moms help~reasons to be happy having a boy

[Andona]

I had no real strong preferences - boy or girl - with my first. Our main concern was a healthy baby. However, I think that subconciously I just expected to have a girl - I was a girl and I didn't think boys

When DS1 was born it was the most exciting moment of my life . A day after he was born there was one of those magic moments in time that still sticks strongly in my mind 22 years later -I sat in the hospital room at 3 am in the morning just after I'd fed him. I sat there and touched my lips to his warm soft head (aside:- isn't it amazing how warm those little bald heads are!) and was flooded with this amazing feeling of love and thought - "Wow, he's a boy but it just doesn't make any difference!!! It really doesn't matter what sex they are! So this is mother love! "

You learn so many things as a parent and that experience was one of the first of my revelations. You really do love them just the way they are ( and believe me, when they're vomiting on your new carpet at 2am in the morning and you haven't slept in 36 hours - it's just as well that you love them so much!)

I was blessed with a daughter and another son and they are all so different to each other and they're all wonderful. I was thrilled to have a daughter a few years later and it was great fun to dress her in pretty pink frills ( too many - she now loathes the colour!) We share tastes in movies and girly things and we share shoes - she steals my makeup etc and I dread the days she has PMS. I love her dearly and feel so lucky to have her.

However, I have a very, very, very special bond with both my sons - that special mother/son bond. There is absolutely nothing like it.

Tell your friend that it will be wonderful

Andona
P.S. A big plus - she won't have to spend hours sewing sequins on to dance costumes . I blame my lousy eyesight on being mother to a daughter.

 

[letthewookiewin]

With a boy during the teenage years you only have to worry about one boy with a girl you have to worry about ALL the boys.

That's what I was thinking when I read the original post. If you have a girl you have no control over how the boys treat her. Having boys, I can teach them to treat every girl like a princess. It's not just my job to raise them, but to raise them to be little gentlemen that treat women with respect and like princesses.
I don't have any girls, so no princess stuff for us. However watching my DS's and DH play Transformers together more than makes up for it. So no princess stuff for our house, but we have pirates and samuri's (my DS especially DS9 are really into samuri's and how they lived).

 

[marcyinPA]

I am blessed enough to have 2 boys and 2 girls (all grown). Great reasons to have a boy.



2. You have guys that can fix things and build things for you for free (Make sure they sign up for shop in school....you get neat stuff).

I had to LOL at this...so true!! My DS is in 8th grade this year. So far, since 6th grade, I've received a letter holder made of wood that says MOM (cut out of the wood), a metal recipe holder, a wood shelf that fits the PS2 games, and a wood box! He is so proud of his work, and so am I (he's not the most artistic OR coordinated kid in the world, so these things are particularly special to me!)

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

We have two of each, when my first was a girl I assumed I'd be like my mother and have only girls, when they told us at our 20 week scan DS5 was going to be a boy my response was "No, I have girls, I'm a girl, my mother is a girl, my sister is a girl..." to which the sonographer pointed at DH and said "I assume he was a boy" :laughing I was bewildered at the idea of raising a boy, my daughter was nearly six so going back to baby stage was daunting enough let alone with a "new sort" and my mother had no idea what to do with boys either... yep, we were worried.

I adore all my kids but my relationship with my boys is so much easier, it's less dramatic, it's less confrontational, it's alot more openly loving (DS5 is autistic and is very mommy) boys can be more physically challenging but for me they've been less emotionally challenging than the girls have. I adore watching my husband be able to do the father and son things with them, he's a fantastic dad to all four kids but having been raised without a father himself there's alot of things he is enjoying teaching our boys (he's very protective of the girls for the same reason too) I love seeing MY dad with the boys, my parents only have myself and my sister and so DS5 being born on my parents wedding anniversary was a wonderful thing- around WDW my dad took so many photos of the boys "being boys" because on his trip with us as kids everything was princesses and girly

My mother says I'm lucky as "A daughter is a daughter until she becomes a wife but a son loves his mother for all of her life" (and as DS5 is adament he will get married have four children and still live with me she could be onto something LOL)

 

[nonzerosum]

Boys have such tender hearts. The other day my 2 year old held my cheeks in his tiny hands and said "you make me so happy, mommy." He felt it in the moment, so he said it. Today was rainy and my hair went curly. My son noticed (who says men don't notice) and said "you pretty with curls, mommy." Maybe all boys aren't so sweet, but daily I want to eat mine up. My daughter has a very different way of showing her love--it's not nearly as accessible or transparent. My son makes my heart melt and I was so not prepared for how strongly I would identify with him. I didn't really get boys until I had one and now I can see how delicious they are. Also, their toys are cheaper, more fun, they actually play with them, and they don't encourage them to grow up faster than they should (anyone looked at the Cheetah Girls lately? I'm no puritan, but really.)

