Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[TKDisneylover]

I was peeing b/c my SIL is all cha-cha. She has on her matching outfit- her cha-cha rhinestone studded glasses, her dangling earrings, she looks at us and says- I *would* go in and get it but the water looks gross She wasn't going anywhere DH wasn't even going in for it-

The being all cha-cha makes me laugh . My best friend and I always say that after our DH's croke (cuz guys always go first! ), that you will see us driving around in our convertible with white rimmed sunglasses, and dangly ball earrings (think an old Carol Burnett character snapping her gum)! The description of your SIL brought that picture into my head, anyway....

So Tammy- when is your cemetery investigation??!

I told DH- I want to check out some cemeteries down the shore at night- we do not do much at night anyway when we are down there! Just hang out. He is not too keen on the idea- but if I whine enough, he may go for it

We were going to head out this past Friday or Saturday night, but we had to move my mother into a new apartment. We cleaned the new place Friday night and moved her all day Saturday, needless to say we were WIPED OUT!! So the plan is to try again this weekend. I will be sure to send you mist & orb pics immediately! Maybe I'll throw in a few apparitions too!

 

[zima-cheryl]

I still have some rose bushes to plant- 6 of them!!

I went to the garden center and they had 50% off on all of their rose bushes- I can not pass up that! So I got 2 Peace and 2 Princess De Monacos- I also got 2 Lemon Drop tea roses. They are trained to grow, not as a bush, but it looks like a long trunk with a little ball on top.

And this is way cool........the girl I buy my plants from said her boss told her to TRASH all of the annuals that were left there! She said she can't just trash them, so she told me and mom to take whatever we wanted! I got 3 large trays of annuals. FREE!

The lemon drops must be just beautiful!

And what a deal on the annuals!!! I know you can always get them on the cheap this time of year... but free is my favorite price. And there is always room for them somewhere!

 

[PhotobearSam]

I can't believe what I am about to type but I actually had a pretty BLISSFUL weekend...even though we worked 12 to 15 hrs a day 7 days a week right now, I had an awesome weekend.


DH is off from work due to a cellulitis infection. He is hooked up to a 24 hr a day IV bag with a pump. He carries it around 24/7. We had horrible rain, it's cold and the tourists are complaining but I still managed to have a good weekend.

DH and I got to work together. He was a lot of help. We giggled a lot. Had a lot of laughs, spend time together and realized it was exactly as it should be.

I knew my DH was the one for me when we left Columbia SC, and did not even turn the car radio on till we got to Mass......We just like each other...It's the basis for everything.

None of this would have been possible with children,
BLISS BLISS BLISS

 

[maddhatir]

DH is off from work due to a cellulitis infection. He is hooked up to a 24 hr a day IV bag with a pump. He carries it around 24/7.

OOOO- Sam! I hope your DH is feeling better soon!

How long will he be on the pump- see! if you had kids- THEY can take care of him......get the kids primed for when he gets old and can't get around .......

 

[TKDisneylover]

I can't believe what I am about to type but I actually had a pretty BLISSFUL weekend...even though we worked 12 to 15 hrs a day 7 days a week right now, I had an awesome weekend.


DH is off from work due to a cellulitis infection. He is hooked up to a 24 hr a day IV bag with a pump. He carries it around 24/7. We had horrible rain, it's cold and the tourists are complaining but I still managed to have a good weekend.

DH and I got to work together. He was a lot of help. We giggled a lot. Had a lot of laughs, spend time together and realized it was exactly as it should be.

I knew my DH was the one for me when we left Columbia SC, and did not even turn the car radio on till we got to Mass......We just like each other...It's the basis for everything.

None of this would have been possible with children,
BLISS BLISS BLISS

Sorry to hear about your DH's cellulitis infection. How long does it take for something like that to clear up? Regardless of the illness you were really able to enjoy each other's company and make light of the long days! I could not imagine dealing with that combined and then having to chase around kids, UGH!! THANK GOODNESS YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!!

I'm noticing a pattern on this board, no kids makes for happy couples. And not just happy, but connected and loving the time that we spend with our significant other's. That truly is a blissful existence for everyone!

