Mom against sweets in the classroom

[worm761]

For the record: I believe that the lady is crazy. I also believe that those that choose to should be allowed to pray at school. Oh and yes your child should have to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I just cannot fathom how pride in ones country is a bad thing.

As for the topic: If my DS has a birthday on a school day then a treat is sent in. Even the principal takes one. The teachers love homemade goodies. As for those that can't. Well they need to learn that they can't have it. My nephew has a very rare genetic disorder called PKU. He cannot have protein. So no eggs, flour, milk, peanuts, meat, bread. The list is endless. He is a strict vegetarian. Amazingly he made it all the way to college even though there were cupcakes sent in on other kids birthdays. He knew how to say no thank you. As a matter of fact, on his birthday his mother sent in cupcakes that HE could not eat. Though she did send in a special treat for him too. He has been this way since birth. I know that at the age of 4, when I took him by myself for the first time, He could tell me what he could and could not eat. I have never met a child with food restrictions that couldn't say no thank you, whether it was due to allergies or religious preferences or whatever. Sometimes we just need to let kids be kids.

 

[luvsJack]

Oh, good grief!! This is so ridiculous! There is nothing bad or evil about a cupcake or cookie in the classroom. The more celebrations a kid can have in school maybe it will seem more like a fun place to be instead of like the prison some kids see it as. If a kid is going to be obese from eating a sweet treat a couple of times a month (I would assume this mother doesn't allow them otherwise), then there are much worse problems than birthday celebrations at school. It just ain't gonna happen that way. And hasn't it been said a billion times that you should never completely cut out any type of food; even treats?


When my younger ds was in K they had one birthday celebration a month and everyone that had a birthday in that month brought something to share, wore a crown and had "happy birthday" sang to them. I thought it was such a neat idea that we started doing the same thing at our child care center. That way there were only 10 birthday celebrations in a school year (June and July birthdays were done close to the last day of school).

 

[luvsJack]

For the record: I believe that the lady is crazy. I also believe that those that choose to should be allowed to pray at school. Oh and yes your child should have to say the Pledge of Allegiance. I just cannot fathom how pride in ones country is a bad thing.

 

[MineMail]

I'm sorry, but that little bit caused me to blow a breaker. Luckily, I got it flipped back on before my entire body shut down.

That being said, how is learning to say 'no' a bad thing?

"Hey kid, take this pill."
"No."

"Hey kid, can you help me find my puppy?"
"No."

"Hey kid, get in the car'"
"No."

"Hey kid, do you want to hold my dad's cool gun."
"No."

"Hey kid, eat this thing that your parents don't want you to have."
"No."

'No' should be on the top of the list of things to teach your school aged children, no?

YES! I'm going to review your list with my kids, just to be sure they 'get it.' Thanks!

It's really important to teach a child to say no to different things if s/he has allergies. One school my oldest attended had an adjoining neighbor woman who was a phenomenal gardener. Her kids attended the school and were telling the other students about some new herb she had just planted that tasted like super-sweet sugar. The neighbor was in her yard after school one day and the classmates asked her about the plant. She proved it by plucking a few leaves for them to try.

The child with the most allergies in the world (no lie - the poor thing was allergic to everything) took the leaf and stuck it in her mouth. Thankfully, her mother arrived for pickup just in time to stick her with an epipen and rush off to the hospital.

 

[MonicaInFlorida]

Yes, when I want diet advice, I turn to a control freak with an inflated ego, mommy issues, and an eating disorder.

 

[FayeW]

I would never raise a child to learn that they should never have to say no to something.

Sorry. I meant in the classroom, in this scenario, not ever in their lives. I suspect you already knew that.

 

[luvmy3]

Sorry. I meant in the classroom, not ever in their lives.

Even though I don't agree I'm glad thats what you meant. I think you may have sent shockwaves through this thread when you posted that
I do not think a child should intentionally be left out of things, but if its because of their parents rules (like no sweets) I think its a life lesson for them that their parents should be teaching them. They will always be faced with having to make a choice based on their rules and sometimes that choice may cause them to be excluded from things. I hardly think not having a few cupcakes a few times a school year will be all that detrimental to their self esteem. However I think a parent setting their child up to think that everyone should cater to them, will be a rude awakening for that child the older they get.

 

[mjkacmom]

Even though I don't agree I'm glad thats what you meant. I think you may have sent shockwaves through this thread when you posted that
I do not think a child should intentionally be left out of things, but if its because of their parents rules (like no sweets) I think its a life lesson for them that their parents should be teaching them. They will always be faced with having to make a choice based on their rules and sometimes that choice may cause them to be excluded from things. I hardly think not having a few cupcakes a few times a school year will be all that detrimental to their self esteem. However I think a parent setting their child up to think that everyone should cater to them, will be a rude awakening for that child the older they get.

At the birthday parties ds11 attends, unlimited soda is usually served. He tends to throw up if he has more than one, and throwing up doesn't bother him. However, he's been sent home, because there is no way to know if it's a virus (he always makes the toilet). My rule now is, 1 soda at a party. Yes, the other boys might be downing a few, but they don't have such a weak stomach. He's not thrilled, but that's the rule.

