I apologize, the conversation may have moved on, but I cannot.
Mustard- put it on anything, especially burgers, dogs, brats. Acceptable on fries
Ketchup- acceptable on burger, dog, and fries, but only Whataburger ketchup, OR if said ketchup is mixed with Tabasco
Mayo- you can put it on a turkey and swiss. That's about it. Belongs nowhere NEAR a burger. If you don't want to dip fries in ketchup or mustard, go get a Frosty and use that