Mandatory after school functions - Can they even do that??

[AnOtHeRdIsNeYfReAk]

​

I need some advice concerning my niece's school (a public school). Alana has been in chorus for the past several years and this is the first year with the new chorus teacher. This new teacher has made a new rule stating "all concerts are mandatory" unless the student has a valid reason.

​

Now since my sister lost her battle with leukemia my parents and I have been raising her two girls. My dad was recently diagnosed with a very aggressive form of lung cancer and because of that my niece missed two concerts. The first one was because my dad developed neuropathy and could not walk without a great deal of assistance - requiring someone to be with him at all times. Since I work evenings and was unable to get the day off we were stuck. My mom couldn't leave him and I couldn't leave work. We contacted her teacher and guidance counselor letting them know the situation, and they didn't have a problem.

​

The second concert was missed because my dad was in the hospital and we were told he may not make it through. Quite honestly, we were in no condition to be worrying about a concert when we could have lost him. Today it seems like he is only biding his time as the cancer has spread to his liver, pancreas, and brain. Again we contacted her teacher letting her know the seriousness of the situation, and even told her if Alana could do anything extra for credit she would. We didn't hear anything back from her so we assumed everything was ok, as her test scores and class participation have always been good.

​

Well, on Friday as this teacher was giving out grades she yelled at Alana (in front of class) saying she failed because concerts are mandatory and she should have found a way to get to them if we could not give her a ride. -Mind you that Alana is 12. It’s not like we would have let her get a ride with a stranger, walk 8 miles, or take a taxi alone. It’s just my mom and I, and honestly this teacher really is making a hard situation for Alana even worse. Also this is not an extra activity.- The kids have to choose chorus, band, a sport, ect... I really feel if their grades are dependent on after school activities then the school should provide busing.

​

Alana was told by her guidance counselor she could write a letter appealing the grade, but after her teacher humiliated her with this outburst she doesn't feel comfortable going back to class. There are only three more weeks of class, and I'm unsure of what to do, other than giving that chorus teacher a piece of my mind.

​

So I really need some advice. What would you do?

 

[mommasita]

That is awful. I am so sorry

My son is also 12, and next week they do have the "mandantory" music concert. However, I am almost sure that there are exceptions to every rule, and this should be one.

I would not accept that. The poor girl, in front of everyone I would march down to the school, and get this fixed..Good luck.

 

[MrsPete]

So I really need some advice. What would you do?

First, the answer is yes; in a class like this the teacher CAN require that students attend a concert (or similar). The teacher works with all her "voices" during class, and she can't afford to have only half of them show up for a concert -- it'd ruin the presentation and be unfair to the other students. I hope that the mandatory concerts were mentioned when students were signing up for this elective.

HOWEVER, the situation your family's in is quite severe, and it's hard to believe that the teacher isn't more compassionate about these circumstances. It could be that she's been lied to a good bit lately and she doesn't believe you (you wouldn't believe how often parents lie to us teachers about all sorts of things), so you might want to be prepared to prove that these things are going on. Or it might be that she's brand-new and simply hasn't grasped the idea that life sometimes interfers with doing what you otherwise would be quite pleased to do.

I'd suggest that you make an appointment with the teacher immediately and talk to her face to face. Hear the teacher's side of the story too; often kids say they've been "yelled at", when the reality is that no voices were raised -- the kid just was told something that she didn't want to hear. If this doesn't do any good, make an appointment with one of the principals.

 

[Mom2Evie]

My husband is a band director and concerts/performances are mandatory here as well.... unless you have a valid excuse. You have to make that a requirement or too many people don't show up ALL the time. Suddenly the instrumentation you've worked so hard on is SHOT when 10 kids couldn't make it because they had a hang nail or their favorite show was on.

It seems to me like you DO have valid excuses. On each occassion, were you able to let the chorus teacher know before the concert that she would miss? That's been a big factor for DH when he's excused someone. Of course, there are also occassions, emergencies, where you can't let them know ahead of time.
It seems to me that this teacher is being unreasonable. You shoud first talk to her/him about the grade. If that doesn't work, go to guidance or the administration. This should be easily rectified. Best of luck.

