Maintainer's Thread--anybody else interested??

[Rose&Mike]

Just thought I'd throw this out there. I've been participating on the BL thread since January and I really love it. I've lost 42 pounds and I've moved to maintenance. But I'm nervous. I've lost the weight before, and while this time I really feel like I've made the lifestyle changes necessary to keep it off, it's still a little scary at times.

So just wondering if anyone else is interested in a maintenance support thread? I'm still planning on fully participating in the BL thread, but would love to be able to chat with some other maintainers.

 

[pjlla]

Hey... if I EVER make it the maintenance level, I will SO be joining you here! Hopefully this BL challenge will be the magic one! I can't wait to finally hit my goal and STAY THERE!

BTW, thanks again for the race report. Since I have never run a real race, I am so curious what they are like....and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!.......P

 

[Rose&Mike]

Thanks Pamela!

Still hoping there are some other maintainers out there.

 

[corinnak]

Hi Rose and Pamela!

Rose - You KNOW I am interested in a Maintainer's Thread, even though I'm officially in "Loser" mode again for at least a couple of weeks here after my "challenging" summer. I'm ready to support maintaining and talk maintaining until I'm actually there again myself.

Here's what I've got so far: Maintenance is hard, and I have spent my share of time feeling nervous about gaining the weight back. However, having actually regained about 5 from my ideal weight (back to my original goal weight), I have realized that even if things get away from me for a bit, I do have the power and the skills to stop it and get back to where I want to be.

Thanks for starting the thread!

Pamela - I'm rooting for this to be your "Magic" challenge - remind me of how close you are again?

 

[pjlla]

Hi Rose and Pamela!

Rose - You KNOW I am interested in a Maintainer's Thread, even though I'm officially in "Loser" mode again for at least a couple of weeks here after my "challenging" summer. I'm ready to support maintaining and talk maintaining until I'm actually there again myself.

Here's what I've got so far: Maintenance is hard, and I have spent my share of time feeling nervous about gaining the weight back. However, having actually regained about 5 from my ideal weight (back to my original goal weight), I have realized that even if things get away from me for a bit, I do have the power and the skills to stop it and get back to where I want to be.

Thanks for starting the thread!

Pamela - I'm rooting for this to be your "Magic" challenge - remind me of how close you are again?

Well... for about the last year my goal has been 130.... I was as close as 130.4 a few times since early May. Unfortunately, my summer vacation gains are still with me and I was at 134.9 this week.... plus I have lowered my goal to 128... so it is within reach.... but I can't seem to quite get there!!

There are days where I remind myself that I am NOT overweight at 134/135 and if I choose to maintain there, it wouldn't be so bad, but I am still hoping to hit the 128... gives me some wiggle room. .............P

 

[corinnak]

Well... for about the last year my goal has been 130.... I was as close as 130.4 a few times since early May. Unfortunately, my summer vacation gains are still with me and I was at 134.9 this week.... plus I have lowered my goal to 128... so it is within reach.... but I can't seem to quite get there!!

There are days where I remind myself that I am NOT overweight at 134/135 and if I choose to maintain there, it wouldn't be so bad, but I am still hoping to hit the 128... gives me some wiggle room. .............P

Oh yeah, it's all come back to me now! I tell you, the thing that kept me from setting my goal below 130 was that I'd lose another point a day - kind of a silly reason, but once you're in the healthy range, what else can you base it on except where you think you'll look and feel the best? I don't know.

It sounds like we had about the same sort of summer. My head spins at how quickly it went back on.

 

[Rose&Mike]

Hi Corrinna!

My hang up is coming from the numbers themselves. I have done every calculation I could find, and I know I'm at an ok weight for my height and frame--but I still feel like I should set the number lower. Who wants to say that after all that work they are still in the 140s? And logically I know it's just a number, but it's driving me a little bananas. Which is part of the reason I went to maintain in the first place--I was obsessing way too much about the numbers. So I'm maintaining at 146. And I was at the low end of the +or- 2 on Friday, so what did I do? I ate horribly this weekend. Probably the worst weekend I have had this entire year. It's like I'm trying to sabotage myself.

