Well, this was supposed to be under my new screen name, "Bob from Boston", but as it turns out, you have to have 10 posts to put up pictures. Which would have taken away from the report. So I'm posting on Mel's account.......and HEEEEEEEERRRRREEEEEEEE IT GOOOOOOOOOOES:
Like most of you, our family has been to WDW, at least once before (a vast understatement) and so this time, we were looking for some activities that are a bit different. Maybe some behind the scenes tours, parasailing (more on that later), unexplored bars, etc. Or, maybe a ride on the most modern, least intuitive, frighteningly quick, electric personal transportation device in Disney. In case you didnt know (yeah right, what doesnt this group know about WDW), Disney offers a number of backstage experiences that, while exposing a little of the magic, offer a very informative and fun experience. Weve done the Behind the Seeds tour (Awesome! Especially if you are a gardener), and the Steam Trains. I hope to do them all. There is a listing of some of these backstage tours and activities here:
http://www.wdwinfo.com/wdwinfo/tours.htm
They are a great way to get to know Disney a whole lot better, but should only be done IMHO, after your second visit, due to the risk of exposing some of the Magic. Being a fan of most transportation machines, Mel thought that the Around the World at Epcot Segway tour would be right for me and Slinky Dog.
Before we start, you need to know what a Segway is. You may have seen Disney personnel riding them around in such pre-fun destinations as the MGM parking lot, the Epcot parking lot, or wherever Disney security needs to chase down someone who had a few too many Strongbows at the Rose and Crown. If you dont know what a Segway is, then click here for the website that explains these futuristic transportation devices:
http://www.segway.com/individual/models/i2.php
For those of you that have done this tour in the past, the Segway model has been updated to the new i2. Instead of turning by twisting the hand grips, you tilt the handle left or right.
So
..on with the tour!
We awoke at 6:30 (do you see a pattern forming here?
does anyone actually REST on vacation?) so we would have time to grab a bite before our 8:30 tour time. Walking outside, we were met by a cool sunny day, dry, with predicted highs in the mid-70s. Yes, that is the way I choose to remember the day. In reality, it was already 89 and we could have swam though the humidity, to our destination at Epcot Guest Services.
A brief stop on the Boardwalk for a muffin and coffee (SD had a sodapop for the rest of you) and we scurried off like ants under Gods magnifying glass, for the rear entrance of Epcot. Have I mentioned that its a bit warm in Orlando in June? (Note: Mel says, Yes, it was hot, they get it!). At least there was no wait for the bus!!! Now, I know Epcot does not open until about 9am and the World Showcase opens later, but it turns out that you can get in early, if you are booked on one of the tours. However, you cant get in at 7:50. Nope, they make you wait until 8:20 and they check to make sure you are on the list. But, if you are staying at Swan/Dolphin, Boardwalk, or Beach Club, you CAN get in the rear entrance for said tours. So, at 8:20 they let us through. On my best day I MIGHT be able to walk to Guest Services in 10 minutes, but in the heat it took about 15. Really, I know you are thinking, its not that far but its farther than you remember. You cant really go in a straight line. In SDs defense, he could have made it in 10. Regardless, we both made it in time for the tour.
The first thing they have you do is sign a disclaimer. For some reason, a sign is sufficient for other park attractions, but this one requires a release form. Hmmmmm
..what could be more intense than say, The Rockin Roller Coaster or Tower of Terror ??? So, we are signing the disclaimer and the minimum age requirement is 16. Luckily, SD aged one year in the blazing heat death march as we crossed the park. I lost 25 lbs and so, was able to meet the max weight restriction of 250 lbs. Neither one of us was pregnant, which would be harder to hide. I figure WDW has at least an 8% margin of error built into all requirements, so its all good. After you sign the release forms, they introduce you to your guide and you walk over to Innoventions for training. Ahhhhh
..blessed air conditioning! Now, if you never do the Segway tour, you can at least see the Segway vehicles inside this building. You can also see the tour training later in the day. My advice: do the tour before watching the training. Otherwise, you may say, Oi, I cant do that! (Note: British expression substituted for American equivalent, which starts with No f------- way and cannot be printed here). But if this is something you are dead set against doing, at least check out the Segways and laugh at the trainees.
