Moms. does it make you smile when a pregnant woman says this?

[GinnyEmma]

I agree. New moms don't need a load of guilt on top of all else.

 

[minkydog]

I have three children and cloth diapered them, didn't use bottles and didn't use pacifers. I don't think any of those criteria are particularly difficult to achieve. I also made my own baby food- some of it grown from my own organic vegetables..

I didn't use a schedule, but overall don't see anything wrong with what your friend is going to do.

I agree, totally doable. I had two in diapers and part of that time I didn't have a dryer, so everything went on the clothesline. Now I wasn't totally crunchy--I did use some commercial baby food for those times when I was away from home. But we always had a garden, so it wasn't any trouble to make organic baby foods. None of my babies would take pacifiers, so that was a moot issue.

My stupidest pre-baby statement has to be "MY baby will never be allowed to cry." Oy~that lasted less than 4 minutes. I did bottlefeed Christian, because he had feeding issues--he couldn't swallow probably and needed very thickend feedings. Even so, I managed to also breastfeed him twice a day until he was a year old.

 

[mnrose]

Everyone is a perfect parent when they don't have kids.

Truer words have never been spoken. I, too, was going to do everything "right" and use cloth diapers, breastfeed etc. Then I got twins. Both of whom were very tiny at birth. I used cloth diapers until my diaper service (received as a gift) ran out. I was never so happy as the day I switched to cloth diapers. I simply did not have time to do all the laundry associated with cloth diaper usage (I changed outfits and sheets ALL.THE.TIME). And, breastfeeding preemie newborn twins simply wasn't in the cards. I am proud to say I pumped for a long time, and breastfed one twin for a long time, but my mostly bottle fed kids are doing just fine, thank you.

There are way bigger things to worry about in raising kids than diapers and formula.

 

[HelenePA]

Parenting is SOOOOO easy before you have kids! My first dd didn't watch tv til she was 1 then we discovered the wonderful world of sesame street. Then I wouldn't let them watch spongebob As I write this he's on in the backround... I also said I'd never breastfeed or cloth diaper.. yeah wrong again... Oh co sleeping!! Never would do that either.. I sleep with at least one little child a night... The big one was I would never have more than 1 kid.. boy how wrong was i?

cloth diapering is easy but very expensive at first. those suckers aren't cheap! And my first son was trained by 19months this son wants no part of of it yet... off to change a diaper and ruin the enviorment some more with a pamper...

 

[jodifla]

Well, maybe she'll keep her edicts. You never know.

Me, I went into having a baby at 40 knowing from all my friends that you need to be flexible.

I planned to breastfeed, didn't work out past about 3 months. I was felt guilty with all the incredible pressure to breastfeed that's out there these days. But one the happiest days of my life was the day I decided to give up breastfeeding! I pumped several weeks after that though and just used bottles.

Put my child on a schedule...he slept through the night at about 6 weeks.

Just did the jarred baby food. Making my own wasn't important to me.

Went back to work 2 weeks EARLY from my maternity leave. I was running through my vacation time to stay home, and I wanted to save it for later in the year.

 

[jodifla]

Has there been a study? Do you have a link?

Consumer Reports did this study years ago. It took so much water to wash the diapers that the environmental impact was about even.

Here's a more recent report:
http://cdn.consumerreports.org/cro/...ce/diaper-guide/cloth-vs-disposable/index.htm

 

[disney1990]

My cousin is 9 months pregnant, and when we visited with her yesterday, she told me that she will NEVER use disposable diapers, bottles or a pacifier. She also said she will grow her own organic vegetables and make all her own baby food.

The part that cracked me up is that she said she will be putting the baby on a strict schedule the minute he/she is born to ensure that the baby sleeps through the night.

I love her to death, and she is a super smart woman who owns her own very successful business, but I didn't want to burst her bubble by telling her that babies have their own plans and make their own schedules for the most part. She is 31, so it isn't like she is immature. She has planned for this baby for several years, and has wonderful intentions.

It just made me smile to hear her say all that. I hope for her sake that everthing works out perfectly, but it's hard to picture her washing out all those cloth diapers (she said she won't use a diaper service) and still being able to devote most of her time to running her business. I think she is in for a rude awakening though, and hopefully won't crack if something doesn't go perfectly.

As for me, I could not have existed without the pacifier at the very least! I understand her wanting to breastfeed, but botlles would still come in handy if she wants her husband to help sometimes. I guess we will see what happens.

Wow, that is a lot. We did no disposable diapers, no bottles and no pacifiers. But we didn't grow our own food and our daughter dictated her schedule, at least for a while. The main problem is, I couldn't go anyplace without her and she, therefore, became very emotionally dependent on me. So much that, if I tried to leave (when she was about age one) she would cry uncontrollably.

 

[2girls4me]

Eh, she'll learn. Its very easy to say what you are "planning" vs. What actuallybhappens when the baby comes. But most babies don't sttn right away, so I think that will blow up on her.

