

[prudence64]

I'm sure the wife will be fine if he ever talks to her about it, assuming financial is ok.

No problem to go alone, but it is a problem not to talk about it - it's a family expense either way.

I just hope the younger sibling was asked , "Do you want to go to Disney?" And not asked "You don't want to go to Disney and have to get up early with us do you?" or "Wouldnt you rather stay and keep mom company?"

If mom and daughter genuinely don't want to go at that time it's not a problem. Lack of communication is the problem.

But, I don't understand if it is an issue, why not plan it for a time that's not inconvenient the wife?

 

[Hunterr]

If you can afford to do it, why not? Do it.

Or at the least, maybe set aside one day on your trip where just you and the older one go off on your own while the mom and the sister go on their own.

I dunno what the family dynamic is, so it's hard to say.

 

[nugov2]

Not being ok with one spouse taking a child to wdw alone does not equal being joined at the hip. Neither dh nor I would want to miss out on Disney time with Dd. He has taken her plenty of other places without me, as I have also taken her many places without him. And we are fine with each other taking solo trips to Disney. It has nothing to do with one for me, one for you. It is just, for us, when Dd is at Disney, we both want to witness and experience her joy.

What's the difference between missing the joy on your child's face at any other place in the world vs WDW, especially if they have been there before. I don't get the mentality that joy and happiness is on such a level at wdw that you wouldn't see at many other destinations....again especially when it isn't the first trip. WDW is great, don't get me wrong ,but the joy I saw even on my children's face has been replicated many times in many places over the years. Just because it is Disney making it the exception is an odd philosophy. If this dad was asking about taking his dd to the zoo on a special trip for a few days people would be lol'ING at the mom who would have their undies in a bunch over it. I guess while I love Disney it doesn't rate on some separate level of vacation then any other place.

 

[Angel Ariel]

What's the difference between missing the joy on your child's face at any other place in the world vs WDW, especially if they have been there before. I don't get the mentality that joy and happiness is on such a level at wdw that you wouldn't see at many other destinations....again especially when it isn't the first trip. WDW is great, don't get me wrong ,but the joy I saw even on my children's face has been replicated many times in many places over the years. Just because it is Disney making it the exception is an odd philosophy. If this dad was asking about taking his dd to the zoo on a special trip for a few days people would be lol'ING at the mom who would have their undies in a bunch over it. I guess while I love Disney it doesn't rate on some separate level of vacation then any other place.

Disney is different for us. We spent our honeymoon at Disney. When DH returned from his first deployment, we celebrated our first anniversary (which he was deployed during) at Disney. It's a special place for us beyond just being a fun vacation destination.

Maybe it is odd to others, but it's our life and our relationship. All I'm saying is that the fact that Disney is something we chose to do together doesn't mean we're joined at the hip. Far from it.

 

[nugov2]

Disney is different for us. We spent our honeymoon at Disney. When DH returned from his first deployment, we celebrated our first anniversary (which he was deployed during) at Disney. It's a special place for us beyond just being a fun vacation destination.

Maybe it is odd to others, but it's our life and our relationship. All I'm saying is that the fact that Disney is something we chose to do together doesn't mean we're joined at the hip. Far from it.

No, the fact that you choose together doesn't mean you are joined at the hip, but the fact that you are saying that if your spouse decided to bring your child without you would be a no, no says more. There isn't a place on the planet my Dh couldn't bring one of our children or all of them without me if the opportunity made sense in every aspect except I couldn't go. Hawaii is our place so I get that feeling, but if the opportunity came up where he could take them and I couldn't go I wouldn't feel right letting jealousy (because that's what it is) prevent them from going and making memories and an already special place more special. It just means the next time we all go they can share that experience with me and all that they did, and that would make me happy! That's just me of course. I don't understand the mentality that something is off limits to my family if I can't go because it is special.

 

[River Country]

I remember the first year we became DVC members we had been given so many points as an incentive I think I had 3 trips in 12 months just not to lose the points. First trip was May it was me and DW DD(4 at the time) my mom and dad too. I planned a December trip when we got back and were planning another trip for the following April. December was just the 3 of us and April was 5 of us again. In June my DW asked me if I would mind if she used some points to go to WDW with her father and our daughter. I couldn't get the time off from work since I have 2 jobs and limited time off. I said of course not go and have fun it was only for 4 days 3 nights and us here in NJ got Hurricane Irene to hit us so it was a good thing I was home...anyway after all said and done DW came home and even though she had a great time she told me it wasn't the same experience with out me there....if I could wear an S on my chest I would. DW and DD now almost 9 I don't think would go with out me and I wouldn't want to go with out them, I loved WDW as a child in the early 80's but I love it more now as a Dad and husband. We had our alone trips as a young couple but now its a family and I wouldn't have it any other way.