 

[horseshowmom]

Quite honestly, you contacted the teacher in both cases (with the first beforehand, with the second instance afterward due to the emergency situation). Your circumstances justify her being excused, and she chose not to accept that. I would meet with the principal (since you've already gone to the counselor who only suggested that you write a letter of appeal), explain the situation, and politely but firmly tell him/her how disappointed you are in how this child is being treated (this child who has already lost her mother and is now losing her grandfather).

I am a school administrator, and this is inexcusable.

 

[suzannews]

My DD, also 12, is in chorus and has mandatory rehersals and concerts during the year. Her teacher is great though and if you have a valid excuse ahead of time, you are able to make up the grade by writing a paper. My Mom passed away in December 2 days before the Christmas concert and my DD would have been excused if need be but DD wanted to go so we did.

Sorry to hear about your Dad's illness. God bless you and your Mom for taking in your sisters kids and dealing with all the illness.

 

[DevilDuckie]

Talk to the teacher directly. If that doesn't go well, then involve the administration. It is possible that there has been a miscommunication. You say you "contacted" the teacher but "didn't hear anything back." Is it possible that an email or voicemail has gone astray?

 

[Planogirl]

I would be at the school ASAP. I'd meet with the teacher and like others have said, I'd see the principal if the teacher was uncooperative. I'm all for kids following rules but this is ridiculous.

I'm so sorry about your Dad.

 

[jimmiej]

Middle school band director here.

In my band handbook, signed by parents, it states:

All performances are mandatory & students will be given a grade, per Texas Education Agency rules-it's considered an extension of the classroom. Absences are excused for the following reasons: Illness of the student or family emergency.

The TEKS (Texas Essential Knowledge & Skills) that we are required to teach include live performances.

It's impossible to have a viable performing arts program if the student's attendance is optional. Things happen & we know that. That's why we make allowances for certain things.

ETA: I include all performance dates in my handbook prior to parent signing at the beginning of the school year. If something changes, I try to let them know ASAP.

 

[barkley]

i am so sorry for your circumstances.

that said-'yes' a teacher can make performances mandatory/factor into the grade. i took 8 years of choir (5th-12th grade) and all 3 directors i had made performances mandatory as a part of our grade. it was'nt so bad when i was in elementary school-i lived within blocks of the school so there was always a neighbor or someone i could catch a ride with, but in jr/sr high we were bussed about 40 minutes away so unless there was someone else who was taking choir (and the specific choir you were in-there were 4 with different performance scheduals) that you could catch a ride with it was a major committment on the family's part.

my highschool director did'nt like that the school had a policy that permitted anything other than the student's dr. verified illness/injury as a basis for missing a performance so he found a loop hole to still penalize those who missed. in the course sylabus it was stated that 3/4 of our grade was based on our final exam and that our final would consist each sememster of successfuly performing at all performances, missing just one would result in a failing grade. so even if a kid was there for every rehearsal and gave it their all-if for some reason they had to miss one performance, at best they would end up with a 'd'.

i would appeal in your circumstances because it sounds as though the child meets the criteria for being excused.

 

[mselly13]

Quite honestly, you contacted the teacher in both cases (with the first beforehand, with the second instance afterward due to the emergency situation). Your circumstances justify her being excused, and she chose not to accept that. I would meet with the principal (since you've already gone to the counselor who only suggested that you write a letter of appeal), explain the situation, and politely but firmly tell him/her how disappointed you are in how this child is being treated (this child who has already lost her mother and is now losing her grandfather).

I am a school administrator, and this is inexcusable.

I think this is the best advice. Totally agree.

Also wanted to add that our middle school choir teacher not only requires attendance but also video tapes the performance and critiques(sp) it in class the next day. The person video taping(ususally his wife) knows to get close ups. He can then sometimes see who is actually singing and who is just standing there or who is lip syncing. It's all part of the grade.

 

[slytherinbratz]

When I was in High School about oh... over ten years ago. Concerts were always mandatory and part of the grade. The only exceptions given were at the Christmas Concerts. Students with religious differences could work on an extra credit assignment in exchange for having to miss the show. They still had to attend class and rehearsals during class but were not required to attend the show. Talk to them about possibly putting out extra credit for those who can't make it and grade them on class participation at school. I would also talk to the principal if you haven't already. That teacher had no right to yell at your daughter in front of the class. Your daughter should not be embarrassed or anything. The teacher should be ashamed.

