Mom against sweets in the classroom

[châteaux]

.

 

[DisMN]

I was curious about her so I ran her name through Google and found this endearing tidbit:



That's just sad. My entire life my mom has been obese. I have never once felt embarassed or ashamed by her. She may not be a super model, but she is an incredibly intelligent and wonderful woman. This woman has some serious issues and I feel very sorry for her family and how they must feel about all of her comments about them and obesity in general. She is a few fries short of a happy meal.

Doubt this woman eats fries, eh? LOL

What a terrible shame that she feels this way about her mother and all because her mom is overweight? Society just seems to be encouraging these anti fat people.......being fat is supposed to cause shame to the fat person and their whole family, not to mention their entire town. Why can't people be the size they want? This woman is whacked in the noggin for trying to police everyone else.

 

[aprilgail2]

Well, I have a situation for you. My kids arent allowed to have sweets. Things like gummy bears, laffy taffy, sticky things because of their teeth. My daughter's teacher gave her laffy taffy and it pulled her filling out, which in turn, cracked her tooth, and I had to pay an arm and a leg to end up getting it pulled. It was a molar that she shouldn't have had to lose for another four years! Now we need to get a spacer put in so that her teeth don't shift on that side, all because the teacher gave her the candy when I specifically said that she wasn't allowed.

My daughter can't have those either due to the fact she has braces- when the teacher gives that out for a prize for something she simply says "no thanks, I can't eat that" and that is the end of that!!! A simple no thank you works wonders!!!! I am sure the teacher did not force open your childs mouth and force her to chew the candy.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Well, I have a situation for you. My kids arent allowed to have sweets. Things like gummy bears, laffy taffy, sticky things because of their teeth. My daughter's teacher gave her laffy taffy and it pulled her filling out, which in turn, cracked her tooth, and I had to pay an arm and a leg to end up getting it pulled. It was a molar that she shouldn't have had to lose for another four years! Now we need to get a spacer put in so that her teeth don't shift on that side, all because the teacher gave her the candy when I specifically said that she wasn't allowed.

In that situation I'd be upset with the child. I assume she knows she isn't allowed to eat certain things and why. Why did she eat the taffy?

Yeah, the teacher was wrong for giving her the candy. However, the child should have just said no thanks.

 

[luvmy3]

In that situation I'd be upset with the child. I assume she knows she isn't allowed to eat certain things and why. Why did she eat the taffy?

Yeah, the teacher was wrong for giving her the candy. However, the child should have just said no thanks.

ITA, especially if the child knew exactly why she isn't supposed to have candy. You can't control everything your child is given, the only thing you can control is what your child takes. I would inform any of her teachers in the future that she can't have those things but that doesn't mean she won't get stuff from the room mom's or parties or just a friend giving her a piece of candy. She needs to no that she has to say no to it.

 

[lillygator]

wow - this woman is not healthy herself and needs a ticket on the first psychiatric train that comes by.

Thank you. Can you imagine being the only one in the class left out? IMO, it's wrong that other parents would choose to make another child feel like that. Other kids would pick on them, treat them differently, etc. And we haven't even gotten into children on gluten-free diets, kids who are allergic to eggs, etc. The best thing is for parents to truly parent their own kids and decide what their kids will have. Not others.

Again, I don't have to worry about this, and the whole sugar thing with our son has just become noticeable in the past few months, but I, for one, am glad I don't have to fight that battle.

kids are left out of things for all kinds of reasons. JW's for their religion, some kids left out of PE due to physical limitations....you learn to deal with it. In a sense you are teaching your child to be a snowflake as well since they can never be left out of anything.

And if it didn't happen at all, no one would have to deal with the kids who have allergies, the kids with diabetes, the kids who can't have cupcakes, the kids whose religions prohibit celebrations and therefore have to be removed for a portion of the day, thereby singling them out. Why are we singling kids out? Why aren't we just letting teachers teach? If I want my kids to go to a party, then I will take them to one myself. When I was in school, if cupcakes were brought in, that meant no instruction for the last 1-2 hours a day. Before the no treat ban on my kids' school, it was the same issue.

where in the world did you go to school? My goodness, never happened to be that long and never took up instructional learning time where I went nor my children so far.

Keep your (general your) celebrations at home where they belong and it won't be an issue at school. A child should never be made to feel uncomfortable or out of place in their own classroom. Particularily not so somebody else can be "celebrated".

well, if we need to do that, no learning or celebrating MLK day, Independance Day, etc....

