Mom on Trial - Leaves child in Car for minutes

[txSleepingBeauty]

normally I would be on the side of the woman, but there was a tragic accident here in Houston just in the last couple of days. A lady left her 2 yd old in his carseat, in a locked car while she waited for her older child to get out of school. she was RIGHT there, less than 10 feet from the car. sadly the little boy managed to get out of his carseat, out of the car and into oncoming traffic. he was struck and killed. you never think little things like this will happen, but sometimes....

 

[NYBlue1]

normally I would be on the side of the woman, but there was a tragic accident here in Houston just in the last couple of days. A lady left her 2 yd old in his carseat, in a locked car while she waited for her older child to get out of school. she was RIGHT there, less than 10 feet from the car. sadly the little boy managed to get out of his carseat, out of the car and into oncoming traffic. he was struck and killed. you never think little things like this will happen, but sometimes....

Very true, they sometimes do, when talking about a 1 in a million chance of a possible scenario, would anybody want to end up the 1? Especially when their children are involved? Something to think about for sure.

 

[Olaf]

I remember this happening to me a few times, when DS was still tiny. Problems with the gas pump, had to run into the store for help, etc. There but for the Grace of God go I.

 

[blitzen2k5]

NO, she is NOT a great parent, she is a neglectful one. I don't care if her child was sleeping, bad weather outside, you don't abandon your child, even for a moment. What was she thinking? She wasn't! That child could have been taken, a car hit that car. This makes me furious.
Kathee

And she could have taken the child out of the car with her and another car jump a curb and hit the child, a stranger grab the kid and run, etc on and on and on.

Any number of bad things could have happened either way. I am a parent. And I care so much for my DD3's safety.

But the sad thing is that no matter how safe you try to make a child, things can and will go wrong. I believe in O'toole's Law. "Murphy was an optimist."

Blitz

 

[Becky2005]

The funny thing is that I live in the Chicagoland area and I never heard this story.

Me too but then again I live under a rock in the Chicagoland area. I'm always the last one hearing news.

I just keep thinking -- gee, I left my kids in the car once after I picked DD up from a Girl Scout meeting while I was chatting to the leader and another mom on her front porch who happens to have a husband as a police officer. They were in sight (and well...mine were a bit older but I still had the little one in the car). Part of that conversation was how old does a child have to be to be left home alone and apparently there is no legal age in Illinois, there are factors to consider before it would be a crime -- length of time children were left, did they have access to food/restrooms, maturity level of the child (i.e. are they old enough to take care of their needs, know how to use a phone to call 911, how many children, etc...) because after she said "there is no legal age in IL" -- I went and looked it up, we were discussing it because our kids were in the age range to wonder if we could say leave them home after-school for a short period of time.

So, if there is no legal age limit and it's all about circumstances to determine if there is child endangerment for leaving them home alone. You would think it would be the same criteria for leaving them in the car alone to determine that (i.e. how far away was the parent, how long, etc...), although I've never even let my DD just sit in the car when I've had to run in for one item at the corner store and she has turned 14. Instead I give her the money and make her run in for it and that's sometimes when it's just us 2 in the car. I have left the younger ones in the car at the school parking lot when I'm waiting on one to get out of school. I'm betting I was just as far if not farther away from my car while I'm on the sidewalk waiting but the car is always in my line of sight, I have the keys in my hand & the doors are locked. I'm not the only one either, it's fairly common especially in the winter.

I'm voted for there is either more to the story or someone definitely was overzealous in arresting the mother.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

I haven't read the whole thread yet...just a few replies. But I'd like to post my thoughts.

This story...I don't know...I don't see what the women did as wrong. It's comparable to what someone else said about leaving their kid in the car while running inside to grab the other kid. Not a huge deal (especially if they are of a certain age and stuff.)

But other things...I mean...running inside to pay at a gas station...that's a no-no for me. Just pay at the pump. If you aren't on YOUR property, I pretty much think you shouldn't leave your kids unattended at all. What this woman did was borderline for me. I partly say "no big deal" but another part of me says "I can't see myself doing that." Granted, I don't have kids yet. But I think of my sister, for example. She has two kids and she'd NEVER do it. I mean...is it really that important for you to jump out, donate money and snap a photo at that exact time?? Do it later when your child isn't trying to sleep or something.

I get really angry about people leaving kids in their car. I have a story actually. Tell me if you think this is okay or not....

Christmas Eve, 2006...Orange, CA. I was talking a walk with my husband, brother-in-law, and his girlfriend. We passed by a parked car that had two sleeping kids in it - a toddler and a baby. No parents in sight. I immediately get upset. I'm standing there thinking "WHAT?!?" A couple minutes later....a women comes out of a little restaurant/cafe place. I ask if those are her children. She says yes. I say "why are they in the car??" She says, "well, we're just right inside." THEY WERE HAVING LUNCH inside while their kids were in the car!!!! I was appauled.