And the thing is, I feel pretty good at this weight (except today--I feel gross from all the garbage I ate). I feel very healthy, and more importantly, I feel like it will not be too hard to maintain here. But then sometimes I think it would be so much easier mentally to stay a loser. I would not then be questioning whether I've done enough.

It helps me to hear you say it's hard. This weekend has been quite the wakeup call for me. Time to get back on track. I'm going to stick with 146 for now and see how it goes. If I keep drifiting down, I won't be heartbroken. I think I'm going to also move to 5 small meals a day. My blood sugar feels like it's all over the place lately.

I hope the 5 pounds comes off quick.

Pamela--what did you use to pick your goal?

 

[corinnak]

Rose- I know what you mean about the numbers - I don't know how we have an idea of what is a desirable weight and what is not. I remember back to when I was just starting out and I couldn't even imagine getting into a healthy weight range again. It seemed at the same time like both aiming pretty low and a pie-in-the-sky fantasy.

From the perspective of maintaining comfortably, and feeling good in your body, it sounds like you've found a good weight for yourself. As far as the actual numbers, well, they are all relative. If you used a scale in France, you'd weigh 66.4 kilos. If you used a scale in England, you'd be 10.4 stone. Do those numbers make you feel anything? For me, they are less emotionally charged units of measure, because I didn't grow up with those numbers. It's easier to look at them as just a number, right?


I know what you mean about it being easier to stay a loser. One of the things I've struggled with during the months that I was at my chosen weight was that I have so strongly identified myself as someone who is unhappy with her weight, someone who wants to lose weight, is losing weight or should be losing weight, that when I decided I did not want to lose any weight, it was like losing part of my personality, a major area of interest and focus. That did sort of settle down over time, though.

The other hard thing about being at or near goal: When I was unhappy with my weight, I could dream about how much better my body/appearance/life would be when I got to go, and I could take heart from the fact that I was working on it. At goal, there was this slightly disappointing realization of "Well, this is as good as it gets." You'd think I'd just enjoy being where I spent all that time wishing I could get to, but there was this underlying continued dissatisfaction with certain aspects of my appearance. Given that I have to work almost as hard to maintain as I do to lose, not having hope of continued improvement....makes it even more challenging to keep focused and stay on track. I am still working on "this is my body and it is not perfect but that is OK" as an outlook.

I hope more regular meals helps your blood sugar situation. I sometimes have challenges with that as well, not from a medical perspective, necessarily, but from a cranky, crabby perspective.

The 5 pounds is now down to about 3.5 pounds. I'll get there - probably a few more weeks to go.

You wrote:

It helps me to hear you say it's hard.

You know, I think there is this expectation that losing is the hard part, but there are so many things that go along with losing that make it a different kind of hard from maintaining. The things about losing that are easier are:

1. It's for a finite period of time. Even if you have 200 lbs to lose, at some point, there is an end to it. Maintenance continues without a definite finish line.

2. There is a payoff around every corner: when the scale goes down, when clothes are too big, when you get a compliment or see yourself looking amazingly improved.

3. There are so many people on the same journey who are interested in talking about it and supporting each other through it - For maintaining, either people aren't getting to their goal, aren't sticking around after they get to it or have so few problems maintaining that they don't feel a need for support.


Well, you can tell I've given all this a little bit of thought, and I am really glad to have a designated place to discuss some of these issues!

Hope you feel better from the weekend food soon, Rose!

 

[pjlla]

Oh yeah, it's all come back to me now! I tell you, the thing that kept me from setting my goal below 130 was that I'd lose another point a day - kind of a silly reason, but once you're in the healthy range, what else can you base it on except where you think you'll look and feel the best? I don't know.

It sounds like we had about the same sort of summer. My head spins at how quickly it went back on.

Soooooo quickly... I'm sure that I gained MORE weight on vacation than anyone else that was there....yet I tried SO HARD! My body just WANTS to get fat again (and no, that isn't just my insecurities talking... there is some science behind that).

Since I'm doing WW on my own and have NEVER made it this low while attending meetings, I didn't realize I'd lose ANOTHER point.... I thought that 18 points was the minimum for an adult. Goes to show what I know..