Your entire argument is flawed as the same could be said for the "snowflake" parents who oppose birthday treats. Why should the whole class be deprived because one parent disapproves of cupcakes?

Mayeb they should keep their kids home on celebratory days!! JK!

That is different, and you know it. A child should not have to self moderate in their own classroom to appease a classmate's parents' need to celebrate their child's birthday publicly. They should not be put in the position of having to learn to say no. You want to celebrate your kid's birthday, have a party on your own time.

they should learn how to say NO!

I'm sorry, but that little bit caused me to blow a breaker. Luckily, I got it flipped back on before my entire body shut down.

That being said, how is learning to say 'no' a bad thing?

"Hey kid, take this pill."
"No."

"Hey kid, can you help me find my puppy?"
"No."

"Hey kid, get in the car'"
"No."

"Hey kid, do you want to hold my dad's cool gun."
"No."

"Hey kid, eat this thing that your parents don't want you to have."
"No."

'No' should be on the top of the list of things to teach your school aged children, no?

I think you are missing the point that nobody cares what you feed your own kid, pretend or otherwise. Nobody said that cookies or candies were evil and never to be consumed. I am sure my kids have had both of those today.

The issue was whether or not parents should send those types of snacks to school to be consumed by children other than their own, without prior notice and/or permission from the parents. If a note came home that said "Wednesday is Judy's birthday and she would like to bring cupcakes to share with her classmates", fine, then you have an opportunity to plan for that (send your child with a special snack in lieu of the cupcake, or discuss with him/her whether/why they can have that snack at school, or could take home to have later) etc.

I don't have an issue with snacks/cookies etc in moderation. My children don't have any allergies or dietary concerns so it really doesn't matter to me if they are offered something or not. However, I do understand that some parents think differently and have other needs to consider, so sending snacks for other children is just not something that is typically done here. I understand why the practice could be exclusionary and uncomfortable for some children and I just think that is really unneccessary in a classroom.

do they send notes home asking permission for everything your child does in school? They sure don't here and imagine how much time that would take up!

In that situation I'd be upset with the child. I assume she knows she isn't allowed to eat certain things and why. Why did she eat the taffy?

Yeah, the teacher was wrong for giving her the candy. However, the child should have just said no thanks.

all about learning to say no.

 

[MM27]

In that situation I'd be upset with the child. I assume she knows she isn't allowed to eat certain things and why. Why did she eat the taffy?

Yeah, the teacher was wrong for giving her the candy. However, the child should have just said no thanks.

I agree. I would remind the teacher that she shouldn't have had the candy and explain what happened, but all the blame should not be on the teacher.

I do give candy out every now and then to my students. We are allowed to in my school as long as we do it at the end of the day and they take it with them. I have two tubs. One has candy and the other one has pencils/sharpeners/erasers. They can take one item from either tub. Yes, some kids do take from the pencil tub, and nobody has ever made a negative comment or asked why they weren't taking candy.

 

[aprilgail2]

When I was in school, if cupcakes were brought in, that meant no instruction for the last 1-2 hours a day. Before the no treat ban on my kids' school, it was the same issue.

Oh please, I don't buy that for one minute. TWO HOURS wasted to eat one cupcake--I can't even buy ONE hour wasted due to a cupcake ROFLMAO. My daughters school gives out the birthday treats during the 10 minutes they get for snack time each day. Regardless of a cupcake or not they get snack time through 5th grade so it makes no difference if they snack on a cupcake or a snack they bring from home. And much of the time the kids will do whatever work they were working on while they eat their snacks.
Two hours....pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

 

[allison443]

Oh please, I don't buy that for one minute. TWO HOURS wasted to eat one cupcake--I can't even buy ONE hour wasted due to a cupcake ROFLMAO. My daughters school gives out the birthday treats during the 10 minutes they get for snack time each day. Regardless of a cupcake or not they get snack time through 5th grade so it makes no difference if they snack on a cupcake or a snack they bring from home. And much of the time the kids will do whatever work they were working on while they eat their snacks.
Two hours....pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

I agree with you! The claim that giving out cupcakes wastes two hours just makes no sense. That hyperbole kind of hurts that poster's argument, imo.

 

[allison443]

This is such an entitlement mentality and it starts in the cradle. Little Johnny's Mom brought cupcakes, so I better bring cupcakes AND soda. So now Suzie's mother brings cupcakes, soda, and candy. Then Jack's mother sends cupcakes, soda, candy and stickers.

I think it's nothing more than "keeping up with the Joneses." Can't have my kid being the only one who didn't bring treats, so I better make sure mine is better than the others.

