Memorial Day Weekend with Special Needs? Crazy?

[MommaMouseketeer]

I was told today that we're able to go to Disneyland less than a month from now. It's bad timing as it turns out to be Fri and Sat of Memorial Day weekend. I'm a little intimidated as I see all these people here planning months in advance and then I have less than a month and see that that Sat is a peak day. Add in the extra planning I'll have to do for our special needs and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm hoping to get some help!

1. Is it that bad over Memorial Day weekend? Would it be pointless to go on that Sat? Should we make it Fri only?
2. It would be hard, but we might be able to go the Sat & Sun a week before. Would it be worth lots of extra effort to make that happen over going Fri and/or Fri & Sat of Memorial Day weekend?

Party of six--two grandparents, two parents, two kids.
Included are two vegetarians and two with food allergies. We are accustomed to packing and carrying our own food.

One grandparent has generalized anxiety and panic attacks.
One kid is 11 and has anxiety. Doesn't do well with suspense (including long waits and foreboding music) or with surprises. Prefers docile rides, non-ride experiences, and other things that are predictable.
Second kid is 2 and has sensory processing disorder. Sensory seeking, doesn't emotionally modulate, and loves surprises. Doesn't do well with being still (such as in a line) and starts bouncing off the walls and can become aggressive if overwhelmed. I think he'll love it, but I'm especially worried about lines, and even more worried about him in a long line at the same time as the anxious grandparent as the two are likely to feed each other's weaknesses. I definitely need a plan for that.

I read that it is possible to take a stroller with us and to have it treated as a wheelchair for the younger one, which would help a lot. I wasn't clear if there are quieter waiting areas at Disneyland like there are at WDW. Are there? Is there another solution?

What else do I need to know about our trip? It's a once-in-a-decade kind of trip for us, so I don't want to have one of those days you're lucky to get on 5 rides. Is it just too much to try this on Memorial Day weekend?

 

[ArchOwl]

Normally I tell people that they can have a good time when it is busy as long as they have a plan. But in your situation I am worried about crowds for your special needs family. Even with the best plans to avoid lines, the walkways will be tight and there will be lots of people in a small space.

Have you been to WDW when it is busy? If so, how did it go? DL often feels more crowded than WDW because it is smaller.

A Guest Assistance Card (GAC) could benefit your family for the rides, but does nothing for them walking around the park.

 

[MommaMouseketeer]

Normally I tell people that they can have a good time when it is busy as long as they have a plan. But in your situation I am worried about crowds for your special needs family. Even with the best plans to avoid lines, the walkways will be tight and there will be lots of people in a small space.

Have you been to WDW when it is busy? If so, how did it go? DL often feels more crowded than WDW because it is smaller.

A Guest Assistance Card (GAC) could benefit your family for the rides, but does nothing for them walking around the park.

We've never been to Disney World. I just read all the Special Needs FAQs before posting so that's where I saw the reference to waiting areas and wasn't clear if it was like that for both parks or just WDW. I went to Disneyland as a child decades ago and had some days where we rode everything and some days where we were lucky to get in both Space Mountain and Splash Mountain before they closed. But that was before the days of the internet that allow planning, too.

Crowded walkways aren't a problem for us other than stroller navigation. It's not the crowding in the line that's an issue, just the inactivity and confinement that is bad for the sensory seeker and the anxious ones.

Another idea I'm now toying with is taking the children by myself M-Th and then letting my husband and the grandparents meet up with us on Fri and/or Fri & Sat of Memorial Day weekend. It would require transporting there alone and then being the only adult in the park and hotel all week. That could go perfectly or could be a real difficulty; if the latter happened, I wouldn't have any back-up support nearby. It would also be a lot more expense then we first considered. But the alternatives I'm seeing are trying to either accept getting nothing in because of the busy weekend or trying to push to get a decent amount in and almost surely guaranteeing a meltdown of any number of people in our party--neither of which sound like a grand idea.

I'll see if I can find any threads about solo parenting at DL and to read up on budget vs. convenience stuff and then return here with more questions.

Id like to find out about the GAC and Disneyland-specific resources for special needs if anyone could share on that. Or any thoughts about if you were in my shoes are welcome!

 

[ArchOwl]

Ok, I thought maybe you had been to WDW before and could compare. With good planning, I wouldn't worry about not getting anything done. I have been to DL during NYE, Memorial Day, Labor Day, summer on the weekend, and during the holiday season. If you have a plan and arrive early you can get a lot accomplished. Good use of FP and a touring plan will make your days in the park very smooth.

Since your concern is not with crowds per se, I would say Memorial Day is doable since it seems that is the best time for you.

I have used a GAC with special needs kids before and it helped. There are no real waiting areas like they have at WDW. There are different lines for those with special needs. You need to go to Guest Relations at DL or DCA and explain what your needs are. They will stamp the GAC with what you need. This will alert the CMs at each ride to direct you to the appropriate line.

I don't know that I would want to go solo with two special needs kids. I always take my nieces with plenty of adult help since they need more assistance than other kids. But only you really know what you are comfortable with. But it is possible to have a good time when it is busy, so I wouldn't let it scare you too much.

 

[SomeDude78]

Ok, so a bit late to the thread here, but OP I hope you decided to go I don't think it'd be a big problem going over Memorial Day. I personally have GAD, OCD, and infrequent (but intense when they do occur) panic attacks. Also, my son has severe choreoathetoid cerebral palsy; he's wheelchair bound and has numerous sensory problems as a result.

