Marriage Counseling

[lovinwdw]

Anyone have any input? Husband approached me with this last night, saying that we have some problems we need to resolve and he wants to go to marriage counseling. I just want to know if this has actually every helped anyone.

 

[tinaluis]

DH and I did this before we got married because we were basically having the same argument over and over. The counselor helped us to get the the real problem, as opposed to arguing over the things each of us threw in to divert attention from the real issue. I feel it definitely helped us.

 

[LindaR]

The sucess of counseling depends on the mindset of the people involved. The counselor will not solve YOUR problems. He/she will teach you guys how to spot potential problems or issues and teach you how to deal with them. If you go in with a negative attitude and resist doing the things you are told, you will not accomplish anything. If you go in with an open mind and open heart and truly want to "fix" things, then you stand a very good chance of being sucessful. Good luck.

 

[lovinwdw]

The sucess of counseling depends on the mindset of the people involved. The counselor will not solve YOUR problems. He/she will teach you guys how to spot potential problems or issues and teach you how to deal with them. If you go in with a negative attitude and resist doing the things you are told, you will not accomplish anything. If you go in with an open mind and open heart and truly want to "fix" things, then you stand a very good chance of being sucessful. Good luck.

I told my husband that I would go into it wholeheartedly. I want things to work with us. I love him more than even I knew. I can't imagine my life without him. There is just one major problem that we need help with. He said that he loves me and that he is in no way even thinking about divorce, but I know that if we don't take care of this now, it will eventually lead to that. I have been crying for the past 2 days, can't stop. I hope that this works. But, I almost feel funny now about our marriage, almost like we are doomed.

 

[ObsessedwithWDW]

Can't say from personal experience whether it works or not but I have to agree it would make sense that if your both open minded and willing to listen and learn it could be a great tool to strengthen your marriage! I wish you and yours the best of luck with it! HUGS!

 

[mtblujeans]

The sucess of counseling depends on the mindset of the people involved. The counselor will not solve YOUR problems. He/she will teach you guys how to spot potential problems or issues and teach you how to deal with them. If you go in with a negative attitude and resist doing the things you are told, you will not accomplish anything. If you go in with an open mind and open heart and truly want to "fix" things, then you stand a very good chance of being sucessful. Good luck.

I agree....the Counselor is basically your "referee" and keeps things on-track. It will cost you less in sessions if you take advantage of the guidance and get right to the heart of the matters at hand. I am pretty straight-forward speaking....

 

[mtblujeans]

I told my husband that I would go into it wholeheartedly. I want things to work with us. I love him more than even I knew. I can't imagine my life without him. There is just one major problem that we need help with. He said that he loves me and that he is in no way even thinking about divorce, but I know that if we don't take care of this now, it will eventually lead to that. I have been crying for the past 2 days, can't stop. I hope that this works. But, I almost feel funny now about our marriage, almost like we are doomed.

You are just feeling confused....ignore that feeling....don't give it any consideration! Do what you know you must and things will get back to a "comfort zone" again! Don't let confusion make decisions for you!!

 

[jedi_librarian]

Anyone have any input? Husband approached me with this last night, saying that we have some problems we need to resolve and he wants to go to marriage counseling. I just want to know if this has actually every helped anyone.

I haven't been, but I could tell you one thing - the fact that he wants to go and that he approached you with it should tell you a lot. I think it's great that he wants to fix a problem before it gets worse and that he initiated it. Believe me, not all husbands want to go to MC. I just discovered my husband's affair a couple of months ago he's refused MC, which I'm not surprised. And it's not because he doesn't care about our marriage, we're working really hard to fix it without the counseling.

I've done research on MC and I've found that it doesn't work for everyone. But you as a couple will know when you're meeting with the counselor if going to him/her is going to work or not. Afterall, you know each other best.

My therapist recommended a great book that DH and I have been reading together called "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Gottman. It's a marriage saver. I highly recommend - with or without marriage counseling