 

[kinntj]

I agree with her up to a point. I like that she's passionate about obesity, but she's going about it the wrong way. I like that she's persistant on the issue and she shouldn't give up if it's important to her. Swearing in meetings and throwing Valentine candy isn't going to help her cause.

She's right that people like the idea of change, but not willing to go through with it.

I wouldn't care either way if it were banned or not. Our school allows this stuff, but if it ever changed I have way bigger problems to worry about than my kids not having treats in school. Either way, not the end of the world.

 

[shellybaxter]

Search the Internet for MeMe Roth (not her real name) you will find that she has a sick and delusional idea about food. She compares eating to being raped and she admits that some days she does not eat until after 4:00PM. Obesity is as much about mental health as it is about physical health. Her "crusade" isn't helping the obese, it is likly hurting them. I wonder how her mother feels/would feel about her actions. I'm guessing she would be as ashamed as MeMe claims she was of her mom in kindergarten

 

[leighe]

I just have to confess that just as I finished reading this thread my three year old walked by with one of her play cakes from PBK. She said, "Mommy, I just put my babies to bed and they need a bedtime snack.". I cracked up thinking how horrified some of the posters on this thread would be if that were their kid!!! I should probably be dragged out in the street and stoned as a horrible mother that my three year old would ever consider pretending such a thing!

 

[FayeW]

I just have to confess that just as I finished reading this thread my three year old walked by with one of her play cakes from PBK. She said, "Mommy, I just put my babies to bed and they need a bedtime snack.". I cracked up thinking how horrified some of the posters on this thread would be if that were their kid!!! I should probably be dragged out in the street and stoned as a horrible mother that my three year old would ever consider pretending such a thing!

I think you are missing the point that nobody cares what you feed your own kid, pretend or otherwise. Nobody said that cookies or candies were evil and never to be consumed. I am sure my kids have had both of those today.

The issue was whether or not parents should send those types of snacks to school to be consumed by children other than their own, without prior notice and/or permission from the parents. If a note came home that said "Wednesday is Judy's birthday and she would like to bring cupcakes to share with her classmates", fine, then you have an opportunity to plan for that (send your child with a special snack in lieu of the cupcake, or discuss with him/her whether/why they can have that snack at school, or could take home to have later) etc.

I don't have an issue with snacks/cookies etc in moderation. My children don't have any allergies or dietary concerns so it really doesn't matter to me if they are offered something or not. However, I do understand that some parents think differently and have other needs to consider, so sending snacks for other children is just not something that is typically done here. I understand why the practice could be exclusionary and uncomfortable for some children and I just think that is really unneccessary in a classroom.

 

[IDoDis]

A school I used to teach at enacted this rule a few years ago (no sweets for birthdays). The students were encouraged to bring in healthy snacks like fruit. Some parents made treat bags that had pencils and other trinkets in it to pass out to each student in the class. At the same time, the school sent home fliers almost weekly for their fundraiser "night out" events. The participating restaurants each gave a portion of the money spent that night back to the school. The restaurants on the list were mostly junk food.

While the "no sweets" rule is still there, many of the teachers and parents ignore it and they are back to sending in the cupcakes.

From a teacher's POV, most kids don't bring in birthday treats. Maybe 35% - 40% of the class will bring in a birthday treat over the course of the school year, so it's not like the kids are eating getting cupcakes every week.

 

[mhsjax]

But there are things that don't belong in school and that's one of them. Thankfully, I don't have to deal with this because all of my children are in schools who have received the Safe Schools, Healthy Students grant and therefore this has all been put to a stop. Now, when they are invited to a party at a person's home, I can monitor exactly how much they are getting. I'm not worried about other kids--just my own.

How do you monitor your child's sugar intake at a home party, You actually stay?. the parents around here really don't want the parents hanging around at the kids birthday party. At some point you will have to let go and let him deal with the sugar on his own.

I was thinking about moving to North Carolina, but if the schools there are that uptight, no thanks.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think you are missing the point that nobody cares what you feed your own kid, pretend or otherwise. Nobody said that cookies or candies were evil and never to be consumed. I am sure my kids have had both of those today.

The issue was whether or not parents should send those types of snacks to school to be consumed by children other than their own, without prior notice and/or permission from the parents. If a note came home that said "Wednesday is Judy's birthday and she would like to bring cupcakes to share with her classmates", fine, then you have an opportunity to plan for that (send your child with a special snack in lieu of the cupcake, or discuss with him/her whether/why they can have that snack at school, or could take home to have later) etc.

I don't have an issue with snacks/cookies etc in moderation. My children don't have any allergies or dietary concerns so it really doesn't matter to me if they are offered something or not. However, I do understand that some parents think differently and have other needs to consider, so sending snacks for other children is just not something that is typically done here. I understand why the practice could be exclusionary and uncomfortable for some children and I just think that is really unneccessary in a classroom.