 

[talulabelle]

The second instance seems it should definately be excused. But it sounds to me like you used up your "slack" on the first performance. While I understand that it was a hardship on you to get your neice to the performance, something could have probably been worked out. With enough advance notice, perhaps her teacher would have been willing to drive her? Surely she has at least one friend in the class whose parents could have been asked for a favor? While it is harder planning on your part, and a difficult situation for you... your daughter still has school requirements that can't all be blown off. To you, the choral performance may not seem as important as the other school resposibilities, but it is is still an educational requirement that should be taken seriously. With a sick father, and raising your sisters kids, all responsibilities are going to be harder for you, but they are still responsibilities. In order for your neice to be successful in school, you need to build a network of people at the school that can aid in a situation like this.

Sounds like the teacher was understanding the first time around, but now feels that you are taking advantage by missing a second. While I agree that your neice should have been at her grandfathers bedside during the second concert....I can see where a teacher would be upset if proper notice was not given. Especially if notice was not given twice.

As for the teacher publicly humiiating her, that is just WRONG. I would be at the principals office TOMORROW about that. I would also be in there personally trying to smooth this out for your neice. Children need a voice to be their advocate through school. With everything your mother has on her, sounds like you need to be that voice.

 

[Tinijocaro]

I'm an elementary orchestra teacher who has the same concert policy. I do use reason though. the only thing I ask the kids, is if they know they can't make it, to let me know in advance and I can try to work out a ride for them. It usually works out.

One girl didn't attend our first concert because her family owns a chinese restaurant and dad can't just leave in the middle of it all. For the next concert, I planned ahead and found someone who would drive her.

If I were you, I'd try to get her a ride for future concerts. I would call the teacher personally and tell her how badly Alana felt, and ask if there is some way she can help her grade.

​

I need some advice concerning my niece's school (a public school). Alana has been in chorus for the past several years and this is the first year with the new chorus teacher. This new teacher has made a new rule stating "all concerts are mandatory" unless the student has a valid reason.

​

Now since my sister lost her battle with leukemia my parents and I have been raising her two girls. My dad was recently diagnosed with a very aggressive form of lung cancer and because of that my niece missed two concerts. The first one was because my dad developed neuropathy and could not walk without a great deal of assistance - requiring someone to be with him at all times. Since I work evenings and was unable to get the day off we were stuck. My mom couldn't leave him and I couldn't leave work. We contacted her teacher and guidance counselor letting them know the situation, and they didn't have a problem.

​

The second concert was missed because my dad was in the hospital and we were told he may not make it through. Quite honestly, we were in no condition to be worrying about a concert when we could have lost him. Today it seems like he is only biding his time as the cancer has spread to his liver, pancreas, and brain. Again we contacted her teacher letting her know the seriousness of the situation, and even told her if Alana could do anything extra for credit she would. We didn't hear anything back from her so we assumed everything was ok, as her test scores and class participation have always been good.

​

Well, on Friday as this teacher was giving out grades she yelled at Alana (in front of class) saying she failed because concerts are mandatory and she should have found a way to get to them if we could not give her a ride. -Mind you that Alana is 12. It’s not like we would have let her get a ride with a stranger, walk 8 miles, or take a taxi alone. It’s just my mom and I, and honestly this teacher really is making a hard situation for Alana even worse. Also this is not an extra activity.- The kids have to choose chorus, band, a sport, ect... I really feel if their grades are dependent on after school activities then the school should provide busing.

​

Alana was told by her guidance counselor she could write a letter appealing the grade, but after her teacher humiliated her with this outburst she doesn't feel comfortable going back to class. There are only three more weeks of class, and I'm unsure of what to do, other than giving that chorus teacher a piece of my mind.

​

So I really need some advice. What would you do?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

She should be going to class and you should be meeting with the principal. These are valid reasons for missing. However it does sound like you don't understand the committment of being in concert.

To answer your questions about concert policy, this is pretty much standard. Includes band as well.

 

[barkley]

dd was asked by the highschool choir director to join next year despite not going to that school for another year. when dh mentioned it to me i was saying that we could'nt commit until we knew the concert schedual because grades or not if she could'nt make them she was'nt going to participate. dh just gave me a vacant look like he'd never heard of concerts in his life. i asked him if he did'nt remember getting a concert schedual from when he was in band in highschool-he responded 'nope, i was in marching band so we just went by weather there was a football game or not'

 

[TomLovesBecky]

​

I need some advice concerning my niece's school (a public school). Alana has been in chorus for the past several years and this is the first year with the new chorus teacher. This new teacher has made a new rule stating "all concerts are mandatory" unless the student has a valid reason.

