LTT waitress said WHAT????

[BCV23]

What am I missing here? That comment was inappropriate and bizarre. It has nothing to do with expressing who you are. It's not appropriate to share these types of intimate details with a young child unless that child is your own child and you decide to do so. What if the conversation went like this:

Waiter: How are you today
Child: I'm good how are you.
Waiter: Well, not too good. I'm a little sore from having a vasectamy yesterday.

Is that appropriate? Of couse not. Keep your intimate medical procedures to yourself or to those who want to hear about them.

She didn't discuss any medical procedures....just a nickname.

 

[slug]

She didn't discuss any medical procedures....just a nickname.

Good point.

Except for the fact that "she" told a 7 year old that she used to be a boy, thus making reference to a medical procedure.

 

[BCV23]

Good point.

Except for the fact that "she" told a 7 year old that she used to be a boy, thus making reference to a medical procedure.

If reported accurately, she did not say she used to be a boy. That would be diffferent IMO. Rather she just naturally responded to hearing her old name.

But I'm through discussing a secondhand report. I just think it would be good to remember the old axiom of not judging until you've walked a mile in someone's moccasins.

 

[kimberh]

I am sure glad it was not said at our table. It would have had a rebuttal and that would sure have not been Magical. Very uncalled for and who's judging. when someone has choosen to serve food then serve the food. I really don't want to know anything else.

 

[aes74]

I'm with whomever expressed surprise that a docor and her family blinked an eye at this.
.

Why does it matter if the person was a doctor or not? It's not about the parents it's about the child. Do doctors sit their kids down at six and explain transgender, sexual reassignment surgeries, vasectomies, implants, etc? I am not following the logic here.

I don't care if someone switched their sexual orientation. I do care if they choose when my kid hears about it. I would like to spill the beans about birds and the bees, etc. I too teach kids, and I am not sure that at 7 a child could fully understand all the ramifications. This does not have to do with kindness to others who are different, I expect and encourage kindness to all from my children, but I think we are confusing two different matters. Liberty Tree Tavern at seven is not my ideal setting for that discussion.

Having said that, I doubt she meant to say it. It probably came out of her mouth before she even realized it. If it were a slip, I would have just let it go and moved on. If she were a bit icy afterwards toward us, then I would have been upset. What an interesting story. You don't hear that everyday.

 

[FFXDSNADDICT]

No matter how people feel about what was said. There is a time and a place for everything, and I just don't feel that it was a necessity to say it while serving others at The Magic Kingdom...which is supposed to be exactly what it says... MAGIC... FOR ALL, not matter the age, race, gender, ect. ect..... not Reality. We have enough of that on TV now a days. IMHO....

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

First of all, this person was their server. There was no need for this exchange to happen. When I'm eating in a restaurant, all I expect is for the server to let me know what the specials are and to take and deliver my order. I do not need or expect any personal information from the server. Sometimes they offer a name. I used to work as a server and I would never, ever volunteer any more information than my first name. I would have called the manager over immediately. If I went in expecting a meal and left having to explain gender issues, I would have been annoyed to say the least. My agenda = dinner. Server's agenda = Bring me dinner. Anything beyond that is unacceptable.

I am lovin this , my thoughts exactly! I have 4 young children and run a licensed daycare. There are some things that you just do not say in fron of children. I was a server back "in the day" and there are some things that you just don't say to your customers and I think that that what he/she said is probably near the top of the list because it's a real jaw dropper. I would have called a manager, personally. I do not need to be explaining those issues to my children at MK. That is our no brain zone for the mama. That would have put me on overload LOL!

 

[jenr812]

Whatever she went through, it isn't professional to be sharing something so personal with customers.

First of all, this person was their server. There was no need for this exchange to happen. When I'm eating in a restaurant, all I expect is for the server to let me know what the specials are and to take and deliver my order. I do not need or expect any personal information from the server. Sometimes they offer a name. I used to work as a server and I would never, ever volunteer any more information than my first name. I would have called the manager over immediately. If I went in expecting a meal and left having to explain gender issues, I would have been annoyed to say the least. My agenda = dinner. Server's agenda = Bring me dinner. Anything beyond that is unacceptable.