In this area, this has always been done, so when the calendar comes out, stating the Amy's birthday is on the 8th, you can probablly expect that she's bringing in a treat. The teachers know to tell the allergy kids ahead of time. They also get to bring in a snack when they're student of the week. It's pretty rare when kids don't bring in treats for their birthday. Don't worry, it's not uncomfortable the the children who can't eat it, because either their parents send something in, or they can grab one of the safe treats kept on hand in the classroom.

 

[PaulaSB12]

I read the article in the guardian about an interview with this woman. The last paragraphs where a bit

"I eat beans like nobody's business," she says hurriedly. "I eat more black beans than anyone else I know."

I try to pin her down to something more specific. Let's just do a sample day, I say. What about breakfast? Roth grimaces. "I hate to say this, because I think it's counter to what most people should do, but I never in my whole life have enjoyed breakfast. For me, it doesn't work as well as other things."

Right, I say. So how about lunch?

She squirms visibly. "You're taking me where I don't want to go ... What works for me doesn't work for a lot of people."

Well, you've said that, I insist, so taking that into account: lunch? Roth hesitates. "I discovered when I was in college that I work best when I get a workout in and eat after that. Sometimes I'll delay when I eat until I get a workout in. But I don't let a whole day go by without running four miles."

OK, I go on, but supposing you couldn't work out until four o'clock in the afternoon - would you not eat until after that?

"I might."

I look at my watch. It's 3.30pm. Alarm bells start to ring in my head. How about today, I ask. Have you eaten at all today?

Roth is a little quiet.

"No," she says.

There is a pause.

"But I feel great!"

What is she teaching her children that an eating disorder is good?

 

[MizTink]

the elementary school that my kids go (& went) to has what they call a "wellness program". no junk foods/sweets allowed on campus. even for birthdays. they can get creative for other treats to take in. like fresh fruit. the cafeteria gives free cupcakes once a month for all of that months birthdays.
they have extra physical activities and keep check of the kids' height, weight, etc. ( i think they check twice a year). they send home comparisons so we can see the improvements!
the cafeteria has healthier choices too. and the classrooms have earthboxes outside where they grow (then sample!) vegetables.
i think it's a great thing!!

 

[rie'smom]

The woman has an eating disorder and is trying to enforce her nuttiness on everyone else.
I do think phusical activity is important for keeping a child's weight in a good range as is moderation in eating junk food. There have been children in my kid's calsses who weren't allowed or who weren't able to have sweet treats. The parents of these kids were contacted and whenever sweets were sent to school, something was always included to give these kids so they would not feel left out. It was not a big deal to any of the kids. In fact, when a parent showed up with snacks some of the kids woud ask if they had remembered to bring a snack for ________.

 

[turkeymama]

Thank you. Can you imagine being the only one in the class left out? IMO, it's wrong that other parents would choose to make another child feel like that. Other kids would pick on them, treat them differently, etc. And we haven't even gotten into children on gluten-free diets, kids who are allergic to eggs, etc. The best thing is for parents to truly parent their own kids and decide what their kids will have. Not others.

Again, I don't have to worry about this, and the whole sugar thing with our son has just become noticeable in the past few months, but I, for one, am glad I don't have to fight that battle.

My daughter is allergic to dairy, always has been. She has never been picked on or singled out. Quite the contrary. Her classmates have always learned how to be sympathetic and sensitive to her needs (and in general, sensitive to the needs of others). I didn't realize they were being this considerate until I started getting phone calls from other moms prior to them bringing in snacks or treats. It seems all those kids you think would single out, pick on or tease learned a valuable life lesson. They go home and tell their parents to bring something safe for my daughter if they're able to. Hmmm, doesn't sound like my daughter is being left out or feeling bad. What do you think?

I can't believe this is such a controversial topic. Kids are getting fat because their parents are not helping them make wise food choices. It has nothing to do with getting a cupcake once a month at school.

 

[turkeymama]

I read the article in the guardian about an interview with this woman. The last paragraphs where a bit

"I eat beans like nobody's business," she says hurriedly. "I eat more black beans than anyone else I know."

I try to pin her down to something more specific. Let's just do a sample day, I say. What about breakfast? Roth grimaces. "I hate to say this, because I think it's counter to what most people should do, but I never in my whole life have enjoyed breakfast. For me, it doesn't work as well as other things."

Right, I say. So how about lunch?

She squirms visibly. "You're taking me where I don't want to go ... What works for me doesn't work for a lot of people."

Well, you've said that, I insist, so taking that into account: lunch? Roth hesitates. "I discovered when I was in college that I work best when I get a workout in and eat after that. Sometimes I'll delay when I eat until I get a workout in. But I don't let a whole day go by without running four miles."

OK, I go on, but supposing you couldn't work out until four o'clock in the afternoon - would you not eat until after that?

"I might."

I look at my watch. It's 3.30pm. Alarm bells start to ring in my head. How about today, I ask. Have you eaten at all today?

Roth is a little quiet.

"No," she says.

There is a pause.

"But I feel great!"

What is she teaching her children that an eating disorder is good?

I agree. Her kids are likely going to have some issues with food one day. Very sad since her intentions are good.