My sister gave me a $25 Kohl's card for Christmas. So, while the kids were at school, I went shopping in the hopes of finding a new pair of
Crocs for our trip.
I love my Crocs. But the pair I have is over a year old, and I wear them every day. So, needless to say, all the tread had worn off, and if I step on a wet floor, my feet almost slide our from under me. I have def. had a few close calls in the school cafeteria.... I am 5 ft 10, so, I think were I ever to fall, someone would probably shout "TIMBER!!!" as they watch me go down!
Anywho, so I diddly bop off to Kohl's, gift card in hand. Or wallet. I went to the shoe section, but Alas! they have no Crocs, only the Sketchers Croc-style shoes. That's cool with me and all. But, unfortunately, my feet are as big as my attitude, and they just refused to squeeze into those cute lil shoes.

Story of my life.
So, off I went to the men's shoe department, where I normally buy my shoes. My feet are so wide, I'd have to get shoes at a drag queen store if I wanted to wear strappy heels. But nooooo... they don't HAVE any Crocs OR Croc style shoes in the men's dept. Hmpf.

Didn't they know I was coming?!?!?
SO I proceed to wander around the department store, waiting for inspiration to strike. No, I don't want to buy clothes for the boys or DH, this card is for ME! I don't wear jewelry... don't need any embroidered throw pillows, thank you very much. I headed to the plus size clothes department. I swear, it all looked like crap my grandmother would wear. I may be big, and I may be over 30, but by God, I am still COOL.
Commence more wandering. I was just about to give up and get the boys something when I saw the travel section. Oh yeah, babe. Now, no way can I get luggage for $25, but I was betting I could find some stupid accessory I don't really need for that price. Oh... look.., they're having a sale on luggage.. hmmm...
Let's check the sale prices, maybe I can find a carry on bag... $50...$129....$89.... and then I see it. My heart stops, my breath quickens...
"What have we here?" I say. Yes, I really said it.. the other lady looking at luggage subtly moves a couple feet away....
$29... I have that much.. if I throw in $5 of my own... but what is it that's $29?? One bag? I inch closer, probably intimidating the other luggage lady a little bit with the predatory look on my face.
WHAT THE CRAP?!?! A 3 piece luggage set, originally $99.99.. on sale for $29?!?!?!?!?!? Surely that's not right.. or it's crappy luggage...
I inch closer. The luggage lady eyes me warily, as she is looking at the same set.. they only have 2 left. I can't get right in front of them, b/c the luggage lady (read:enemy) is in the way. It looks to be decent quality... lots of pockets and zippers, rolly wheels... ooohh.. and you can "add 40% more space by simply unzipping" the super special extendo-compartment... a suitcase, a carry-on, AND a toiletry bag??
GET OUTTA THE WAY BLUEHAIR, THAT SUITCASE IS MINE!!
I rudely, but gently, push past her as she seems to be reaching for my beautiful green manna from heaven. No way is she getting that luggage. I may get arrested for battery of an old lady, but I'll hand over my $29 in handcuffs if I must....
SCORE!!! I yank the luggage from the shelf with, what I am sure was a manic gleam in my eyes. Sorry, lady, hope ya didn't want it too bad, they still have royal purple up there is you're interested....
With a small noise of irritation, or maybe fear, she backs away from the shelf before the suitcase connects with her head. Well.. honestly lady.. I am bigger, stronger, and more determined. Get outta the way, or you may get hurt!
I cluth the luggage to my chest as best I can, and scurry off to checkout before the manager realizes he must have made a pricing mistake..
I must have still looked a little crazed.. the cashier looked at me kind of funny.. but I paid for my luggage and hightailed it outta there before the luggage lady reported the suitcase thief to the Kohl's cops...
The picture shows the black set, but I got the
purdy green
I swear, ya'll, I was so excited about that stupid luggage that I call DH, my sister, my gmother AND my best friend on the way home. They all made the required polite exclamations of delight over my slightly psychotic purchase.. but I got my luggage, darn it!!! It is the perfect size to hold everything the boys will need... and the carry on is not too big or too small. Wheeee!! We have a nutcase! I mean, suitcase!!
And then, to top it all off.. I talked to the
Travel Agent... our documents are coming next week....
Yesterday was truly a great Disney day!