 

[RainbowBrite]

I agree completely - unless you've had a baby, you have no idea. I really hate hearing childless people judging peole about parenting because until you've done it, your opinion doesn't hold water no matter how many kids you've babysat.

I kind of take offense to this. I've been a nanny for 9 years and taken care of many infants for up to 10 hours a day. I've helped many parents get their infants on successful schedules, I've helped many parents manage their "problem child", etc. So, at least to them my opinion DOES matter.

 

[Becky2005]

It does amaze me though how many are using cloth diapers these days . I have quite a few girlfriends happily washing diapers daily and If I were to have another I most likely would jump on the bandwagon. Im not so green , just like to save money and that is one big way of doing it!

I wish her luck and the ability to be flexible .

That made me laugh because disposables came out I think sometime after my brother was born (not sure if he was out of diapers or not) but my mom put me in disposable diapers so fast it would make your head spin! There is no way she would ever go back to cloth diapers unless she absolutely had no choice whatsoever -- of course, they also used diaper pins & apparently she stuck my brother & sister a few times since I don't think there was Velcro then either.

I think I mentioned cloth in passing once and my mother went NO WAY, NO HOW was she going to deal with cloth diapers (and she was watching DD then) and then I got to hear about the hours she spent washing them, going out & hanging them on the line to dry IN JANUARY (my sister was a November baby) because she heard drying them in the dryer was bad for them, etc.....

I just smile and nod. Occassionally people do stick to what they say they are going to do! None of my kids had pacifiers....not that I really was against them but really didn't want to deal with them either. DD wouldn't take one and when someone said "you have to hold it in their mouth" so they would take it -- I thought forget that! Why start! It was never an issue for me. Since DD never had one, never really had a need to use one with the other kids either.

 

[GinnyEmma]

I kind of take offense to this. I've been a nanny for 9 years and taken care of many infants for up to 10 hours a day. I've helped many parents get their infants on successful schedules, I've helped many parents manage their "problem child", etc. So, at least to them my opinion DOES matter.

Being a nanny is nothing like parenting. Been there done that. And I worked around the clock. It made me think I knew something. Lol.

 

[bdcp]

After watching my mother rinse and wash diapers for my baby sister in the late 60's I swore never and I never did lol. When we moved 1400 miles from TX to MD when my little sis was 3 months old, my mom used pampers(diaper pins and no elastic legs) and I was won over. I was 8. It was gross to watch her rinse diapers out in the toilet and flush and then toss them in the hamper to be washed later. I raised two boys and used pampers, huggies, whatever, at first, no elastic (1983). Disposables have come a long, long way. My boys were breast fed for a few months, but both had bottles. No pacifiers but that's because they preferred their index fingers. As for making my own food, I did some, but not all. They were also eating table food by 6 months. The best laid plans...

Guess what? They are healthy, productive adults today. The fact is, kids who wear cloth diapers, never have a bottle or pacifier will not be "better" than kids who did the opposite. There are a lot more things to worry about when raising kids. LOL

 

[si-am]

I kind of take offense to this. I've been a nanny for 9 years and taken care of many infants for up to 10 hours a day. I've helped many parents get their infants on successful schedules, I've helped many parents manage their "problem child", etc. So, at least to them my opinion DOES matter.

Don't you know? Until you have kids, you're not allowed any opinions on anything child-related. When you're sitting at the lunch table with a bunch of moms, you just have to keep your mouth shut and not contribute ANYTHING because your ideas are worthless, no matter how many kids you've been around.

 

[bdcp]

Don't you know? Until you have kids, you're not allowed any opinions on anything child-related. When you're sitting at the lunch table with a bunch of moms, you just have to keep your mouth shut and not contribute ANYTHING because your ideas are worthless, no matter how many kids you've been around.

The reality is, until you have kids, you really have no clue. Opinions are fine, but in reality, they mean nothing.

I love the woman I used to work with who had a dog. Everytime the subject of kids came up, her dog would come up. Apparently her dog could read, write, speak, etc. lol. It was ridiculous that she thought it was the same thing.

 

[si-am]

The reality is, until you have kids, you really have no clue. Opinions are fine, but in reality, they mean nothing.

I love the woman I used to work with who had a dog. Everytime the subject of kids came up, her dog would come up. Apparently her dog could read, write, speak, etc. lol. It was ridiculous that she thought it was the same thing.

That's probably because moms tend to talk about kids constantly, leaving those without kids kind of grasping at straws to find ANYTHING to say. Because if you DO try to contribute to the kid conversation, you get "until you have kids, you have no clue."

As you just proved.

 

[focusondisney]

My only "grand plan" was to breastfeed, and that did NOT turn out as I had hoped. My son would not latch, and even after pumping 6 or 7 times a day, 20 minutes at a time, for the first 2 weeks, and my milk never really coming in (I would get a grand total of about 2oz per day on a good day), I threw in the towel. I fet like a complete failure. I wish the nursing Nazis at the hospital didn't mess with my mind so much that I felt so badly when this didn't work out.

