Lulu201's Healthy Living Log (comments welcome!)

[DoeWDW]

Dearest Queen Lulu,

Usually I am nice. I offer these lovely comments that are warm and supportive. I don't think you've seen my other side. Please know that everything after this is typed with love.....

Well, here goes!

Erin, you are NOT ALLOWED to wallow in guilt, shame and disappointment this morning! You have come a long way. You had a long and stressful day yesterday (even good experiences cause stress!). You came home late. You had a million things on your mind for the holidays. What's to figure out??

LET IT GO!

Today is a new day. You feel yucky but you'll go back to your healthy living routines and feel better in no time.

Life is too short, girlfriend! We're gonna have those episodes. Hopefully they will become fewer and further between. It doesn't mean we've failed - it just means we're human.

Now, stop with the pity party and get on with healthy living! It's the quickest way to feeling better!

OK, enough Tough Love for one morning!

It's a new day and we're both starting fresh. Here's some extra just in case there are any more bad feelings lurking in your psyche.

Onward and downward we go, together, step by step, not perfect but still on the road to healthy living!!


Doreen

 

[DoeWDW]

YOU GOT TAGGED!!!

How cool is that??!!??

I'm not sure what the last one means though.....

Hope I wasn't too hard on you earlier....

Here's another ,
Doreen, your WISH-sis

 

[lulu201]

OH, MY GOSH! I got tagged! Thank you, oh, thank you, Tag Fairy! You sure gave me a smile!

Thanks for telling me, Doreen, or I might not have noticed it right away! Oh, and Doreen, I appreciate your "tough love" approach--I needed it. True friends can give each other the honest picture, and we are true friends, , WISHing our way to success!

Without a good night's sleep and lots of holiday stress, I'm finding it a bit difficult to find my happy, centered place--I just have to accept this mood for what it is. We've got to get to the mall this afternoon, take DD to a friend's house before her evening concert, visit a Colonial Christmas presentation at a nearby church to hear one of my student's play, grab a bite to eat, and then head to the concert. Tomorrow's promise of snow, and the peaceful afternoon that you described in your journal, Doreen, are offering me the promise of a better-paced day.
Also, called DHs mom this a.m. and she told us DHs Dad is back in the hospital; he passed out in the bathroom, and then passed out in the hallway early this morning, fell THROUGH the wall, and is now in the ER. We're waiting to here what is happening. DH and I are wondering if maybe he passed out in the tree while hunting and that caused his fall in November. Hopefully we'll find out more soon.

I'm sticking to the plan today, but pretty just taking things moment by moment.

Thanks, Doreen, and thanks Tag Fairy! You both brightened my day!

Erin

PS Doreen, I think the conspiracy theory has to do with Colonel at KFC and the General Tso at the Chinese Buffet. . .I'll have to go back and check some earlier entries to be sure.

 

[lulu201]

Later that same day. . . Back from the concert--which was very nice. DD was excited because afterwards there's a slumber party she's going to--I'll be out the door tomorrow a.m. so I can pick her up at 7! We're both singing in church tomorrow--she with the Youth Choir and I with our Contempory Service's Worship Team. We have to be dressed and ready to rehearse at 8:30. DH is playing drums at a cantata at another church. The evening is supposed to be our Festival of Carols--that is, if we don't get snowed out. It's always a special evening. Looks like it's just another musical day.

Update on DH's dad. . .they have not been able to determine the cause of the internal bleeding yet. Tomorrow they'll do a colonoscopy and see if they discover anything there. They've ruled out any head and neck injuries from his fall into the wall.

I approached today a little differently food-wise, mostly because I was still smarting from the bad choices I made last night. I counted points through lunch, and then just tried to make good choices when DH and I went out for dinner. We stopped at Quiznos and shared one of their low-fat sandwiches and each had a small diet soda. At the mall while shopping we stopped at Baskin-Robbins and had nonfat yogurt (2 points). At the reception we shared a 1" by 1 1/2" square of sour cream chocolate chip cake (that translates into one bite each) that I had brought (made by one of the ladies at our church), I had a small pretzel and a small slice of cheese. We also had some punch. I had saved lots of points for the evening, so even though I don't have an exact total, there was no mindless bingeing. . .I'm counting it as cheat-free.

I guess I over-reacted to cheating on my plan today because deep inside I feel like I'm only a binge away from losing total control and gaining back 28 lbs. in a heart beat. It's like MelanieC said as she was getting ready for WDW--she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to get back on the program if she got off it while on vacation. I've so many times--I'm not really trusting myself that this time I won't just fall apart all over again. When I indulge mindlessly like I did last night I'm afraid, I guess, that my worst fears just might come true--that I really AM a failure at losing weight and living a healthy life.

