Man Reads Instructions - Can the end of the world be near?

[bsbkmacgowan]

Okay, I have to admit...I actually read some instructions today and Sandy didn't even have to tell me to do so.

Okay so here was the scoop (no, no, not that one...) We have a non-XP compliant fax modem, and someone needs to send us a fax in the next couple of days. No matter how much cursing, swearing, sweet-talking, threats (idle or other) that I directed towards this modem, it would not install under XP. So I went out to Best Buy and bought a new fax modem.

So there I am at Best Buy; I have two modems in my hand, one is a major brand name the other is not. The non-brand name box is heavier and seems to offer more bundled software. The brand name box is lighter and offers less (but adequate) bundled software. There is no price difference between the two. So what do I do? Yup you guessed it, the non-brand name box goes back on the shelf, because hey, ya gotta trust the brand name, because well... they are a brand name.

I get the box home, yank out the non-XP compliant modem (have I ever mentioned that all of my desktop computers live in a perpetual state of having their guts strewn all over the place? I do not know when the last time they have had their side panels in place. Until I installed this modem, for a couple of weeks or so I had an 80GB hard drive dangling from its data and power cables. I suspect that Sandy would prefer that at least the main desktop computer not live its life in such a disrupted state.) So anyways, I put in the new modem, fire up the system and pray that plug and play doesn't mash the life out of XP. Up comes XP and sure enough it recognises the modem, but only as a generic modem. Okay that maybe, sorta, kinda was to be expected. Although what's the use of Plug and Play if ya can't play after plugging?

So, I stick in the install disk, follow all of the suggested suggestions that XP suggests and voila, ... it's still a generic modem. Hmmm, what to do, what to do, what to do????

Well after thinking about this for a long time, I remembered someone once telling me that there were such things called instructions. A quick look in the dictionary indicates that instructions can actually tell you useful things like how to install plug and play peripherials. Well that sounded too good to be true. If this was true, that these things called instructions actually do work, well that would make my job a whole lot easier. But that would be like manna from heaven.

Anyways, I search in the box that the modem can in; besides spare parts (like a RJ11 phone cable) all I found was a piece of paper with some writing on it. Well I went out on a limb and started to actually read this piece of paper.

Well it had words on it that did look familiar; after a long time, like 4 or 5 words, I lost my train of thought. I tried it again; I got past those first words and then got bored on the next half dozen and skipped ahead. I read a few more, got bored, skipped ahead, read some more, got bored... well you get the idea. When I got down to the bottom of the page I figured that I read the instructions so now I could install the modem.

Ya know what? Reading those instructions... didn't help one bit. Well, by now I figured that the modem was defective. I contemplated yanking the modem out and installing it into our Win98SE machine, but I figured that I would give the instructions one last try. I concentrated as hard as I could and forced myself to read ever word. Hmmm, no good. Then I tried reading each word in the order that they appeared on the page and not jump all over the place. Hey! now they made sense.

It turns out that this brand name fax modem is XP-compliant but not XP certified and you can't trust XPs suggestions during installation.

Well the long and short of it, (okay, who's kidding who, I can never make it short) I was able to install the XP compliant, non certified fax modem.

Of course to test the fax capabilities of the modem I Googled for companies that have free fax-back services. It works.

Let me tell you, this was a tough experience. This is why power tools have pictures on them, pictures like "Don't stick fingers here." This way men don't have to read instructions.

Okay one last thing. Have you ever noticed that a man won't read instructions, but he will read the same cereal box over and over again as if the words might have magically changed from the previous day?

Brian

 

[Raulandpinboy]

Brian never ever let me hear you complain about Microsoft again you Blasphemer.

Do the chant it will be okay

Bill is great Bill is good, Microsoft rules the universe. Linux is for losers.

Of course me I just went out and bought a fax machine

There are those that want to turn their computer into more than what are meant to be... They will someday realize that when they go to Best Buy to get the coffee pot attachment which is PCI slot compliant they have gone to far, but by them they will have a combination

Computer which is a fax, a telephone, an answering machine, a camera, a TV, a coffee pot, it makes bagels, plays music, a jukebox, a paint canvas, a word processor, an orange juicer holds the household tax and financial information, internet surf tool, and that’s just three of the 45 slots available, will realize that one chip failure will lave them in the dark with nothing.