It is truly bizarre for me, because that just isn't how it's done here, or at least not in the schools my kids attend(ed).

I'm confused, you say you have no personal experience with it, so what are you basing your entire "keeping up with the Joneses" one-upmanship theory?
Have you ever actually seen this, or are you speculating or what? Around here kids bring in cupcakes, or munchkins from Dunkin Donuts. Never seen the one-upmanship type of thing you describe. That is my personal experience.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, this thread is still going, and going...

This woman has some serious psychological issues.
Assuming that she has kids, and is responsible for keeping them fed, I would question her fitness as a parent.... Not eating all day is simply not healthy.

It is too bad that this thread has taken on a kind of immature debate.

While I am not being OCD or anything... And, I am just fine with my son having cupcakes!!!

I do see the point that the few, the maligned, here are making.
I don't think that kids (especially young kids) should sit at school all day and never have any fun, or any snacks/treats. But, seriously, I simply do not see why cupcakes, etc. should be brought in to school by parents for their little snowflakes. Aren't they gonna have enough cake (or whatever) at home, at Gramma's, at their birthday party, etc.. etc..etc...

Of course, I had a problem when, instead of making sure that the children ate the 'somewhat' nutritional lunch in the cafeteria, there is a lunch lady out in the dining room (not behind the counter) hawking blue and red and other bright colored slushies for sale, like a school carnival.

Ohhh, and they march the kids by the school concession stand once a day to see how much more money they can get them to drop on Snickers and Airheads.

Ohhhhh, not to mention that for every single holiday/occasion (from Halloween in the fall till Easter, End of school, etc.. in the spring) my son would come home from school with an incredible boatload of crap. Half of which kind of disappeared into the trash. And, I also have to mention that he would also find another boatload stash of cheap cake and candy crap for each occasion at my MIL's.

Honey, an occasional birthday cupcake isn't even on my radar when compared to this kind if issue!

This lady is bona-fide insane.
But, what is sad is that her whole cupcake fiasco is taking away from the real and valid issues that have also been mentioned on this thread.

 

[Bluestars]

If I didn't want my kids to have a cupcake at school, I would tell them to say no to cupcakes. I wouldn't try to control everyone else. As far as the amount of time it takes to serve and eat cupcakes, I don't think the entire process would take a half hour.

But I do let my kids have cupcakes at school. It's funny that even though they eat a few cupcakes or cookies now and then, none of them has had any health problems related to food. I think allowing things in moderation was the key for us.

 

[Wishing on a star]

About the one-up-manship.....

It is not direct one-up-manship per-say. Not where I live. I live in poor rural county where there are no Jones's to keep up with... and even if there were, most people couldn't even afford to try.

However, in the area my husband is from... one-up-manship is a given. It is honed as an art.

Anyhow, even if it is not true one-up-manship... Make NO mistake. Your little kid sees that Johnnie's mom came to school and they had cupcakes and candy and balloons... And, then two weeks before your kids birthday, little Mariah has her birthday cupcakes, plastic trinkets, etc... It's gonna be almost a given that your kid is gonna be wanting, and expecting, cupcakes etc.. on HIS/HER birthday.

I fell into that ONCE. When DS was in PreK... I told him he could have birthday cupcakes at school... Ended up I was sick, with a very case of bronchitis etc.. The weather was cold and windy and wet and nasty... And, yep, here I am, running around trying to get cupcakes, napkins, everything else, and get them into the school on time.

I can see why there are parents who say stop-the-madness.

 

[Bluestars]

Wishing, some things kids will just have to deal with. The same can be said for birthday parties. One girl had a large inflatable, swimming, carnival type games, pony rides, and a petting zoo at her party. She got well over 100 presents. But my daughter never asked for the same thing. It doesn't mean I would ever tell other people to stop having expensive parties. My daughter had a great time and it only cost us a birthday present. That's a win-win.

I couldn't care less if a parent wanted to send a bunch of cool stuff to school for their kid's birthday. That doesn't take anything away from my child nor would I feel like I needed to keep up. I had a lot of fun sending cupcakes to school with my kids when they were little. Until I read the Dis, I never thought it was a big deal.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhh, I am not talking about birthday parties, etc.... I have no problem if somebody else has bigger parties, vacations, etc.... I am in NO way saying that somebody else can't have, or do, something just because somebody else may not be able to. Let them have at it!!!! Don't misunderstand my attitude or put words in my mouth. I never took the attitude that nobody should do something because maybe there were others who could not.