It was good to have Doreen give me a kick in the pants and jolt me out of my negative thinking patterns (can you tell I read some of Dr. Phil today? ). She made me feel stronger and more capable than I felt this morning. She helped me put things back into perspective. Thank you, Doreen, I'm blessed to have you.

A year ago, I never would have THOUGHT about trying to eat healthy during the holidays. I would've just accepted the fact that I was going to gain weight. Now, maybe I'm not being as realistic and supportive to myself as I should be. It's not always the severe either/or situation that I put myself in. Maybe I should shoot for a middle ground for a couple of days?

Geez, I'm thinking too much. It's definitely time to put a lid on this and MOVE ON.

Onward and downward--or maybe side-ways for a few days?

Q. Lulu

 

[DoeWDW]

Good snowy morning, Erin! We only have a dusting so far and the weather people are calling for a total of about 4" in our area. Your area usually escapes with less - lucky you!
Nonetheless, be careful driving today, OK?

First of all, I will keep your FIL and all of your family in my prayers. I hope they can quickly find and fix the bleeding AND figure out why he's passing out. How scary that must be for your MIL!! Sometimes I think it's tougher to be the spouse rather than the patient - you care so much and yet you feel so powerless to make things better. Do they live close to you?

Enjoy your musical day! I am a bit envious, I must admit! In school I sang and played flute. If there was a musical group, I was in it!! Watching my kids' concert the other night reminded me how much I miss all that music in my life. Maybe I should clip my fingernails and drag out my guitar and see if I actually remember how to play?? You may want to keep my family and their ears in YOUR prayers....LOL!!

I like your attitude about food. Make good choices but don't obsess! I do think we can become too rigid and have that all or nothing attitude that leads to binges when we can't be perfect. I can understand those feelings of uncertainty and worry, though!! This is such a mental thing, isn't it??? When I start becoming too rigid, I set myself up for failure. I guess that's why I've given up on the cheat-free bear for now. It was hurting me more than helping me.

Erin, you'll find your way! We are in unfamiliar territory, redefining our relationship with food. I think we just have to keep trying different attitudes until we find the one that honors us and this holy temple we've been entrusted with. It's just that we're out of our old way of relating to food and still working to find the best new way of relating to food, so we end up feeling lost and uncomfortable a LOT! My only words of wisdom....have patience, keep trying, and this too shall pass.

Enough philosophy in your journal! Onward to a day! I'm so glad we're doing this together! :happy1: I think writing all these thoughts down helps me clarify them for me as much as for you!


Doreen, your WISH-sis

 

[lulu201]

December 14. . .

It's a beautiful snowy day. We had a lovely church service this a.m.; DH was able to come since his gig at the other church was called off because of the weather. We're still waiting to hear if we're going back out tonight. If the picture outside my window right now is any indicator, we'll be staying home. The Festival of Carols is quite a big event at our church though--the adult, youth, junior, and cherub choirs along with the contemporary service's singer/band ensemble sing, the bell choirs ring, and special soloists and instrumental ensembles perform. It's always a wonderful time of great music and terrific fellowship, but if God is giving us a snow day, so be it! You know, Doreen, it may be rescheduled for 1/11. . .if you want to come over and bring your flute, I'm sure that our director could find a spot for you!

Intense PMS is putting an unwanted edge on me today. I've got to watch myself. The stress I've been feeling lately is only making things worse. I hope to drink lots of water, maybe go for a slow treadie walk, maybe grab a nap?, to lessen the tension I've been feeling. I'm going to try to focus on all the beauty of the season. . .what gets done, gets done. Like the annual Christmas newsletter--it's out the window for this year. Maybe people will enjoy an update in 2004?

OK, goals:
1. Vitamins--particularly important as TOM approaches w/a vengeance. (sp?)
2. Water--6-8 glasses.
3. Exercise--maybe.
4. Food--I have a plan mapped out, should be around 25 points.

Doreen, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts in my journal. I value your perspective and "take" on the struggles we may face on the journey. Writing in this journal helps me so much in figuring things out, and meeting you and your words here each day gives me strength to continue the walk on the healthy living road.

Think I'll go make a salad now then cuddle with an afghan and the puppy for awhile.

Erin

 

[lulu201]

12/15 OK, so I managed to cuddle with the puppy and the afghan and take a snooze, but I never did take those vitamins. Oh, well, priorities, right?

