Mind Your Own Business

[merryweather20]

This sort of thing definitely goes both ways. There was a post a while back about an able bodied woman berating a woman in a wheel-chair, because she parked her card in a non-handicap spot.

 

[Darsa]

"Oh my gosh, you're so rude."

Heh, I had to check and make sure I hadn't posted this, because this is EXACTLY what I would have said.

 

[dismom2]

A couple days ago when I was leaving the grocery store, I watched the lady parked next to me leave her cart right behind my car....so the only way I could back out is if I moved her cart. If she wasn't already in her car with the windows rolled up I probably would have said something.

I was also at the bookstore yesterday, standing in line waiting to check out behind several other people. There was a teenage girl in front of me. All of a sudden she see's a couple aquaintences of hers and invites them to get in line with her (there were about 4 people behind me). These people did not go in with her, and I could tell by thier conversation that they hadn't seen each other in a while. I really didn't appreciate her letting her friends cut in line, or making me have to wait longer. Somebody behind me said something to her, which she (and her friends ignored). Finally, she looks at me for a brief second and say's "you don't mind, do you?". I really had to hold my tongue. On another day I might have said, "yes".

I think some people are rude, and it's not always the person who speaks up who is the rude one. I've been in a full theater where someone let thier kids run around and be noisy the whole time, and when someone finally spoke up, everyone started clapping and cheering. Some people deserve it when someone says something to them because they are downright rude or disrespectful to those around them. Like someone mentioned, there is no reason to let bullies or rude people get away with thier behavior.

 

[LisaNJ25]

This sort of thing definitely goes both ways. There was a post a while back about an able bodied woman berating a woman in a wheel-chair, because she parked her card in a non-handicap spot.

That takes balls to do..

 

[sbell111]

As many of you know, some time ago I was involved in an accident with a drunk going the wrong way on the interstate. My injuries included a broken vertabrae that required surgery. For some time after that, I walked with a cane, but I have stopped using it. It is still quite painful to walk sometimes, so I still sometimes take advantage of my handicapped pass to get a close spot when I need it.

Last summer, I was going to the local Dick's Sporting Goods store and parked in a handicapped spot. As I wandered away from my car, some guy started challenging my right to park in the spot. I guess that the judgement of my neurosurgeon and the state wasn't good enough. I apparently was also supposed to get permission from this jerk.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Yes, this bolded part is what I thought immediately. Maybe if someone had corrected HER (I know it's wrong, but geez!) maybe she would think twice before verbally abusing an elderly woman next time.

I can' say for sure because I wasn't there, but I would have been tempted to tell her that she needs to wait her turn because someone was already in the stall.

If I wasn't in a different stall at the time I probably would have said something, but by the time I was done the situation was over. There wre a lot of shocked people and several did comfort the woman with the walker and say (kind of loudly) that that woman was out of line. Believe me, I doubt anything anyboyd could have said to her would have made a difference and maybe even lead to a more aggressive confrontation.

Regardless of what it is, why do people feel the need to correct other's behavior? I don't like the saggy pants look, but that doesn't mean I can go up to them and tell them it's offensive. It seems like a good 90% of the time the behaviors people feel the need to correct are little things that really don't affect anyone directly like wearing a hat in a restaurant, baggy pants, etc.

Like I said, if it affects you directly (like line cutting, smoking in a non smoking area) or is a safety issue I have no problem with speaking up. Or if you see an instance of bullying. But we have gone too far and it seems like anymore everybody expects to be in everybody else's life.

I'll give you another example: I have diabetes. I frequent a forum for people with diabetes and some of the comments people get are just amazing. It's like when people find out it gives them the right to tell you how to live your life. People have posted times when somebody saw them checking their blood sugar and without even knowing them made comments like "You know, if you would jsut lose the weight you wouldn't be sick" or people trying to police what they eat. Thank God I have yet to be on the receiving end of that, but can you imagine how frustrating that is? It's like people are incapable of staying out of somebody else's life.

