MIL - one thing I don't like about her

[wishesuponastar]

Well, maybe there's more than one thing but LOL

She doesn't have anything fun for the kids to do. NEVER. not.even.crayons!! since they were born, no rattles, nothing. I don't expect her to go crazy buying things for my kids but when I am a grandma I would at least have coloring books and crayons. I always go to her house prepared though, crafts for the kids to do, etc. It's not like she doesn't have the money cause they do. Vent over

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Well, maybe there's more than one thing but LOL

She doesn't have anything fun for the kids to do. NEVER. not.even.crayons!! since they were born, no rattles, nothing. I don't expect her to go crazy buying things for my kids but when I am a grandma I would at least have coloring books and crayons. I always go to her house prepared though, crafts for the kids to do, etc. It's not like she doesn't have the money cause they do. Vent over

Maybe she hasn't bothered to buy anything because you're always so good about sending it with the kids? Try sending them over for a few hours sometime and don't send any activities with them. After several rounds of "Grandma we're bored" maybe she'll get the idea that she should buy some supplies!

 

[dngnb8]

I dont have In-Laws, I have Out-Laws

 

[Magic Mom]

Well, maybe there's more than one thing but LOL

She doesn't have anything fun for the kids to do. NEVER. not.even.crayons!! since they were born, no rattles, nothing. I don't expect her to go crazy buying things for my kids but when I am a grandma I would at least have coloring books and crayons. I always go to her house prepared though, crafts for the kids to do, etc. It's not like she doesn't have the money cause they do. Vent over

That's odd. What does she have them do, just watch TV? or does she play with them?

 

[happygirl]

Wanna switch MIL LOL

 

[S. C.]

"Be kinder than necessary. Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

I was!






Here is what she wrote in a different thread.

Maybe mother in law has the same attitude and is asked too many times to keep the kids.

Big to all the grandparents that watch their grands. You are so kind to do that. When I become a grandparent I will only watch the grands if it is a last resort. Like if my child needs to save the money it would cost to put them in daycare or if the grand is home sick from school. It was hard enough on me to raise my own kids, I would not want to do it every day.

 

[TinkPirateMom]

I have never been invited to my MIL's house neither have my children. Yes, she does live nearby and yes we are in regular contact with her. My mother went out and bought a crib, car seat, and baby supplies the moment she found out I was pregnant so her house would be ready for grandkids. My Mom has less space and money. I just remind myself that everyone was raised differently and have different priorities. Not everyone will react to things the way we think they should. It is frustrating though!

 

[wishesuponastar]

She talks to all of us at the table. Which is a good thing.
But DD-10 is very bored if I forget to bring something for her to do.
Oh well, it is a minor thing to complain about.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think this is a little thing to worry about. I am a Nana and I did have toys for my DGD. My DD always brought things with her though because she knew what she wanted to play with. Why don't you just go buy some things to leave at her house? That way there will be "new" things there for your kids and you will not need to pack them up.

 

[marmalade]

I was!






Here is what she wrote in a different thread.

Maybe mother in law has the same attitude and is asked too many times to keep the kids.

She may very well be, I just thought it was comical reading your post then seeing that quote.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Here is what she wrote in a different thread.

I see nothing wrong with what she wrote.

She didn't say she wouldn't love, or visit, or spend time with her grandkids... or ever baby-sit...

The way I read that, it is just that she wouldn't want, or be able, to be considered as full or part time day care.

I would have to agree.
And I am not so sure who is 'stirring the pot'.


Yes, be kinder than necessary, as everyone you meet is fighting their own battles.

 

[minkydog]

Well, maybe there's more than one thing but LOL

She doesn't have anything fun for the kids to do. NEVER. not.even.crayons!! since they were born, no rattles, nothing. I don't expect her to go crazy buying things for my kids but when I am a grandma I would at least have coloring books and crayons. I always go to her house prepared though, crafts for the kids to do, etc. It's not like she doesn't have the money cause they do. Vent over

OMG, my biggest pet peeve about my in-laws! My SIL used to live at the beach and she would invite us to stay with her for a week every summer. Which was great, don't get me wrong. It's the beach, after all. But SIL completely missed the boat on child entertainment. She never had so much as a coloring book for them. So every trip I packed a big box with craft materials, scissors, glue, markers, paper, etc, and library books. SIL was amazed and she couldn't understand WHY She really thought the kids could stay busy at the beach 14 hours a day for 7 days. (What, are you crazy? I can't have the kids outall day in the bald bare sun in Florida) She makes no attempt to interact with the kids, play games or do projects. Children are better seen than heard.