I've decided not to weigh in today. . .yesterday I had my salad as planned, but I also had three or four chocolate chip cookies! Not a problem, though, I needed to kick back and relax with everything--food included--so I decided to cut myself some major slack. Because of that, I'm ready to start a new week.

Here's the plan:
1. Vitamins--they're all set out and ready to take.
2. Water--2 glasses down, 4-6 to go.
3. Coffee--1 cup, all finished. Only green tea from here on in.
4. Points--target is a low 22; I'll add a few points from the bank as necessary.
5. Exercise--maybe. I know it would be good for me, but I have a million things to get done today. Eating right may be all that I can handle.

It was a weekend full of ups and downs. . .some of them TOM related. I'm going to wait until Thursday and just do one weigh in this week--I'll count that towards both the WISH check in and the New Year's Challenge.

This week has some serious challenges ahead. I host little class parties throughout the last week before our holiday break. Families bring in treats to share and we set up a little party/buffet table with the goodies. I'll host 11 of these events!I will literally be surrounded by yummy things all week long!
I've had varied success over the years trying to manage a healthy eating plan during this week in December. Sometimes I'll make it through the whole day and then fall apart as soon as I get in the door, other years I've just decided to eat a brownie here or there and not worry. Neither approach has had a good result. This year I hope to be armed with my water bottle and healthy snacks (fruit and veggies) to eat in between events! I'm also hoping that my Thursday weigh-in will be a good motivator.

Also, we're blessed by the kindnesses of many families in our music school. At this time of year, this kindness often is shared by food gifts like you wouldn't believe. DH and I have been thinking about ways to handle this, too, and we're going to put everything behind closed cabinet doors so that I'm not "exposed" to chocolate covered pretzels, truffles, other boxed candies, the homemade fudge, etc. Thank goodness for DH, he is so incredibly supportive.

Ooh, I just got a PM notice. . .I'm going to run and read it.

I'll post about my day later.
Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

Erin, I had no idea this week had soooo many temptations in it for you!! I'm sending extra , , , and good thoughts your way! You make a good point (I'm REALLY feeling like Goldilocks today!!) - being too rigid is tough and eating everything is not good - I hope you can find that middle ground. Maybe you should tuck some of those homemade gifts into the freezer and save them for another time of year!!

Have a wonderful day, WISH-sis Erin!

 

[lulu201]

Why didn't I think of the FREEZER?! Guess because I always wanted to eat everything! Yep, this year the fudge gets frozen.

Hectic, fun, crazy day ahead with ten zillion temptations. Plan of action: don't eat any junk at the holiday class parties, but have a teeny tiny dessert when I'm out tonight. Drink lots of water, take my vitamins, drink some more water, and write everything down.

Yesterday I did OK with the points--27/30 left in bank. I'm trying to withdraw more from the bank on a day to day basis--maybe that will help me avoid a binge? We'll see. . .

I didn't weigh in yet this week. Hoping to wait until Thursday a.m.
I can't be emotionally tied to the scale in all this chaos!

I'm off to start the day. Onward and downward!

Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

Another hectic day!!??!! Do things EVER slow down in your life, Erin??? I hope that after the holidays you get a chance to relax and recharge those batteries - I'm afraid they might be getting low! Please take extra good care of yourself today!


Doreen

 

[DoeWDW]

Good morning, Erin!

Usually you're posting first, but today I'm the Early Bird!! Hmmm, do you think worms are low-carb??

I hope you had a great day yesterday with all the festivities! I bet you were exhausted last night! I also hope you got a good night's rest - we royal types need our beauty sleep, ya know??

I also hope today goes well for you. I don't know about you but I'm knee-deep in the D-Zone, so I'll be working extra hard today to stay on track!

By the way, how's your FIL?? I hope he's feeling better and recovering nicely.

Here's some extra for you, Erin! Use it to fight off that Munchie Monster!! I'm sending him packing from my house, so he'll be looking for another victim.....


Doreen

 

[lulu201]

12/17 I made it through the worship team party without too much trouble--I allowed myself a little bit of everything and extra on the tossed salad. It was a nice evening of fellowship, but it was almost 11:30 by the time I got to bed. Who set the alarm for 5:45??????

Now I'm off to start the day. Plans are to take the vitamins, drink EXTRA water, stay within the points, and try to hold off on the coffee. That one, though, I can't really promise to stick to. I work until 8 p.m. and then have to take DD back to Kohl's, so the extra java may give me the energy I need. I'll have to detox this weekend.

