Mom against sweets in the classroom

[kellyg403]

Well, all I can say is the whole thing is a little bizarre. I personally don't have a problem with the kids eating a cupcake for a birthday party, shoot I remember back in the day we had parties for everything. Some of the best times with my mom were baking cupcakes to take to school the next day. Now, at our schools, the rule is everything has to be store bought with the ingredient labels attached for those children with allergies or unable to eat certain products. No big deal for me, I would rather that happen than nothing at all.

We have never been a 'sweet' loving family. Do we enjoy a bit from time to time, sure we do. But, really, except for birthdays or some type of celebration here at home we really don't have a lot of sweets around.

Me, personally, I think a lot of problems with obesity have to do with the kids eating lunch at 10 in the morning and getting home at 3. My boys come in starved and I have to remind them it is not dinner. Then they start on 2hours of homework and no outside time, then they move on to the video game for an hour and then dinner. They might get outside a little in the spring but in the winter heck they don't get out until the weekend most of the time. We have a block schedule so they only do PE one semester of the year in middle school and high school. Its just ludicris to me to assume the one cupcake, during snack time, is evil.

My sdd is a Jehova's Witness because her mother is now. Often times the teacher will send a note to us letting us know that little Johnny will be having cupcakes during snack time the next day. We let sdd know and she goes to the library during the snack time. In her lunch on those days I send a treat, maybe a candy bar or something I don't usually send her. She has never cared or even thought anything of it. She doesn't celebrate birthdays is all she knows and the other kids have never given her a hard time. She has never come home jealous or sad that the others had cupcakes or a birthday snack.

Kelly

 

[Pigeon]

Me, personally, I think a lot of problems with obesity have to do with the kids eating lunch at 10 in the morning and getting home at 3. My boys come in starved and I have to remind them it is not dinner. Then they start on 2hours of homework and no outside time, then they move on to the video game for an hour and then dinner. They might get outside a little in the spring but in the winter heck they don't get out until the weekend most of the time. We have a block schedule so they only do PE one semester of the year in middle school and high school. Its just ludicris to me to assume the one cupcake, during snack time, is evil.

Amen. And in our schools, the kids get 20 minutes for lunch, which includes the 10 minutes that it takes to get through the cafeteria line. A recipe for bad eating habits.

My kids don't do video games or TV during the week but seldom get any chance to play outside because of the homework overload.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Kids want/expect lots of things. If parents are not able/willing to meet those wants/expectations, then they should just say no.

If they can't say no now, what happens in the teen years when the wants/expectations are much larger than a cupcake?

I don't parent based on what my son's peers are allowed to do. My decisions are based on what is best for our family (and my pocket).

Good greif....
How many times do I have to repeat this.

This is NOT about a child saying NO.....

This is about whether I believe this little snowflake stuff belongs in school.

This is about whether or not the schools should put parents in the unfortunate position of always having to say no.


PS: I am all for parents teaching kids when to say no.
(Lest this comment be all bent out of shape and twisted and misquoted, and extra attitude/connotation added, etc... )

But, personally, I think that anyone who thinks that younger early education children have the developmental level, the fortitude, etc... to really say no to something as innocuous and tempting as a cupcake are seriously deluding themselves.

I saw a piece once on 20/20.... They brought kids into a room, one by one, for some simple made-up reason, and the adult left the room temporarily, leaving a candy bowl of M&Ms on the table. Even though the children had been told NOT to take the candy, EVERY SINGLE ONE swiped some of the m&m's.

And, for the third time... (should I bold this) I really could not care less if my son were to have a birthday cupcake at school.

What I am saying is that I agree with the few, the proud, and the maligned here, that I don't know if this kind of little snowflake stuff belongs at school... And, given the 'overload' that my child experienced at school.... I can see how parents are saying... Stop the madness... Enough is enough.

 

[Pigeon]

An average of two cupcakes per month at snack time hardly constitutes "madness" in my book.

And no, cupcakes have never been proven to be a gateway drug. Our school has always allowed the cupcakes and surprisingly it has not morphed into allowing each child to have a birthday sit down dinner with a live band and open bar for 300 of their closest friends. It's still just a freaking cupcake.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Good greif....
How many times do I have to repeat this.

This is NOT about a child saying NO.....

This is about whether I believe this little snowflake stuff belongs in school.

This is about whether or not the schools should put parents in the unfortunate position of always having to say no.


PS: I am all for parents teaching kids when to say no.
(Lest this comment be all bent out of shape and twisted and misquoted, and extra attitude/connotation added, etc... )

But, personally, I think that anyone who thinks that younger early education children have the developmental level, the fortitude, etc... to really say no to something as innocuous and tempting as a cupcake are seriously deluding themselves.