Hi Corrinna!

My hang up is coming from the numbers themselves. I have done every calculation I could find, and I know I'm at an ok weight for my height and frame--but I still feel like I should set the number lower. Who wants to say that after all that work they are still in the 140s? And logically I know it's just a number, but it's driving me a little bananas. Which is part of the reason I went to maintain in the first place--I was obsessing way too much about the numbers. So I'm maintaining at 146. And I was at the low end of the +or- 2 on Friday, so what did I do? I ate horribly this weekend. Probably the worst weekend I have had this entire year. It's like I'm trying to sabotage myself.

It helps me to hear you say it's hard. This weekend has been quite the wakeup call for me. Time to get back on track. I'm going to stick with 146 for now and see how it goes. If I keep drifiting down, I won't be heartbroken. I think I'm going to also move to 5 small meals a day. My blood sugar feels like it's all over the place lately.

Pamela--what did you use to pick your goal?

NO SHAME in maintaining in the 140's! Especially whenyou are tall and strong! How tall are you?? Many women I know would KILL to be in the 140's!!!

My goal was a bit arbitrary.... no real science behind it. My original goal was 145. I weighed 138-ish when I got married and I couldn't even IMAGINE getting to that weight again. I figured I'd be more than happy to even get into the 140's.

Before I got there I decided to lower my goal to 135. It honestly seemed to be a pipe-dream. And when I started approaching it, I was thrilled... but still didn't like the looks of my midsection. So I decided to lower my goal AGAIN to 130. And as I got closer to that, I thought that 128 sounded like a good idea.... since I've NEVER seen a 2 in the "tens" place in my entire adult life (well, it must have been there at some point in my teens as I ZOOMED past it ).

But I know, despite how I THINK my body looks, that 128 is the absolute LOWEST I should really attempt. (Before this all sounds a bit like a person with an eating disorder, keep in mind that I am not particularly tall at 5" 4.5" and I have a small frame... my fingers overlap by almost a half-inch when wrapped around my wrist). I believe that the WW chart shows a person of my height and age should be between 120 and 150. So I am not dropping below their range with my goal.

From the perspective of maintaining comfortably, and feeling good in your body, it sounds like you've found a good weight for yourself. As far as the actual numbers, well, they are all relative. If you used a scale in France, you'd weigh 66.4 kilos. If you used a scale in England, you'd be 10.4 stone. Do those numbers make you feel anything? For me, they are less emotionally charged units of measure, because I didn't grow up with those numbers. It's easier to look at them as just a number, right?


I know what you mean about it being easier to stay a loser. One of the things I've struggled with during the months that I was at my chosen weight was that I have so strongly identified myself as someone who is unhappy with her weight, someone who wants to lose weight, is losing weight or should be losing weight, that when I decided I did not want to lose any weight, it was like losing part of my personality, a major area of interest and focus. That did sort of settle down over time, though.

The other hard thing about being at or near goal: When I was unhappy with my weight, I could dream about how much better my body/appearance/life would be when I got to go, and I could take heart from the fact that I was working on it. At goal, there was this slightly disappointing realization of "Well, this is as good as it gets." You'd think I'd just enjoy being where I spent all that time wishing I could get to, but there was this underlying continued dissatisfaction with certain aspects of my appearance. Given that I have to work almost as hard to maintain as I do to lose, not having hope of continued improvement....makes it even more challenging to keep focused and stay on track. I am still working on "this is my body and it is not perfect but that is OK" as an outlook.

You know, I think there is this expectation that losing is the hard part, but there are so many things that go along with losing that make it a different kind of hard from maintaining. The things about losing that are easier are:

1. It's for a finite period of time. Even if you have 200 lbs to lose, at some point, there is an end to it. Maintenance continues without a definite finish line.

2. There is a payoff around every corner: when the scale goes down, when clothes are too big, when you get a compliment or see yourself looking amazingly improved.

3. There are so many people on the same journey who are interested in talking about it and supporting each other through it - For maintaining, either people aren't getting to their goal, aren't sticking around after they get to it or have so few problems maintaining that they don't feel a need for support.


Well, you can tell I've given all this a little bit of thought, and I am really glad to have a designated place to discuss some of these issues!