But its okay just keep adding stuff you’ll see.

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

SO I have search the Net and there are no PCI compliant coffee pots. But then again that's not surprising, the power requirements would be greater than what a standard PC could deliver.

With its peer-to-peer communications capabilities firewire would do well here. Although wireless would be cleaner and easier to install across larger distances; you might need wireless repeaters or boosters in a large office environment or an area with thicker concrete walls.

Regardless, you could have the coffee pot talk to its other java dispensing buddies to see what level they are at and what type of Joe they are carrying. When one runs out of coffee, it can query the others and make an appropriate decision of what type of coffee to brew. Connected to an adequate PC a date/time analysis could be run to determine the most appropriate coffee type and amount to brew based off of recent trends. You could also schedule the coffee pots to ensure that there is an adequate amount of coffee available for a meeting or social function.

With a few more gadgets you could pre-order your coffee via a web interface with the right amount of blend/milk/sugar/whitener etc. The cups could then be equiped with programmable LEDs to display the name of their destined java consumer.

I can see this being applied on a smaller scale at home user level as well.

I suppose the obvious programming language here would be java.

Okay, not on the same level as above, but here is a site that tells you how to control your coffee pot from a PC using wireless technology http://www.rentron.com/PC-Remote1.htm . It's a starting point.

I wonder if Sandy would let me do this?

Brian

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

Looks like I have absolutely no control over Brian when he's out on a customer call... y'know, we went ahead and got that air card so he could keep up-to-date with the hopper calls (while out in Little Red)... I just didn't realize that I would be creating a monster by it allowing him unsupervised access to this forum!

Well, mea culpas to all...

Sandy (and Bonnie & Kellie, but not Brian at the moment, 'cause he's out wreaking havoc on the board... hopefully not while
driving Little Red... or he's got some serious 'splainin' to do!




okay, okay... I'll put him in, too...

The weird thing is, he knows that I don't drink coffee... I just never could get used to the stuff...

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

Yeah, the lack of coffee drinking is a stumbling block. I don't drink enough coffee at home to make this convenient. So I just gotta think of something else to automate. If we used a hot air popcorn popper, I could do that. But alas, we make our popcorn on the stove. Toast is not good, as you have to put it down twice. There has to be something that I can do this to.

Hmmm, maybe something for the girls. I can make the fans in their bedrooms come on automatically? Hey they would like that!

Hey Sandy, how's about automating the blend for Marguerites? (make that margaritas, hon - skm) Granted we would have to put the ingredients in by hand and it's a no-brainer to push the button while you're there. But I'm a man and logic has nothing to do with this.

By the way, nope I'm not driving Little Red while posting. The first post was from the parking lot of Tim Horton's Donuts and this one from the parking lot of the bank.

One last thing, Sandy, I'm on my way home.

Brian

 

[bsbkmacgowan]

...but not as pathetic as we have been in the past.

Brian and I have been known to each log into AOL's Instant Messenger and chat with each other... one of us here at our "main" computer (set up in the dining room corner of our living room/dining room combination room here in our apartment) and the other one using the laptop in our bedroom. Most of the time, it's after the girls have gone to bed, and since their bedroom is situated between our bedroom and the dining room, well, rather than call out and take a chance on waking up our little Sleeping Beauties, it's just a lot easier to IM with each other.

Now, it really gets pathetic when we IM with each other when one of us is sitting at the aforementioned "main" computer and the other is sitting at Bonnie & Kellie's "little" computer (the two are in the same area of the dining room, monitors facing each other, which means when they are being used, the people "running" said computers are sitting back-to-back, literally an arm's reach apart.) Yes, it's the truth. We have been known to do just that.

Now THAT is pathetic...

Sandy (and Brian - who just walked in the door... "hi hon!", Bonnie & Kellie)

It's not how you use technology, it's how technology uses you.