Perfect. While a server whose personality and demeanor adds something positive to my dining experience is welcome, any exchanges of such a personal nature is simply unacceptable.

If reported accurately, she did not say she used to be a boy. That would be diffferent IMO. Rather she just naturally responded to hearing her old name.

But I'm through discussing a secondhand report. I just think it would be good to remember the old axiom of not judging until you've walked a mile in someone's moccasins.

The female server said it was her nickname when she was a little BOY, indicating that when SHE was a child, she was a HE. So yes, she did say she USED to be a boy.

I also don't see how anyone is judging anyone at all. The situation is being judged, though. And as has been said several times, it is inappropriate for a restaurant server to discuss such personal things with the restaurant patrons she (he?) is being paid to serve. I sure hope someone wouldn't say, "Wow, I used to be the same size as you before I lost weight" or "Before I had breast augmentation, I was as flat as you are" or "Before the Hair Club for Men, I was bald like you!"

 

[tmarquez]

At first the parents laughed but quickly realized she was not kidding. Theresa was then not very friendly with them the rest of the meal.

Wow. I personally don't want to have any type of personal conversations with my server, and that is definately personal.

Now it might not be politically correct, but I have to admit that if it had been my family we would have just cracked up laughing...especially DD(4) because at her age right now anything like that would be extremely funny and she would remember that one all day.

What is odd to me (in addition to the comment) was that the server was offended that they laughed. I mean what did she expect? A Hallmark card with "congrats on your sex change"?

I don't care who you are, or what your situation is, but there's a time and a place for everything ESPECIALLY at work. The server is lucky the customers where cool about it because if they had not, who knows, could she have lost her job...if a big enough stink was made?

 

[Freyja]

Wow. I personally don't want to have any type of personal conversations with my server, and that is definately personal. Now it might not be politically correct, but I have to admit that if it had been my family we would have just cracked up laughing...especially DD(4) because at her age right now anything like that would be extremely funny and she would remember that one all day.

What is odd to me (in addition to the comment) was that the server was offended that they laughed. I mean what did she expect? A Hallmark card with "congrats on your sex change"?

I don't care who you are, or what your situation is, but there's a time and a place for everything ESPECIALLY at work. The server is lucky the customers where cool about it because if they had not, who knows, could she have lost her job...if a big enough stink was made?

That´s interesting. I have on many occasions had servers who were more than happy to share some of their personal informations with me. I have never seen a problem with that. Often they have mentioned to my kids that they have kids the same age, or where they have travelled to, where they lived as a kid, what their hobbys are etc. Would you have a problem with that?

 

[smartestnumber5]

I don't care if someone switched their sexual orientation. I do care if they choose when my kid hears about it. I would like to spill the beans about birds and the bees, etc. I too teach kids, and I am not sure that at 7 a child could fully understand all the ramifications.

She did not change her "sexual orientation" (that we know of). She changed her sex.

 

[smartestnumber5]

That´s interesting. I have on many occasions had servers who were more than happy to share some of their personal informations with me. I have never seen a problem with that. Often they have mentioned to my kids that they have kids the same age, or where they have travelled to, where they lived as a kid, what their hobbys are etc. Would you have a problem with that?

Yeah I have the same kinds of experiences with servers. There was one person at Whispering Canyon who must have talked to us for at least 10 minutes straight (it was closing time and we were the only people left). He asked us all about where we are from, where we go to school, what we study, and then told us about how he used to live where we live, and was so into the football team at the university we are at, and how he dated a woman just to get to use her football tickets (I think he was kidding), and how he moved to Florida with the new woman he's dating, and what his kids do.

I was also at Applebees a few days ago and had a kind of crazy server who kept teasing us and talking to us. Eventually when she saw my Disney Visa she launched into a story about how she used to work at WDW. She told us all about what job she did and even did some of the monologue from it and told us to quiz her about it. Then she told us how little money she made there and how she makes twice as much at Applebees, how working at WDW sucked her soul away, and how she is going back to school to get into dentistry, and she used to brush her teeth a lot as a kid.