What I AM saying, is that I agree with others that I don't know if the school classroom is the place for all of this 'special snowflake' stuff. Parents waltzing in with cupcakes and goodies to honor their special little princess or prince. I really don't think that it belongs at school. In this respect, I agree with the very few, the proud, the maligned, here on this thread.

But, again, I am not the Crazy Cupcake Lady.... I ain't gonna go protest and make national headlines

I repeat.... Believe me when I say, if my child was still in the public school, an occasional birthday cupcake would be the absolute LEAST of my concerns. Doesn't even rate my top 100. (thus the fact that my son is no longer enrolled)

 

[Pigeon]

Yes, when I want diet advice, I turn to a control freak with an inflated ego, mommy issues, and an eating disorder.

I love some of the arguments. Think of the hours of lost instructional time... Ah, that would be zero. The cupcakes are handed out at snack time just the same as the regular 10 minute snack time or the kids pick them up at lunch.

If we were so worried about lost instructional time, we could dispense with "morning meeting" and the Pledge of Indoctrination or the assemblies designed to get the kids spun up to be an unpaid salesforce for Sally Foster.

But keep the cupcakes, please. It's one small bright spot that happens less than twice a month among the sea of worksheets and standardized test prep. Heaven forbid that something vaguely celebratory ever creep in.

My 8 year old had a teacher this year who would vie for the crazy cupcake nazi. She instituted a "Biggest Loser" competition for all the teachers. She talked about her weight, her nutritionist and all her emotional and psychological issues constantly with the kids. Once a week dd would come home and announce how much Mrs. C. weighs this week. She succeeded in making all the 8 year old girls think they are fat, my dd included, whose weight is in lowest 5 percentile for her height. She wouldn't let the kids have the normal snack time that every other class in the school has. We went to the principal and at least the Biggest Loser stuff stopped.

And give me a cupcake that will be consumed in school over more crappy plastic trinkets made in China that will go straight to the landfill any day of the week.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Anyhow, even if it is not true one-up-manship... Make NO mistake. Your little kid sees that Johnnie's mom came to school and they had cupcakes and candy and balloons... And, then two weeks before your kids birthday, little Mariah has her birthday cupcakes, plastic trinkets, etc... It's gonna be almost a given that your kid is gonna be wanting, and expecting, cupcakes etc.. on HIS/HER birthday.

Kids want/expect lots of things. If parents are not able/willing to meet those wants/expectations, then they should just say no.

If they can't say no now, what happens in the teen years when the wants/expectations are much larger than a cupcake?

I don't parent based on what my son's peers are allowed to do. My decisions are based on what is best for our family (and my pocket).

 

[alexandria674]

I love some of the arguments. Think of the hours of lost instructional time... Ah, that would be zero. The cupcakes are handed out at snack time just the same as the regular 10 minute snack time or the kids pick them up at lunch.

If we were so worried about lost instructional time, we could dispense with "morning meeting" and the Pledge of Indoctrination or the assemblies designed to get the kids spun up to be an unpaid salesforce for Sally Foster.

But keep the cupcakes, please. It's one small bright spot that happens less than twice a month among the sea of worksheets and standardized test prep. Heaven forbid that something vaguely celebratory ever creep in.

My 8 year old had a teacher this year who would vie for the crazy cupcake nazi. She instituted a "Biggest Loser" competition for all the teachers. She talked about her weight, her nutritionist and all her emotional and psychological issues constantly with the kids. Once a week dd would come home and announce how much Mrs. C. weighs this week. She succeeded in making all the 8 year old girls think they are fat, my dd included, whose weight is in lowest 5 percentile for her height. She wouldn't let the kids have the normal snack time that every other class in the school has. We went to the principal and at least the Biggest Loser stuff stopped.

And give me a cupcake that will be consumed in school over more crappy plastic trinkets made in China that will go straight to the landfill any day of the week.

 

[LaurenLC]

I didn't read the article, nor did I read all the responses on the post, so I apologize if I touch on something that was addressed in the article or a previous post but.....
How about this woman be a little more concerned with the lack of PE (physical education) and recess in this country and a little less about what kids are eating for someone's birthday. I really believe that if kids were encouraged to run around a little more it might not matter how many cupcakes they eat....

 

[Blueeyes101817]

Im a kindergarten teacher and we do have treats for the kids birthdays (the families that choose to send them in). I have had kids say "no thank you" and it has never been a big deal. Some also choose to just take them home. the kids never make a big deal out of it at all.

I remember being in school and i loved bringing in treats for my birthday! im glad my students get to experience that as well