stevenpensacola
<font color=red>Sometimes I sits and thinks, and s
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2000
- Messages
- 3,769
OK guys-now be very careful w/this scientific data. The female of the
species probably hasn't evolved to a high enough intellectual level to
fully understand it and may become (even more) hostile as a result.
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
---------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
---------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
--------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
----------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
----------------------------------------------------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
sexy.
----------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select
few women who can handle the truth...
species probably hasn't evolved to a high enough intellectual level to
fully understand it and may become (even more) hostile as a result.
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
---------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
---------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
--------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling
at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
----------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
----------------------------------------------------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
Always.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
sexy.
----------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select
few women who can handle the truth...
