1. The Galloping Gourmet is putting on a TV show opposite Monday Night Football, its called Monday Night _______ball.
4. 102 year old Mr. Periwinkle said Boy did I have a terrible day, some guy tried to hijack my _____ to Cuba.
5. The army just drafted Ugly Edna; they use her face as a ______.
8. The Godfather said When I was a kid I had a water gun, but I didnt fill it with water, instead I used ______.
9. Farmer Brown said I never should have hired that midget farm hand, he is so short, he has to stand on his tiptoes to _______.
10. Judy said My boyfriend, hes really weird, hes so weird he even parts the hair on his _______.
12. Seymour said I think my wife is having an affair with an automechanic, last night I found a ______ in our bed.
15. Dumb Doris is so dumb when the doctor told her she had a tapeworm in her stomach, to get rid of the worm she swallowed a _____.
17. Did you hear about the nearsighted farmer, he once returned a ______ because it wouldnt lay eggs.
18. Sir Lance A-Lot said Im never bringing my suit of armor to that dry cleaner again, last time I brought it in they ______ it.
19. The police inspector said Last night we set a trap to catch the delicatessen burglar, we went over to Burneys Deli and put ______ on the doors.
21. Ralph the boxer said I never should have boxed that midget, now I got cauliflower ______.
22. Ugly Edna said I hate Ralph, he asked me for my picture and when I gave it to him he used it as a _______.
23. Judy said Mark was some lucky guy, sure he had a terrible car accident but at least he ran into a _______.
25. In the Foreign Legion one soldier said to the other I think they have run out of French Medals, the colonel just pinned a French _______ to my chest.
26. Barry said My wife treats me like a horse, last week we went to a nudist camp and she made me wear a ______.
27. Fred said My parents didnt like me, when I was a baby, instead of baby powder, my mom used _____ powder.
29. Once a year, Horrible Hannah takes a bath; she gets so dirty that instead of soap she has to use _______.
30. Jolly Green Giant said My wife wont let me go to New York anymore because after my last trip she looked through my suitcase and found the Statue of Libertys _______.