Upon arrival at the training center, our instructor introduces himself as Lamont. It may be Lamonte, I cant remember, but it sounds like Lamont. My apologies to Lamont if I mis-spell his name throughout the report, but at least I will save the time of typing the e character. Lamont is one of the best trained, most professional, and qualified people Ive met at WDW. And that is saying a lot! Hes the BEST (thanks for the passes, Lamont! Kidding
..) Chances are, you will get him as an instructor, according to what he told us of his hours. He also trains the Disney personnel, so you are in good hands. Slight pause here while we wait for a British family to show up 10 min late. They made a good show of rushing in and being out of breath, so we forgive them (note: if you are reading this, you KNOW who you ARE). Probably jet lagged
it happens. Besides, I was enjoying the A/C. Helmets were handed out and we spent the next 10 minutes adjusting them
.but they never really fit well. I guess they fit well enough for the job. Everyone accounted for, Lamont put in a video briefing for us to watch. I dont remember much of it, so it doesnt really have much to do with the training. However, it gives you an overview of the Segway device. So, while the video plays, let me go off on a tangent here
..
Apparently, the thing to do is to tape (record, for you young-uns) the Seqway tour. So, the couple next to me were fiddling around with a helmet-cam the whole time. At the end of the video, Lamonts assistant had a brief chat with them and the camera got put away. I never found out if they were TOLD to put it away, or they just gave up. It would not surprise me if taping the whole thing was against the rules, but it may have been that they just couldnt figure out the mounting system. If anyone can shed light on this, SD and I will be eternally grateful. It is the one remaining mystery of our trip. One thing I am sure of is that they discourage taking pictures while ON the Segway
makes sense. But, they have a free-time spot where you can take pictures.
Alright, training video over, I think Im ready to ride! Nope, it turns out that we know nothing about the Segway yet and I am grateful that they didnt let me think that I did. Lamont went over the Segway systems including but not limited to, charging, controls, top speed, stopping, guidance system, rocket launchers, and shields. Then, and only then, were we allowed to walk our Segways out to the training floor. ----say, typing Segway is starting to get time consuming, so from here on in it will be known as the SW. I dont want my trip report coming up when someone Googles Segway----
There were about 9 people in our class and we all lined up on the designated spaces, leaving a 3 foot buffer zone around each of us. First training task, step onto the sw. Easier said than done. You have to hold the SW level and step onto the platform without tilting it, or it tends to move out from under you. Imagine holding a shovel in front of you, tip stuck into the ground, and you are going to step up onto the top of the shovel
with both feet! It feels very unnatural at first. Lamont says, eyes straight ahead, dont look down. Quite a leap of faith, trusting this machine to not tip over as you hear the gentle whir of motors and magic as the SW creeps forward and back. So Lamont says, look forward and hold in place, as I drift forward (Lamont rights me), then back (thanks again Lamont) and generally look like a fool. Eventually, I reduce my 4 ft oscillations down to 6 inches. Picture a fat man in a log rolling contest and youve got the picture (ya know, where they stand on a log, in the water and try to tip the other guy off). Meanwhile, SD is as still as Spaceship Earth, looking up at the ceiling and over his shoulder, like he is standing on terra firma. Huh. I always thought I had good balance, but looking around I see that in general, youth rules on the SW. After we master the difficult task of standing in place, they have us hop on and off the SW until we can do it without drifting off into our neighbors or the nearby walls. Lamont assures us that he once taught a blind man to do this???!!! Next, we get to turn by tilting the steering bar right and left. Im starting to see how SOMEDAY, this could be second nature, but now it just feels like when you first start to drive a car. You know, how you get progressively confident until you are totally comfortable with the experience. Then you crash into something. Now they mix in 4 ft. of forward motion, a 180 degree turn, and then back to your original spot. This is fun! No wait, I feel sick. No, Ive got it. This is fun!
