Mean Teen Girls Vent Update page 9

[FireDancer]

I don't follow...So You can call me anything you want, and I can be offended, but I have to keep my "offendedness" to myself?

So then in your view, there is no such thing as hate-speech? It's all just words, and the intended targets of such speech have no right to project their perceived feelings of insult onto the person who made the speech.

Or have I misinterpreted you?

Unless the words become a call to action (kill all <insert here> for example) then no. A word is not hate. It I say Pollock does that mean I hate all Pollock’s? NO, I am one and have no self hatred. A call to action becomes hate speech because it has been deemed so. A word is not hate speech.

I also don't by the I can say a word because I am one argument. I can say Pollock because I am one and you can say it all you want even if you are not. If rappers are going to use the N word without impunity than everyone should have the same freedom. TO say one group of people, based on race, can use a word while others can't is literally saying there are different rules for different people based on the color of their skin. I find this wrong. Everyone is equal and should have equal rights to anything, including speech.

You are incorrect. There is ZERO argument. It is not a derogatory term PERIOD.

If I were to call a black person the N word--even if they use it freely within their community to "reclaim" the word--it would still be slur.

The GAY community does not recognized the word GAY as a slur. In fact it is very much PREFERRED terminology.

You can proclaim from the mountaintops that it is a slur, but it does not make it so.

http://www.gayneighbor.org/offensive.php

Note that this group that published this list (GLAAD) to define what is OFFENSIVE has the term GAY in their name.

A heterosexual on a disboard (I'm assuming since you call the word a slur but do not identify yourself as homosexual)--can't trump what the community has stated is an appropriate term. But it was nice of you to try to defend those who disagree with your reasoning. FWIW--I did not know this--but the word "homosexual" is considered offensive.

To equate it with the N word--is just wrong.


http://www.gayneighbor.org/offensive.php

While this is fascinating it is assuming I will use the value judgment of others to sway my own...which I will not. I don't care what GLAD or any other group feels about a word, I'll use any I want.

And for the record, I am very pro gay rights so the fact I use the word gay or anything else has no real determination on how I view gay rights. Again, it is merely a word, just like the "F" word or "Q" word that is used for the same meaning.

 

[ms.yt]

Since you are aware of the stereotype then I am sure you can understand that using it in a derogatory manner makes it a slur.

Yes, but I'm also aware that it seems that the people who it is usually directed at don't consider it a slur. I would compare it to the fact that I have used the term redneck to describe some people around here and not meant it as a compliment. However, the same people that I would use that term toward in a negative manner would take it as a compliment and likely even have stickers all over their trucks stating it proudly!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

While this is fascinating it is assuming I will use the value judgment of others to sway my own...which I will not. I don't care what GLAD or any other group feels about a word, I'll use any I want.

The statement and links and posting was directed at an individual who insisted it was a slur.

Your feelings are moot when trying to prove whether a specific word is an accetable term or unacceptable term as it leaves it to your opinion rather than linguistic fact.

Sadly--it seems that some folks think they can indepedently decide outside of norms and standards if a word is taboo or not. It's like they didnt get the memo.

I did look up Jap and it is considered a derogatory term. I am not familiar with its history and how it turned into an acceptable term. But langauge can always change. For years though (And even now) I first think of "japonese" when I see it. But I didn't know a jewish person until high school (and i only knew the one and she never used that term nor would I label her as such based on the definition.)

I first encountered the acronym in college.

 

[JoiseyMom]

OMG....you people are too much. THis thread has gotten so off topic..

All I can say is you are all such such........................................................................................................................







































DISER'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Sorry--DISER is a derogatory term.

I am offended.

Very offended....where's that report button.....

 

[JoiseyMom]

Sorry--DISER is a derogatory term.

I am offended.

Very offended....where's that report button.....

 

[DVCLiz]

I haven't read this whole thread, but am I the only one who found it hysterically funny that the OP used "jappy" and "walk on water" in the same post?

I think those are two metaphors that shouldn't be mixed...

 

[duckybelle]

Sorry--DISER is a derogatory term.

I am offended.

Very offended....where's that report button.....

I pop in here to read a thread and THIS is what I find?

I took the report button....and I'm NOT giving it back!

 

[TinaLala]

Now I didn't read the entire post, but I feel for you DD10 was bullied by 4 boys last year pretty badly that it crushed her confidence, her happy spirit and her grades. After two months of therapy and a week of girl scout camp it's getting better.

Someone on here said something about build self-confidence and the bullying won't happy, but that's not true. DD was a very confident happy go lucky girl until these boys started pushing her around and making her friends fearful of being her friends. By the end of the year she had no friends and felt pretty bad about herself. When the girls did talk to her they usually lied in order to be accepted by one girl who was a know it all. What I found out was that some girls will say or do what ever it takes in order to be liked and DD is self assured about herself and stays true to herself and that will be important in middle school. Now she doesn't care about the other girls and makes friends if she wants. I hope she has a great school year.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Well DD comes home today, and my DN did it again. Her birthday party is this weekend, and she told DD that she didn't want her there. Then said, well you can come, but just don't talk to me!! ***....well I was surprised to hear about a party since she had a Bat Mitzvah a few months ago.

