Man in the bathroom

[StormyCA]

I'd be willing to bet an Indy FP that this never happened.

 

[ddwlms]

I think it's a very interesting article that brings up a potential paradox. If trans women don't feel safe in the men's restroom, than why would they (or any woman) feel safe if a "man" comes into the ladies restroom. If you let anyone go into whichever bathroom they identify with, you can't stop a "man" from going into a ladies restroom. -who are you to judge what gender they identify with, when your judgement is based on their looks. So, the allowance, which is meant to make a trans woman feel safe, is the very allowance that makes her feel unsafe. It's a weird cycle that only seems fixed by individual restrooms or everyone feeling comfortable peeing with any gender present. Just mho.

 

[Xenorye]

Mods might want to go ahead and lock this thread... probably going to devolve pretty quickly.

 

[Mousequake]

I feel for men who take their young daughters alone. It's much easier for a mother to drag her son into the woman's room than for a man to do the same. Women's rooms are pretty private with the stalls and unless you're actually peeping into the stall there isn't much you'll see. But with urinals in the men's rooms it's much less private. Of course they could take their daughter into a companion restroom, but at some point in time the dad is going to have to go too. It make's me think of Three Men and a Little Lady where they blindfolded her.

I appreciate the concern, but from vast personal experience, I can tell you that it's really not a big deal for a dad to take his young daughter into a men's restroom. I've been a SAHD for ten years now, and have visited literally hundreds (if not thousands) of men's rooms with my daughter, and done many solo trips to Disneyland with her. She has never once seen anything she's 'not supposed to see.' Men don't want anyone to see their stuff any more than anyone else does; nobody's going to see any body parts at a urinal. And if the dad needs to go too-- just take the daughter into a stall with you, just like a woman would take a young son into a stall. In my experience, nobody gives a second glance to a dad taking a daughter into the bathroom.

 

[CateinPhoenix]

I think it's interesting that she's been driving a lot of traffic to her blog because of this story.

 

[wilkeliza]

I think it's interesting that she's been driving a lot of traffic to her blog because of this story.

Seems to be a trend. Goes hand in hand with those "my kids were almost kidnapped/human trafficking victims even though they were actually always completely safe or I did something that was bad parenting but don't want to admit that" articles that keep going around

 

[SMD]

Seems to be a trend. Goes hand in hand with those "my kids were almost kidnapped/human trafficking victims even though they were actually always completely safe or I did something that was bad parenting but don't want to admit that" articles that keep going around

My personal favorite are the open letters. "To the man who..." said or looked at me in a way that I'm going to claim is judgement of the thing I'd like to be compensated for writing about.

 

[bumbershoot]

Situations like this could totally go away if we just stopped with gendered bathrooms. It is becoming more common where I am and it is actually nice. When there are just rows and rows of bathrooms anyone can use them the lines usually go faster. Instead of 12 stalls for women that are always full and 12 stalls for men that are almost never full you get 24 that anyone can use. I guess the only issue some guys have is that it usually gets rid of urinals which are quicker for them but that's a minor inconvenience. The real only extra step is having to close a door.

My first (and so far only) experience with those was while visiting friends at UC Berkeley in the late 80s. The first time I went in it was scary. And then it was fine. The stall doors went both lower and higher so even basketball players couldn't look in and peeking under wasn't possible unless someone were to lie on the floor. They also had showers since it was a dorm bathroom, and I have never felt more safe and secure in a shower. Double locking doors, slick tile that was nearly to the ceiling. Fabulous bathrooms.

I think it's a very interesting article that brings up a potential paradox. If trans women don't feel safe in the men's restroom, than why would they (or any woman) feel safe if a "man" comes into the ladies restroom. If you let anyone go into whichever bathroom they identify with, you can't stop a "man" from going into a ladies restroom. -who are you to judge what gender they identify with, when your judgement is based on their looks. So, the allowance, which is meant to make a trans woman feel safe, is the very allowance that makes her feel unsafe. It's a weird cycle that only seems fixed by individual restrooms or everyone feeling comfortable peeing with any gender present. Just mho.

Most trans people dress/look like the sex they identify with. Picture Chaz Bono. He doesn't look like Chastity did (except in the eyes with their adorable twinkle). He shouldn't have to visit the women's room because if he walked in he would scare some women like in this blog. It's not just about trans women. It's about everyone being safer and more comfortable because you don't get these moments.

Right now at the Y I know there's an employee who is transitioning (because someone mentioned it in passing) but I didn't know who it was. The other week I noticed someone very man-like with a woman's name on his tag. Sometimes the employees forget their tags but they have to wear one so they'll borrow another person's. I figured that's what was going on. (And it's actually a name that used to be used for boys, like Leslie, but spelled very cutesie with an extra e or two) but now I realize that that's the employee's name. I'm guessing he is the employee, and I hope he's allowed to use the men's room. Because if "Lesleee" goes into the women's room it'll feel like this blog post.

My personal favorite are the open letters. "To the man who..." said or looked at me in a way that I'm going to claim is judgement of the thing I'd like to be compensated for writing about.

And don't ever talk to the person about it right then or maybe admit that you might have misinterpreted.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

No need to lock this thread. Everyone has been respectful. I am going to move it to the Community Board, though.

 

[ClaraOswald]

She sounds like she was hallucinating. Personally, I wouldn't use any restroom that had 1" gaps between the doors. Where is that restroom? I have never seen it. Again, I'd never use a restroom like that when I know there are many others in the park that don't have 1" gaps.

I've walked into the men's restroom by mistake before. Maybe he did that. Maybe he lost a kid. Who really cares? She was in there with 2 boys. She could have used a companion bathroom. I used a companion bathroom by myself 2 days ago because I didn't want to wait in line for the regular bathroom. I guess she didn't have anything else exciting to write about.

It's been a few years...but I recall the bathrooms by City Hall having huge gaps. I remember looking up once and seeing a child's eye through there looking right at me. Scared the bejeebus out of me!