 

[KirklandTutu]

So, I'm on vacation
and DH is out of town this week on business


...I'm tempted to hop a flight down to Disneyland for a day

 

[maddhatir]

So, I'm on vacation
and DH is out of town this week on business


...I'm tempted to hop a flight down to Disneyland for a day

GO FOR IT!

But how do the airfares look???

 

[CJK]

Hi all! It's been a looooong time since I've posted on this thread so I'm sure no one remembers me from back in the day! I haven't had the chance to read a lot of this thread, but I plan to do that very soon. Hope everyone is doing well!

I was wondering if any of you have had to deal with this situation, and if so, how do you deal with it????? July was a busy month for me with lots of summer visiting with friends. We're all in our mid 30's and are busy having children. Well, everyone but me that is..... ALL of my get togethers have included children (kids ages range from 6 to newborn, and many of my friends are pregnant or trying to get pregnant). I actually have a bond with many of these kids so I found myself playing with the kids a lot, giving the parents a break. I like that to a point, but then I missed out on what little adult conversation there actually was... I love my friends dearly, but honestly......I was sooooo tired of having to clean up after kids, entertain them and much of the conversations revolved around kids too. I don't blame my friends for that since it's natural and I'd be worried if it wasn't that way to a point. I have no problem with that really, especially since I genuinely do enjoy children.

Yet, I found myself feeling a real sense of loss. I was longing for the get togethers of the past where we'd all laugh and joke, go out together, travel, etc... On one particular get together, it consisted of 4 friends and 6 children all under the age of 3. I left feeling tired, exhausted and embarrassingly, I cried as soon as I was out of sight of the house. We have so little in common these days. Maybe it will change as the kids get older, I'm not sure. I've considered joining groups of fellow-minded people as well. That may help, but I can't help but feel like I'm in mourning for my old friends. Does that make me selfish?

I'm curious to hear what others think about this situation. Thanks so much.

 

[maddhatir]

Hi all! It's been a looooong time since I've posted on this thread so I'm sure no one remembers me from back in the day! I haven't had the chance to read a lot of this thread, but I plan to do that very soon. Hope everyone is doing well!

Welcome back!

I know what you mean- I often wonder sometimes after I leave a get together, why did I even get together!?

However- As I am walking out and getting into my nice quiet car all I think is, THANK GOODNESS I am leaving alone!

My SIL talks about all of her playdates and all I can think of is....ugh......sounds exhausting and loud to me!

I am lucky to have a few friends who's children are now teens and they can actually go out for an adult night out! The time will come when your friends will become part of the living again! You are certainly not selfish to wish you can have your good friends back in your life!

 

[zima-cheryl]

Hi all! It's been a looooong time since I've posted on this thread so I'm sure no one remembers me from back in the day! I haven't had the chance to read a lot of this thread, but I plan to do that very soon. Hope everyone is doing well!

I was wondering if any of you have had to deal with this situation, and if so, how do you deal with it????? July was a busy month for me with lots of summer visiting with friends. We're all in our mid 30's and are busy having children. Well, everyone but me that is..... ALL of my get togethers have included children (kids ages range from 6 to newborn, and many of my friends are pregnant or trying to get pregnant). I actually have a bond with many of these kids so I found myself playing with the kids a lot, giving the parents a break. I like that to a point, but then I missed out on what little adult conversation there actually was... I love my friends dearly, but honestly......I was sooooo tired of having to clean up after kids, entertain them and much of the conversations revolved around kids too. I don't blame my friends for that since it's natural and I'd be worried if it wasn't that way to a point. I have no problem with that really, especially since I genuinely do enjoy children.

Yet, I found myself feeling a real sense of loss. I was longing for the get togethers of the past where we'd all laugh and joke, go out together, travel, etc... On one particular get together, it consisted of 4 friends and 6 children all under the age of 3. I left feeling tired, exhausted and embarrassingly, I cried as soon as I was out of sight of the house. We have so little in common these days. Maybe it will change as the kids get older, I'm not sure. I've considered joining groups of fellow-minded people as well. That may help, but I can't help but feel like I'm in mourning for my old friends. Does that make me selfish?

I'm curious to hear what others think about this situation. Thanks so much.