 

[bellebud]

"A daughter is a daughter until she becomes a wife but a son loves his mother for all of her life"

this struck me, because I always heard it as "A daughter is a daughter all of her life, a son is a son until he takes a wife"

i'm sure there are many versions...

anyway, I have 1 of each, and the drama w/ girls is SO true!

here's a funny story to tell your friend... ds was around 3, and we were always saying eat good food, drink milk, and your muscles will grow. one night we're getting ready for bed in my bathroom, ds is on a stool, naked, leaning against the sink/counter brushing his teeth. his leaning and brushing caused something very obvious to happen (i'm trying to keep this clean, i know it's a family board), and he looks down and turns to me and says SO excited "mom! do you know why that grew?!?!?!?" to which i replied the classic "ummmm..." (not really wanting to get into anything technical), and he says SO proudly "because I drank my milk tonight!!!" I burst out laughing!

boys and their bodies - I think it's one of the funniest things about having a boy - hearing ds7 and his friends talk about themselves, their body parts, who is 'shooting' who, doing silly dances regarding all that, putting the garden hose between their legs and shooting full blast and just dying laughing - it's just stuff girls never experienced growing up, so i guess it's just so much more funny to me than dh (he thinks it's all funny too, but i'm just always amazed at the stuff that comes out of their mouths - moreso than dd and her friends, since i've btdt myself many years ago). having a girl for a mom is sort of getting to relive a lot of your own childhood (dolls, makeup, hair, etc) which is of course wonderful, but having a boy is getting to experience a whole other side of life. I had 2 brothers growing up, but it's such a more intimate experience having a son than having male friends, brothers or a dh.

or maybe don't tell her all this yet, because it could be scary to someone who doesn't have a son yet.

 

[princess&her4princes]

With a boy during the teenage years you only have to worry about one boy with a girl you have to worry about ALL the boys.

As a Mom of THREE little BOYS I love this!! Never heard it before but how true!!

 

[nessz79]

We have two of each, when my first was a girl I assumed I'd be like my mother and have only girls, when they told us at our 20 week scan DS5 was going to be a boy my response was "No, I have girls, I'm a girl, my mother is a girl, my sister is a girl..." to which the sonographer pointed at DH and said "I assume he was a boy" :laughing I was bewildered at the idea of raising a boy, my daughter was nearly six so going back to baby stage was daunting enough let alone with a "new sort" and my mother had no idea what to do with boys either... yep, we were worried.

I adore all my kids but my relationship with my boys is so much easier, it's less dramatic, it's less confrontational, it's alot more openly loving (DS5 is autistic and is very mommy) boys can be more physically challenging but for me they've been less emotionally challenging than the girls have. I adore watching my husband be able to do the father and son things with them, he's a fantastic dad to all four kids but having been raised without a father himself there's alot of things he is enjoying teaching our boys (he's very protective of the girls for the same reason too) I love seeing MY dad with the boys, my parents only have myself and my sister and so DS5 being born on my parents wedding anniversary was a wonderful thing- around WDW my dad took so many photos of the boys "being boys" because on his trip with us as kids everything was princesses and girly

My mother says I'm lucky as "A daughter is a daughter until she becomes a wife but a son loves his mother for all of her life" (and as DS5 is adament he will get married have four children and still live with me she could be onto something LOL)

Ditto the bold there. It's so much fun for my dad! He only had 2 girls. It's a blash watching them interact.

 

[gr8leg8]

It's really hard to be told what you are having and then have that change. You start imagining what the child will look like and you really settle into the idea of having that child. When you are told that the initial information was wrong, it can be devastating at first. You feel like you lost something because the child you were imagining is gone, even though it never existed. But, then you get your head around it and start imagining what you will have and everything is fine again.

I can totally understand what your co-worker is going through because I was initially told my 2nd child was a girl (my 1st is a boy). I started buying pink things and thinking of her as "Katie." For several months, I carried my "girl." At 37 weeks, another ultrasound revealed that Katie was, in fact, a healthy boy. It was a huge shock. It's not that I wouldn't want and love another boy, it's just that I felt like Katie was already part of our family and suddenly she was gone. I packed up the pink things and cried a few times. Then we started talking about boy names and taking out all of our first boy's little clothes.