I saw a piece once on 20/20.... They brought in kids for some made-up reason, and the adult left the room temporarily, leaving a candy bowl of M&Ms on the table. Even though the children had been told NOT to take the candy, EVERY SINGLE ONE swiped some of the m&m's.

And, for the third time... I could really care less if my son were to have a birthday cupcake at school.

What I am saying is that I agree with the few, the proud, and the maligned here, that I don't know if this kind of little snowflake stuff belongs at school... And, given the 'overload' that my child exoerienced at school.... I can see how parents are saying... Stop the madness... Enough is enough.

My post wasn't about kids saying no. It was about parents saying no.

Taking cupcakes to school isn't a snowflake thing. Trying to have a policy changed because you don't want to say no to your child is.

There are parents who want policies changed for EVERYONE because they are afraid to say no to their snowflakes.

It's easier for parents to say the teacher/school won't allow XYZ. That way they can place the "blame" on someone else.

I've taught for 17 years. Believe it or not, kids are capable of saying no to sweets. I have 3 in my class this year (kindergarten) that have turned down cake all year. They will eat ice cream, but they always say no to cake.

I have another girl that will not eat jello. Whenever it's severed, she yells out "Ms. H. daddy said I can't eat jello because it has pork!"

In my experience the kids who can't/won't say no are the kids who have parents like the nutty lady in the OP.

 

[luvsJack]

If someone wants to be concerned about childhood obesity and how school's contribute to it, they seriously need to look at P.E. programs and making sure the kids are actually #1 having PE and #2 participating in some type of organized sport or exercise program during PE. They should also look at recess and break times. I comment all the time to our school officials that I think at recess and break the kids need to have jump ropes, tether ball sets, volleyball sets, etc so that they can take part in some type of activity (our grade takes break on the football field so they either walk or sit) As long as a child eats an otherwise healthy diet, a treat such as a candy bar or a cupcake is not going to hurt anything, even if its everyday. Eating a few sweets is not going to make a child obese.


Kids with allergies or other reasons that a food must be forbidden should know ahead what to say no to; and its the parents responsibility to make sure there is an alternative for your child.

When we were testing ds for adhd, we were trying different things to see if it would help. Cutting our sugar was the first thing we tried (had no effect by the way). DS's teacher gave candy as a good behavior reward at the end of the day. I took DS to the store and let him pick out several bags of sugar free candy and took these to his teacher for his reward bucket. Problem solved.

Older DS had a boy in his class that is diabetic. He had to eat at certain times and couldn't have certain things. At parties his mom always brought something that he could have (and enough to share), she made sure that the teacher had things in the classroom so that if cupcakes were brought unexpectedly, he could eat his alternative food. Problem solved.

The problem is not that some kids cannot eat certain things, the problem is parents wanting everyone else to conform to their child's rules and that's just not fair.

**I am not talking about keeping a peanut free zone for kids with this severe allergy. That, of course, is necessary.

 

[aprilgail2]

They should also look at recess and break times. I comment all the time to our school officials that I think at recess and break the kids need to have jump ropes, tether ball sets, volleyball sets, etc so that they can take part in some type of activity (our grade takes break on the football field so they either walk or sit) As long as a child eats an otherwise healthy diet, a treat such as a candy bar or a cupcake is not going to hurt anything, even if its everyday. Eating a few sweets is not going to make a child obese.


.

Our schools have bikes that they take out at recess and the kids ride bikes around the field if they want to- if not there is always a game of kick ball or tag. They have the regular playground balls, hula hoops and jump ropes too and also the playground with the monkey bars etc. They have gym three times a week too-much of it is exercise before whatever "game" they will be playing that day.. I think they should be more concerned over the amount of homework that these kids get- some nights its so much that there is no time to just getoutside and run around or ride bikes. Its homework, dinner, shower and bed for many of them!
Our school won NYS award for one of the healthiest schools, yet we still have cupcakes, class parties with candy, chocolate lollipop sales (once a year)....I think the balance is very good!

 

[turkeymama]

But, personally, I think that anyone who thinks that younger early education children have the developmental level, the fortitude, etc... to really say no to something as innocuous and tempting as a cupcake are seriously deluding themselves.

Once again, my daughter has had the fortitude to say "no, thanks" to all sorts of tempting treats since she was old enough to mutter out the phrase. Kids can be taught to say no to forbidden things if they are brought up to do so. Anyone who thinks they can't is seriously not giving children enough credit, imho. I'm not trying to give you attitude or be snarky. All ages of children can be taught all kinds of things if parents are willing to try.