As a hospital maternity nurse, may I tell you how offensive your "nursing Nazi" term is. I don't think you would like anyone to call you a predjuiced killer of innocent people, would you?

Nurses are under pressure to promote/ encourage & teach about breastfeeding. The World Health Organization & the American Acedemy of Pediatrics & the US government (WIC program) have set standards for hospitals re: breastfeeding statistics.

I work in a high risk inner city hospital with many different types of patients. Some want to BF, many do not. Yet we get compared (unfavorably, of course) to our sister hospital in the suburbs. Most of our patients are young, several different minority groups, recent immigrants & a fair number with drug problems. The other hospital has mainly middle or upper middle class , college educated patients. We are constantly being "lectured" about our poor BF statistics.

Even with patients, it often seems we can do nothing right. If we encourage the mom to not give a bottle & exclusively BF, we are pressuring. If we let a mom give a bottle, we are not supportive.


I am sorry you weren't able to BF. I am glad I was able to nurse my 2. Personally, I encourage my patients in whatever choice they make. I think it is much more important for a baby to have a happy, relaxed mom, however it is being fed. I hope you will just reconsider your use of a very inappropriate & offensive term when referring to anyone, let alone medical professionals trying their best to do their jobs.




Off my soapbox. Back to the topic at hand.....

 

[sissy_ib]

That's probably because moms tend to talk about kids constantly, leaving those without kids kind of grasping at straws to find ANYTHING to say. Because if you DO try to contribute to the kid conversation, you get "until you have kids, you have no clue."

As you just proved.

As someone without children I have to say you are incredibly rude. Why go on to a thread about parenting and bash people for talking about raising their kids? Go get some childless friends if you don't want to talk about children.

I am smart enough to understand I know NOTHING about raising a child. Do I see some parents and want to smack them upside the head? Well, yes. But for serious things not what kind of diapers they use. Everyone has to do what is best for their family. I'm sure if and when I have kids I will make declarations and then throw them to the side. But as long as a parent is doing what they think is best for their kid who is anyone else to judge?

 

[RainbowBrite]

The reality is, until you have kids, you really have no clue. Opinions are fine, but in reality, they mean nothing.

I love the woman I used to work with who had a dog. Everytime the subject of kids came up, her dog would come up. Apparently her dog could read, write, speak, etc. lol. It was ridiculous that she thought it was the same thing.

Wrong, I DO have a clue. The parents I work for call me "the baby whisperer". Perhaps you'd like to ask them if my opinion means something? I'm not just spouting off crap I know nothing about. I've taken care of many, many babies.

 

[diznygirl]

As a hospital maternity nurse, may I tell you how offensive your "nursing Nazi" term is. I don't think you would like anyone to call you a predjuiced killer of innocent people, would you?

Nurses are under pressure to promote/ encourage & teach about breastfeeding. The World Health Organization & the American Acedemy of Pediatrics & the US government (WIC program) have set standards for hospitals re: breastfeeding statistics.

I work in a high risk inner city hospital with many different types of patients. Some want to BF, many do not. Yet we get compared (unfavorably, of course) to our sister hospital in the suburbs. Most of our patients are young, several different minority groups, recent immigrants & a fair number with drug problems. The other hospital has mainly middle or upper middle class , college educated patients. We are constantly being "lectured" about our poor BF statistics.

Even with patients, it often seems we can do nothing right. If we encourage the mom to not give a bottle & exclusively BF, we are pressuring. If we let a mom give a bottle, we are not supportive.


I am sorry you weren't able to BF. I am glad I was able to nurse my 2. Personally, I encourage my patients in whatever choice they make. I think it is much more important for a baby to have a happy, relaxed mom, however it is being fed. I hope you will just reconsider your use of a very inappropriate & offensive term when referring to anyone, let alone medical professionals trying their best to do their jobs.




Off my soapbox. Back to the topic at hand.....

I'm pretty sure she meant "nursing" as in breastfeeding - as in lactation consultants who are not nurses. I don't think she was disparaging the Nursing Profession.

I can tell you, I met one of those lactation consultants who was militant about it - and tried to force me to feed my son. First, my ****s are mine not yours so get your hands off! Second, he wasn't hungry. The baby wouldn't open his mouth. She practically suffocated him pressing against my ****s. Crazy mom alert!! Yeah, it's all MY fault!

My babies and I got the hang of it without help and did just fine.

 

[torinsmom]

Being a nanny is nothing like parenting. Been there done that. And I worked around the clock. It made me think I knew something. Lol.

I was a nanny for quite a few years before I had my son and I totally agree. I thought I knew it all, and I was a GREAT nanny. Once I had my son, I realized I knew nothing. It is just totally different, and I don't think anyone can understand until they have lived it. And this is not taking away from the nanny who posted. I believe that the family you work for listens to you, and they should, as you are a big part of their child's life. But when that living, breathing child comes from you and is totally dependent on you for everything, it is totally different than anything you experience while you are a nanny. I used to say about the kids I nannied for "I love them like they are my own!" and I meant it. As soon as I had my son, I knew that was something I would never say again