Married men, do you NEED to be touched by your spouse?

[Lewski709]

On a daily basis......most men don't need to snuggle, hug or be touched, IMO.
I think I've got one who needs more than others, in general. Maybe I'm odd, I just don't need a lot of touchy feely time. For me, I am ok with that only happening during love.

 

[Shugardrawers]

They may THINK they don't need it but everyone needs daily affection. My DH is FAR FAR FAR from being a wimpy, soft kinda guy. He's in fact a VERY macho kinda guy but he's the most affectionate person I've ever known. We don't walk side by side without holding hands, he hugs and holds me a lot, touches me a lot, and LOVES to snuggle. He kisses me many, many times a day and tells me several times a day he loves me. Some people feel less need to be physically connected to their SO but everyone needs affection.

 

[Papa Deuce]

On a daily basis......most men don't need to snuggle, hug or be touched, IMO.
I think I've got one who needs more than others, in general. Maybe I'm odd, I just don't need a lot of touchy feely time. For me, I am ok with that only happening during love.

I don't "need" it, but I sure feel better when I get it. A whole lot better.

 

[mrsheppo]

My DH loves to cuddle, touch, hug and tell me how much he loves and needs me. He is one of a kind. My 1st husband did not like to show emotion except anger. I am so happy to have the wonderful man I have.

 

[ZachnElli]

My dh is a VERY touchy feely kinda of person. He's also big on the compliments. So, yes, he needs it!

 

[TigerBear]

Although I am not married and I am not a man your posts reminds me of a very intriguing book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. Chapman argues that there are five ways that people feel and show love: Words of Affirmation, Works of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, and Physical Touch.

Chapman contends that most people have a primary love language - the way in which they feel the most loved. For some people physical touch is their primary love language. They definitely need a lot of touch to feel like they are loved. For others, it is much less important. He argues of the importance of being able to identify and speak our partner's primary love language - for if we do not speak their language, they will never feel fully loved by us. I think there is some truth in this...

 

[GeorgeG]

I don't think I need to be touched on a daily basis, but I like hugs a lot.

 

[totalia]

Neither my honey nor I are touchy feely type people.

 

[Kitty 34]

Neither my honey nor I are touchy feely type people.

same here

 

[poohandwendy]

Although I am not married and I am not a man your posts reminds me of a very intriguing book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. Chapman argues that there are five ways that people feel and show love: Words of Affirmation, Works of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, and Physical Touch.

Chapman contends that most people have a primary love language - the way in which they feel the most loved. For some people physical touch is their primary love language. They definitely need a lot of touch to feel like they are loved. For others, it is much less important. He argues of the importance of being able to identify and speak our partner's primary love language - for if we do not speak their language, they will never feel fully loved by us. I think there is some truth in this...

That sounds like a fascinating book TB. I think there is alot of truth in it. I think that sort of 'misunderstanding' of needs is why many people have a hard time in their relationships. There is a similar theme in a book I read a long time ago called "His needs, her Needs" written by a guy named Harley (I think).

My DH and I pretty much have an equal need for touch.

 

[Viking]

They may THINK they don't need it but everyone needs daily affection. My DH is FAR FAR FAR from being a wimpy, soft kinda guy. He's in fact a VERY macho kinda guy but he's the most affectionate person I've ever known. We don't walk side by side without holding hands, he hugs and holds me a lot, touches me a lot, and LOVES to snuggle. He kisses me many, many times a day and tells me several times a day he loves me. Some people feel less need to be physically connected to their SO but everyone needs affection.

Same with me and my DW

 

[Pin Wizard]

I can be a real crank at times from lack of it!

 

[Lewski709]

Although I am not married and I am not a man your posts reminds me of a very intriguing book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages. Chapman argues that there are five ways that people feel and show love: Words of Affirmation, Works of Service, Quality Time, Gifts, and Physical Touch.

Chapman contends that most people have a primary love language - the way in which they feel the most loved. For some people physical touch is their primary love language. They definitely need a lot of touch to feel like they are loved. For others, it is much less important. He argues of the importance of being able to identify and speak our partner's primary love language - for if we do not speak their language, they will never feel fully loved by us. I think there is some truth in this...

I know of this book.

We have some issues because I lack the need/want for general touchy feely affection, he doesn't. In fact, he craves it.

 

[mickeyboat]

My DH is sitting here begging me to respond. He says he definitely needs that kind of touching on a daily basis.

Denae

 

[justhat]

My husband definitely has a greater need for 'touchiness' than I do. This is especially true since my daughter was born. She was a high-need infant, so for 3 months I held her practically 24 hours a day, so when I got the chance to put her down I relished having my body to myself, which annoyed my husband. Even now, she's still nursing throughout the night and mostly cosleeping, so when I'm feeding her and my husband's arm comes around me I go crazy! The way I feel (not all the time, I should add) is that if it's not her touching me it's him! Don't get me wrong, I love them both, and there's nothing better than hugging my daughter (and my husband too, but you know how that hug from a baby is), but I look forward to time alone too.

 

[dcentity2000]

Wooo, this is a bit of a daring thread...



Rich::

 

[rascalmom]

This is going to sound flip, but I don't mean it that way. Get a puppy!

My dh & I definitely have different touch quotients. Add the fact that for several years I was home all day holding and caring for our babies. I was overloaded with "touch" and he was feeling short changed. I had read The Five Languages of Love too, it is a great book.

Well, a couple of years ago we got a puppy. He sleeps every night curled up right againt my dh's legs or feet. They're both happy! LOL!

 

[Lewski709]

This is going to sound flip, but I don't mean it that way. Get a puppy!

He's got a dog, it's not enough. I don't think any amount would ever be enough. He says that's not so.

 

[DemonLlama]

This has changed over the years for me. During the baby years, DH was missing the daily touchee quotient, since I was a lot like my username during that time: "No touchee!"

Mid-30s and we've discovered both of our quotients are higher now more than ever.

 

[4nana]

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My DH is a very huggy, cuddly, sentimental Teddybear type.