I had him a week later and we named him Ryan. I couldn't love him any more than I do and don't know what I would have done if he hadn't come into our lives. I love that my boys each have a brother to grow up with.

So, what your co-worker is feeling is a very real sense of loss. But, tell her that she will get over it and move on. She will love her new son just as much as she loves her other boys. She may feel like she lost something but she's also gained something new - a brand new son that she hadn't imagined would be hers. I understand what she's going through but can assure her that it will turn out just fine.

I loved this post

It sounds like you are already doing a wonderful job of being a caring and listening friend.
Is there something you like to do together outside work?
a girls get together: Mani/pedi or ice cream and a movie
Time with a girlfriend can do wonders.

 

[musclemouse]

OUCH! Yes they are cute little buggers, aren't they. We just had a fun little chase through the house which had me crashing my little toe into the corner of a door nearly tearing the baby off! I think it might be broken ouch.

I don't know what it's like to have a little girl but I hear they are very dramatic little princesses. My boys are no princes mind you. They do have quite a temper. They whine too, just like little girls.

I too was one of those mothers who were a little disappointed when finding out we were having a boy. Mostly for my husband because he wanted a girl. I felt like I let him down HUGE! I was afraid to face him. Even though it was actually all his fault . But we grew to adore the little boy growing inside me. John cried the moment he saw him. I always wanted boys since I was a girl. I was a tom-boy which is why. I don't know how to play with Barbies and all that pink stuff

Now I get to play with Transformers (ironically my husband can't transform level 1! I want to get a level four just to see if I can do it! LOL).

Oh another thing about boys is they love their mama's for certain! Each of mine must cuddle with me at nights end. When they are hurt they turn to me.

I love my baby boys!

Let's see:

Boys force you to get up and get moving!

You will become less of a neat freak when you have boys

You don't have to pay for weddings

They won't steal moms clothes

Dads get to have a little helper

You'll quickly discover that brown is the in color

You'll get a great education in bugs, snakes, and frogs

Dad will have an excuse to buy and play with legos, transformers, water guns, and video games

Boys let mom have an excuse to get out and get dirty!!


I am a mom of three boys and one girl. Each is truly unique and such a blessing!!

 

[the Fidge]

i need help moms!!

a coworker is 5mths pregnant with her 1st

she was told about a 1 1/2 ago that it was a girl & she had a 2nd ultrsound today & its a BOY !!

she & her DH are devastated (DH has 2 boys from previous marriage)
at least its healthy!!

so what im looking for is a FUN & CUTE list to give her titled
"Why you will love having a boy"(or something like that)

so pretend your Dave Letterman & lets here those cute reasons why she will love to have a boy!!!

OK so have you complied your list ?? Would love to see what you put together and your coworkers response!

 

[kileybeth]

did not read all your responses but just a thought. I have four boys. Every single one of them is as different as all get out, no two alike! I have two girls and altho I am thrilled to pieces with each of them as well? They are so stinkin' much like me it is crazy some times!

I understand her sense of "loss" though, real or imagined. I carried twins for most of my fist semester and then the unthinkable happened. One of the sacs ripped, and I had to go for repeated ultrasounds week after week and watch as one of my little babies heart stopped beating and their sac reduced itself to nothing all the while wondering if the tear would permeate the other sac. It did not and I have one gorgeous son but "the lose" is always there. You so just move on but give her a bit to get over it.

I am more upset that a Ultra sound tech gave her info if they could not be completely 100% sure. That just stinks! I've had to "wait for the next visit/ultrasound" to find out and boy am I glad it has always been so certain.

 

[3jsmommy]

Tell her to attend a birthday party with 20...nine year old girls !!
I'm serious....it'll cure her!!
At my nieces party this year I couldn't believe how annoying a big group of girls can be. There were three boys from her class there, basically just playing with a ball & chasing each other around. They included my three younger boys in their games.(acting like actual kids) The girls on the other hand, were dancing like they were in a club, screaming & screeching the whole time, forming cliques & being catty & just in general trying to act like mini (very loud) 19 year olds.
The whole way home from my nieces party I was telling my three boys how much I loved them, and that I was the luckiest mom in the world!

 

[Grendalynn]

I didnt read all of the posts but my first reaction is... WOW!