So as luck would have it, we see a police car driving by. My husband, who is also upset, flags him down and tells him about it. He says he'll check it out. A little while later we are walking back towards our house. The cop sees us and says, "Everything is fine. The parents are right inside the restaurant." WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me?? I tell the cop that I still think that is unaacceptable. But apparently there wasn't much I could do at this point. I'm angry but we continue on our way. As we pass the restaurant, the wonderfully responsible (*sarcasm*) father comes outside and starts cussing and swearing at me and telling me to mind my own business.

Now, I'm a redhead and I've got a temper. So I start saying how it's sad that I'm more concerned about his kids than he is. And that it's Christmas Eve, for goodness sake! The guy starts to get in my face. Then he saw the cop walking towards us so we went back inside. What a jerk.

Over a year later and I still get upset thinking about it. It makes you wonder how many other times they've left their kids unattended.

So yeah...stuff like that just isn't okay in my mind.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

NO, she is NOT a great parent, she is a neglectful one. I don't care if her child was sleeping, bad weather outside, you don't abandon your child, even for a moment. What was she thinking? She wasn't! That child could have been taken, a car hit that car. This makes me furious.
Kathee

This is ridiculous. So if you leave your child sleeping in a crib while you go outside to check the mail - is that abandonment?

The car was locked - the odds are astronomical of someone breaking in and stealing the child while she was 10 feet away. It was raining - a car could have hit them while they were walking to the store. She was probably safer in the car, for crying out loud.

You can make up a million what ifs - it doesn't negate the fact that common sense was used by the mother, but not the officer who arrested her. This whole thing is plain stupid. I hope the charges are thrown out, and she countersues.

 

[shelly3girls]

normally I would be on the side of the woman, but there was a tragic accident here in Houston just in the last couple of days. A lady left her 2 yd old in his carseat, in a locked car while she waited for her older child to get out of school. she was RIGHT there, less than 10 feet from the car. sadly the little boy managed to get out of his carseat, out of the car and into oncoming traffic. he was struck and killed. you never think little things like this will happen, but sometimes....

I realize that kids are capable of a great deal but I don't personally understand how a 2 year old gets out of a carseat. My almost 2 DS could never unbuckle his Britax as long as he is properly restrained and the straps were tight. And even if he found a way to he would not be able to exit the car b/c of the child safety locks. This is a tragic accident but I just don't how it can happen IF the child was properly restrained.

In general I think end of school pick up is very dangerous for kids. We live in a walking districts so kids either walk home or are picked up by car. The principal actually tells the kids not to ride their bike b/c it is so dangerous with all of the cars. There are many situations where I think our children are in far more danger than the woman in the OP put her baby in.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

There are a million "what if" scenarios that people will come up to say that it was dangerous to leave that sleeping child in the car for a few minutes, but I don't see anything wrong with it. She was in plain sight, the car was locked and the child was strapped in a car seat.

I was a single mom and used to put my kids in their crib alone when I went to take a shower....someone COULD have snuck in my unlocked house and taken them and I would have never known....

this case is absurd...

I think I remember reading somewhere that's it's actually not safe to let babies sleep in carseats. Something about the straps cutting off their airways when their heads are down or something. I can't really remember. But I say good luck trying to keep a baby awake in the car! haha.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

And she could have taken the child out of the car with her and another car jump a curb and hit the child, a stranger grab the kid and run, etc on and on and on.

Any number of bad things could have happened either way. I am a parent. And I care so much for my DD3's safety.

But the sad thing is that no matter how safe you try to make a child, things can and will go wrong. I believe in O'toole's Law. "Murphy was an optimist."

Blitz

True...so many things CAN go wrong. But why tempt fate? Why make opportunites for things to go wrong? Yes...a line must be drawn or we'd all become shut-ins. But sometimes it's just better to play it safe in some situations.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Total abuse of power to ARREST her and charge her with a crime. Now, if the officer had merely had a discussion with the woman to clarify the situation and/or advise her of the law or her personal opinion/experience with the matter, fine. I don't really have a problem with that. But arresting her and accusing her of child neglect??? Can you say, PSYCHO???

 

[NYBlue1]

Total abuse of power to ARREST her and charge her with a crime. Now, if the officer had merely had a discussion with the woman to clarify the situation and/or advise her of the law or her personal opinion/experience with the matter, fine. I don't really have a problem with that. But arresting her and accusing her of child neglect??? Can you say, PSYCHO???

Again, there had to be a reason for the arrest, they had to have a crime in the first place to get to the point they did. Its not an abuse of power, you cant arrest somebody just cause you are a police officer without reason.