 

[lovemygoofy]

If I wasn't in a different stall at the time I probably would have said something, but by the time I was done the situation was over. There wre a lot of shocked people and several did comfort the woman with the walker and say (kind of loudly) that that woman was out of line. Believe me, I doubt anything anyboyd could have said to her would have made a difference and maybe even lead to a more aggressive confrontation.

Regardless of what it is, why do people feel the need to correct other's behavior? I don't like the saggy pants look, but that doesn't mean I can go up to them and tell them it's offensive. It seems like a good 90% of the time the behaviors people feel the need to correct are little things that really don't affect anyone directly like wearing a hat in a restaurant, baggy pants, etc.

Like I said, if it affects you directly (like line cutting, smoking in a non smoking area) or is a safety issue I have no problem with speaking up. Or if you see an instance of bullying. But we have gone too far and it seems like anymore everybody expects to be in everybody else's life.

I'll give you another example: I have diabetes. I frequent a forum for people with diabetes and some of the comments people get are just amazing. It's like when people find out it gives them the right to tell you how to live your life. People have posted times when somebody saw them checking their blood sugar and without even knowing them made comments like "You know, if you would jsut lose the weight you wouldn't be sick" or people trying to police what they eat. Thank God I have yet to be on the receiving end of that, but can you imagine how frustrating that is? It's like people are incapable of staying out of somebody else's life.

I tend to agree with live and let live but I'm tired of people thinking they are so stinking special that they should do whatever the heck they want. For instance, in Mass on Sunday, yes I said MASS, a woman sitting next to me starts breast feeding her son right there on the pew during the service. I understand that's her right and it's a natural thing and whatever else but why the heck does it have to be in the middle of Mass?

The same thing with baggy pants. I do not want to see anyone's behind or their underwear because they think it looks good to show their ***, litterally. It maybe their freedom to wear it but it's my freedom to tell them to get out of my line of vision.

 

[monkey68]

As many of you know, some time ago I was involved in an accident with a drunk going the wrong way on the interstate. My injuries included a broken vertabrae that required surgery. For some time after that, I walked with a cane, but I have stopped using it. It is still quite painful to walk sometimes, so I still sometimes take advantage of my handicapped pass to get a close spot when I need it.

Last summer, I was going to the local Dick's Sporting Goods store and parked in a handicapped spot. As I wandered away from my car, some guy started challenging my right to park in the spot. I guess that the judgement of my neurosurgeon and the state wasn't good enough. I apparently was also supposed to get permission from this jerk.

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She is an above hte knee amputee after an accident a few years ago, and has a handicapped parking permit. We were coming out of the car with her, and parked in the handicapped spot. She does walk pretty well, and unless you saw her walking up close, you probably wouldn't notice the limp. Some guy starts yelling that she shouldn't have parked there, she shouldn't be using her grandma's permit, etc. She said to him in the sweetest voice, would you like me to take off my prosthetic leg and smack you over the head with it?

 

[C.Ann]

I don't like to see someone ridiculing someone else like that out in public, so I probably would have said something to the lady in the wheelchair - as nicely as possible.. That poor woman in the stall was probably afraid to come out..

 

[mamacatnv]

I have my areas - If I had witnessed the bathroom incident I would likely have made a comment similar to "take a pill lady, gheesh" and then I would have gone out of my way to make sure that the lady who was using the stall had any and all help she may need.
I don't mind the going to the front of the line thing - yes I know we all have to wait but it must take longer to transfer from a wheelchair to a toilet than it does me to unzip and sit. I think of all the times when DD was little and people would see her in line and whisk her to the front that is a courtesy I always try to repay be it an elderly person a disabled person or a child.

I would rarely comment to someone on their clothing in a public place unless it was someone I knew or if it was against dress code at school, work etc. The one exception is when at the movies/bleachers and some chicky thinks that we should be exposed to her thong. I don't care how many jewels she has on it, I don't want to see it and I have told more than one young lady to pull her pants up or to move. This happened a lot when DS was in high school and played football.