Hope you feel better from the weekend food soon, Rose!

Oh Wise One! How do you know what I am thinking/feeling? Could it be you've felt this way yourself? Nice to know we are not alone on this strange endless journey ..........................P

 

[corinnak]

Soooooo quickly... I'm sure that I gained MORE weight on vacation than anyone else that was there....yet I tried SO HARD! My body just WANTS to get fat again (and no, that isn't just my insecurities talking... there is some science behind that).

Since I'm doing WW on my own and have NEVER made it this low while attending meetings, I didn't realize I'd lose ANOTHER point.... I thought that 18 points was the minimum for an adult. Goes to show what I know..

Well, I think that's still true. On the page with the quiz, they say that if your total is less than 18, then your daily points target is 18. I am currently at 19, so if I were to go down to 129, I'd lose a point. Of course next November, I'll be going down a point regardless because I'll enter a new age bracket.

NO SHAME in maintaining in the 140's! Especially when you are tall and strong! How tall are you?? Many women I know would KILL to be in the 140's!!!

Agreed - in all the stuff I said about your weight in my previous post, I can't believe I forgot to say this. 140's is a great zone to be in, especially judging from the pictures I've seen of you!

Oh Wise One! How do you know what I am thinking/feeling? Could it be you've felt this way yourself? Nice to know we are not alone on this strange endless journey ..........................P

I'm thinking we're all in the same boat.

 

[Rose&Mike]

Ok, still haven't given up the idea of a maintainer's thread yet.

This has been an interesting week for me. I've been maintaining for about a month now. I'm starting to feel more comfortable with it and I'm not worried every Friday when I step on the scale. But emotionally some stuff has been popping up.

We went to see DS at college last weekend and had a nice trip. But it has turned into a week of reflection for me, which has been a little hard. I started thinking about where I was a year ago. I think what I am realizing is (and maybe I already knew this) that my weight is so tied to where I am at emotionally. Which sounds so simple--I am an emotional eater. Ok, but I feel like it's more than that. And that's what I'm trying to figure out. If I feel so cruddy about myself when I am overweight, why when I am unhappy about something else do I choose to do the thing that is going to make me feel worse.

So I guess what I need to work on is figuring out what I am going to do when curveballs start coming at me. I think just the idea of holding myself accountable to the +or- 2 is a real necessity. I think it will hopefully keep me from letting things get away. And I know I have made changes from last year (new job, lots of exercise, better food choices) but I think I still need to figure out why I was so unhappy in the first place.

Ok, so that's where I'm at. It's a process right? I really want this to be the time that it sticks. So that means thinking about some of this stuff.

 

[corinnak]

Here we are! It is a maintainer's thread!!!

Yes, absolutely, it is a process. And the process doesn't end when we get to our goal weight, obviously. We still carry with us all the stuff that got us to our highest weight...well, not literally, but figuratively.

I think what I am realizing is (and maybe I already knew this) that my weight is so tied to where I am at emotionally. Which sounds so simple--I am an emotional eater. Ok, but I feel like it's more than that. And that's what I'm trying to figure out. If I feel so cruddy about myself when I am overweight, why when I am unhappy about something else do I choose to do the thing that is going to make me feel worse.

It all seems very contradictory, doesn't it? Like there's some latent self-destructive quality in there. I have thought about this some too - if I'm depressed and being bigger, I get more depressed, why would I eat and worsen the whole situation, right? And the conclusion I came to (for what it is worth) is that it's not that there is some part of me that wanted myself to be fat (well, there maybe was but that is another post) but rather that when I felt bad, I wanted to feel better and food did that for part of me, part of my brain, at least for a few seconds. Of course, then I felt worse for having eaten the food, but that brief rush of "good" was fresh in my memory, so I'd repeat ad nauseam. Literally. Many of the foods we overeat do have a profound impact on our brain - our "trigger foods" often light up the same areas of our brains as are impacted by heroin. Reading the book "The End of Overeating" by David Kessler really helped me to see that I was dealing with this brain chemistry situation, not just my "weakness" or "personal failings."