Should it have gone to the point it did? IMO no, should the woman have been shown why she cant do what she did, sure . Apparently somebody put a stop to this and thought better of prosecution, good all around IMO.

 

[blitzen2k5]

True...so many things CAN go wrong. But why tempt fate? Why make opportunites for things to go wrong? Yes...a line must be drawn or we'd all become shut-ins. But sometimes it's just better to play it safe in some situations.

Now we are talking about opinions. Yours is that it is safer to bring the child just to walk 10 feet, drop some coins, and then back to the car. I see it the other way around.

Yes a car could hit the car the child was in. Also a car could hit the child while walking with mom. Most likely hitting mom too. Yes someone could kidnap the child in the car. And someone could grab the kid and run off also.

We can sit here all night and come up with a ton of "What ifs" and we would both be right.

And that comment "Why tempt fate?" Well if its fate then its going to happen either way. When its your time, its your time and nothing you do or dont do is going to change that.

Blitz

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Again, there had to be a reason for the arrest, they had to have a crime in the first place to get to the point they did. Its not an abuse of power, you cant arrest somebody just cause you are a police officer without reason.

I disagree. Very rarely, I'm sure...but it happens. And a crime doesn't need to have been committed. Even a conscientious officer can believe one has been committed when it hasn't, either legally or factually (i.e., something is technically legal although the officer believes it isn't, or the person in question didn't actually commit the act specified at all). Or are you saying every single person EVER arrested has ACTUALLY committed a crime????

 

[Handbag Lady]

If this is the case...and the law...someone needs to lock my mom up for about 20 years. She often left me and my sister alone in the car while she ran errands, etc.

And yes, I turned out just fine.

 

[Mrs. Bee]

Now we are talking about opinions. Yours is that it is safer to bring the child just to walk 10 feet, drop some coins, and then back to the car. I see it the other way around.

Yes a car could hit the car the child was in. Also a car could hit the child while walking with mom. Most likely hitting mom too. Yes someone could kidnap the child in the car. And someone could grab the kid and run off also.

We can sit here all night and come up with a ton of "What ifs" and we would both be right.

And that comment "Why tempt fate?" Well if its fate then its going to happen either way. When its your time, its your time and nothing you do or dont do is going to change that.

Blitz

If you read my post at the top of this page...you'll see my opinions on the actual case with the women in the news story.

I was just talking about...things in general.

And OBVIOUSLY it's an opinion. Isn't just about everyone's thoughts on this situation OPINIONS? I think so.

 

[bburky502]

I know a little about this particular case as I work with a couple of officers who work also work part time with the Crestwood Police Department (they were not involved in this call however). They told me there is more to this story than what has been released to the press. This article is extremely one-sided. From my understanding (and again I was not there), the mother in question was out of sight of the car for more than ten minutes. A community service officer (Village employee but non-sworn) was initially called and then a sworn officer also responded. Again from what I understand, she refused to even give her name to the responding officer.

I am not saying everything the officer did was right, but I do try to keep an open mind and not immediately bash the police. And yes, I am a police officer, and one of the many things I have learned in this job is there are at least 3 sides to every story, the two primary participants each have their own side, and then there is the truth somewhere in the middle.

 

[disney kid at heart]

Here's a former thread about that case: http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1571629

As an update, Slaby is no longer employed by Glen Este, in Clermont County, she has applied for disability. I've "heard" that they are requesting changes to make leaving a child unattended in a vehicle a crime. I have NO idea what this request "means"....whether it's for a minute or 8 hours....and if death must occur, etc. I believe the prosecutor didn't file charges because she didn't intentionally leave her in the car, but it is still awful, and many in Ohio felt that she should've been charged, prosecuted.

I know she said she forgot, but when I worked there were so many times during the day I would wonder how and what the kids were doing at school and I had 6 kids. It just seems IMO that any mom wouldn't have thought of their child and a light bulb go off in her head that she was still in her car seat. It's just so tragic. What exactly does our child endangerment law mean. You would have thought if nothing else she could've been charged with that.

 

[dcgrumpy]

NO, she is NOT a great parent, she is a neglectful one. I don't care if her child was sleeping, bad weather outside, you don't abandon your child, even for a moment. What was she thinking? She wasn't! That child could have been taken, a car hit that car. This makes me furious.
Kathee

Abandon? So I assume you're attached to your children 24 hours a day?

The car was locked and she was 10 yards away. How would someone approach the car, unlock and get the child out of the carseat without her noticing?

Anytime your kids are in the car there is a risk the car could be hit. It's not like she parked the car in the middle of a highway.

 

[SydneyBristow]

I don't think she did anything wrong.