Making Plans w/Bad Family News

[BarbaraMB]

We just recently made reservations for July (room only, 5 day cancellation). Just found out that FIL has stage IV lung cancer, we don't know any details as of yet. I had already got the kids pumped up (as well as myself) about our trip to Disney. Has anyone ever had been in a similar situation? Would it be fine to just wait and see since I have up until 5 days before to get my deposit back. How long in advance do you usually buy your park passes? I am sure that I will know what to do as we learn more. Would it be best not to talk about Disney anymore to the children just incase we do have to cancel? Anticipation is part of the joy but I don't want to pump them up and then cancel. Don't mean to bring gloom to the boards but interested in opinions.

 

[beansmom]

I would wait...if you are still able to go, then you can buy passes at WDW if necessary.

 

[BarbaraMB]

Would you recommend NOT talking about vacation to the kids until it is a DEFINITE about going? They are so excited already about going and want to talk about it. They know the situation. I just wonder if anyone else has been in the same situation and what did they do.

 

[lizzie64]

I guess it depends on their ages. Do they understand what's going on with your FIL? Maybe you might need to explain gently that Disney, may have to wait. If they already know about the trip, it will be hard not talking about it. I know my DS4 talks about our next trip all the time.


I think you have to wait and find out more about his condition. Maybe you and the kids might need some levity and a break by July.

I'll have you in my prayers.

Good luck.

 

[CamColt]

I would(and did) wait, and it worked out ok in the end.
Last summer, a month to the date before we were supposed to leave, FIL was given 1 month. He wasnt sick at all when we booked this trip 3 months earlier. We would have cancelled except my mother was coming along with my neices and we didnt really want to bail out on them. Unfortuantely, he did pass away exactly 2 weeks before we left, but it was for the best. And we went on the trip and still had fun.
I do agree with not pumping up the kids anymore though. That was part of what was so upsetting to me. Not only was I disappointed at the possibility of cancelling, but I had gotten the kids so psyched I would have felt awful to cancel on them.
Good luck! Prayers & Pixie Dust to your FIL!!!!

 

[vbfamily]

We had a similar situation a couple of years ago. We had a trip to Florida planned, to get married, and my brother found out he had colon cancer. It didn't look real bad until a few months before we were due to leave-had deposits made and everything. We had no idea what to do.

We left everything in place and because as you mentioned, you have up until 5 days before to get your money back.

Well, he passed away 2 days before we were supposed to leave.
We had some indication of what was going to happen and were very confused. He grabbed my hand-he could barely still speak-and said "Promise me you'll go".

We did go. In a way, it was very healthy for our children. They had been through a lot watching him go through what he went through-he wanted them to have time just to be kids.

Our kids were 4 and 2 at the time and we thought they had no idea what was going on but then our 4 yr old started to ask questions and we tried to answer them truthfully.

I can't tell you what's best for your kids. All I can say is be strong, leave your plans in place for now and concentrate on getting your FIL's needs fulfilled.

You can always assess the situation periodically and decide what is best for you and your FIL at that particular time.


I wouldn't stop talking about Disney. It makes kids happy. They'll understand if for some reason you have to cancel.

Did your FIL have plans to go with you on this trip?

Sorry for the long post.

Good luck

 

[DisneyFreaks]

We were in a similar situation in 1995. Just weeks before we were suppose to leave my MIL who has heart disease had another heart attack and went back into the hospital. We had purchased packages and were already past the forty five day cancellation time. They released her before we left and the prognosis wasn't good but my DH's family urged us to go anyway. We gave them all of the important phone numbers and even told the resort check in desk that we might be getting an emergency phone call. We called home every other day as well. Thankfully nothing bad happened and although we were apprehensive and nervous we did have a nice family vacation. I would wait until the very last minute to actually cancel your trip unless something happens. And make sure they have all numbers to reach you. As for the children, explain to them about their grandfather and that you won't be cancelling your trip just postponing it for a while if you have to. Your FIL will be remembered in my prayers.

 

[OhMickey]

I've never been in this situation, but why don't you call and ask Disney their policy. Explain the uncertainty of the situation and maybe they have a policy specifically for family emergencies.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[vbfamily]

OhMickey is right.

I forgot to mention that I spoke with Disney when we had reservations during my brother's illness and they noted that on the reservation and I was assured that if anything did happen and we had to cancel within the 5 days, it would be no problem.

 

[crusoe2]

We had a trip planned last summer and my DS had already gotten really excited about it when we found out that we were expecting a new baby. We decided to go ahead with the trip even though I would probably be having morning sickness - we really did not want to disappoint our son and we knew that with a new baby coming we would not be able to go back for awhile. Unfortunately, I developed complications and nearly had a miscarriage right before the trip. We ended up having to cancel the day before we were supposed to leave. Our son was a really good sport about it but I felt terrible about him being disappointed again. (The trip was supposed to make up for having to leave early the previous Oct. when our son got sick.)

Anyway, having experienced that, I would still plan to go but would avoid getting the kids too excited or at least prepare them for the possibility of a last minute cancellation.

Good luck and prayers for your FIL.