I have to second what Madd says... try to stay in touch, at least somewhat, because in time the kids grow up & things change again.

We have friends who's youngest just turned 16 & who's oldest 2 kids are now old enough to drink w/the adults (boy does that make me feel old!! I remember these kids in diapers... )

 

[KirklandTutu]

GO FOR IT!

But how do the airfares look???

Horrible, so no Disneyland this time around.
Whatever happened to cheap, last minute air fare?
It's all good though, I've got deviled eggs.


---------------------------------------------

DH and I are lucky, we have several friends who are leading a child-free lifestyle. We have still lost several friends over the years as they've had children. It's not that we don't want to be around them or their kids, it's just that they have no time in their life for things that aren't child-centered.

 

[MistyMoss]

I have to second what Madd says... try to stay in touch, at least somewhat, because in time the kids grow up & things change again.

We have friends who's youngest just turned 16 & who's oldest 2 kids are now old enough to drink w/the adults (boy does that make me feel old!! I remember these kids in diapers... )

I will third what Madd says too.......

Being in my late 40's most peoples kids are teens or older. We were at Lake of the Ozarks this past week and had a group of about 20 or so people. Most of the people were our age but their kids were there too. They were all over 21, so it was just one big party. Too bad we can't hang with the kids like we used to, but we still had a great time.

We have known all of these people since before they had kids and while you may not see them as much you can still see them and remain friends. Some you will weed out as they simply want to be only with other parents and only do and talk about all things kids. Those friends unfortunately are probably gone for good.

 

[zima-cheryl]

Whatever happened to cheap, last minute air fare?

Did you check Air Fare Watch Dog (http://www.airfarewatchdog.com)
I'm not sure where you are flying from? But it might be worth checking them out.

It's all good though, I've got deviled eggs.

Do you make yours with or without mustard?
And do you use regular mayonaise? or Miracle Whip?

 

[shaqie1]

I am 35(uggg) all of my former friends have children under the age of six. I don't see them anymore. When the 1st baby was born we kit but it was alot of babysitting on my part but once this friend had her 2nd it was too much. My next friend, her sister, then had her baby. So it's me n DH for the most part. We have some friends that live about an hour away w/ no kids but never get to see them and we each have a friend from work in their 20's that are single.I am close w/ my sister but she is also bitten by the baby bug and is looking to adopt. Although I will still see her @ the many family gatherings our relationship will definately change. I guess that is the price you pay for a quiet and selfish exsistance. I think for me it is worth it!
My husband and I are best friends and truly enjoy each other's company. We love to travel and have 2 beautiful dogs that we adore! Maybe we will meet a couple w/ no kids but I'm in no hurry. I like having DH all to myself anyway. Most of the time when couples go out it's split men together women together! NO THANKS I am not really a fan of women and certainly do not want to entertain some woman I don't know because my DH is friends w/ her DH. I say go golfing and leave me out of it! Oh well that;s just me.

 

[maddhatir]

I am 35(uggg) all of my former friends have children under the age of six. I don't see them anymore. When the 1st baby was born we kit but it was alot of babysitting on my part but once this friend had her 2nd it was too much. My next friend, her sister, then had her baby. So it's me n DH for the most part. We have some friends that live about an hour away w/ no kids but never get to see them and we each have a friend from work in their 20's that are single.I am close w/ my sister but she is also bitten by the baby bug and is looking to adopt. Although I will still see her @ the many family gatherings our relationship will definately change. I guess that is the price you pay for a quiet and selfish exsistance. I think for me it is worth it!
My husband and I are best friends and truly enjoy each other's company. We love to travel and have 2 beautiful dogs that we adore! Maybe we will meet a couple w/ no kids but I'm in no hurry. I like having DH all to myself anyway. Most of the time when couples go out it's split men together women together! NO THANKS I am not really a fan of women and certainly do not want to entertain some woman I don't know because my DH is friends w/ her DH. I say go golfing and leave me out of it! Oh well that;s just me.

Welcome!

I am not sure about your relationship with your sis changing for the worse! You might be surprised. I know you are not too fond of other people's kids- but when the child is your sister's- you might feel a bond!......OK a bond- but you still may want to give them back after 10 minutes- but a bond nonetheless

I know what you mean about some women- The women I am friends with, I have known since I was a child and some I met in my teens. And all of us girls would just hang with the guys. Even when I am the only female- I like hanging with the guys. They keep me laughing.