I feel more like a "maintainer" than I have in a while, since I managed to sneak into my "maintenance" range at my WW weigh in today. It's a little higher than the range I use on the BL challenge. I am finally feeling like I'm on the right track - I've kept my hands out of the cereal box (and chocolate chips) the past few days, at least, and have been drinking more herbal tea. It's a relief, I tell you.

 

[Rose&Mike]

And the conclusion I came to (for what it is worth) is that it's not that there is some part of me that wanted myself to be fat (well, there maybe was but that is another post) but rather that when I felt bad, I wanted to feel better and food did that for part of me, part of my brain, at least for a few seconds. Of course, then I felt worse for having eaten the food, but that brief rush of "good" was fresh in my memory, so I'd repeat ad nauseam. Literally. Many of the foods we overeat do have a profound impact on our brain - our "trigger foods" often light up the same areas of our brains as are impacted by heroin. Reading the book "The End of Overeating" by David Kessler really helped me to see that I was dealing with this brain chemistry situation, not just my "weakness" or "personal failings."


I feel more like a "maintainer" than I have in a while, since I managed to sneak into my "maintenance" range at my WW weigh in today. It's a little higher than the range I use on the BL challenge. I am finally feeling like I'm on the right track - I've kept my hands out of the cereal box (and chocolate chips) the past few days, at least, and have been drinking more herbal tea. It's a relief, I tell you.

I think part of me did want to be fat--the part that assumes that I am going to mess up, not be successful, basically fail. The problem with weight, is that there is no right or wrong, no definitive. And I like to put things in boxes--I like definitives. And I am 100 percent responsible for it. Which is another interesting thing to think about.

I'm going to see if I can get that book at the library. I truly believe that one of the keys to success this time is giving up diet sodas. I craved sugar and carbs horribly when I drank diet soda. A daily binge was pretty common.

Yea for getting back to maintenance range!! I am at the low end of my maintain, and if we weren't going to Disney, I would bump my weight down a pound or two I think, but hoping I just come back from the trip still in the range.

 

[Rose&Mike]

I bumped my maintain weight down 2 pounds this week on the BL thread. My DH asked why I didn't just go back to being on the losing team, and I told him in my head, I am not unhappy with this weight, and maintaining here would not be a bad thing. But I think I have a few more pounds that I could lose--which if nothing else should improve my running. So we'll see how it goes at this weight. I also think I would put a lot of unneccessary pressure on myself if I set a new loss goal. The idea is to be healthy right? And I don't think I'm unhealthy right now. I think that sooner or later the scale is going to stop going down--and that it will be pretty obvious where my lowest maintain weight should be.

I have also been thinking a lot this week, about weight loss and how it relates to other things in life. That's still floating around in my head, so that might be a topic for another day.

Corinna--I think I saw that you made the BL list this week! Congratulations!

 

[corinnak]

Hi Rose!
Thanks for noticing me on the BL list for last week! I had a good loss, and then I had a wedding, so I think I'm breaking even this week. I am just right on that upper edge of my "maintenance range" which to me feels like I'm still over where I want to be. Not that it's so bad here. It's really OK, but I have to admit I do feel a little bit unimpressed with myself that 1. it is taking so long to get back down to my favorite weight again and 2. I don't care all that much. I feel like my body is not going to be the way I ideally want it to back at that number either, so it feels kind of like a lot of work for no good reason. I also feel like it's maybe more comfortable/safe on some level for me to maintain at a level where I'm not entirely happy with where I am or how I look.

I do think you're right that the idea is to be healthy and to choose a weight that you're able to maintain without too much difficulty. It is so hard to know where the right spot is. I look at people around me or read blogs/posts of people who are at a lower number or have a lower goal,I wonder if maybe I'd be better if I were smaller too. But then that starts to sound a little crazy, right?

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on how weight loss relates to other aspects of life!

 

[Rose&Mike]

I really get the "feels like a lot of work for no good reason." But I feel like I'm on the weight loss train and I'm too afraid to get off--if that makes sense. More about that in a minute.