I have 3 boys and wouldnt trade it for the world. Would DH & I like to have a daughter? Well sure! But it didnt happen that way... I could continue to have babies until I was blessed with a girl, but I wanted 3 children and 3 children is what I got. I am 4th of 5 girls and know that the more kids you have doesnt always ensure a different sex. I do have 4 beautiful nieces so far, so I am still able to get my girl-fix. There are many women out there that would give most anything to get pregnant and carry to term, this girl shouldnt look a gift-horse in the mouth so to speak, she should feel blessed just to know that she is able to have kids.

When I decided to get pregnant, I wanted a baby, and that is what I got. Some days they are demons, monsters, princes or pirates, but I wouldnt trade it for the world...

 

[santa's surpriz]

I admit I was giddy when I found out I was having a girl! However, little did I know how cruel payback would be!! She is now 6, and I would not have exchanged my life for a boy. But there are drawbacks:
-Little girls develop attitudes at en early age!
-Girl toys always seem to have tiny pieces that jam up the vacuum.
-Girls are so dramatic!
-WDW gets a little creepy after 5 days of strangers calling her "beautiful lil' princcess!"
-Did I mention payback is cruel?
-Girls develop a sense of 13 before you are ready for it!

 

[mjantz]

For those who said boys don't have PMS/mood swings, you've not met my DS. That boy has become as moody as the day is long. And that boy 'funk' that they get after being outside too long. Sometimes there's not enough Axe to cover up that stench!!

On a more positive note, boys are fun. My DS broke his hand awhile back & had to have surgery. His favorite thing now is that he has a SCAR!! He was actually slightly disappointed that it wasn't larger.
I'll admit I was a bit nervous when DS was born & we discovered he was a boy. Only because I'm a girl & was worried I would not know how to raise a boy. But, I seem to have done OK so far (along with DH). He's well adjusted, fun & changing every day. And, as others have said, the clothes are definitely cheaper.

 

[Grendalynn]

For those who said boys don't have PMS/mood swings, you've not met my DS. That boy has become as moody as the day is long.....

..... And, as others have said, the clothes are definitely cheaper.

ITA! I have 3 boys and ther are soooo very different. DS5 is so moody! Its a personalitytrait, not a gender trait! DS9 is so easy going and mloow in comparison. Not really sure where DS2 will fall...

As I have always said - Boys are cheaper for teh most part, especially when it comes to cloths, hair and make up. Maybe not so much when it comes to cars, four wheelers, sports equiment and baskeball/football sneakers! AND - I get to be the only princess in the house! More boys to to yard work so I dont have to! Ok, I have to get back to work now!

 

[mom2princessj]

I do know how she feels. I got pregnant 6 mos after dd was born. it was quite a shock and I was not ready for it. I kept telling myself that dd would have a sister (LOL long standing joke btw dh and I was that he could not produce boys) and all would be ok...I'd handle it fine. Well at 14 weeks imagine my shock to find out dd's sister would actually be a brother
I was disappointed at first but eventually I looked at the positives of having a boy and I was good.
I can tell you that today almost 4 years later I'm totally in love with my little boy. He's completely opposite of my dd. He's difficult and loud. He's full energy all the time. But he's very, very loving. Each gender has good points and difficult ones. I do feel lucky that I get to raise both even on those difficult days with my son when I'm ready to pull my hair out. I know my son is difficult now but probably the roles will reverse and I will be thanking my lucky stars that I have only one dd as I know girls are dramatic (she already is) and will be more difficult in the pre-teen and teenage years.
Good luck to her. Once she sees his little face she'll be in love and all will be forgotten!

 

[pinktink83]

It completely natural to feel disappointed about the gender of your baby, especially if you were really hoping for one over the other, and this is your last pregnancy. Of course every mom wants a little girl to share her same fantasies and dreams with. Of course every dad wants that little girl who will have him wrapped around her pinky. The fact that they ARE disappointed shows how much they would love a little girl...not that they "despise" boys. They were just ready for a new experience and it sounds like they won't be having anymore kids. I'd be disappointed, too, but of course by the time the baby gets here they won't be able to imagine life any other way.

As to that dad who "couldnt even hold his little girls" well....thats obviously an anomaly, thats not exactly your everyday typical thing. Most dads I know are excited about having a boy or a girl, even as much as they tease and joke about having a BOY. I think they are just excited (if not more!) when they get that little girl instead!!!!

I dont think it helps at all when we as women start judging each other over things like that. I'm sure she is grateful she is having a baby, but that initial shock is hard to take. They already had it set in their minds that it was a girl. I'm sure it would have been different if they had found out it was a boy right away.

 

[disneymomof2boyz]

I love, love, love this thread!!
Makes me appreciate my little boys sooo much!
Thanks....