My pet peeve and one I will almost always address directly with the offending parent is letting kids run around a restaurant. That ticks me off to no end and I will ask them to either sit the kid down or get a to-go-box. Just last week I said to a young couple whose 4yr old was terrorizing the establishment "you know if you can't get your kid to sit at the table for a meal perhaps you should feed him at home where he is not disrupting others"

Another one and I know this is a hot button - I was at a waterpark with my 10 yr old DD and her friend just this past weekend. There are several restrooms strewn throughout the park including a family restroom. We walked into one of the small womens restrooms and there was a Mom with a son who was taller than both my girls waiting to use the restroom. My DD and her friend were horrified. This kid was easily 10 not just but looks but in his speaking with his mother. I actually told the Mom that there was a family bathroom and where it was and that my daughters and I would appreciate if she and her son would go use it. That Mom was ticked but she huffed off towards the family bathroom.

Guess I don't believe in always minding my own business. I think if more people spoke up towards rude and offensive behavior perhaps we would all have less of it to deal with.

 

[Schmeck]

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She is an above hte knee amputee after an accident a few years ago, and has a handicapped parking permit. We were coming out of the car with her, and parked in the handicapped spot. She does walk pretty well, and unless you saw her walking up close, you probably wouldn't notice the limp. Some guy starts yelling that she shouldn't have parked there, she shouldn't be using her grandma's permit, etc. She said to him in the sweetest voice, would you like me to take off my prosthetic leg and smack you over the head with it?

I'm sorry your friend was challenged like this - but what a wonderful response! I would have loved to have seen that guy's face!

I've got a chunk missing from the back of my left leg - melanoma re-excision, down to the muscle. I can walk, but sometimes it just aches and throbs from over exersion. When it hurts like that, it's murder to get down and up from a standard toilet, so I use the handicap stall. I have waited my turn for that stall, explaining that I need to use the grab bars to get back up. Most people look at me like I'm nuts, but no one has challenged me (most likely because I'm letting people go ahead of me while I wait). I'd be quite willing to show them my scar! My kids say I should tell people I was bitten by a shark, LOL!

 

[ArelysAdriana]

EB - I would have had a few choice words with that rude woman. The poor lady in the stall must have felt horrible.

People are just downright rude some times (and SO nosey.) I have tattoos and have gotten asked why I would ruin my skin like that or why I would do something so "trashy." Who asks that? Why does that matter to anyone but me?

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She is an above hte knee amputee after an accident a few years ago, and has a handicapped parking permit. We were coming out of the car with her, and parked in the handicapped spot. She does walk pretty well, and unless you saw her walking up close, you probably wouldn't notice the limp. Some guy starts yelling that she shouldn't have parked there, she shouldn't be using her grandma's permit, etc. She said to him in the sweetest voice, would you like me to take off my prosthetic leg and smack you over the head with it?

Your friend is awesome

 

[m&m's mom]

I have to admit I have no problem confronting other people when it is merited (yes, my judgment).
Last year we were at a shopping center standing outside a restaurant when an obviously drunk man started screaming obscentities at his daughter who seemed 12 or 13. She looked so embarrassed. It was my DH, our 2 DD's (11 and 8) and a couple friend.
Well the guys with me were stunned. The ole stink eye did not do anything to drunk guy's behavior either.
The guy got in a car with someone else driving so I dropped it. Well the idiot is in the car SCREAMING at the poor girl still. The driver nor anyone else was protecting this girl or my kids from hearing this.
Totally without thinking I started running towards his car yelling that he needed to quit using that language to his DD or in front of my kids. My poor DH was just about to jump in our car and drive away.
Anyway, the guy drove off without saying anything else.
We have been at a packed MK waiting for the Wishes fireworks and a guy started cussing an yelling at his poor wife and kids. Again, no one said anything.
I told him firmly that he needed to quit using that language or I was calling security (like they would have done anything )

 

[KPeveler]

while it annoys me when people use the HA stall when they don't need it, i just wait til they are done! after all, its a toilet, and you can never tell who needs it...

i used to get yelled at about using the HA parking spots til my disability became obvious. some people just need to learn to mind their own business!