We were at Disneyland for 3 days during Christmas break this past year (usually busier than Memorial Day in my experience) and it was no problem at all. Lines were longer than usual and walking was indeed somewhat crowded (we even had a double stroller with us because my son hadn't been fitted for his wheelchair yet) but that was about it.

Definitely go to Guest Services and request a Guest Assistance Card. You can absolutely get one so that you can use your stroller as a wheelchair (precisely what we did ... my son with cerebral palsy has a "normal" twin sister hence our double stroller).

In fact we just decided literally mere minutes ago (hence why I'm on these boards right now!) to go again tomorrow for Memorial Day weekend. So maybe we'll see you there!

A couple disclaimers about my personal situation which may or may not pertain in your case:

-- We live in California (LA for many years, but now Northern California about 6 hours away) so making the trip to Disneyland is easy. If it were a longer trek or required an expensive plane flight, then I might reconsider my stance.

-- My disabled son, and of course his "normal" sister, is 2 years old. Thus I unfortunately cannot speak to how your 11-year old may react ... if he is prone to anxiety, then I would suggest considering a hotel closer to the park entrances like Grand Californian. I've stayed at Hojo, Fairfield Inn, Grand Californian, and a couple other places in nearby Garden Grove, and while pricier, Grand Californian is worth it if you need to "get away" and find some peace and quiet quickly, for instance in the event of a panic attack. That's where we'll be staying this Memorial Day precisely for the convenience.

-- My wife and mother-in-law are Premium Annual Passholders, so they basically "get in free" whenever we go, which makes the decision to go more of a no-brainer (I'm not a Passholder but that's another story ... basically half the time we're down there, they go to Disneyland and I wind up at a Laker game

All in all, I think you'd have a great time. Bring in your stroller, explain your special needs to the Guest Services crew so your stroller can double as a wheelchair (and ignore the dirty looks from folks who don't understand your child has special needs and wonders why you're bringing a stroller where it's not permitted ), and for many rides you'll have a special line that's separate from the general line and less crowded. And of course, have a backup plan like a nearby hotel in case something unexpected happens, although with special needs I think most of us have that figured out already.

Oh yeah, the only downer: depending on the severity of the little ones' conditions, the only thing is there will likely be some rides that they can't go on. For instance since my son has muscle tone problems he can't go on anything where he has to sit upright on his own.

Hope you decided to make the trip, and don't worry, there will be plenty of us with special needs down there at the same time!

 

[MommaMouseketeer]

Hi! I didn't realize I had email notifications defaulted to be turned off so I wasn't notified about the response.

I did go and had a great time! We had a few struggles, but the knowledge I had from this forum and the unofficial guide, the help of the DLR CMs, the GAC, and a positive can-do attitude made it out to be a great vacation!

The anxiety was a big issue. Much more than I anticipated because of the regressive behaviors. Posed pictures were all but out. The animation academy led to a melt down. I adjusted quickly, though. Early morning were all out the window after Day 2 (our hardest). I let them sleep until they woke up and we went back for afternoon naps. That was a big help. You're right that a closer hotel would have been nice.

At one of the meltdowns that had a root in anxiety but was a majority of willful attitude and an attempt at sucking everyone else into chaos, I was at peace with saying, "You look like your emotions are a little out of control right now. That's OK. You can go to the daycare until you're in control again while your brother and I enjoy the parks." I was really glad I had thought through that and had given myself permission to use a babysitter if the need arose. I knew where they were and how to contact them and didn't feel guilty for providing whatever was needed. She decided that that would not be needed and we brainstormed a better way of dealing with her feeling anxious and out of control.

The GAC was such a HUGE blessing that made the entire vacation actually go like a normal family vacation. I don't know what we would have done without the ability to keep the stroller in line. There was a lot of stimming in the hotel room, especially when we were trying to get ready. Lots of jumping and crashing. But the lines and rides were able to avoid that with the accommodations, and that was my biggest worry. The hardest part of all was waiting an hour for the bellman to get our luggage in order to check it once we were packed. That was ridiculous and miserable for us and everyone around us. The best part was the dining. I had less than stellar experiences with two sous chefs and AMAZING experiences with Chef Natalie and Chef Moises. And the Aladdin CMs, the Soaring CMs, the Fantasyland CMs, Norma in Critter Country, Ryan at the Animation Academy... so many people worked to make it an amazing trip for us.

I am really glad we went. And really glad I came here and got the advice I did before we left! Thank you!

 

[cp11]

Nice to hear such a postive post and that you were able to go enjoy The Happiest Place on Earth.

 

[BlueBayou]

I am glad your trip went so well. Thanks so much for the update.

 

[MommaMouseketeer]

I started a thread on the trip report forum because I thought that's where it belonged. I didn't get any responses there, but I hadn't yet included any pictures or anything and I realized after I posted it that most threads there are really planning discussions or detailed reviews. I mostly posted it for when people are in the same position I was last month and they start googling, so they'll be able to see how their trip with similar circumstances might go. But I did express there my appreciation for all the help because it made a huge difference for us. Thank you!

6 Days: Single Parent, Disabilities, Multiple Food Allergies, Vegetarian