Moms/Dads I need daycare question answered?

[KAREN55555]

Okay in a nutshell. I have a DS 4yrs old. He started a new daycare in April 2002 (we moved to a new city). I just met some parents from my ds new daycare who told me that they have seen my 4 yr old ds get off the school bus and go into the daycare alone.(daycare is on a busy street) The daycare is supposed to have a teacher waiting for him. I am so upset. I work full time 45 mins away and am sick about this situation. I have looked into another daycare and am planning on checking it out tomorrow. Here is my dilemna I want to pull my son from this daycare and put him into a new daycare asap. I'm thinking Monday if possible. I really want to mention this bus situation to his daycare now but am concerened that they may take my dislike out on him. Any suggestions?

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

Shouldn't you first discuss this with the present day care to hear their side of the story? I wouldn't hesitate to move my child if I thought he was being neglected in any way, but I also wouldn't take the word of the other parent without allowing the day care center some input.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I had a similar situation with concerns (not bus related) at my DS daycare... I did mention it, and all heck broke loose.

These places are not always receptive to parental concerns, or constructive criticism. Tell them the day you pick up your son for the LAST time.... Why invite further problems?

PS: if this daycare is supposed to be licensed or registered in any way, then this would more than likely not be allowed by the licensing agency... You could let this agency know about this as well. ( There are usually VERY strict policies regarding transfer of children into and out of daycare!!! ) There are cases of young children wandering off up the road, being located blocks away!!! As well as children not seen in the back of the bus being left there, locked in all day, etc... etc... Do let the correct authorities know about this.

PS: the day care knows about these kinds of serious policies and problems... This is why I would wait until DS was OUT of there.. No way you want to open up any big hornets nest with DS still there.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I really want to mention this bus situation to his daycare now but am concerened that they may take my dislike out on him. Any suggestions?

I'm very concerned that you suspect the daycare would take such an action. Is there any reason why you think they would punish your child for you voicing a concern?

Regardless, the #1 rule of daycare is

"If you are uneasy leaving your child there for any reason at all, then don't leave your child there."

 

[mrsv98]

Karen,

Before I took him out, I would have a face to face meeting with the director of the center. Express your concerns and ask if there is a way to remediate the situation. Tell her that you are considering removing your son for safety reasons. Try not to be confrontational because that will only make her defensive. Then ask a parent you trust to watch and see if this has been taken care of. It would be disruptive for your son to be removed from one center so abruptly, especially if he hasn't been ther that long. Obviously, if nothing is done and you are concerned about his safety, then removing him is the only answer, but I woul dtry and solve the problem first. Good luck!

 

[Wishing on a star]

On a serious thing like this, as I just mentioned, The Daycare is more than likely to DENY DENY DENY!! (especially if their license is at risk.....) I suspect that you are wanting to change daycares regardless? You never even mentioned addressing the problem with the daycare, trying to keep your son there. I tend to agree!!

Make new arrangements, then let the daycare know why on that last day. Make prior arrangments for a 'meeting' if at all possible.

PS: if it takes a week or so until new arrangments can be made, is there any way that you have somebody there, like that other parent, kind of keep and eye to see that your son gets inside safely?

 

[aahmom1]

If I was concerned for my child's safety I wouldn't take him back at all, period.

 

[KAREN55555]

I would love to confront the daycare about this issue. But as in previous response I am reluctant because of my DS. I know a teacher may not in tensionally take any hard feelings out on my son but they may do it unintentionally. And I don't want to put my son in that position. My idea was to mention something the last day before I pull him. I have never had concerns about this daycare but as a mother we all know what it's like once some one is suspected of neglecting our children. We end up getting our backs up. I realize that pulling my ds will disrupt his routine but I'd rather deal with that then leave him there and always having an uneasy feeling. I want to leave my son and feel like he is in the best possible care.

 

[Chrissi Pooh]

Personally this is something I would be going absolutely crazy about if I were you but you really have to go with what is best for your child and makes you comfortable. I worked in a daycare and let me tell you that the rules are strict, at least where I was, we always counted children getting on the van and off and there was always 2 teachers present.

I hope that you can resolve all this without causing problems for your son!! Good Luck!

 

[aprincessmom]

I'm very concerned that you suspect the daycare would take such an action. Is there any reason why you think they would punish your child for you voicing a concern?

I'm with Toby's Friend...why do you think they would punish your child for this? Have they done so in the past? Why do you suspect that they'll treat your son badly because of this? Have they done this to others?

And how well do you know the parent who reported this to you? Was it a one time thing, a constant occurence?

How can you make a decision without hearing the other side of the story?

Also, your son is 4. He can tell you what's happening to him while he's there. Has he expressed concern or anxiety about this incident?

Maybe I'm reading too much into your post but this sounds like there's other things that are causing you to come to this conclusion. That you feel you can't talk to the director of the center or your child's teacher about things that happen during his time at the center is a red flag and if you feel this way now it probably was in your mind well before this incident.

If you are that suspicious and ambivalent about your daycare provider you should remove your son. But you owe it to yourself, your son and the provider to find out the whole story.

 

[Kermit]

Have you asked your son if it's really happening? He should be able to tell you if someone is always there to meet him or not. If he is in an unsafe situation, then I agree that you should tell them the last day you pick him up there. It would be nice if you could tell them ahead of time, but really, you'd still want to pull him out anyway. If they could make a mistake that big, there's no telling what else they could be overlooking. It would also be wonderful if you could trust that they'd take what you said well, but there's just no way to know. I don't think they'd be so mean to your son that it would compromise his safety or anything like that, but some people just don't take criticism well. I used to work in daycare. All of the directors I've worked for would get right on the problem and thank you for telling them. However, when they sent a reminder out to the teachers, some of the teachers would get really cranky and roll their eyes every time you came through the doors. Unfortunately, those people may not be as nice to your son as they should be.

 

[disneyjunkie]

How do you know what the parent told you is true? Did you ask your son about it? What about the bus driver? Why not talk to the teachers and director to hear they're side of the story?

If you find out the parent wasn't telling you the truth are you still going to take your son out of the center?

Other than this, how do you feel about the center? Is your son happy? Does he get along with the staff and other children? What are your feelings about the staff?

 

[KAREN55555]

The daycare has never done anything in the past to my ds. I'm just concerned with the reaction by the teachers if I address this issue. How well will they take the criticism. Although my ds is 4 he can barely tell me what he does at school. I drop him off at daycare at 7:30am he takes the bus to "big school" from the daycare and then at 11am the school drops him off at daycare. He then spends until 4:30 - 5pm at the daycare. I have asked my son who waits for him at daycare to come off the bus and he rambles off names ranging from teachers to students, to aunts and unlces lol. He's all over the board with answers. And to everyone who has asked if there were problems before with this daycare I can tell you that the first day of school my ds and 3 other children were left at school. The daycare forgot to pick them up. The were finally picked up 45 minutes late. When I confronted the daycare about this I was told that the driver (who is a teacher at the daycare) went to the wrong school with all the first day of school confusion. I was very upset but thought it was a mistake and was satisfied with the explanation. But certainly not happy with the situation.

I will be confronting the daycare but on the last day.