But I had had enough. I spoke to my brother tonite and asked him if he realized our DD's wehre having issues..and he laughed and said no..they don't tell him about any issues . I told him what was going on, adn the things that DN had said to DD, adn the issue at my DS's party (which he didn't realized happened either). I then told him about what DN said about her party. He was like she did WHAT?>??> Needless to say he wasn't happy.

I am figuring I will get a phone call from my sil tomorrow. But who knows. I really want him to send her to another camp next year!! She hasn't gone to any camp more then 2 years at a time, and I really want my DD to have fun next summer!! But we shall see what happens.

DD is actually staying home tomorrow...it was really hot and humid today..and they usually have a hot and hazy day schedule with extra swim, but they didn't because of color war . Tomorrow is Six Flags for her, and she has been there every other week so far, and she decided she would rather stay home and be cool .

So, lets see what happens now. Family... sigh...

 

[EMom]

Give DN what she wants for her birthday. Don't go to her party. Of course, that means she gets no gift either, but hey....That was really HER decision, wasn't it? Seriously, I wouldn't go. If anyone asks, tell them she said your family wasn't welcome, so you decided you had better things to do.

As for camp, make it clear between now and next year that DD will be going to camp but that you do not want DN attended the same camp. Tell the parents to send her ANYWHERE but where you send DD. How many camps are there anyway? Does she find out where DD is going because your DD tells her? If so, then tell DD to hush up. If I really thought she'd ruin my DD's time at camp, I'd tell the camp that I'm signing up my child, but I want the deposit back if DN signs up too since she ruins the experience for DD. Tell them they can have ONE kid, but not both. They'll probably want the one who puts down a deposit first. A bird in the hand.......

Have fun doing something on party day and forget about that bday party.

 

[powellrj]

LOL, there is a whole lota drama going on at camp this year! First it was the t-shirt dilemma, now the niece dilemma. Thats a lot of drama for one summer!!!!!!

 

[lillygator]

I wouldn't go to the party, but I would also try and find other arrangements regarding camp for your DD....you can ask DN not to go to that camp but there is no guarantee.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Give DN what she wants for her birthday. Don't go to her party. Of course, that means she gets no gift either, but hey....That was really HER decision, wasn't it? Seriously, I wouldn't go. If anyone asks, tell them she said your family wasn't welcome, so you decided you had better things to do.

As for camp, make it clear between now and next year that DD will be going to camp but that you do not want DN attended the same camp. Tell the parents to send her ANYWHERE but where you send DD. How many camps are there anyway? Does she find out where DD is going because your DD tells her? If so, then tell DD to hush up. If I really thought she'd ruin my DD's time at camp, I'd tell the camp that I'm signing up my child, but I want the deposit back if DN signs up too since she ruins the experience for DD. Tell them they can have ONE kid, but not both. They'll probably want the one who puts down a deposit first. A bird in the hand.......

Have fun doing something on party day and forget about that bday party.

Well, DD has plans this weekend, she is having a sleep over at her BFF, and will probably be there all day Sunday. And since I wasn't called to be told about the party.. she wouldn't be going anyway. Even if a miracle happened and we did go, she wouldn't be getting a present, since she got a very very nice one for her Bat Mitzvah a few months ago. Her parent had it before she turned 13 . So she already has a gift so it wouldn't matter.

I can ask my brother to send her to another camp, but it isn't his decsion, his wife usually makes that decision. And if I tell her that..she will send her there just to spite me!! So that isn't going to work.

I wish the camp would do that, but they are not. And we are always paid in full on the last day of camp for the next year, to lock in the cheapest rates possible. I have no idea when sil signs her up.

DN knows about the camp because DD has been there for the past 8 years. Not much to hide. DS goes there too.

DD has to decide if she will stay at this camp next year if DN goes too.

Thanks for the input though!

 

[JoiseyMom]

I wouldn't go to the party, but I would also try and find other arrangements regarding camp for your DD....you can ask DN not to go to that camp but there is no guarantee.

Yes that is the problem, and DD has been there for 8 years...she has 2 more years to go before she "ages" out. She can do a training program the next 2 years with limited trips. but she really wants to do the teen travel. DD is the one that will have to decide what she is going to do next summer. Even if it means putting up with DN. I will ask my brother, but I am not sure how much "say" he has in the matter.

 

[donnajon]

Could you try telling SIL that your DD is not going to Camp ABC next year but rather you have heard wonderful things about Camp XYZ and she will be going there. Then send DD to Camp ABC anyway and maybe DN will show up at XYZ. Did that make sense?