Next, you get to go up and down ramps, run through a course of cones and negotiate a simulated curb. Slinky Dog makes it all look so easy, the instructor picks him for the demonstrations. I remain in the background, resembling a pear balancing on a pencil. We are repeatedly warned that the one limitation of the Segway is when the wheels brush against an obstacle, or another SW. Apparently, it will think that it is tipping and try to right itself, throwing the rider (yep, more on this later). Once Lamont is convinced we can make some basic maneuvers without crashing into each other, we form a line for our first expedition beyond the walls. We are off to
..the washrooms, for a much needed potty break. I however am afraid to get off my SW and remain upright (outside the washrooms
.cmon now!). Then we mount up for a trip to China! This is where we get to open them up for the first time and might I say, 6mph is mighty fast when you are standing on a levitating platform, one foot taller than you normally are. According to Lamont, our SWs are speed limited to 6mph, but they can do 12.5mph when they arent! That would be scary fast and probably fatal to our group of newbies. Of course, we would have tried it anyway, so its a good thing they limited us! So, we are buzzing across Futureworld toward our destination and it occurs to me that we look like
..well, I dont mean to offend anyone, but with our helmets and our impeccable posture, we look like either Devo groupies, or a squad of mental patients that have escaped their keeper. Really, this isnt meant to make fun of anyone with limitations mental or otherwise, but to give you a mental picture (no pun intended) of how we, the normal looked. Judging by the looks we got from the park attendees later on, I wasnt the only one to notice this. Youd better be ready to laugh at yourself before getting in such a conspicuous position! But man, its so fun you dont care. Our first stop (after the potty) was supposed to be China. However, when we arrived, there was a wedding in progress. Very nice, but we had to keep going. I had no idea you could do this in the World Showcase. There was also a wedding taking place in Japan, complete with cherry blossoms and rose pedals (no idea where they got the blossoms in June). Accompanying our trainer Lamont was a woman (her name eludes me) who served as a behind the scenes tour guide. One of the reasons you do these tours is to see some of the things that arent apparently obvious when you do the park on your own. She did not disappoint, pointing out fascinating facts about the Italy Pavilion and numerous hidden Mickeys. I dont want to spoil things for those who are going to take the tour, so I wont list them here. However, if you see me on Saturday night (for those going to the World Showcase), maybe we can meet up in Germany and Ill show you a pretty neat hidden Mickey. It is near one of my favorite spots
..the beer counter.
Now by this time we were getting pretty good. We could weave through the columns in St. Marks square, dismount and cross curbs and stairs, and run to the top speed of 6 MPH without soiling ourselves (well, I cant speak for everyone, but SD and I were tearing it up). We even drove through one of the gift shops. SD, who is just learning to drive was beginning to get, IMHO, overconfident and constantly tailgating me at this point. Since we were in WDW, I only gave him gentle reminders about this, confident that the consequences of his actions would prove me right soon enough.