This afternoon a friend asked me to do something and I thought I said no multiple times and somehow I ended up doing it anyhow. I know everyone knows what I'm talking about with that whole inability to say no thing. Anyhow, that's an issue in inself, but where did my thinking go right away--food. Frustation=food. Uggh. Am I ever going to be over that? I feel good because I recognized it, and thank goodness there was no junk in the house. Will there ever come a day when I don't link emotions up with food. And as for how I handled the whole thing, when I decided I was going to do it, I needed to just let it go and not be aggravated. It was definitely not worth elevated blood pressure. It's all a learning process I guess.

Yesterday I was talking to Mike because this summer our house and yard are kind of a mess, and said--what happened? I feel like we got so into this fitness and running thing, and now everything else is gone by the wayside, but is it messy because it's not important to us anymore, or messy because we (I) am have replaced my food addiction with the exercise/diet addiction? And back to the beginning thoughts--maybe I am stuck with a belly because I'm 43 and didn't take care of myself for over a decade, and this is the consequence. And no amount of dieting/working out is going to matter. So it all comes back to maintaining and deciding what is good enough. And can I ever get off the train (because this really is just my lifestyle now) or am I going to have to be vigilant from now on.

Too much thinking lately, I think.

I'm glad you are almost back to your maintain Corinna.

 

[LuvDisney3]

I am so happy to have found this thread.....I have been in maintenance mode for about 6 months now and it can be very difficult at times.

On December 22, 2008, the place where I was employed informed the employees that it was closing due to the financial crisis. For the next year and a half, the employees worked themselves out of a job. For the first 6 months of this, I partially managed the stress of the situation through eating, and put on a few pounds. In the summer of 2009, a few of the employees decided to start a weight management program following the Weight Watchers plan. This changed my life for the better. When I started on this program I weighed close to 160lbs... fast forward to today....I am settled into a new job, am still maintaining my weight loss and am down to 118 - 120lbs. I am a whole new person!!! But each day I have to be conscious of what I am eating. I try to make sure I bring enough of the "right" food with me to work, so I am not going out to eat and drink lots of water. Just recently I joined a gym and started excercising on my lunch hour and excerising at home with my husband.

I wore a bikini this summer for the first time and did not feel self conscious at all. We are going to Disney World again this Christmas and I am hoping to have my body more toned with all of the excercising I have now incorporated to my plan.

It is going to be great to post on this thread when I am having a bad day and to get the support I need to make it through. Or to help support others when needed.

Thanks again for starting the thread.

 

[corinnak]

LuvDisney3!!! It's great to have another maintainer on the thread! So great that you've found something that works for you. Anything you would like to share about your experience with maintaining would be great - how cool to get to wear a bikini!

Rose, I know I have also been afraid to get off the weight loss train - the weight loss train is comfortable and feels so like you're on the right track. You have a goal and you're moving toward it and it feels so hopeful and fun, and there is a camaradrie with all the other people who are also on the weight loss train - it feels kind of like a big party with a bunch of friends. You look at the platform when you feel like you're ready to hop off, and darn it, there's pretty much nothing happening there! Everyone's either gone home or gotten back on the train, I guess. I have felt like I spent all this time and effort trying to get to my goal and when I got there, well, it's like I was expecting Disneyland and when I got there, it was just...Gary, Indiana or something. No offense to Gary, Indiana, but it's no Disneyland, you know? I think I need to spend more time remembering what it was like where I've come from - where I used to be. Cause here's the fact - Gary Indiana is actually vastly preferable to Siberia in a snowstorm!!!


Regarding our respective mid-sections, I think you may be right about that - I had a pregnancy in which I got really big really fast, did not take good care of myself for a long time, and I'm just not going to be able to change that. Funny story from the other day - my 7 year old saw my tummy at one point and said "Mama! You have a LOT of scars!!! Like a thousand!!!" And I said "Yeah. I know. Do you think I should have a surgery to take most of them away" and he said "No way! Why would you do that???" I had forgotten that he thinks scars are the coolest thing ever. It's all so subjective!

So it all comes back to maintaining and deciding what is good enough. And can I ever get off the train (because this really is just my lifestyle now) or am I going to have to be vigilant from now on.

