Mean Teen Girls Vent Update page 9

[goofy!]

See, you are applying too narrow of a definition to the words if you are so offended. One meaning of retarded is someone who's mental acuity is lower than a particular threshold. There are other understood meanings in conversational English. One is a situation that is just dumb. This definition is separate than the other. An engine can have it's timing retarded, yet no one is accusing the engine of being mentally handicapped.

The same goes with gay. One definition of gay is someone who is sexually attracted to members of their same sex. Another definition is someone who is happy. Sill, another understood definition is a situation that is strange or different. All of these definitions are mutually exclusive.

When someone is accused of being, dressing like, or acting like a ho they are not being compared with a tool that is used to loosen clumped dirt. The word is used in a different context because it has different definitions in conversational (aka slang) dialogue.

No word offends me, not a single one. Not one used in front of me or even directed at me. Words are just collections of letters, I don't attach emotional value to them.

As the parent of a daughter with Mental Retardation, I find your viewpoint very insulting.

The fact that you even admit that using the word "retarded" is to use it to describe something "dumb" shows how ignorant that viewpoint is to the population that are clinically retarded.

You are using a medical term to describe their developmental delay to refer to an act by a person that is "dumb". Can you not see that this is a direct slam to anybody with mental retardation in that if somebody is "retarded" or acting "retarded", it is negative and "dumb."

To use somebody's medical condition to describe an action as "dumb" in a negative connotation is very insulting to the group.

My daughter has Down syndrome. Words don't usually bother me, I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to politically incorrect use of language. For instance, I have had people ask me if she is a Mongoloid or is she a retard, both considered politically incorrect and highly insulting. However, that doesn't bother me because they were or are clinical terms for her condition.

However, to use Retard in an extremely negative way to denote poor behavior of somebody not mentally retarded is an insult to my daughter and thus, insults me.

To try to say it is "ok" and those of us with loved ones with developmental delays should just accept it, is even more of an insult as it implies that my daughter would not understand that others are being characterized as a "retard" because they are doing stupid behaviors.

My daughter is not stupid or dumb and her mental condition should never be used in a demeaning way to describe other people's stupid and dumb behavior.

 

[jrmasm]

Judge not lest ye be judged...

I make no apologies for judging people based on the hateful and disrespectful language that they use.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

As the parent of a daughter with Mental Retardation, I find your viewpoint very insulting.

The fact that you even admit that using the word "retarded" is to use it to describe something "dumb" shows how ignorant that viewpoint is to the population that are clinically retarded...

The PP did not say what you claim above. She said that the situation was dumb. Read it again...

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I make no apologies for judging people based on the hateful and disrespectful language that they use.

Of course you don't. You can be as hateful as you please, but only you, right?

 

[goofy!]

The PP did not say what you claim above. She said that the situation was dumb. Read it again...

She said she uses it all the time when a situation is "dumb." That is relating a medical condition of a group of human beings to a situation that is "dumb." This means that the person finds the retarded population in such a negative and dumb way that they use their medical definition to describe situations that they feel are similar.

There can be no other explanation of using a medical condition to describe a social situation as "dumb" except that you feel that the medical condition is "dumb" in itself.

The person who uses "retarded" to negatively describe "dumb" situations is directly referencing the medical condition and ascribing those same negative connotations to the clinically retarded population.

 

[FireDancer]

As the parent of a daughter with Mental Retardation, I find your viewpoint very insulting.

The fact that you even admit that using the word "retarded" is to use it to describe something "dumb" shows how ignorant that viewpoint is to the population that are clinically retarded.

You are using a medical term to describe their developmental delay to refer to an act by a person that is "dumb". Can you not see that this is a direct slam to anybody with mental retardation in that if somebody is "retarded" or acting "retarded", it is negative and "dumb."

To use somebody's medical condition to describe an action as "dumb" in a negative connotation is very insulting to the group.

My daughter has Down syndrome. Words don't usually bother me, I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to politically incorrect use of language. For instance, I have had people ask me if she is a Mongoloid or is she a retard, both considered politically incorrect and highly insulting. However, that doesn't bother me because they were or are clinical terms for her condition.

However, to use Retard in an extremely negative way to denote poor behavior of somebody not mentally retarded is an insult to my daughter and thus, insults me.

To try to say it is "ok" and those of us with loved ones with developmental delays should just accept it, is even more of an insult as it implies that my daughter would not understand that others are being characterized as a "retard" because they are doing stupid behaviors.

