Married men, do you NEED to be touched by your spouse?

[PrincessaC]

If I could only touch dh right now...

but to answer your question... I'm not a man.. but from dh's point of view..he is not really a touchy feeling type person but he never pushes me away

ahhh... only 80 more days to go...

 

[swilphil]

My husband is touchy feely too, this is something we were just talking about, as a matter of fact. I'm like the other mom in that I get my fill, and then some, from my kids. My 4 year old son is literally crawling all over me everytime I sit and asks to be held constantly. Then I have to carry the 2 year old when we leave the house or he'll end up getting hit by a car. By the time my husband gets home, I don't want anybody to touch me.

I'm trying to find a compromise with him though, like give a hug or kiss everytime one of us leaves and returns home or snuggling a little when we're just watching tv.

 

[parrothead365]

I'm a touchy feely guy. My lovely bride and I have always been that way.

 

[Sleepy]

I think my husband could go the rest of his life without contact such as a hug or hand holding, etc. In fact, just the other day we were walking down the street and he actually reached out and held my hand. Made me feel kinda wierd like he was about to tell me he wanted a divorce or something. Had to stop and think of the last time he had hugged me or held my hand.

 

[NMAmy]

DH is very touchy-feely. Which is great because so am I.

 

[dmslush]

SO and I are both touchy feely. We lay in bed each night and actually hold hand while we watch tv.. lol, how teenage is that!

OP, even though you don't feel the need to have that touch, you really need to try to give it to your partner. If he needs to be touched and loved on, and if you do it, it is only going to add to your relationship. Many times there are ways to do this without having to kiss, hold hands, etc.. when sitting on the couch watching tv, lay your legs across his lap. When eating dinner, place your chair next to his.. things like that.

 

[chobie]

My husband definitely has a greater need for 'touchiness' than I do. This is especially true since my daughter was born. She was a high-need infant, so for 3 months I held her practically 24 hours a day, so when I got the chance to put her down I relished having my body to myself, which annoyed my husband. Even now, she's still nursing throughout the night and mostly cosleeping, so when I'm feeding her and my husband's arm comes around me I go crazy! The way I feel (not all the time, I should add) is that if it's not her touching me it's him! Don't get me wrong, I love them both, and there's nothing better than hugging my daughter (and my husband too, but you know how that hug from a baby is), but I look forward to time alone too.

BTDT. I also have a touchy-feely, huggy, husband I have a hard time with it. I especially don't like it when he comes up from behind me and hugs me, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don''t like to be touched by surprise.

 

[justhat]

SO and I are both touchy feely. We lay in bed each night and actually hold hand while we watch tv.. lol, how teenage is that!

OP, even though you don't feel the need to have that touch, you really need to try to give it to your partner. If he needs to be touched and loved on, and if you do it, it is only going to add to your relationship. Many times there are ways to do this without having to kiss, hold hands, etc.. when sitting on the couch watching tv, lay your legs across his lap. When eating dinner, place your chair next to his.. things like that.

Like I already posted, my husband needs touch, but he HATES it when I lay on the couch with my legs on his lap. I tend to do it anyway cause the 3 of us always end up on the same tiny couch (it faces the tv!), but he said it makes him feel like an ottoman.

I understand doing it for his benefit and all, but while it adds to the relationship for him, it honestly takes away from it for me. I just feel so 'touched out' sometimes from my daughter, and doing it cause I 'have to' would really make me resentful after awhile.

chobie, glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like that! I think it's especially tough while you've got a breastfeeder, cause then you're constantly attached to another little body. Though I have to admit I'm still a bit like that without the baby, and I think it's genetic cause my daughter is too! Since she was born, if you try to touch her and she's not in the mood she'll pull her hand away, or push your body away from hers. And she's pretty strong so she gets her goal accomplished. She does that more with my husband than me, I guess cause I'm around her all day and she needs me for food and stuff, so she accepts me more. Poor guy, no one wants to touch him!