Here is what I remember from losing weight before my wedding and keeping it off a couple of years until I got pregnant with my first child: It's possible to get used to how much you can eat and not have to track every morsel. I got into trouble when I got pregnant and thought "well, I'm supposed to gain some weight now, and so I don't have to pass up that Culver's ice cream sundae." Just for instance. I don't think we ever get to be completely carefree if we want to maintain our weight, BUT I think that's actually normal. Most people of normal weight make some food sacrifices for the sake of continuing to fit into their clothes, I believe.

I hear ya on the house/yard situation. There are only so many hours in the day, after all! I'm not sure what the solution is. It sure seems like it's hard to balance everything. I do think that the fitness thing can be addictive as well - there are worse things to be addicted to obviously, but the problem I see with having an addiction to something is when it interferes with the rest of your life - either damaging your health, relationships, finances or ability to see to your responsibilities.

Here's what's bee bothering me the past few days: I started this journey because I was dissatisfied enough with myself to make some hard changes to what I was doing. I thought I was doing it to get to a place where I'd feel satisfied with myself. When I started, I JUST wanted to get into the healthy weight range. Then once I got there, I wanted to get down to where I had been comfortable maintaining after college. Then I wanted to get down to where I had been through most of high school. I wanted to fit into ever-smaller pants. I'd look at clothes and say "Yeah, it doesn't fit me now, but give me another month and it will" Well, now if something doesn't fit, I probably can't MAKE it fit. If I'm not a faster runner, I can't blame that on my weight. If I'm still "soft," I'm not sure I have what it takes to take it to the next level. It is hard when I see others around me surpassing me, as well. I'm a little too competitive/jealous sometimes.

 

[Rose&Mike]

Welcome LuvDisney3!!!!!! Glad to have you join us. Glad that you are settled in a new job. I have to work really hard to not eat out too much--and I have to work really hard to not make bad choices when I eat out!

I don't think I shared this earlier, but I'm in my 40s, an empty nester (ds is a sophomore in college). I've lost 45 pounds. I'm at a good place, but wouldn't mind losing a few more. I am choosing to look at it as maintaining rather than losing, because I would be ok if I didn't lose anymore, and I was starting to get just a little too obsessive--a few too many ana thoughts. I run with my DH and most of the time love to workout.

Corinna--you gave me a lot to think about, and I'm going to comment tomorrow, but just wanted to jump in and say you nailed it on the head with Gary, Indiana. Mike and I were both laughing. When I made goal it was so anti-climatic. Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled. But I literally found myself thinking--where is the confetti, why aren't there any fireworks.

Anyhow, I'm pooped tonight. I will jump on tomorrow for some comments.

 

[LuvDisney3]

I totally understand about that empty feeling when reaching a goal. I didn't really have a goal when I started out. The smallest I had ever been, going as far back as high school, was a size 10 (I am now almost 35), so I had no idea where I was going with the weight loss. I started off hoping to loose 10lbs, which happened fairly quickly, so I kept going. It took me 4 months to loose about 35lbs and then about another 6 months to loose another 5lbs. I got down as low as 115lbs and decided that I needed to start eating a little bit more as I did not want to get to the scary skinny point. So, I maintain my weight at around 120lbs. Sometimes it is a couple of pounds more and sometimes it is a couple of pounds less, which is fine by me.

It is weird how even though I know I have lost all of this weight, I don't see that person when I look in the mirror. I don't see the old me either, I guess I see someone who is not finished. I put on my size 2 pants in the morning and I know in my mind that I am no longer overweight, but I guess it is really difficult to swith the mindset when it has only known one way for so long.

I completely understand how you feel when it comes to trying to get all of the housework done as well as keep up with the weight management and exercise. I am a little OCD when it comes to the housework, so I have had to learn to let go of some of those responsibilities and allow my sons and husband to take on some of the chores. They were always willing to do the chores, I would just end up re-doing them afterwards as their work was not up to my expectations. My sister-in-law has also made herself available for odd jobs for a fee, so I have taken advantage of this a couple of times as well. Really it is about prioritizing and figuring out what can be let go until you have a free moment and what can't. This was something I really struggled with and still do today....I was cleaning my main bathroom last night at midnight when I have to get up at 5:30am to get ready for work!!