 

[safetymom]

I would be honest with your kids. Tell them your Disney plans may change because of their grandfather. It will still give them something to think about and it will help you discuss what is going on with their grandpa. After my husband died the first trip I took was to WDW. It is a great place to forget all your troubles and my small kids at that time had something fun to do.

Let your kids offer some ideas and you might be surprised to see what they are thinking about the trip. They might want to stay close to the family.

 

[CaliforniaDreaming]

We had a somewhat similar experience last year. A few months before our trip, my grandmother became very very ill. She was in and out of the hospital (she actually was in there for two months strait), and we weren't sure how long she'd have. I talked to a supervisor at CRO, and they said that in the event we'd have to cancel they would allow us to cancel or reschedule without penalty. We did not have to cancel, but my grandmother did pass away a month later.

 

[PamNC]

I'm sorry to hear about your FIL.

I would take the honesty route like safety mom suggested. I'd keep the ressie because like you said you can cancel up to 5 days prior.

This isn't the exact same thing - but last year we went with a "family member" being not well. The family member in this case is a horse. We have horses that are part of our family (as well as dogs, cats, chickens). Anyway, about 5 days before our trip last year our mare was seriously injured. The vet encouraged me to go on my trip because we had a caretaker staying with her. I did - and all I did was think about her and worry about her. If I had to do over again I would have waited until she healed completely. Which took, by the way, about 3 months. I think if I had a sick family member again be it human or animal I would take my time and really think about going on a trip. But, then again, like another poster said WDW can certainly lift your spirits and make you forget your troubles.

Peace be with you and your family!

pamNC

 

[PhillyDisnynut]

Hi, We are in the same situation. We have been planning our first trip together, just my husband and myself, son is now 18. and off to college , we are planning in august. My MIL was diagnosed almost a year ago. she has been thru hell and back . She is a fighter. Trying to hold on until her two oldest grandkids, one being my son, graduate from high school in june. Things have gotten worse . we have our room, but nothing else so i would wait as long as you can. If you buy passes they will be good forever. if you can't use them now, and hey they only go up in price every year. The airfare is the only part that is a tough call.
So just think positive.!!
God Bless , you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

PhillyDisneynut, even the airfare can be re-scheduled.

We found this out the hard way. Similar experiences as many of you had and the day before we were to leave, we had to cancel.
Our tickets were listed as "non-refundable" but with just a phone call and a small fee ($50 per ticket) we were able to re-ticket for an upcoming trip.

My thoughts are with you all. Such tough decisions and to have to make them at times we're feeling so sad, ugh!

Disney can be a wonderful place to get away from traumatic events, so I always hesitate to cancel. It MIGHT be just what the doctor ordered.

 

[Muffy]

We had a similar situation this past Oct. We were planning a 2 week vacation to WDW for Jan 2003 when we found out my MIL had 6 mos to live. She has stage 4 liver/bile duck cancer and is 87 y/o with Althimzer (sp). We were positive that we could not make our trip! Well, to make a long story short, we did make the trip and my MIL is still alive. We already had our passes and airline tix's by Oct. We just took one day at a time. Our 12 y/o DD new that the trip was iffy. My MIL seems to be holding on but then again, it will not be 6 mos. until April. The whole time we were at WDW we dreaded a call from home..... Sending pixie dust.

 

[HauntedMansionGeek]

A curious question for those who DO go on a Disney vacation.......

if your loved one did pass away while you were gone, would you have flown home or stay right where you are and not try to hurry home?

We've got a the possible situation with an upcoming trip in April and I don't think we could even AFFORD to fly home, if something does happen.


What thoughts have y'all given to this stuff?

 

[BarbaraMB]

I do appreciate everyone's suggestions, opinions and prayers. I will just do what I have to and wait and see. I would think that as it got closer to the "cancellation date" we would be able to have a best guess on if we should take the trip or not. Life happens and we will just deal with it. I know that I would not go down there if I thought for a moment that I might be called home.

 

[safetymom]

It would depend on who died and when I would be coming home anyway. If it was the next day I would just fly home at the regular time.

I have always lived my life telling those I loved how I felt so it wouldn't be that I had to rush back to tell them how I feel. We have had a policy in our large family that the funeral is for the living. So if family members could make it back that was great, if they couldn't it was understood.

When my husband died at the early age of 47 very suddenly I was in such a state of shock I didn't notice who wasn't there. If someone mentioned someone was missing I understood.

It just all depends on the situation. Keep in mind the airlines doesn't discount the fare very much so that would be a consideration.

Do what your heart tells you to do.

 

[DebbieB]

In March 1996, my mom and I had our long planned second trip to WDW. She started developing strange symptoms and the doctor recommended she not go. We canceled the day before. They were nice enough to refund our room deposit even though it was past the deadline. Turned out she had breast cancer (she knew she had a lump and didn't say anything). Seven years later she is still fighting. We plan trips not knowing if we will end up going or not but have not missed one since. We have OKW reservations for Mother's Day week in May but are waiting for scan results next week so I haven't bought plane tickets yet. The pickings are getting slim for seats, so I have to make a decision next week. It's more complicated with DVC, you have to cancel 31 days or more to get your points restored. Otherwise they go into "holding" which can only be reserved 60 days before arrival.