In both cases I thought they were very amusing.

 

[Blaze12]

I'm with whomever expressed surprise that a docor and her family blinked an eye at this.

Maybe he was a pediatrician!

 

[pilferk]

Its just not info you normally blurt out to complete strangers, that's all. I don't blurt out my unsolicited medical history to complete strangers, either. And with a child, it should be up to the parents how/ when to introduce such a topic, too.

That's precisely what I was going to say: I don't want to hear when/if my server had an appendectomy or tonsilectomy either. I just don't. It's not really anything to do with the interaction at hand. I enjoy the social pleasantries, but I really don't need to know about the foibles of their every day life (good and bad). In the same vein, I don't want to know they've just broken up with a significant other, started dating a new prospective significant other, their ATM Pin code, their social security number, when they last used the facilities, what the interest rate on their mortgage is, how much they make in tips, or any other private details of their PRIVATE lives. This one is no different, no better and no worse, than any of those.

I'm happy the person has found happiness in their life, whether it be via a gender change or what have you. But I don't need to know about it, don't want to know about it, and have no reason to be told about it.

Thus, I agree with the TMI assertions.

 

[LPZ_Stitch!]

If reported accurately, she did not say she used to be a boy. That would be diffferent IMO. Rather she just naturally responded to hearing her old name.

Ummm, how does, "Oh, that used to be my name when I was a little boy!!"
NOT mean that she used to be a boy???

Yeah, I agree with the TMI position!

 

[FayeW]

While I will be the first to admit that such a topic is not what I would expect from a server in a family restaurant, I also have to say that some of you appear to be very pompous and arrogant! "I don't want to have personal conversations with my server" indeed!

*SNAP! SNAP!* Bring me my drink! Bring me my refill! Smile at my darlings! Make sure you acknowledge whatever "special" event I am celebrating but don't DARE tell me anything about yourself or make polite conversation! *SNAP* Bring me my bill so I don't miss Illuminations or Wishes! *SNAP*

 

[BuffaloGal]

While I will be the first to admit that such a topic is not what I would expect from a server in a family restaurant, I also have to say that some of you appear to be very pompous and arrogant! "I don't want to have personal conversations with my server" indeed!

*SNAP! SNAP!* Bring me my drink! Bring me my refill! Smile at my darlings! Make sure you acknowledge whatever "special" event I am celebrating but don't DARE tell me anything about yourself or make polite conversation! *SNAP* Bring me my bill so I don't miss Illuminations or Wishes! *SNAP*

I like you.

 

[shovan]

I think she did not think before she spoke. Still it was an unprofessional and inappropriate for comment to make while working.

 

[travelitis]

This is so inappropriate, that it's hard to really believe she was serious.
I'm not convinced that she didn't just have a very dry sense of humor. Her not being very friendly could've amounted to one of many things:

a) She had a headache.
b) She sensed their discomfort with her and kept her distance. (Gee, could the shocked adults at the table possibly have done some whispering and shot her some looks trying to figure it out?)
c) Her looking serious was just part of her dry humor (My family are practitioners of this technique, my FIL in particular and especially in restaurants to servers. He holds that demeanor longer than most people who are dishing up sarcasm.)
d) That's her usual personality - never a warm person
e) Not totally familiar with her job or very busy and preoccupied just trying to be competant.
f) being embarrassed at them seeming to take her seriously and didn't know how to address it without putting her foot further in her mouth

If they didn't pull her aside and ask if she had been joking or serious, then we really don't know but are assuming, and you know what to assume makes out of you and me. So, maybe she was serious and maybe she wasn't.

 

[FreddyBeach]

Most reasonable explanation to me:

"Nick" or "Nic" was her nickname when she was a little girl. She accidentally said "boy"... you know, a verbal slip.

She took the laughing as being "laughed at" not "laughed with". As a "Bigger Woman" she may have been (probably was) the object of ridicule in the past and would be sensitive to, what she perceived to be, people laughing at her expense.

I doubt she was sharing her earlier life as a boy.

Mike in the Maritimes.