SIL is shallow and honestly, she is clueless. When we're down there she only has eyes for her brother(DH) and the rest of us could just go suck eggs, especially Christian. She her and her husband walk around after him smoothing out his footprints in the carpet, wiping up any counter that he accidently touched, literally following him from room to room to make sure he doesn't touch something. That's why I put my foot down. Enough of it. It's bad enough that they can't even hug Christian, but they have made NO effort to get to know my older kids. Therefore, my kids could care less about having a relationship with them.

Recently, DS24 went down with my DH to visit his Sister and Mother. DS has long hair,two lip rings, and wears a lot of black. He's a decent person, well-read and well-spoken. He writes music & graphic novels, and he takes care of his younger sibs . DSil was horrified by his "look"and told him he was going to hell. Then when he got home she sent him a Christian self-improvement book.

And Dsil wonders why we don't stay with them anymore...

 

[Wishing on a star]

OP, I would guess that this is just the way your MIL is.
As stated, not everyone is so child focused.. even as grandparents.

Now, my MIL, knows that my son has severe allergies to cats.... and while she would have things to keep him occupied, she has four indoor cats, who actually have full reign and even sleep in all the beds.

She will not even keep one of the bedrooms closed off and cat-free for my son....
My Dh and I tried to suggest this, very politely.. she got irate, and refuses.
This is her beloved, only, grandson, whom "I" am keeping from her ) despite the fact that we drive an hour to her house almost every single weekend) because I don't let him stay with her and all those cats, with no consideration for his health. Ummmmm.... whatever....

Now THAT kind of thing is a valid concern.

 

[JessicaR]

Well, maybe there's more than one thing but LOL

She doesn't have anything fun for the kids to do. NEVER. not.even.crayons!! since they were born, no rattles, nothing. I don't expect her to go crazy buying things for my kids but when I am a grandma I would at least have coloring books and crayons. I always go to her house prepared though, crafts for the kids to do, etc. It's not like she doesn't have the money cause they do. Vent over

In this case I would make up a box of things that would interest my children and drop it off at Grandmas! That way the kids know its there and you can be assured there are things for the kids to do while visiting. Sometimes Grandmas just forget.

 

[eeyoremum]

Well, maybe there's more than one thing but LOL

She doesn't have anything fun for the kids to do. NEVER. not.even.crayons!! since they were born, no rattles, nothing. I don't expect her to go crazy buying things for my kids but when I am a grandma I would at least have coloring books and crayons. I always go to her house prepared though, crafts for the kids to do, etc. It's not like she doesn't have the money cause they do. Vent over

umm, sure it would be nice for her to have stuff for your kids but it is not a requirement.

I always took toys for my kids to play with. They are my kids therefor my responsibility. I also had toys I bought for their house, again my responsibility not theirs.

 

[Wadecool]

I brought some extra popcorn in case anyone else wants some.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I always took toys for my kids to play with. They are my kids therefor my responsibility. I also had toys I bought for their house, again my responsibility not theirs.

My MIL would actually be angry and offended if I left DS there with a few of his favorite toys or snacks... So, it would be a house inundated with cat fur and dander, including the bed he would sleep in.... and no familiar toys, foods, drinks, etc... Again... Ummmmm, whatever....

 

[Wishing on a star]

I brought some extra popcorn in case anyone else wants some.

Already have mine.... Extra butter!!!

 

[MIGrandma]

Have you ever asked her why she doesn't have any toys, crayons, etc.?

I started buying baby things and toys when we had our first grandchild, almost 18 years ago. There is a fairly large age difference between the two oldest (almost 18, and 15) and the three youngest (2 boys age 6 and a girl 2) so when the younger ones came along I went out and bought some new things, and as they get older I buy more things and put the "baby stuff" away upstairs. I enjoy having the grandchildren visit, and I do babysit sometimes (not on a regular every-day basis, but usually a few times a month) so I like to have things here for them to play with and do. I've bought board games, like Lucky Ducks and Candyland, things like that too. I can't even imagine babysitting and not having things here for them to do.

 

[AKL_Megs]

Why not buy a small Rubbermaid container and fill it with things to play with at Grandma's? Then leave it there.

Maybe cheap stuff from the Dollar Tree or cheap craft stuff from Michael's.

When I was growing up, my mom either brought stuff for Grandma's (both) or I played "make believe" stuff outside. Or my mom brought my bike in the summer.

I don't expect my MIL to have loads of kid crap in her house for our daughter. MY mom just the same. It has nothing to do with money or space or anything.