My daughter is not stupid or dumb and her mental condition should never be used in a demeaning way to describe other people's stupid and dumb behavior.

I don't use it in any reference to people with mental retardation. What you are saying is that every use of that word is in reference to one of it's many many meanings, conversationally and literally. The growth of anything can be retarded, the timing of an engine can be retarded, and a situation can be retarded. People, whether you like it or not, can act retarded outside of their mental ability. All of these are mutually exclusive meanings. Can someone who is not clinically an idiot act like one? I would say yes, so why is that ok but using another mental measurement and projecting that onto behavior is all of a sudden so taboo.

At no point am I eluding to the mentally challenged. Again, you have an emotional connection to a word that you are entitled to, just don't try to project it onto me.

 

[goofy!]

never mind. Don't need to stoop to their level.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

She said she uses it all the time when a situation is "dumb." That is relating a medical condition of a group of human beings to a situation that is "dumb." This means that the person finds the retarded population in such a negative and dumb way that they use their medical definition to describe situations that they feel are similar.

There can be no other explanation of using a medical condition to describe a social situation as "dumb" except that you feel that the medical condition is "dumb" in itself.

The person who uses "retarded" to negatively describe "dumb" situations is directly referencing the medical condition and ascribing those same negative connotations to the clinically retarded population.

Wow! Have we really become this politically correct?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'd have to give my sister an ultimatum--keep her kid in line or no longer be invited to be near my family. Fior mutli-family events, we would suck it up and be in attendance, but that sister will not say one cross word to my child.

Bottom line.

This isn't mean girl issue--this is family crap. (well it is a mean girl--but it's family crap, too!) I have no tolerance for family crap. It is not what family is supposed to be about. I also don't do to well with liars and it seems your DN may not quite be lying-but is omitting key information to her mother that she is saying mean things and thus is deserving of the snubs she gets from your daughter.

 

[jrmasm]

Of course you don't. You can be as hateful as you please, but only you, right?

What did I say that was hateful?

Go ahead and judge on my beliefs and upbringing. I'm completely fine with that. And I consider the source.

 

[ms.yt]

Yes, you can and people can judge you accordingly.

Before this thread gets closed, I'm wondering why you haven't addressed the posters who have asked you to explain why this is such a hot topic with you? There is obviously something going on here to explain your venom about the word jappy.
I've never heard that term before, so before it was explained on here I thought it was a typo in OP's post. Although I'm aware of the Jewish princess stereotype, it's not something I've ever encountered IRL as there aren't many Jewish folks in northeast Arkansas.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

What did I say that was hateful?

Go ahead and judge on my beliefs and upbringing. I'm completely fine with that. And I consider the source.

LOL - Whatever works for you. But, seriously, it isn't working for you, because you are way too bitter. Consider letting others live their lives with their own moral values and you might be happier.

FWIW, I don't use any of the negative adjectives mentioned in this thread, but I try not to impose my values on others - except for that one, that no one should impose their values on others...

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You and others can tell yourself that all you want but you are wrong. It is no different than gay or retard or the 'n' word.

It's really sad that you can't see that.

Since when is "gay" a slur?--I know the "f" word (in england a term used for a cigarette) isn't looked highly upon for gays, but I gotta say--GAY as slur when used to identify actual GAY people. Heck--it is used very very freely in support of gay rights?

My brother and his partner and my cousin and her partner and all the ummmm....non-heterosexual males we met at my brother and his partners commitment ceremony in Key West---would very much disagree!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

No, perception is more important than the intention.

This is no different than saying "you are so gay." Is that acceptable to you as well?

Gays use that statement with each other and they aren't offended.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I'd have to give my sister an ultimatum--keep her kid in line or no longer be invited to be near my family. Fior mutli-family events, we would suck it up and be in attendance, but that sister will not say one cross word to my child.

Bottom line.

This isn't mean girl issue--this is family crap. (well it is a mean girl--but it's family crap, too!) I have no tolerance for family crap. It is not what family is supposed to be about. I also don't do to well with liars and it seems your DN may not quite be lying-but is omitting key information to her mother that she is saying mean things and thus is deserving of the snubs she gets from your daughter.

