Magical Vacation Plans turn to Stressful...

[mabenoab]

I guess this goes in the planning forums...My family has been looking forward to visiting WDW for a couple of years now. We couldn't swing it last year, so we postponed to this summer. Its been a hairy year so far for us because Mom & MIL were both diagnosed with breast cancer. Needless to say, our trip to WDW has been the light at the end of the tunnel.

I have a dear friend, close family friends whose hubby unexpectedly died nearly two years ago. Our families used to vacation together, and our kids were close, but since the death of her hubby, my friend has been clinically depressed, even hospitalized a few times. She has great difficulty functioning, and making decisions. Its been really tough for her, and we've tried to support her as best we can. If you've ever dealt with someone with severe, clinical depression, you know its rough on everyone. Tonight this friend called, and asked me if she & her two kids could join us on our WDW vacation. I"m so conflicted. I'd really rather keep this our family trip, and not have to guide & help her through the week. I also don't want to compromise our plans...I know, I'm a selfish ogre, but the idea of going with her is like a really heavy weight. How can I nicely say, we'd rather not do this together this year?

 

[rentayenta]

IMHO, your first obligation is to your family and while I know there are conflicting emotions when dealing with someone who suffers with severe depression (will I say the wrong thing? Make things worse? etc,.) I would just go with my family. It sounds as though your last few years have been stressful enough and that you are in need some well deserved magic and down time. As far as how to tell her, I would tell her the truth: that you love her but really need some quality time DH and the kids.



Now let's hear about your plans!

 

[mabenoab]

Well I talked to the dh and kids to make sure we're all on the same page and feel the same way about having our friends join us...then I called my friend and very gently told her that we really need some family time this summer, and that a joint family vacation wasn't in our plans this year. We're not opposed to going away together for a long weekend later this summer, or even trying to do WDW together next year. She took it really well, said she was stressing about the cost and being able to get time off from work anyway, so this actually gave her a reason to tell the kids no this summer. Its hard for her to say no to them.

I do love my friend, and try to help her as much as I can, but we all just need this vacation together as a family so much this summer. We're going to the Poly from July 1 -8, have ADRs at the Crystal Palace, the Hoop Dee Doo, the Prime Time Cafe, Coral Reef and House of Blues. We're totally psyched, especially me and dd12. We're really just looking forward to being in a fun, happy place all together and just enjoying each other's company. As the kids get older its getting harder and harder to get some significant time alone with them! Dh wants to go parasailing (thats what it is when you parachute up in the air behind a boat, right?) with our son, so that should be a sight! I think thats what I'm looking forward to most!!

Thanks, RentaYenta..your input helped

 

[rentayenta]

I am so glad it all worked! Your plans sound wonderful! I bet the Poly is beautiful. The para-sailing sounds really fun too. I hear you on the kids not getting any younger, they grow so fast!