​

Now since my sister lost her battle with leukemia my parents and I have been raising her two girls. My dad was recently diagnosed with a very aggressive form of lung cancer and because of that my niece missed two concerts. The first one was because my dad developed neuropathy and could not walk without a great deal of assistance - requiring someone to be with him at all times. Since I work evenings and was unable to get the day off we were stuck. My mom couldn't leave him and I couldn't leave work. We contacted her teacher and guidance counselor letting them know the situation, and they didn't have a problem.

​

The second concert was missed because my dad was in the hospital and we were told he may not make it through. Quite honestly, we were in no condition to be worrying about a concert when we could have lost him. Today it seems like he is only biding his time as the cancer has spread to his liver, pancreas, and brain. Again we contacted her teacher letting her know the seriousness of the situation, and even told her if Alana could do anything extra for credit she would. We didn't hear anything back from her so we assumed everything was ok, as her test scores and class participation have always been good.

​

Well, on Friday as this teacher was giving out grades she yelled at Alana (in front of class) saying she failed because concerts are mandatory and she should have found a way to get to them if we could not give her a ride. -Mind you that Alana is 12. It’s not like we would have let her get a ride with a stranger, walk 8 miles, or take a taxi alone. It’s just my mom and I, and honestly this teacher really is making a hard situation for Alana even worse. Also this is not an extra activity.- The kids have to choose chorus, band, a sport, ect... I really feel if their grades are dependent on after school activities then the school should provide busing.

​

Alana was told by her guidance counselor she could write a letter appealing the grade, but after her teacher humiliated her with this outburst she doesn't feel comfortable going back to class. There are only three more weeks of class, and I'm unsure of what to do, other than giving that chorus teacher a piece of my mind.

​

So I really need some advice. What would you do?

OMG that is disgusting, I would call the school and tell them you don't appreciate having your niece yelled at for having a dying family member, especially since she's already lost her mother, poor thing. That teacher should be ashamed of herself, but for some reason I'll bet she's not.

 

[MELSMICE]

She should be going to class and you should be meeting with the principal. These are valid reasons for missing. However it does sound like you don't understand the committment of being in concert.

To answer your questions about concert policy, this is pretty much standard. Includes band as well.

I agree that you should be meeting with an administrator about this.

I don't agree with the OP not understanding the commitment of being in concert. While it is important to the chorus director, she should honestly take a step back & think about what this family is going through. The last thing on their minds is getting the child to a concert when a family member is terminally ill & emergencies arise.

I'm not saying they couldn't try to make other arrangements, but sometimes more important things in life get in the way of a chorus concert.

There should be a make-up policy of some sort for situations like this. Write a paper, a one-on-one concert with the teacher.................I'm sure there are other things the student could do.

ETA - I'm not bashing you personally, I just happened to quote you because it was a shorter post than some others!

 

[Tinkerbelle'sMOM]

I'm sorry about your family

Yes, they can make the concerts mandatory, it is usually part of their grade. Not showing up at a concert is an automatic F for my kids band/choir. That being said, I'd talk to the director myself, not saying that DN is lying, but could it have been blown out of proportion? I have found most musical directors to be more laid back than most teachers. I can see her being upset that DN didn't attend any concerts. Did you ever have a face to face conference with her and explain the situation and why she may not be able to make it to the concerts? There is a committment that is made when you sign up for these things, but if there are certain circumstances (ie illness, etc) and they know about it ahead of time, then they can make exceptions, etc.

I'd call and set up and appointment with the teacher, then go from there. I hope it works out.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I
I don't agree with the OP not understanding the commitment of being in concert. While it is important to the chorus director, she should honestly take a step back & think about what this family is going through. The last thing on their minds is getting the child to a concert when a family member is terminally ill & emergencies arise.

ETA - I'm not bashing you personally, I just happened to quote you because it was a shorter post than some others!

No, her title clearly states it. She needs to understand that indeed the teacher can fail the student (legally we will say) and that it is up to her to fix it. Not that it is not understandable, KWIM?

I am just impressing the seriousness of the girl's grades. She should seek help ASAP!