Mama Bear?

Wow. I really thought my hair would be on fire now. I can't believe I found so many sensible moms all in one place! However, I also expect the real "Mama Bears" don't recognize themselves as such because they really do see a teacher giving their cub a zero as a life threatening situation. :-). (We have no power here, BTW so I'm on my blackberry and can't use smilies.)
 
For me it's a negative connotation. Mama Bears are grizzlies. They bare their teeth and claws and attack with wrath and venom to anything or anyone they perceive to be a threat to their offspring whether they are right or wrong.
 

This is what I think about I hear "Mama Bear".
When my oldest DD was born at 16 weeks early at 1 pound I was an emotional wreck not knowing if she was going to live or die.
They put me in a semi-private room and if that was not bad enough, the lady next to me had her perfectly healthy full term baby with her. The lady's entire family was there celebrating (as they should have been) and eating extremely pungent food.
I was trying to keep my sadness to myself but just lost it. My Mom went into attack mode and demanded they find me a private room RIGHT THEN! Fortunately they realized the situation and moved me... to the Presidential Suite. It wa shuge, gorgeous and private.
My DH is not an "attack" kind of guy.
Every time I see Terms of Endearment and Debra Wenger's mom (Shirley McLaine) whne her daughters medicine is due and she demands (slightly in freak out mode) it reminds me of my Mom.
Ironically my Mom never would have been considered a "Mama Bear" growing up. She expected us to fight our own battles.


You and I obviously have the same feelings about it.

I personally refuse to change my original definition just b/c some other people have horned in on it. Don't know why anyone else would change their definition, either...
 
When I think of the term Mama Bear, it take as when a mother feels her child is truly in danger and will do whatever it takes to protect him/her.

This is my thoughts on it. I very seldom go into this mode unless absolutely necessary. I think the last time I did was in the ER with a "doctor" telling me there was nothing really wrong with my son. I explained nicely that his behavior was not normal and something needed to be done. The chick never returned. I got to speak to the head doctor that night and guess what?? He came up with an answer for the issue of the moment. Nick was dehydrated and his blood volume was low. Had I not stood my ground with the first doctor we would have not seen the second doctor. I think I may have ticked her off but this was my child that she said nothing was wrong with!! He had already been battling some unknown virus so she just wanted to say that was all it was. My mama bear mode is what got me through with doctors the whole time Nick was sick. If I hadn't pushed I don't know where Nick would be today. His classmates mom has been very timid and he is not getting better. At least Nick is finally feeling better!
With school issues he is encouraged to solve issues on his own. I have only gone in to the mode a couple times with school. Once was when he was in 2nd grade and had a run in with his 1st grade teacher. She hadn't thought she would have to deal with me that day. She thought she would get my mom and nothing would be said. Little did she realize I would show up at the school and she would be reprimended for what she did! I had to do it last year with a teacher that thinks she is the school discipline officer. Unfortunately I found that no school personell stands up to her not even the principal! What the teacher did was uncalled for and unprofessional. Not to mention she lied about the what had happened to make it look like she was in the right. (There were witness's to what happened. Nick was not totally innocent, but the teacher totally lied about it!)
So, when he needs help and he can't solve the issue we talk about it. If someone is truely doing something that hurts him uncalled for or he is sick/injured it is possible I will be a mama bear!
I don't see it in a negative light, I see it as protecting my young when he is unable to protect himself. (Not because he gets a bad grade or a deserved consequence.)
 
They are the parents who call around town talking about the terrible things another teacher/child has done to their special snowflake everytime the child claims he/she has been wronged. They then ignore the issue once it is discovered that snowflake was 90% of the original problem.

Same parent who says the teacher is wrong or a poor teacher every time the kid gets a bad grade. Admit it, snowflake may not be the genius you think he/she is.

I disagree with a pp concerning children with LD's. Given limited resources parents need to fight hard to get their children the help they need. IMHO children with medical conditions or LDs need an advocate even if she acts a little irrational at times.