Once we reached Japan, Lamont and the tour guide set up a free-ride zone (or was it a free-for-all-zone?) where we could weave and ride about. They were also very kind in offering to take pictures for anyone who wanted them. Humorous stories of past tours were shared and Lamont told us how he got this, the best gig in Epcot. It is worth noting that although Lamont comes from a very warm climate, he commented on how hot it was that day (See, see Mel; Its not just ME!). It was hot standing there, so SD got on the Segways and got the 6mph breeze going. We explored the top speed and handling limits of this unique transportation and then did a few side-by-side races. The speed limiter is very interesting in that it will tip the SW back slightly, once you reach the set speed. See, you lean forward to go forward and then straighten up to stop. If you go too fast, either intentionally or on a hill, it tips you back automatically. Neat! So, getting our confidence, we tried to go backwards. Lamont jumps up and says, Hold it guys! If you go backwards, you WILL fall off! Enough said
..we obeyed the pro immediately and stopped. He then explained that even after years of riding, he still has trouble going backwards. Hmm
I would think that they would have mentioned this, so Ill chalk it up to me daydreaming during the video. So, there we were, whipping around like we were born with wheels on our feet and then
.tragedy struck. Well, not exactly tragedy, but a mis-hap. One of the father and son teams violated the first commandment of Segway riding
thou shalt not let thy wheels collide with another SW or object. They did, and the fathers SW began to jerk violently back and forth. Before Lamont could react, the rider was gently tossed off, landing on his feet. He looked shaken, but unharmed. Youd think SD would have gotten the message
.You can see the collision in this video staring SD...watch the right side of the screen:
I caught it by accident, which is why it is not "in-frame"
After about 25 min of free time, we mounted up for the return trip to Innoventions. By this time, Futureworld was open (actually, I think World Showcase was beginning to fill) and we had our next challenge: negotiating crowds. Note: if you ever see a Segway tour, you should realize that they are barely in control and get the %&$ out of the way! The SW is fairly maneuverable, but in our amateur hands we were like marbles rolling down a water slide
..the general direction was true, but there were a LOT of minor course corrections. Luckily, our tour guide and trainer stepped in to part the crowd. At this point you feel like real VIPs, what with the crowd of gawkers parted before you. On the other hand, you feel like a bit of a freak
.but in a fun way. Plus, you can feint toward the crowd and they scatter like pigeons. Bwah, hah, hah, hah! Behold the Darkside of the Segway power!
So here we are, 200 ft from the edge of Innoventions, top speed with SD close behind
..very close behind
..I can feel his breath, and then
..Wham! Our wheels touch and my SW starts shaking like a startled Guinea pig. For a second there, we almost lost it. It looked like were doing some new mechanized dance---add some techno music and youd have a You Tube video. But, being the seasoned Segway pros that we were, we both got it under control. The only injury was my pride, as the bystanders gawked. Startling, yes, but not nearly as scary as I expected after watching the other guys. Really, it shouldnt deter you. The worst that would happen would be falling on your butt and you are only 9 to 12 inches higher than you normally are when you walk. Luckily, my cheeks were already flushed with the heat, so the embarrassment didnt show. As long as you stay away from errant teens, you should be fine. Now that I think of it, the problem is not the SW, but the teenagers! In SDs defense, he claims that I, stopped too quick, which gave me the perfect segway to a lecture on driving habits. Ahhhhhhh, so thats where they got the name! We brought our SWs back to their charging station and were awarded a special pin that you can ONLY get (as far as I know) by doing a Segway tour. The little man on the pin moves
.pretty cool! This is what the pin looks like:
I still stand amazed at the marvel of technology that is the Segway device. Even during our minor mis-hap, the stability of the vehicle is amazing. By the end of the tour, I couldnt remember how I couldnt get on it at the beginning. What a great way to get around Epcot! We all wished the tour could continue
To that end, I am signed up for the other Segway tour on August 23rd. It takes place at Fort Wilderness, on a special off-road version. Be there or be square! Well actually, you will look square if you DO show up and ride this thing
..but it will be FUN!
Check back in about 3 weeks for my Pear-a-Sailing report. Complete with airborne photos of the new Contemporary Resort additions and boat-based pictures of the floating man in the giant diaper!
--Bob from Boston
I'm sure your taking excellent care of him.
Well... This report tells me that I am NOT even going to ATTEMPT those things. They may be better than the first couple of Models.. but After having knee and shoulder surgery... I had better keep both feet on the GROUND... It would be funny though to turn "GREEN" Segway drivers loose in Epcot.. during NORMAL HOURS.... 
I totally want to do this tour someday. Just your description of it was great, and then I saw the video and was going "wheeeee" while watching it. 
I am all about stuff like that. I can't wait to hear about your adventures in August! Thanks Bob!
Bad Bob! 
Glad you came back. I was worried....
Now Mitch wants to know why he doesn't have an assumed name too. He wants to be known as Carl. What?! No offense to any Carl's, but I like Mitch better so he's stuck with it! 
We'll tell Lamont you said hi. 