 

[elan]

It's still just a freaking cupcake.

Hello...tag fairy.

 

[Wishing on a star]

My post wasn't about kids saying no. It was about parents saying no.

Perhaps you did not read my post, or did not read it correctly....
I clearly stated,

This is about whether or not the schools should put parents in the unfortunate position of always having to say no.

IMHO, parents waltzing in the school with cupcakes IS a snowflake thing. So, on this point, we disagree.

And, we all know that occasional birthday cupcakes is not 'madness'
Well, everybody except this crazy cupcake lady!!!
I have stated, two or three times already, that I could not care any less if my son has an occasional birthday cupcake.

I think it is obvious by the way this thread has progressed, that this thread is not just about the occasional cupcake.
The examples given in my earlier post, and several other posts, do, IMHO give validity to a parent who feels like 'enough is enough' when it comes to all of the candy and cake and, well, crap, that is pushed on our children at school.

But, since there are those here who prefer to quote one phrase out to context, to completely misread, and misrepresent what I have said...

 

[luvmy3]

Perhaps you did not read my post, or did not read it correctly....
I clearly stated,

Its not the schools responsibility to make a parents job easier.

 

[Wishing on a star]

But, since there are those here who prefer to quote one phrase out to context, to completely misread, and misrepresent what I have said...

Wow, luvmy three.... I didn't even get to pull in the quotes and finish my post... (with the boards being really slow, etc...) and here we go again...

Wow... just wow....

The LAST thing I want is for the school to have anything to do with my job as a parent.

Good grief.

It's bedtime. I'm outa here.

 

[luvmy3]

Wow, luvmy three.... I didn't even get to pull in the quotes and finish my post... (with the boards being really slow, etc...) and here we go again...

Wow... just wow....

The LAST thing I want is for the school to have anything to do with my job as a parent.

Good grief.

It's bedtime. I'm outa here.

Excuse me for not waiting 12 minutes after you post to make sure you aren't going to add anything to it. I just happened to click on this thread and find the post I quoted, in which you stated this and only this:
"This is about whether or not the schools should put parents in the unfortunate position of always having to say no."
I'm not quite sure how this statement can be taken out of context as it is written, but I guess you think we are just supposed to know what you really meant when you said this
My answer still stands.

Good night.

 

[EMom]

At DD's school, they can have a birthday treat the last 5 minutes of lunch. I've been there when other kids have celebrated their birthday and helped the mom pass out the treats. It's usually cupcakes or cookies, but sometimes it's fruit, brownies, etc. This year, being the good Texan I am, I brought individual size cups of Blue Bell ice cream for the kids. DD is lactose intolerant and an occasional ice cream is a huge treat for her....taken with Lactaid tablets, of course.

On the many occasions I've helped pass out treats over the years, I've noticed that on any given day, at least 2-3 kids or more will take a pass on the goody of the day. DD almost never takes a cupcake. She doesn't like them. If there's a good-looking ring stuck in the icing, she'll take one, pull the ring out and give the cupcake to a kid who wants seconds. If it's a sugar cookie, she says no. A brownie, she will take in a heartbeat. If it's ice cream, she has to go to the nurse's office to get Lactaid and that takes too long, so she says no to that. I've seen kids with dairy allergies say no to the ice cream too.

In other words, no kid seems to feel ostracized if he/she doesn't want the birthday treat. Every single time, SOMEONE says no. Kids get stuff like this all the time nowadays.......Passing it up is no big deal to them. If DD eats 2/5 of the birthday treats that are offered, I'd be surprised. And she's fine with that. I really don't think it's that big a deal for a kid to pass on a treat because THEY don't act as if it bothers them in the least. I take my lead from them.

 

[kellyg403]

Amen. And in our schools, the kids get 20 minutes for lunch, which includes the 10 minutes that it takes to get through the cafeteria line. A recipe for bad eating habits.

My kids don't do video games or TV during the week but seldom get any chance to play outside because of the homework overload.

In the wintertime when it gets dark around 5, they do play an hour or so of video games before dinner. In the spring and summer they can get out after dinner because it is light longer. We tried letting them do homework later but it just turned into a hassle. Nobody wanted to do it, tired etc. So it works better for us to get it out of the way.