We let our kids fall hard and work problems out with a little guidance. That said, I truly regret not being a Mama Bear when DS turned 1. I knew in my heart both doctors were wrong, he was not ok. Two days later he ended up in intensive care after being ambulanced to a specialized children's hospital. Never again will I back down when my child's health or safety is in question.
 
I think of Mama Bear as being a temporary state of mind while helicopter parent applies more to the constant state of being over-protective. Many of us might fly off the handle occasionally when things seem wrong but we then tend to calm down and try to act sensibly.
 
I think about this issue often, since I used to do a lot of babysitting and would watch how parents act. A happy medium would be great - not overboard but not uninvolved either.

Sadly my parents were as far from "Mama/Papa Bear" as you can get. I jokingly refer to them as social darwinists. They gave birth to me and my siblings, and that was it! We were on our own after that. They always stayed distant and uninvoled with daily matters. I was teased and bullied for years at school, and my parents never once helped - never! My problem. Any issues at school or with homework - they would NEVER talk to the teacher! I needed to try harder, period. Just the way things were - parents never got involved. Even with college and picking careers - they were never supportive or unsupportive - just neutral and strangely uninvolved. Always on our own to figure things out.

When I read these threads about parents who come to protect their children from every little thing, I just can't relate at all. :confused3 Just blows my mind that parents would go to such lengths for their kids. But a part of me is jeaous too - I wish my mom or dad did make some effort to help me, but they never did.

Guess that happy medium would be the thing to strive for!
 
Rarely have I had to go "mama bear" on anyone. Only when no other option had worked. I think kids do need to learn to take care of alot of day to day things for themselves but on rare occasions, we as parents, need to step in.
 
You and I obviously have the same feelings about it.

I personally refuse to change my original definition just b/c some other people have horned in on it. Don't know why anyone else would change their definition, either...

Nobody asked you to change your position!:rolleyes2
 
Maybe this type of mother could create a new show.

After "brides from hell" maybe Grizzly Mommy's in the neighborhood could become a success :rotfl2:
 
When I think "Momma Bear" I don't think of these Moms that fly into a rage ready to have the teacher,principal and schoolboard up in arms because little Johnny got a B instead of an A and oh what a blow to his ego. I don't think of the Moms that go into their teenager's part time job to rip the manager a new one because the manager had the audacity to make little Susie work instead of letting her off "just one more time" so she could go be with friends.

I think of Momma Bears as those Moms that TRULY get it. When a child falls literally or emotionally,they are there to guide them and show them the way. They are there to help but not hinder. In the most severe and truly dangerous of situations,they will fight tooth and nail to ensure the safety of their child. They will give their children the tools they need to make it on their own. That is what "Momma Bears" are to me!
 
A whole thread devoted to nothing but smack talk about how others choose to parent. It reminds me of a bunch of junior high school girls picking on the odd girl out.
 
The example I think of when I think of the phrase, used in the way I think of it, was my mom in a particular situation.

When I was 4, I brightly decided to hang from my knees from our front year geodesic dome. It was a small one, but I was wearing a dress and tights, and I slipped. Landed smack dab on top of my head.

When she took me to the doctor's and it was recommended I stay overnight at the hospital, that was fine.

However, in 1973/4, the staff thought that a 4 year old would be totally fine by his/herself, and REFUSED to let my mom stay. She knew me, and knew that I would NOT be OK alone. She went mama bear to the nurses and doctor, though I think she called herself a tigress actually, and got very special permission to stay with me.

.

I've read some very interesting, anti-medical posts from you on this board. This one, i simply do not believe. I do not believe that any hospital would refuse a parent to stay overnight in a hospital.
Sounds like something she saw on a Soap Opera.:sad2:
 
I don't like the term and whenever someone refers to themselves in that manner I always have negative connotations pop into my mind. They wouldn't use the term if they knew what they were saying about themselves in a lot of people's minds.
 
A whole thread devoted to nothing but smack talk about how others choose to parent. It reminds me of a bunch of junior high school girls picking on the odd girl out.
. Not really unless some people agree that complete overreaction on a regular basis is a positive parenting style. Most posters seem to believe that parents should advocate for their child when necessary but agree that the term "mama bear" has rather negative conotations.
 


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