She does lie. She was here one afternoon, a few years ago, and my DS started dropping the fbomb! And DD told me that DN taught it to her. She denied it to me of course...but I did finally get her to say, yes I said it. I mentioned it to SIL that DN taught that word to DS, and she was instantly oh no...my DD would NEVER do that. I mentioned it to my brother and he just laughed.

We actually don't do much with them. Chanukah at their house (if we can't get out of it), a bbq or bday party during the year. When the girls are being friendly, they might hang out together. I usually do lots with my DH's family, and we are starting to do alot of holidays with my DS's future in-laws. They are great . Much better then either mine or DH's family LOL!!

 

[JoiseyMom]

The only things I know about you, you have shown us in this thread.

WHich is a loving, caring, concerned, protective mom.

 

[goofy!]

LOL - Whatever works for you. But, seriously, it isn't working for you, because you are way too bitter. Consider letting others live their lives with their own moral values and you might be happier.

FWIW, I don't use any of the negative adjectives mentioned in this thread, but I try not to impose my values on others - except for that one, that no one should impose their values on others...

For the word JAP or JAPPY. Obviously the people that this word refer to and the ethnic group it refers to are happy with the word, refer to themselves with it and wear the label proudly. Because those affected have stated it is not a slur, it shouldn't be.

One is imposing their values on others when a group that is directly affected tells them that a word they are using is extremely insulting and please don't use it for demeaning situations and then they are basically told to go pound sand, that since "They" don't find it insulting, the group shouldn't. So, yes, that is imposing your values on something very, very strongly.

Most people who use the word retard to describe something dumb are not part of the group that retardation affects, therefore cannot decide whether the word is an insult to the retarded population or not.

It would be the same thing if the OP hadn't used the word first, a person not in the Jewish community used it, and the OP came on and said JAPPY was very insulting to the Jewish community. And then you (global you), said "too bad get over it, I am going to describe all stupid people as JAPS whether they were Jewish or not.

That would be insulting to the Jewish community AND be putting your own morals on it - deciding for a person whether they should be insulted or not.

If JAP all of a sudden started being used outside of the Jewish Community by non-Jews to describe some really nasty behavior, thus inferring that all Jews were nasty, then it would definitely become an insult to the community it refers back to.

There is a huge difference between using a word within a group and outsiders using the same word in a very negative way.

 

[lillygator]

So, do we ban all negative adjectives?

NO, not at all...I was just saying that, although people were stating it wasn't a negative word, for the purpose of her use in the OP, she meant it to be negative.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...One is imposing their values on others when a group that is directly affected tells them that a word they are using is extremely insulting and please don't use it for demeaning situations.

When they are basically telling that group to go pound sand, that "They" don't find it insulting, so the group shouldn't, then yes, that is imposing your values on something very, very strongly...

Let me use abortion as an example of my view point.

Some people find the very subject to be disgusting, and think that anyone that performs or receives an abortion should go to prison.

Others think that the rights of the mother supercede the rights of the fetus.

People align themselves all along the spectrum between these two points. In the end, its legality was decided with no discussion of moral relevancy. It was the rights of the mother than won out. Freedom won, even though millions were, and are, offended to the depths of their being. Freedom is important.

Religious and/or moral values of one group cannot be imposed on the masses - even in a case as potentially dangerous as this. If you are offended by a word, by all means tell the person that uses it - but don't expect them to agree with you or stop using it to please you. They might, but the choice is theirs. Freedom...

 

[goofy!]

Let me use abortion as an example of my view point.

Some people find the very subject to be disgusting, and think that anyone that performs or receives an abortion should go to prison.

Others think that the rights of the mother supercede the rights of the fetus.

People align themselves all along the spectrum between these two points. In the end, its legality was decided with no discussion of moral relevancy. It was the rights of the mother than won out. Freedom won, even though millions were, and are, offended to the depths of their being. Freedom is important.

Religious and/or moral values of one group cannot be imposed on the masses - even in a case as potentially dangerous as this. If you are offended by a word, by all means tell the person that uses it - but don't expect them to agree with you or stop using it to please you. They might, but the choice is theirs. Freedom...

Your example has absolutely nothing to do with the argument. The decision to having an abortion or not is not even closely related to insulting a group of people by using their "word" in a negative way.

The legal right to have or not to have a controversial medical procedure does not give one the right to insult a mass group of people, especially when that group of people have stated over and over again that the term is indeed very insulting.

This thread has gone off topic and my apologies to the OP.