I agree with the PE statement too. It seemed like everyday last semester my ds who was in 7th grade complained because it was 'free play' everyday. No organized work out or games, seemed like everyone was just doing their own thing. I didn't take his word totally for it because for him free play 3 times in one week is everyday in his mind, but still I would rather have seen more organized activities worked on. I mentioned it to the PE teacher and she gave me the run of the mill, yeah we had to do it this way because of this but in the next few weeks we will be doing more organized things etc.

Kelly

 

[aprilgail2]

IMHO, parents waltzing in the school with cupcakes IS a snowflake thing. So, on this point, we disagree.

:

wow- then even 40 years ago we were all special snowflakes huh?? I can remember all the other kids bringing in cupcakes for their birthdays and I know for sure my mom brough them to the school for my birthday (and she didn't drive so she walked them there!!!)
Its nuts- people complain so much about anything the school does- they give to many cupckaes, they don't let them have cupcakes, they have to many parites, not allowed to have parties etc....perhaps if people have that much trouble sending their kids to school they should just keep their snowflakes home and home school them.

 

[disneyjunkie]

perhaps if people have that much trouble sending their kids to school they should just keep their snowflakes home and home school them.

 

[luvsJack]

Our schools have bikes that they take out at recess and the kids ride bikes around the field if they want to- if not there is always a game of kick ball or tag. They have the regular playground balls, hula hoops and jump ropes too and also the playground with the monkey bars etc. They have gym three times a week too-much of it is exercise before whatever "game" they will be playing that day.. I think they should be more concerned over the amount of homework that these kids get- some nights its so much that there is no time to just getoutside and run around or ride bikes. Its homework, dinner, shower and bed for many of them!
Our school won NYS award for one of the healthiest schools, yet we still have cupcakes, class parties with candy, chocolate lollipop sales (once a year)....I think the balance is very good!

That's great! I wish I could just get our school to have some balls to for the kids to play kickball or some jump ropes on the field during break. DD is going into 6th grade and they are not allowed on the playground equipment, so break is usually sitting on the ground and talking to friends. P.E. is pretty good for us, the football coach is the P.E. teacher and he has a decent exercise program going for the kids plus they play basketball or volleyball afterward. At some of the other local schools they don't even always have P.E.!!

I totally agree with you about the homework. Its hard to tell your child to "get our and get some exercise" when they have at least 2 hours of homework to get done!

It sounds like you all do have a good balance and that's what its all about. If a child eats nothing but junk food for breakfast, lunch and dinner and does nothing but sit around playing video games and gets no exercise at school; the last thing they need is a cupcake. If the child is eating a balanced diet at least most days and does get exercise, that cupcake is just not going to hurt anything.

Wishing: A lot of schools do sell candy, slushies and other items but its after lunch. That way the kids get a treat if they want after they have eaten lunch. They do have rules they have to follow in order to sell these items and I don't see where it is "pushed" on kids. Again, kids can say no; actually parents can say no by not sending money to buy the items and sending a healthy alternative. Sending cupcakes for your child's class to share on his/her birthday when everyone else does the same thing is not making your child a "snowflake" (I hate the way that term is used on the dis; all children are different and special so in fact, it is my opinion that ALL children are "snowflakes"--but whatever). In fact, it seems to me that it is the parent that thinks the rest of the class should conform to his/her parenting ideals that is making their child more important than the rest.

 

[ilovefh]

Touching on the kids feeling left out, getting teased topic. I have actually never seen this happen in the classroom or at the summer camp I also work at. I know at summer camp we have had a camper who has PKU and it is actually really simple. We tell mom we are having an ice cream party and mom sends in things for him or tells us what to buy. Problem solved. Same for the boy who was not allowed sugar. Because it is summer and hot we do freeze pops occasionally. Mom brings in a box for the summer of sugar free popsicles. No teasing, no tormenting, no one left out.

And, no your child will not become obese from one or two treats a month! It's about what you feed them at home!

While I agree that her message of doing away with obesity is a good one, the fact that she does not eat some days until almost dinner time makes me not take her seriously. People need to eat well balanced meals, not skip a days worth of food. That is called anorexia!

 

[Jeafl]

Its nuts- people complain so much about anything the school does- they give to many cupckaes, they don't let them have cupcakes, they have to many parites, not allowed to have parties etc....perhaps if people have that much trouble sending their kids to school they should just keep their snowflakes home and home school them.

You're right about that! In my classroom this year there were the usual group of parents who felt that the whole class should conform to their child's wants and wishes. They are the same parents who send countless emails (more than once or twice a day), wanting constant updates on how their child is doing, forgetting the fact that there are 23 other kids in the classroom. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that the parents are interested in their child's progress, but answering 30-40 emails a day takes a lot of time away from other things we should be doing.