Men and communication-small vent

[TennVolTony]

So he is involved in his childrens lives and you have a problem with this because???? Looks to me like his priorities are just where they should be. His kids come FIRST........

 

[Serena]

His kids aren't the problem, it's standing her up, not showing up, not calling when he said he would, etc. And him not explaining why he didn't have time for her, all of a sudden.

From what she's told me, he's a good guy in all other aspects.

 

[honeywolf7]

Exactly what Serena said....I'm glad his kids are important to him, because it means that he's a responsible guy.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I do wonder though about a man who hasn't told
you he has his kids every weekend-you've been
seeing him how long?

Sorry, this sets off red flags. I can't imagine any man thinking that if he said, sorry I can't get together this week, or sorry I will be late, my kids are over, that any woman would have a problem with this. It's not like he's saying sorry gotta hit the bars, or hang with my buds.

Oh and gotta agree with Eros on this one too. What you have to remember is while you are dating a man is still in a sense trying to win you. His behavior(women's as well) is better at this time then at any other time. If he dis'es you then it will be worst when he has a serious commitment.
I have been married for nearly twenty years and would have a problem with my dh not showing up or keeping an appointment with no explanation. (I don't just mean being late) When you come out of a difficult/troubled relationship your sense of normal is sometimes skewed. Always remember it is better to be completely alone then with a person who you can't trust or who makes you feel bad.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by Tiggeroo

I have been married for nearly twenty years and would have a problem with my dh not showing up or keeping an appointment with no explanation.

BINGO!

Lets say your best girlfriend did this to you, how long would you put up with it?
Family member?
Not long I am sure.
Something to think about, anyway.

I hope that now you know more about him that things become better.

 

[honeywolf7]

I did have a talk with him today and insisted that he call me if he's not going to show up. I also asked him to get a cell phone so that I can get in touch with him in case of emergencies (for example, my trip to the emergency room on Saturday night....the only reason he knew about it is that he showed up in my apartment on Sunday morning at 1 AM after he got off of work-at the same hospital that I went to.) I'll have to say that he surprises me by showing up when I don't expect him just as often as he stands me up....Maybe he's just not much of a planner.

 

[shortbun]

Doesn't show up as planned-shows up unexpectedly
at 1am...lack of planning OR lack of respect? I had a
boyfriend like this once. He was an "outlaw" and I loved
him passionately BUT I realized long into the relationship
that his behavior was immature and showed a lack of
respect for me. It was a hard breakup as we were soulmates
but future happiness prevailed. I had to do some real
thinking about how I wanted my life to go and did he fit
in? I'm not suggesting a breakup for you. Just watch carefully
and do some real thinking about what you want for yourself.
Ladies love outlaws and they sure are fun but they don't
make good mates unless you are totally self sufficient and
want a mate who does not fully commit himself to your
life. I think it can be done-does it fit your future plans?

 

[faith]

Honeywolf7, please proceed with caution.
YES, a good father should put his children first, but it sounds like he has a lack of concern or respect for your feelings. I'm sure a simple phone call would have made all the difference to you. Don't be a doormat for this guy. Maybe you should except the dates from the other guys also. Hugs.