I am not fond of letting other people into my circle of friends. NOT saying I am not friendly when I meet people, I might talk your ear off if we click- but I doubt seeing myself meeting someone new and wanting to hang out with them all the time. I like my circle! (even though some of my circle have kids )

I am still best friends with the girl who grew up next door to me- we have known each other since we were 5- and we will let people in so far- but then draw the line.

I am always amazed at how many people out there are just not fun A lot of them seem like they need to pull the stick out! WAY to serious for me- I like the way me and my friends "get each other"

Sorry for rambling, too much coffee this morning --- and again, welcome! Hope you stay!

 

[EJKorvette]

I recently came across a recipe for Absinthe in an herb gardening book I have. I was considering trying this recipe, but your "fairy puke" is scaring me!

As you probably know, wormwood is the second bitterest herb. If you follow your recipe which I am sure uses all sorts of other herbs (I have seen some recipes), it will taste better.

EJKorvette

 

[KirklandTutu]

Did you check Air Fare Watch Dog (http://www.airfarewatchdog.com)
I'm not sure where you are flying from? But it might be worth checking them out.

Thanks for the tip. I've never used one of those websites before. We just always go on Alaska and use DH's companies travel agent.
No Disneyland this week, though, I should have started thinking about it on Monday!



Do you make yours with or without mustard?
And do you use regular mayonaise? or Miracle Whip?

I think my mom's reciepe calls for mayo and mustard, along with relish and some spices. I just went with what I had in the fridge--mayo, pickels (chopped lovingly by hand), garlic salt, pepper, and paprika.

Most of the time when couples go out it's split men together women together! NO THANKS I am not really a fan of women and certainly do not want to entertain some woman I don't know because my DH is friends w/ her DH. I say go golfing and leave me out of it! Oh well that;s just me.

Word.

 

[Bushmills]

Wow, if you ever want an expedited trip into the surreal, try jumping from the first to the last page in a mult-hundred page post! I went from reading about couples with no kids, straight into Abisynth recipes and talk of mayonaisse (sp?).

Just thought I'd add my 2 cents, as it's reassuring to read about others in our situation. My wife and I have been married for 10 years now (surprised she's put up with me for this amount of time), and have never felt the need / desire to have kids (that and they passed several embarrasing municipal laws preventing me from procreating a few years back). However, like other posters, we've literally lost all of our friends to the HBV (having babies virus). They started having children, evolved their lives to revolve around said children, and over time, grew apart from us (or maybe the other way around). Now in our mid-late 30's, we still love going out and having fun like we used to, but have no friends in the same situation to have fun with. We LOVE Disney, and theme parks, but if we want to go with friends, we have to spend more time around the "child friendly" activities, then what we want to do.

Anyway, I digress, to previous poster's points, we have no kids, don't want children, and find ourselves alone in a sea of diapers and stressed out parents who used to like to have fun. Ah well, maybe we should start a club. We're spending Christmas in Disney again this year, which probably wouldn't be possible if we had youngin's.

PS - isn't wormwood the active ingredient in Absynth?

 

[HockeyKat]

Bushmills, I feel your pain. And I LOVE the term HBV!!!

There is a club here in Raleigh called No Kidding. I believe that they have chapters all over the US, so maybe there is one in your city? I have yet to go to an event but hope to someday soon.

 

[maddhatir]

Wow, if you ever want an expedited trip into the surreal, try jumping from the first to the last page in a mult-hundred page post! I went from reading about couples with no kids, straight into Abisynth recipes and talk of mayonaisse (sp?).

PS - isn't wormwood the active ingredient in Absynth?

Welcome!

We are now comfortable enough with each other to be able to discuss deviled eggs, mayo and absinthe!

Yes- wormwood is the active ingredient. But as I stated- I have never seen, nor do I think I will ever see, The Green Fairy! OK- maybe I WILL- but it will certainly not be from drinking too much of anything!

BTW- .....your name, BUSHMILLS as in Bushmills?? The whiskey??