Miss Manners Tipping Website?

[Beautybelle43]

I've heard people quote recommendations from Miss Manners as far as tipping various kinds of workers.

Anyone have a link to a website for this?

Thanks!

 

[Katiebell]

I coudn't find a Miss Manners website specifically on tipping, but here is an excellent quote from her regarding the practice:
"It's a dreadful custom that brings out the worst in everyone - self-importance, miserliness, or social nervousness in customers, and anxiety or blatantly displayed greed in employees, for whom this is, after all, part of their expected wages." (emphasis mine)

Here are some good links on tipping:

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m4021/is_2001_May_1/ai_74303104
http://www.findalink.net/tippingetiquette.php
http://www.itipping.com/tip-guide-restaurant.htm
http://www.essortment.com/all/tipping_rdef.htm
http://people.howstuffworks.com/tipping2.htm
http://tipping.org/tips/restaurant.html

All of them agree that 15-20% of the bill, before any discounts, is the norm. And all the ettiquette pages I've read say that 10% is the norm for buffets:
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/food/manners/buffet-tipping-oct01
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Social-Etiquette-Good-2570/Buffet-Tipping.htm
http://www.soundmoneytips.com/article/3441-tip-for-tipping-at-buffet-restaurants
http://www.tipping.org/tips/buffet.html

Peter Post of the Emily Post institute says "Not tipping doesn't correct bad service." If you receive bad service, he recommends tipping 15%, then talking to the restaurant manager. Stiffing is unfair because the poor service you received may not have been the wait staff's fault -- problems in the kitchen or inadequate staffing. The federal minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13 per hour, so servers depend on tips to earn a living wage. Wait staff often must divide their tips with the rest of the staff, so stiffing a bad server can end up hurting others as well.

 

[divawife]

20% for a buffet is highway robbery esp at the Disney prices. (Yes, I saw that "suggestion" on our bill and it has been suggested on these boards) We were 5 people and only did one TS that wasn't a buffet (Norway Princess lunch) and CRT which gratuity is included. I left 15%

 

[disnut8]

Google Miss Manners tipping. There is a chart but I couldn't bring it up at the moment.

 

[Brian Noble]

I'm one of those posters. Sadly, I only have the dead tree version of Miss Manners' Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. It sits on my bookshelf next to the Chicago Manual of Style, Strunk & White, and my Collegiate Dictionary, as a ready reference.

 

[Brian Noble]

Addendum: I found it. It was from her article on March 24th, 1985, as carried in the Washington Post. Unfortunately, the Post's own archival search tool was broken, but I got it from a Lexis-Nexis search. Here is the question and answer:

Question: I am writing to ask you about the practice of tipping as it relates to three situations that are outside the realm of conventional dining:

The first occurs in a sushi bar, where the preparer and server of the meal are one and the same. I have noticed glasses sitting on the bar, similar to those used by bartenders to promote gratuities. Is a tip here a given, or is it optional?

In addition, when a different person serves beverages and presents the check, should this person also receive a gratuity? If a credit card is used, which of these people benefits?

The second situation has to do with Chinese dim sum, which involves the delivery of the various foods to the table by several different waiters offering selections from carts. Again, there is a beverage server. Who merits a tip, and for what amount?

The third instance is the breakfast buffet, during which the waitress' only service to the patron is to pour coffee. Surely she is not entitled to the usual 15 to 20 percent tip.

I hope you can offer some guidelines, so that I do not inadvertently slight anyone who has provided service.

Answer: Unless you obtain a copy of the work schedule of the restaurant, and also make it your business to do a study of the performance level of each employe, you will never reach that godlike goal of distributing rewards exactly according to deserts. Or sushi. Or dim sum.

Miss Manners advises you not to try. Put your 15 or 20 percent tip on the bill, regardless of the type of restaurant or service, and let the restaurant worry about distributing it.

Each of the people you mention is on full working duty during your meal, and worrying about how hard they actually work will only upset your digestion.

Here is the citation information:

Playing Coy Makes The Heart Grow Fonder
BYLINE: By Judith Martin
SECTION: Style; Miss Manners; B1
LENGTH: 1746 words

The Washington Post
March 24, 1985, Sunday, Final Edition

 

[gmi3804]

20% for a buffet is highway robbery esp at the Disney prices. (Yes, I saw that "suggestion" on our bill and it has been suggested on these boards) We were 5 people and only did one TS that wasn't a buffet (Norway Princess lunch) and CRT which gratuity is included. I left 15%

I doubt you'd see it as "highway robbery" if it was you busting your a$$ for demanding people who are paying $60 per person to dine on steam table foodservice fare with a college student dressed as a cartoon character.

 

[focusondisney]

I doubt you'd see it as "highway robbery" if it was you busting your a$$ for demanding people who are paying $60 per person to dine on steam table foodservice fare with a college student dressed as a cartoon character.

I doubt someone who wrote a post in 2008 & was last seen on the Dis in 2013 is reading your response.

 

[gmi3804]

I doubt someone who wrote a post in 2008 & was last seen on the Dis in 2013 is reading your response.

But you did!

 

[crazy4wdw]

This thread was started 16 years ago so will be closed for any further discussion