FIL is still in the hospital, and has been diagnosed with an ulcer. Hopefully he'll be home later today. MIL is supposed to come and spend the night tomorrow night after attending DDs school choral concert. . .we'll see if she's comfortable leaving him.

Tomorrow will be weigh-in; the first one since last Friday. Since then I've had two parties, a binge , no exercise, and the bloat fairy has come over (gee, thanks for that, Doreen!)! Still I'm trying to remain optimistic--whatever the scale says I can correct in time. This week is the toughest one, temptation-wise; I'm going to get through it and hold my head up because I even TRIED to take care of myself!

Onward and downward with a ho-ho-ho!
Erin

 

[septbride2002]

I just had to tell you that I earned my clippie today!

~Amanda

 

[DoeWDW]

Good luck with the scale tomorrow morning, Erin! I'll be thinking of you! No matter what that scale says, you'll always be a in my book!

 

[lulu201]

Modifying my clippies--I'm back up a pound. I can deal with it--the weekend and some healthy living strategies are coming! I have to agree with what you said in your journal, Doreen--I'm not feeling too worried either for some reason. At the moment, I feel like I can cope.

MIL is coming to spend the night tonight. I have to do some last minute house cleaning before I head off to work, so I'm going to zip on outa here. I won't have any time to catch up here until tomorrow. . .I'm looking forward to some quiet time where I can assess the healthy living situation and plan some pampering for the weekend! I'm missing my water and my exercise!

Onward, at the very least--

Erin

 

[DoeWDW]

I only have a moment this morning, but wanted to pop in and send some your way!! I know bright light scares away the Munchie Monster, but does it also scare away the Bloat Fairy?? If so, then this should take care of him but good!!

Onward for now, downward to come, Erin!

 

[DoeWDW]

Good morning, Erin!

I hope all is well and you had a restful night's sleep. I also hope you and your family are enjoying the time with your MIL. The weekend is almost here, and I hope you have some "relax" time built into the schedule! You are NOT an Energizer bunny - you have to recharge sometime!

I'm sending happy thoughts, pixie dust and warm smiles your way!


Doreen

 

[lulu201]

12/19 It's Friday! It's been quite a week, and I feel like I've come through it to a peaceful place. Like just about everybody, I have things to do for the holidays yet, but I feel like I can find the joy in the busy-ness.

My MIL is on her way home. Our visit was short, but it meant a lot to her to see DD in her concert (DD sang in 3 different ensembles!); I was pretty frazzled about her coming--housework needed to be done, etc--but what was essential was completed. She and I had some time together to have coffee this a.m. and talk about plans for a family get-together on Christmas day; again, plans are to just do what's essential. With DBIL in Afghanistan, the first Christmas without my MILs mother (who passed away last January), and a cousin expecting surgery, things will be very different. I also had time this a.m. to call a friend whose husband just passed away. . .it was good to hear her voice and tell her I was thinking about her.

I've tried to keep a realistic perspective on this week. I'd be lying if I said that I passed up every goodie that came my way, but in the midst of Godiva chocolates, iced brownies, and chocolate-dipped biscotti, I've been on the path of moderation. I've indulged some, but there have been many things I haven't reached for. When I look at my way of thinking this Christmas as compared to other years, I'm happy about where I'm at. I've come a long way, and I'm proud of the change in ME!

Today I've taken my vitamins (I think?), had my coffee (though I'll have one at WaWa later), and am hoping for a low point day.

Food: toast w/cr. cheese and jelly, coffee w/cream=4

Off to start the day!
Erin

Edit: had to go to Kohl's again (!) and while I was there I found an adorable holiday sweater with two little westies on it! I bought it in a size M! Oh, happy day!

Lunch: tuna salad and crackers=7

Feeling like I need a nap, but will work on Christmas cards a little instead. Or maybe I'll just close my eyes a little and think about cards?

Snack: tangerine=1
nice, refreshing cat nap=0

 

[DoeWDW]

A nap??!! Good for you!! You recognized that your body wanted some rest and I bet you feel lots better!! I'm glad today has not been as hectic as some of your other days this week!

Your new sweater sounds so cute (and so SMALL)!! Some day I'll have to show you my dachshund sweater!!

Enjoy your weekend, Queen Lulu! You've certainly earned it!!

 

[lulu201]

The good news is that it was a nice day that ended with DH and I going out for a nice dinner. The bad news is that I ate some not-so-nice food and had a not-so-nice cheat. To help me to relieve the guilt, I'm vowing tonight to make tomorrow a cheat free day. Also I'm going to walk on the treadie. There, I feel better already. . .tomorrow's a new day!